Silent Storm has never been a normal pegasus. Abandoned as a foal, and with dragon wings and a head of flame, nopony has ever truly accepted him. When he feels as if he's made his first real connection with somepony, a power awakens inside of him, and he wishes to know what it is, so he goes on a journey to find out.
you know the drill, first story, feedback would be nice, like if you like, favorite if you love and want to see more
Cover Art Credit: NKtwist [DA]
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This is can be a great fanfic if u put a little more work into chapters. It's good as it is, just saying it can be improved.
I give it 4-5/10 (Medium good)
M.C
Love it! He is in so much trouble
Good chapter could use a little more description in the chapters but other wise good
Poor little guy he must be shocked by this new information
interesting story, i don't read fics often but this seems unique
Well the idea is interesting for this story and you seem to know where you want to take your story that's good. But i have a few problems
first: If he is concerned with nothing but his own survival why did he approach Luna instead of running away? You said so yourself he run's away from everything to survive. Try to tell us more as to why he decided to stay.
Second: What was Luna doing flying through the Everfree? You need to explain more or the reader will just be confused.
Third: Try to have a distinct differentiation when you switch from your OC's POV to somepony else like a free line with a ------------ to show your changing POV's.
Try to find a proofreader or editor to help you out they will help to iron out the problems you have. go to http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=27 and look for a proof reader and editor to help you out.
This is just my opinion after reading through your first chapter so you will want somepony with more writing experience to help you criticise your work on a more detailed level.
Keep up the hard work and youll be a great writer someday!
first: curiosity, Luna didn't seem threatening
second: idk, i just need some kind of introduction
, maybe she was searching for something? or maybe boredom?
Third: kay thx
I was actually really happy that you commented
because you're story is my favorite that I've read on the site so far. You're like my fav online author at the moment.
Nice story so far can't wait for next chapter.
there is one they fear he is dragon born, silent storm