Mutually Mixed-Up Mares
Octavia wasn't usually a heavy sleeper. Any sudden, loud noise or slight touch could shatter the hold sleep had on her, sending her crashing back into reality. No Octavia wasn't a heavy sleeper at all, but despite this fact she always managed to sleep soundly. Her mornings, while usually started with the incessant blare of one rather abused alarm clock, never left her with the "five more minutes" syndrome. She always woke up refreshed and ready to tackle the day.
This morning however, was not like most mornings.
Rather than being awoken by her usual alarm clock, the mare was instead stirred awake by the sounds of shouting and banging of hooves on the front door.
"Octavia!"
Slam! Slam! Slam!
"Octavia I know you're in - NO YOU SHUT UP! - I know you're in there!"
Slam! Slam! Slam!
"Octavia, get your flank up and open this door before somepony calls the cops!
...
What do you mean you're calling the cops!? OCTAVIA!"
Muttering to herself incomprehensibly, Octavia stirred from her slumber, at least partway. Though she was herself in mind, much like Vinyl, she was not herself in body. Therefore sleep never shook itself completely off her and instead clung to her like a wet blanket as she blearily made her way to the source of the banging.
Slam! Slam! Slam!
"OCTAVIA! OCTAVI-"
Vinyl's shouting was cut short when the door opened suddenly. Octavia looked at the pony in the doorway through half lidded eyes and a sleepy mind. Likewise, Vinyl stared at, well, herself with open eyes and a fully awake mind, though she was still having a hard time processing what she was seeing.
Octavia gave the mare at the door (herself) a sleepy smile.
"Oh, hello me. How am I doing today?" the mare obliviously asked.
"Er, Octavia?"
"Yes?"
"Can I come in?"
Octavia took a few clumsy steps backwards, allowing Vinyl to enter the apartment. Crossing the threshold of the room, Vinyl quietly closed the door and locked it. Turning around to face a still half asleep Octavia, Vinyl took in a deep breath.
"Octavia, are you feeling ok?"
"Why yes, why do I ask?" Octavia answered before yawning heavily.
Vinyl groaned, realizing that she was talking to Octavia, but only in mind. The body she occupied was still very much her (Vinyl's) own, and that meant that she had to either wait half the day for the body to catch up to the mind, or to speed up the process a bit.
Time was not an option.
Trotting quickly to the kitchen, Vinyl fumbled about for a glass, which she quickly filled with the coldest water she could muster from the sink. Returning to the living room of the small apartment, she stood in front of the half asleep Octavia, water in hoof.
"Sorry Octy, you'll thank me for this later, I think," Vinyl said before turning the glass atop Octavia's head, sending its cold contents splashing down upon the mare.
"Gack!" was the only response Octavia gave to the sudden deluge of liquid. Eyes now fully shot awake, and her mind snapped out of its sleepy reverie, Octavia joined the waking world. Her eyes narrowed in anger and she shot a glare at the pony responsible, only to have them snap back open in shock and disbelief.
Yeah, seeing yourself in front of yourself might cause that kind of a reaction.
After seeing Octavia's jaw open and close several times, Vinyl spoke.
"Glad to have you join reality Octy," Vinyl stated with an unamused look on her face.
"I...er, huh?" Octavia managed to stammer, clamping a hoof over her mouth at the voice that came out.
Vinyl trotted over to the upturned couch, plucking the sunglasses that were laid haphazardly on the floor with her hoof. Walking over to an end table, she grabbed a CD delicately with her mouth so that it wouldn't scratch. She approached Octavia with the objects, the mare watching Vinyl's every move.
"First, this," Vinyl stated, placing the sunglasses over Octavia's eyes. "And then, this," she said, holding the reflective side of the CD towards Octavia.
Octavia stared at the reflection the small disc created for her. Instead of seeing, well, herself, she instead saw a white face with an unkempt electric blue mane and a pair of purple sunglasses. She didn't see herself, she saw Vinyl.
Octavia's jaw hit the ground, metaphorically speaking of course, at the sight. Vinyl lowered the disc and placed it aside.
"Ok, now that we both seem to be on the same page, are you ready to properly freak out now?" Vinyl asked.
"Yes..." Octavia answered distantly, "yes I think I am."
"Good, shall we?" Vinyl asked before clearing her throat.
