One day Rarity pushes Spike to run away only to regret her actions after Spike(now older, slendor and walks on all fours) tries to give her something that she thinks will make him want to be in a relationship with her. Can she fix things and bring him back or will Spike stay away forever?
First fanfic ever written by me so gimme all you guys got!
Inspired by IceFlower365's drawing of Spike and Rarity on DeviantArt
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I'll go with my gut and give this a shot.
Because I fucking love Sparity.
Hmm, well it is easy to see that this is your first fanfic, but the plot is a good one. Just practice and I'm sure you'll have many great stories in the future!
PS: First follower! I'll be looking out for your future fanfictions.
It... it's like he said "Punctuation is for chumps!" My mind can't really put that stuff in for me so I read it exactly like it's written. it kinda hurts...
1078613 So what you you mean is?Becuase I actually did try as best I could typing on an iPhone keyboard so something like this doesn't come up.
1078352 Why thank you I'll try to make more if possible
1078403 thank you that actually means a lot to me
since this was on an Ipod, I could see why there are a couple mistakes here and there, but a great story. The only way how it would be better if it had a few more chapters in it, but that's my opinion.
I hope you become well known on this site.
This is based of the humanized picture of Spike and Rarity where Spike returms years after she chased him of, hmm. Will read.
You still need to capitalize and properly use grammar.
Okay, lets start the list shall we.
You kept switchign tenses from past to present. This is a gaint no, no. You have an outrageously high number of run-on sentances. Repetiton issues sprinkled through out. Descriptons either weren't there or were lacking. You had lots of typos in the forms of misspelled words or words that were clearely supposed to be other words. And more or less, you just ponyfied the orginal story instead of expanding on it.
It needs a lot of work. It's not horrible or beyond saving, but it needs work.
Sparity is best.
I feel if it was a bit longer it would hold more drama and be even awesomer but it's still really cool
Could use a prereader for spelling and grammer errors but I don't mind to much.
1082691 well if I ever make another sparity, most likely what I'll mainly write about, would you mind per reading it for me?
1083254 I'll be honest I am the worse pre reader. I had to retake english but I think Path of cloud will help. He is a bit busy with his own storys but he knows about groups that pre read stories. I could help as long as it is about ideas I have bad spelling and grammer, but ideas I have to many. I would love to help in anyway I can but checking spelling and grammer I am close to useless.
1078323 ummm... who DOESN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1341232 the bastards that write RariJack? o_o
1342530
ugh..... seriously.
RariJack no but I think I prefer applesoarin more
1344525 1344361
My hatred of RariJack is because of the setup in MLP, I literally see Spike and Rarity as being an official pairing deeply in love. While I can ship Spike with others easily, probably because he's a male and my first, true MLP fanfic was a Spilight, shipping Rarity with anybody but Spike makes me physically sick. I've actually puked at RariJack fics and pictures because I also prefer AppleDash... so yeah. I have kind of a deep loathing of RariJack.
1344580 i love spilight, and rarispike, i loathe rarijack. but my favorite shipping is twidash.
you know any good spilight fics?
1344595 Well, Our Last Goodbye was my gateway fanfic and my favourite romance story of all time. Another one (for the first lil' bit) is Warming Up by Proteus-82. Another is "The Dragon in Twilight," and ANOTHER one is "The Twilight's of our Hearts."
eeyup
I actually don't like TwiDash mostly because I don't understand where the flying hell it came from. :I
1344619 thanks, and think about it, they are opposites, and they can get together. it shows that love is strong. twidash is just extremely heartwarming for me. hey, have you read 'curse of the werepony' yet? awesome rarispike...
I really enjoy re-reading "That deep, romantic chasm" and "Fire Spores" is an excellent heartwarming story to read it also gets your adrenaline running as well I recommend those two if you want to read something
1344641 Yes. I've read a lot of Sparity fics.
1344676 I've heard of Fire Spores, probably read it, but haven't heard of the first one. Have you read, "Like Fine Wine" or "On Pins and Needles?"
1344853 I'll recommend it it's really good in my point if view.
Actually everything I read is mainly sparity do yea If you see a story about them I probably read it
1344580 You know, I am going to write a RariJack just for you!
1583621 i'll break your kneecaps
1583746 Oh come on, where is your sense of humor? I SO have to write one, just for you! It will be the best troll fic EVER! LOLLOL!
1583754 You'd initiate my Terminator instincts. (#¤_o)
1583762 Okay, in all seriousness, this is going to be my next project. It will be a one shot, and it will be dedicated to you. I will call it "The Apple in the Rough" Not a bad title, for it being made up on the fly.
1583777 I've actually heard that title to three RariJack fics (all of them killed me). Try something more like, "Shimmering Apple" or something to represent a shiny, sparkly apple (to represent Rarity's shiny nature and Applejack's... fruity nature).
1583787 Okay, I take back it being a troll fic. I will do my very best to make it at least not vomit inducing for you. I mean that. When I write this, it will be a serious attempt to bring the two together in a realistic fashion. Good title by the way.
1583777
1583787
1583791
*Shudders*
....*Vomits*