This seems pretty interesting so far.  Loved the references to Legend of Zelda cartoon and Rocky Horror Picture Show.

>>7011770117

Thank you! I'm currently working on the fourth chapter.

There are a few errors in this chapter, like entire paragraphs missing. You may want to look it over and edit again.

>>9553695536

Thank you for bring this to my attention. If you spot in more errors like this let me know and I'll fix them up in a jiffy.

>>9565295652

If you spot any*

You really, really need to improve your spelling. Automatic spellchecker doesn't cut it.

Stare well off to the right

ushering us pack in the room

We galloped to the lift cadges.

whose the boss...

Sitting down in the thrown

getting up from the thrown

The other ponies got up from the thrown (aaaargh!)

And total mess concerning there/they're/their, its/it's, your/you're plus a very liberal approach to s/'s

This is really breaking the immersion. Previous chapters weren't as bad but this one was making me groan.

Seems promising. But the chapters are really short...

road the elevator

I’m mean really you life’s work

sounded more timid and horse.

Far enough.

>>116768116768

I'm not seeing the problem concerning its and it's. Its is possessive, and it's is the contraction of it is I used both properly. Concerning the other errors I will reread the chapter to find any grammar and spelling errors I missed the first time around. Thank you for the comment.

>>116786116786

Thank you for pointing out the errors. They have been corrected. Yeah I know my fic's chapters aren't as long as say Kkat's or Somber's, but that's my choice, and my style.

>>117788117788

“Well Silva, I don’t think licking the sheet will kill the taste; I shudder to think where its been.

(this is a contraction of "it has", so it's)

Sorry, but its not going to happen, but you can be 20% cooler and join M.O.A. today!

“I...” ~pant~ “Don’t...” ~wheeze~ “Think...” ~hack~ “That...” ~cough~ “Its...” ~gasp~ “Firing...” ~wobble~ “at...” ~wobble~ “Us...”

It had a fruity, sweet, tangy tasty, and it’s texture was like that of a thick cream.

The interior of the rust bucket they called an office was in much better condition than it’s exterior led me to believe.

As he spoke his right eye moved lazily from Patch to me as the other sat in it’s socket staring blankly

The robot attempted to bring us back onto it’s script.

>>126506126506

I thought you meant just for the fourth chapter. I'll go back and edit the others so that the grammar is correct.

*Edit*

The corrections have been made.

First question does this take place at the of the original?

And second question why does Zhu's Hope sound familiar?

>>247093247093

It's set before the events of Little Pip's adventure.

The name of the town was inspired by Mass Effect.

>>247635247635

Thank ya. The sky opening sounded like the end of it and DUH! I should have remembered that mission.

OMG I missed some FoE story?   I like it. Can you please continue to write it? More FoE is better, you know.

I will continue to write it. I've just been on hiatus do to life issues.

Oh, poor Roxy.. Good chapter, mate! I like this story so much! Protagonist is ex-enclave straight mare. What can be better?

Also I like how you write. Story is not big, and not contain much details or 'deep' narration, but it's still not feels rushed, and have enough character's development.

I think you should update story little more often. More than year between chapters are little too long.