Several seconds passed in silence, then..
"AHHHHH!"
"AHHHHH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
(And it looked something like this.)
"AAAAAHHHHHH-owwwwwwww...." Octavia groaned, pressing a hoof to her forehead. "Why does my head feel like somepony put a bucket over it and played the introduction to Hot For Teacher?"
"Well, I MAY have had a little too much to drink last night..." Vinyl answered softly, rubbing a hoof to the back of her head. "Wait, how do you know what that sounds like?"
"Ahem," Octavia cleared her throat. "That's not important," she said, avoiding the question. Looking around at the living room, what could only be described as a graveyard of alcohol surrounded her. "...how much did you drink?"
"Enough," was all that Vinyl said in response.
"...uh huh," Octavia answered flatly before sitting down.
"What, don't you drink to forget? Or is that too far below your high and mighty standards?" Vinyl said a little defensively.
"I do partake in some alcohol, but I don't binge drink. Unlike SOME," Octavia responded, her eyes narrowing at Vinyl. "Now I see why you live in such deplorable conditions. For somepony who talks of having bits thrown at them, I thought you'd live in a better place. But no, it seems that a standard of living comes second to your insatiable thirst for alcohol."
"Hey! You don't know what the hay I go through! Maybe sometimes I NEED a drink from time to time, like say when I get in a fight with an uptight cellist at a promotional event."
"Don't you get started with that! As arrogant as you are, I'm surprised I'm the first one to have thrown a punch at you."
"You aren't, but that's not important right now," Vinyl said, her eyes dropping to the ground.
Taking a deep breath, Octavia released it in a heavy sigh. "As much as I hate to admit it, you have a point. We need to figure out why we are in each others bodies, and fix it before other ponies find out."
"Yeah," Vinyl quietly agreed. "Wait, you said you drank from time to time, right?"
"I did, but what does that have to do with anything?"
"Was last night one of those times?" Vinyl asked, her voice becoming more and more excited.
"...yes, it was. I had a glass of wine before practicing my cello. But I don't see why that matters," Octavia answered with obvious annoyance in her voice.
"Octavia, stay with me on this. But what if, last night when we were both drunk-"
"I wasn't drunk!"
"What if, last night when we were drinking," Vinyl corrected flatly, to which Octavia only raised an eyebrow. "What if we somehow stumbled upon an alcoholic singularity that swapped our minds!"
"..."
"Do you think that's what happened?" Vinyl said, pacing around a little.
"Vinyl, can I answer that with another question?"
"Sure."
"Were you born this idiotic, or did you have to work for it?"
Vinyl glared at Octavia. "For your information, no I'm not stupid. And secondly, I don't see YOU coming up with any explanations for what happened."
"Somepony could have played a prank on us," Octavia offered.
"That would be one hell of a prank. I don't know of anypony with that kind of a magical ability, other than maybe the princesses or Celestia's student whats-her-face."
"Maybe it was a potion?" Octavia said, her argument growing weaker.
"Slipped in to our drinks?" Octavia nodded. "Possible, but probably not what happened."
"When did you become reasonable..." Octavia grumbled.
Vinyl sat down across from Octavia, the both of them trying to find a logical conclusion to the dilemma they were in. They sat there for what felt like hours, each coming up with a possible explanation that would immediately be shot down by the other. Finally after an hour of fruitless brainstorming, Vinyl's impatience came through.
"AH! What in the name of Luna happened to us!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
As soon as the sentence left her lips, a thunderous boom echoed through the room, scaring both of them. They immediately clung together in fear as dark clouds that came out of nowhere began to swirl and spread across Vinyl's ceiling. Wind from an unknown source began to whip around them, blowing loose pages of paper around the pair. Several more thunderous sounds boomed before all the curtains were drawn shut on their own and the lights flickered out. Finally, a dark form began to rise from the floor in front of the pair, who were now screaming at the top of their lungs.
The form was a shapeless mass of black, black as the night sky on a starless night. It rose a good head above the two cowering ponies before it began to change. Great wings unfurled themselves, extending to their full, magnificent length. A head rose from the middle, ending in a horn. The shape began to lighten in color before it became a midnight blue. Finally, in an unusual paradox, a flash of dark happened (you know, like when you flicker the lights off then on?) and before them stood a midnight blue alicorn. The two gaped up at her, unable to believe what they were seeing.
