the cover made my day

before they start dating one another trixie challnges twilight to a duel only it ends up  as a hoof fight between trixie and twilight

Build her own Canterlot? With Blackjack and Hookers?

Hookers hates her name

>>11240421124042

No, hookers HAVE her name

Wait, no.... that was strippers I was thinking of.... h-uh.

Drunk Trixie is best Trixie

Not likely to read. Liked for picture.

Interesting concept, writing about snippets of an existing relationship rather than most ship fics I've read where it talks about them getting into the relationship first.  There were some grammatical errors, such as mistaking Your and You're early on.  But over-all I rather enjoyed it.  

The idea gives me ideas for fics myself, and I certainly look forward to updates, when they come out.

>>11271221127122

I actually did build the relationship in my other story lesson's in friendship. Give it a look!

>>11239731123973

It made my day when I first saw it on deviantart as well!

You'd think in Ponyville they'd have whiskey instead of vodka. Y'know... REAL alcohol?

>>11411121141112

I went for vodka because cheap vodka really does taste like death I actually enjoy drinking whiskey by itself

not enough blackjack

I should not have a boner right now.

Horn Sensitivity inspired by this image. No idea who drew it but I love Twilight's expression in it so much that I felt the need to write a piece on it!

Image: http://www.interbutt.org/plog-content/images/sfwmaybe/pretty-pink-pwnies/7358---book-.png

>>11824551182455

Best comment ever

i was thinking that trixie would tell spike to leave so that twilight and her could have some "alone" time

>>11827431182743

Yeah I was kinda going for a twist/unexpected ending :p

Wow. That was weirdly erotic...

>>11827911182791 I like that. Also good to see Trixie and Spike not at each other's throats for once.

this got featured, nice

very nicely done. now on to ch2

>>11824551182455

nor should I. that doesn't stop me from having one.

"On the bed, now."

that line just made my night. please update soon.

I had a feeling Trixie was going to fall asleep before she could get started.  Man, she is going to have a hangover in the morninig.

Not sure if boner

.

.

.

ICE CREAM!

>>12246851224685

It did?! Like in the feature box? I don't see it...

>>12247261224726

Thank you! I update very randomly but since they are shorts there should be some more soon.

>>12249321224932 you're too late. it was when i commented on it. it was the last box

>>12249401224940

Dayum, didn't know it was such a short lived thing! Ah well, still awesome to know it was there for a bit

As much as you allude to it will this ever get cloppy? (I hope so, there isn't much in the way of well written Twixie clop)

The last 3 slots on the feature box are for stories that have updated and have enough views/likes to be featured, but have already been, or its been to long since the story was originally posted. It's basically to showcase popular older fics, so everytime you update this story it will pop up on there.

>>12250641225064

Oh cool, thanks for the explanation.

As for the clop I'm sorry to dissapoint but I won't be going that far. I'm not comfortable with it and I feel even Horn Sensitivity was straying further into Rule 34 than I'd like I doubt I'd be able to write it well anyway as I haven't read erotic novels before as its not my thing! I believe alluding to it is more pleasing anyway as the reader can use thier own imagination

>>12250731225073 Yep the feature box is how I found this story, I think I'll go read the parent fic to this now.

and clop or no clop this story is still good like/faved

>>12251271225127

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

>>11827431182743>>11827911182791

Besides, the Teen rating had to be kept.

Ice cream rules!

Quite nice. :D Ah, Trixie. A bit of karma for not helping out with Winter. Ah, well.

Drew up a pic for wrapping up winter!

Image: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/250/a/e/open_wide__by_philosopher_01-d5dw9k5.jpg

Good chapter, but it's completely unedited. Or if it is, fire your editor.

D'awww....

>>12528851252885

I don't have anyone look at the Twixie shorts for me. Is it really that bad? I read over it and all before posting

Mmm, I have to admit, the quality on this one seems to have suffered a bit. Felt like you weren't really into it when you wrote it - maybe you were rushed?

It's nothing I can show you concrete examples of, it's just a general feeling. I actually paused and checked if you'd had a guest author write it or something like that, it doesn't feel like you.

>>12529021252902 The problems aren't in the spelling, but the grammar and style. Read through it a few more times, maybe out loud, and you'll find that it really doesn't flow as well as the other shorts.

>>12529301252930

Hmm that's unfortunate. I don't think I put any less effort into this than the other shorts, but I reckon I'm getting too impatient and just writing for the sake of it. Think I'll take a break for a while and come back to it when I'm more interested.

>>12529531252953

Yeah, you should really have someone read over your stories before submitting them. There were a lot of grammar errors in this one, more so than the other chapters.

I actually really like how... human you made them in this chapter. Their conflicting emotions and eventual realizations were incredibly realistic. But as it's been pointed out before, I found myself being pretty much consistently distracted by the grammatical errors. Do you have a proofreader on your side? If not, there's a possibility that I might be able to help you out. If you already have one... get him to read this over again. But like I said, amazing story. You've got talent, you just need a little refinement around the edges.

