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Lyn_Prayre 12430

Joined November 2011
64 followers

    Lyn_Prayre's Stories (1)

    • Opportunity of a Lifetime
      A pegasus Ponyville in the hopes of a new life, but his past catches up with him...

      130,238 words · 4,373 views · 270 likes · 15 dislikes
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    Author's Note: Opportunity of a Lifetime is slowly being edited chapter by chapter. The story won't change, but there will be a different writing style.


    Prologue


    The sun is shining and the birds are chirping in the beautiful city of Manehatten. The town is bustling with activity with the local townsponies walking across the city streets, with each and every one of its residents doing something friendly and productive in the city. At least, that is what it was like in the richer parts of the city.

    Then there was Old Manehattan, where jobs were fewer, crimes were common and residents were more aggressive. This is the part of the city where the poorer members of Manehatten stay, the slums, if you will. Inside these slums was a younger stallion by the name of Dusk Shard. He is currently living inside one of the many cheaper apartments that scatter the area. He had migrated from the town of Las Pegasus about two weeks ago, in the hopes of getting a job from the multiple openings listed in the 'Equestria Daily'. But in the time it took him to move all the way from town to town, most of these openings were already filled. The only opening left was available for him was for the Manehatten Postal and well...

    “Ah, so there is an opening at the Manehatten Postal in here; the very same role I applied for last week. I pity the pony who fills that new role, I really do..."

    He ended up quitting early, since the work conditions at the post office were just horrible. Not wanting to dwell on his previous work, he continues to read through the newspaper, when an ad captures his attention.

    “Hmm, so there is an opening as a waiter at the Spinning Fork. Interesting.”

    He continued to read the information that was provided below the header. The more he read, the more happy he had gotten. All of the information about the job seemed to fit perfectly into his preferences. There was one detail however, that halted any drive to work at this restaurant.

    "So it's in Cloudsdale."

    Dusk shudders as he recalls his past in the cloud city. He couldn't go back there, he had far too many unpleasant memories of that town for him to go back there. He shook these thoughts away from his mind as he brings his attention back to the paper in front of him. He skims through page after page of job applications, none of which turning up with anything good, until he saw a small header for a suitable job on the very last page.

    Weather Control

    We are seeking pegasi capable of weather control.

    Needed for general weather maintenance.

    Needs excellent communication skills.

    Contact Mayor Mare in Ponyville Town Hall

    Mon-Fri 9:30am - 4:30pm

    Dusk couldn't help but to give the article a curious look, since this job seems to be almost tailored to his specialties, but he had to travel all the way to Ponyville to possibly get said job. He remembers seeing a few other openings for Ponyville, but this one in particular piqued his interests.

    "So... this is one of the few times I've ever seen an opening for a weather pony, but why does it have to be all the way at Ponyville?" He takes a furtive glance out of the window of his apartment, and sees the gray, drab surroundings around him. He then takes a look inside his own apartment, and sees the things he had come to expect. Bland, white walls, a stained cream carpet, and very few furnishings. He had to admit, he kind of hated the apartment he rented. The thought of leaving Manehatten became tempting...

    He then remembered his current predicament, he was in a new city, with no job, and only enough bits to last him for a few more weeks.

    'Ugh, I need time to think.'

    He walked into the bathroom (which was as boring as the rest of the apartment) and turns on the shower, making sure the water was sufficiently warm before entering. From there, he washed his dark blue coat, and short brown mane and tail with the appropriate toiletries, until he thought he was clean. He grabbed a towel with his hooves, and started to dry himself. He took a quick look into a mirror, and could see his topaz-like eyes looking back at him. They then slide to his cutie mark, which was a shield with two red horizontal line laying on top of an otherwise yellow shield.

    When he had finished drying himself, he made the decision to leave Manehatten, and travel to Ponyville. He seemed to take it in his stride, as he took to packing everything he had into a pair of saddlebags. Fortunately for him, he traveled light.

    Taking everything of his out of the apartment, he walked out of the room, and gave no second thoughts to staying in the town. He had already considered his options, 'Stay, and hope I may get a new job within a month, or move, and travel to a small town with multiple other opportunities.' and he almost immediately decided on the latter, since the city life seemed to be doing nothing for him.

    'This could be the opportunity of a lifetime.'


    Comments ( 10 )

    #1 · 70w, 3d ago · · ·
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    : So far so good.:twilightsmile:

    #2 · 68w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I can't read present tense stories... they irk me.  Looks good but i can't hang.:applejackunsure:

    #3 · 52w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I remember reading this chapter. Boy, it was a long time ago. I almost forgot it. I'm thinking about reading it again to regain momentium. Time for nostalgia!

    Times a-wastin'!

    #4 · 40w, 1d ago · · ·
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    *Looks at feature box*

    "Hmm, this seems like a good read."

    *Le click*

    *Looks at premise*

    "Seems promising."

    *looks at chapter amount*

    :pinkiegasp::moustache:

    #5 · 40w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Uhhhh, huhuhuhuh! Nope, nope, nope!

    I can see that the grammar all needs work, but if I am thinking right, that also means that the message saying that all chapters are being edited, means that it will change to look better.

    Other than that, seems a bit weird that he would freak out for a job like that.

    #6 · 40w, 2m ago · · ·
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    >>1101252 I know you've un-favourited this story already, but I do a bit of work on the chapter. (Now to eventually do the rest of them :ajbemused:)

    Huzzah for constructive criticism. :pinkiesmile:

    #7 · 38w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Still a few tense issues which is why I ended up skipping over this story the first time.  Looks a thousand times better and now, low and behold, glorious love inbound. :twilightsmile:

    :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    (only four staches because the tense errors of the past still haunt me to this day)

    #8 · 29w, 2d ago · · ·
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    you know, if you need it, I could proofread the edits :twilightsmile:

    #9 · 29w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1540219 Sure, I'm fine with you doing that. :pinkiesmile: The edits will be released in chunks though. (A few chapters at a time)

    #10 · 29w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1540536 I'd like to help too can't do much on my phone though

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