Princess Luna was there. Right in the middle of Vinyl's living room. And she was staring right at them.
Oh I always did know how to make an entrance. It was no jumping out of a bat guard pulled chariot to land in the middle of Ponyville's town square, but it was a dramatic one nonetheless. Still though, I wish I brought my cloak. There's hardly anything more awesome than a cloak that turns into bats. Though back when I was Nightmare Moon, the swirling mass of stars was a close second. Either way, my entrance did what it was supposed to; scare the living daylights out of them! Haha!
Princess Luna looked down at the pair, who were still staring slack-jawed and clinging to one another. A barely noticeable smile played across her lips, but was gone before anypony would notice.
"Good day, Vinyl Scratch and Miss Octavia," she said, the lack of her usual volume apparent. "I trust you are doing well?"
The two ponies just nodded wordlessly.
"Oh? You're doing just fine?" Luna asked, disbelief plain in her voice. "You don't feel a little bit...off? Shall we say?"
"Uhhh..." the both of them said in unison.
"Perhaps something isn't where it should be?" Luna offered.
"You...could say that," Octavia answered shakily.
"Yeah," Vinyl agreed. "We...don't exactly feel like ourselves today."
"Ah, then it worked then," Luna said in a satisfactory manner.
"Wait, what worked?" Vinyl asked.
"Oh nothing," Luna answered, inspecting a hoof nonchalantly. "Just a mind swapping spell we cast on the two of you while you were asleep is all."
...
"YOU WHAT!?" both Vinyl and Octavia yelled, all manner of politeness thrown out the window at the revelation. "You did this to us!?"
"We did," Luna answered
*THWACK*
"Oww," Vinyl said, rubbing her head. "What did you hit me for?"
"I TOLD you it was a prank!" Octavia yelled at her.
"Really Octavia, we just found out that the princess did this to us, and you're more concerned about winning an argument against me?" Vinyl said in annoyance. "It's glad to see that your priorities are in the right place."
"Whatever," Octavia said, dismissing Vinyl's statement. "So you did this to us?" Octavia asked, turning to face Luna.
"Mhmm," Luna responded.
"Ok, so how do we fix it?" Octavia asked impatiently.
"Oh that? That's easy," Luna said with an air of disinterest. "All it takes to break the spell is true love's first kiss."
Octavia's jaw dropped at this statement, and Vinyl, who had gotten up to stand next to her, only regarded this revelation with a look of obvious curiosity.
I hate to break up the flow of the story like this, but the looks on their faces were just too priceless to share! It took a lot of willpower to not burst out laughing at them! Hang on, I have a picture of it around here somewhere.
Let's see...
*CRASH*
Nope, that's not it.
*THUD*
Nope, not it.
*CLANG*
Why do I have an anvil in my closet?
*RAWR*
And on a similar note, how did Miss Rarity's cat get in my closet?
AH! Here we are.
Like I said, priceless! Anyways, let's get back to the story shall we?
The pair sat in stunned silence, looking at Princess Luna, waiting for the joke. The Princess just stared back at them, no hint of amusement in her eyes.
"Well, works for me," Vinyl said after a long silence. "Pucker up, Octavia."
"What!?" Octavia answered, obviously repulsed. "Why?"
"Didn't you hear, it's the only way to get back to normal."
"As I recall, she said TRUE LOVE. I don't love you. I don't even like you!"
"So?" Vinyl said before attempting to lean in for a kiss.
"Ugh, get away from me!" Octavia yelled, shoving the suddenly affectionate pony away.
"Come on Octavia, just one quick smooch," Vinyl answered, diving for the unicorn.
"No!" Octavia shrieked, turning tail and running away from Vinyl.
"COME BACK HERE AND LET ME LOVE YOU!" Vinyl yelled, her words a battle cry. She began to chase Octavia around the room, attempting to tackle the unicorn so she could deliver the mind swapping kiss. Octavia began to knock over objects, attempting to impede Vinyl's relentless chasing. Alas, it was futile, as Vinyl was able to corner the mare.
"nononononNO!" Octavia yelled, throwing her hooves to guard her face as Vinyl closed the gap between them.