One word...... Adorable.........

>>12530571253057

Thanks, at least I managed to get the emotions across. I do have a proof reader but I never had him look at these shorts because well ... they were just short little things I threw out now and then! I think the problem with this as I mentioned already was impatience, writing for the sake of writing and not taking my time with it. I'm going to take a break from it for a while and I'll probably return with a fresher mind.

As for helping me, I don't know if you read my first chapter of ties that bind but I will be getting back to that, and I'd really appreciate help on that story. Ill contact you with drafts of that one if your interested whenever I get back to it!

Not bad, here. Good to see real, honest emotions with Trixie and Twilight.

I like little glimpses into the characters' everyday lives, and these shorts certainly fit the bill. Quick and very enjoyable without resorting to clop or overdone drama. Throw these through a proofreader for grammar and other minor technical issues and you're good to go.

>>12531491253149

"Twilight, you got a letter from you're school back in Canterlot!"

yeah, so I expect that the reason everyone is bashing the grammar is less about it being really objectively bad and more about how it seems bad in comparison to your other stuff, tbh

>>12551511255151

Confused by this comment. I see the error in that sentence now ... are you being honest are sarcastic here I can't tell ...

>>12551981255198

I think he's being honest. That error's not the worst in the world, but it is a silly one that highlights the 'rush' feel of the piece - or as you state, the 'writing for the sake of writing' feel, which could just as likely be the culprit.

It's not just the error though, the voices feel stilted in places, and a lot of the thought flow feels jarring. Like, another example:

"Oh, could you read it out for me? I'm a little busy- oh not there Trixie!" Twilight responded without turning to Spike, organising a mass of various books with her magic. Trixie was also 'helping' which meant she was throwing the books on to random shelves, which Twilight had to then organise afterwards.

The pacing feels distinctly off on the last sentence, less like weaving a story and more like, well, writing for children honestly. You're usually subtler than that, I feel. I dunno, trying to explain it is hard. It's all vague stuff about feels and pacing and flow that I can't really quantify properly. 6_9

Image: http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Manly+Tears.+They+hath+been+shed_5467c1_3210442.jpg

I haven't cried like this since the end of Lord of the Rings Return of the King. Or was it when Boromir died trying to save Merry and Pippin.

he's jealous of Celestia ...."

"Not just jealous Twilight Sparkle. Only

a pony who loves you so deeply would

get so upset over some compitition.

Competition*

>>12551981255198>>12553711255371

sorry, I meant what I said honestly, but could have been more clear to be sure. That particular sentence wasn't even what prompted my comment. The entire piece here just feels a tad off from the rest of your work. And it isn't even that it's BAD, its just not what we're used to

>>12570021257002

No worries, like I said your comment just confused me a little! I'll be sure to take my time with the next thing I write to avoid this happening again.

Reads story.

>mfw

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2884-Rainbow_Dash_leg_wiggle_2.gif

Dat reconciliation.

>>12632791263279

Haha that is such an awesome gif!

Errors aside, I personally think this is the most emotional of your shorts.  I truly enjoyed it.  

>>12665881266588

Thank you, I appreciate that

"Great and powerful headache in the morning", heh great way to finish a humorous tale.

I definitely liked the emotional gravitas of this story, especially as a nice followup to the more humorous shorts before it.

>>13094341309434

Thanks man, glad you enjoyed them. I always appreciate when someone leaves a comment after reading!

>>13095191309519

You're welcome. Happy it's good.

>>13095361309536

Out of curiosity how did you come across this story?

>>13095621309562

One of my current MLP fanfic projects involves Trixie, as odd as that sounds considering I'm not too fond of the character myself. I did a Google Images search so I could have a decent reference picture to use for the fanfic regarding her magic color, etc, although most of the results were Twilight/Trixie shipping. Among said results was that picture you used with the "Blackjack and Hookers", said it was linked here. So out of humored interest, I came across this fanfic and read on once I found the first story to be likeable.

>>13095871309587

Odd how you weren't linked straight to the artist who actually drew it google is strange at times! That's interesting though, the story gets a couple hits every day and I always wonder how ppl come across it.

What exactly did you search for?

Also what's your project? I love Trixie and am interested in most things involving her!

>>13096221309622

Just pictures of Trixie in general to draw reference upon since I didn't feel like screenshooting a YouTube posting of the episode she's in and I only saw said episode once due to it not being a favorite. The results were quite numerous and included stuff like the art piece. Knowing Google, the actual artista's work probably showed up later down the list.

Would like to see more.  This one is quite touching.

This fic is drowning in the sea of D'AWWwww and i'm loving it.

Brohoof for writing adorable, uplifting stories, we got waaaay too much grimdark/sad/dark/clop crapola floating around this site.

>>20359622035962

I agree, never understood why people would come to ponies for anything besides smiles!

Thanks for the kind words, glad my stories achieved what they set out to do!

>>13091201309120I see what you did there