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Joined December 2011
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242
Core stories: Compendium Memories and Compendium Letters.
Resilience: Rainbow Dash's part of the story. She travels to her home place to warn everypony about the upcoming invasion. However, mankind has something different planned for conquering, and destroying, the cloud cities.
(The cover picture is temporary)
Meh. I really didn't like the dialogue, as it was a bit bland, and un-"human", as terrible as that sounds. There simply wasn't enough description of the environment and reactions of the characters. Too much dialogue makes up for a very, very bland story, sorry to say. Less meaningless dialogue, and more descriptions would help your stories' chances a lot. Applejack's contributions to the beginning... "Paragraph" I guess you could say, were meaningless, and pointless, just random blathering, trying to act as if she was in the conversation. All around, it was pretty hard to read this story, with the multiple indents, the excessive dialogue, and absolutely no descriptions, as far as I could read. It seems as though you just threw every idea you had into this, and just bundle it together with duck tape. I'm sorry to say, but this story deserves downvotes, unless of course, you fix this. I wasn't even able to read the whole story, because my eyes and brain were burning from the straining of trying to read with the excessive indents and random dialogue. I'm sorry, but this story sucks. I recommend editing this.
>>1085734 I wrote that story a year ago and I haven't had the time to improve it. I know it has a lot of flaws and I know the ending is anti-climatic. However, I'll try to improve (or even rewrite it) sooner or later. You will notice how much I've improved in my writing style if you check my newest stories (Hangover and Afterdark mostly).
I only posted this story because it's part of the Compendium series, and I was actually expecting some feedback like this. Thanks for the heads up brony, it helps me to get better and better everyday.
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