"Just real quick, and it'll be over," Vinyl whispered soothingly, parting the mares hooves. Octavia began to shake her head back and forth, refusing to make eye contact with the crazed mare.
"Just...one...quick...kiss," Vinyl whispered, each word growing softer as her warm breath tingled Octavia's lips. Vinyl's lips were just centimeters away from Octavia's, where the slightest movement from either mare would cause the organs to brush against one another. Octavia was paralyzed, her forelegs pinned to the wall behind her by Vinyl and unable to move her head out of fear. She just swallowed hard and waited for the nightmare to be over.
Vinyl took her stillness as a concession and made the first contact, pressing her lips against the other mare's. While it was weird that she was technically kissing herself, it didn't really matter so long as they were returned to their own bodies. Then she would be kissing Octavia, something that, while she would never admit it to another living soul, was something she had given thought to several times.
Octavia on the other hoof sat through the entire ordeal, rigid as a board. She was inexperienced with this kind of intimate contact, having never before kissed or been kissed by another pony. Yet here she was, being kissed by herself but not herself. The thought of it made her sick, or what she thought was sickness. The movement of her stomach didn't make her feel any better than before.
After several seconds, the ordeal was over and Vinyl backed off. The two ponies stared at each other, the slightest hint of a blush showing through their coats. Both blinked at each other.
"Did it work?" Vinyl asked.
"No you idiot, you're still in my body," Octavia answered angrily.
"Darn," Vinyl said rubbing a hoof to her chin. "Maybe it wasn't long enough. Hold still Octavia, I'm giving this another go."
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Octavia yelled, darting from the wall and behind Princess Luna.
Vinyl looked at Octavia, ready to chase her again, before her eyes shifted to Princess Luna, who seemed to be trying very hard to...not laugh? Puzzled, Vinyl stood up from her crouched position and gave a questioning look to the Princess.
Luna couldn't take it anymore.
"BAHAHA! OH OUR SIDES!" she bellowed, the Royal Canterlot Voice shining through in all it's outdated glory. "THE TWO OF YOU ART TRULY TOO MUCH!"
"What are you talking about?" Octavia asked, creeping out from behind the alicorn.
Attempting to suppress her laughter, Luna answered after a couple of seconds. "We cannot believe the two of you fell for it. The old 'true love's first kiss' prank! Tis a classic!" Luna answered, wiping a mirthful tear from her eye.
"Wait, so kissing Octavia doesn't fix it? THEN WHAT DOES!?"
"Ah, now we shall give you the real fix," Luna answered. Octavia and Vinyl sat in front of the mare, eagerly awaiting for the answer to their problem.
"The two of you will not switch back until you garner a full appreciation for one another," Luna stated with a tone of seriousness. "You will have to live the lives of the other as they would, and continue to do so until you realize that there is more to them than you thought there was."
The two mares sat at rapt attention, not attempting to interrupt the Princess.
"You may be wondering why we did this. The answer is simple really; the two of you have potential to be great friends, yet it is your shortsightedness that prevents this friendship from blooming. So I took matters into my own hooves, to provide the means for the two of you to know the other."
"Wait," Vinyl interrupted, "you mean to tell me that you switched our bodies and caused us great trauma and difficulty, just to force us to be friends? I'm sorry Princess, BUT YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY INSANE!"
"You could think of it like that," Luna responded. "Or you could call this your punishment for not only disrupting one of the most important musical events of the year, but also for assault and battery of another pony. If you want, I could swap the two of you back right now and let you serve jail time for such an act, in the process garnering so much bad press that your careers would be virtually over, as nopony wants that kind of a performer for anything. At least with the arrangement we have so far, your careers are virtually intact, and I have stopped press release of the debacle at the convention so that nopony outside knows what happened. So what will it be?"
"...I'll take the forced body change..." Vinyl grumbled.
"Excellent," Luna replied happily. "Now there are some rules that must be followed, or the two of you will be forcibly swapped back and punished. Firstly, you must not tell anypony that you are in different bodies. Secondly, you must not do anything damaging to the other physically, emotionally, or to their career. The spell has its own judgement for what is damaging and what isn't. And lastly, you must spend time together at least once every other day, to tell the other what happened to you since the last time you spoke. Now, are there any questions?"
Vinyl raised a hoof, which Princess Luna acknowledged with a nod.
"Princess, I have one that's been bugging me since this thing started. If Octy and I were to bang right here, right now...would it be gay? Or the highest form of clopping possible?"
Princess Luna facehoofed, while Octavia took the liberty of smacking Vinyl upside the head.
"Are there any serious questions?" Luna asked flatly.
"Just one," Octavia asked. "What do we do now?"
"That? Tis simple, Miss Octavia. Now you two need to teach the other how to act. You only have a day before the two of you start the lives of the other. Better learn all you can," Luna said with a wink. Princess Luna's horn then began to glow brightly, before the alicorn disappeared in a loud *POP*, leaving two stunned mares alone in the room.
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Finally had time to finish this chapter. Hope you all like it, because it took some valuable free time to do dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_sad.png
Also, is it wrong that I think of the jokes first, then write the rest of the story around them? Nah, it's all good dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_lazy.png
Now to drown myself in music dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_chair.png
i absolutely love this, and cant wait to see more.
1323355
this is absolutely the most hilarious fic i've read all month.
if you're gonna keep this up, you'd better be ready to pay the medical bill for my broken ribs!
I wish alicorns didn't have sv_cheats 1 on.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl2.png
Ah, the brilliance. It will be fun to see how their relationship develops over time...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
Oh, the adventures to come.
you know thats a really good question, too bad we will never see the answer to that
Who else is up for seeing Luna get bitch-slapped? The fuck kind of place are they living in, Airstrip 1? "OOOO, I think I'll rip your soul out and shove it in a different body! And then I'll laugh at and prank you while intimidating and blackmailing you! Hehehehehe!"
Luna, don't ever change. You are perfect.
Heh, this is going to be an interesting ride I think. I wonder how Octavia's surprising fighting skills might come in handy while stuck in Vinyl's night club djing body while I wonder how long before Vinyl tries to spice up a classic in middle of a concert.
1323576
That is the greatest thing anyone has ever said to me in the history of everything ever ever
1323856
It's technically gay, as there are two different bodies. Just thought I would give you some closure on that dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png
1323732
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7589-13077.gif
Brilliant
just brilliant dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Ah the old Gay vs super clop question....
Takes me back to when this story was still in the "awesome idea" phase :D
1325441
..you mean...it's not awesome anymore?
1088687
Third chapter's up. Your move mate.
MOAR
MOAR
MOAR
MOAR
Okay, the whole, "COME BACK HERE SO I CAN LOVE YOU!" is now my favorite catchphrase, gotta use it from now on.
Great chapter, a lot of LOLs,
, now MOAR dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
1323355
1325510 I mean that it's moved from awesome idea, to awesome story
you used the correct item and it evolved dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
1328796
The correct item is beer?
1328805 yes, but liquor first dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png
1324628
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/291/772/d66.gif
1324615
i'm glad to hear that my compliment was taken to heart! this truly is a gut-bustingly funny story, i'm going to enjoy following this immensely.
1324189
It's all in the name of friendship!
1326612
Holy crap, pony jazz! I haven't heard jazz since I was in my high school jazz band (I was a trumpet player).
Vinyl raises a good question. Thoughts?
I see what you did there.
Was that "Come back here and let me love you" from Opus/Outland?
1335719
I wouldn't mind a parody chapter of that.
"'Princess, I have one that's been bugging me since this thing started. If Octy and I were to bang right here, right now...would it be gay? Or the highest form of clopping possible?'" Absolute gold! Can't wait for the next chapter.
1336194
Actually, I got it from this
static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Let+me+love+you+.+Let+him+love+you_242e87_3928284.gif
1354997
All dem broken links. FUckin' funny junk.
1355537
I know, I wish there was a more reliable source for the gif =/
postmediaprovince.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/7485.singularity-logo_copy.jpg
DUN DUN DUUUUUN!
Aww...
I can't see the picture Luna showed.
c'mon 2000 views
Both.
3519277
Hey! It's not gay if you're doing yourself.
Shit now I have to learn the Cello (In real life I really want to do)
1323600 SHPEE
pre02.deviantart.net/7179/th/pre/f/2012/021/2/5/i_just_don__t_know_what_went_wrong_by_zicygomar-d4n7f0x.png
I can't ,
Hahahaha hahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAH