Perhaps I should have Twi preread my -- no, wait, that wouldn't work at all, would it?

There are few questions in life more frustrating than "How do I tell her?"  [Substitute other pronouns as needed.] I like the idea that Dash came up with a method that didn't make her look like she was going to facehoof at any moment.  Love, after all, is supposed to embolden us.

TL;DR, Thumb-Down, Reported

Bravo my good sir, bravo! Short, but very sweet, I loved it.

>>10710721071072

Annnd the point of that was?

Well done, i enjoyed it :) i'm sure knighty would.

Another very sweet story....made me smile when Twilight finally figured things out. =p

>>10711681071168

Srsly? He's my boyfriend IRL.

I like the recent surge of Twidash recently, and this story is no exception

I see this when it's added to the Twidash group, instead of my watches. Time to watch. And add to 'read later'

BOREDOM IS A WONDROUS THING!

... Was there a point to me posting this?

I THINK NOT! HAVE A FACEHOOF! IT IS HOW I FEEL AT THE CURRENT MOMENT OF MY STUPIDITY IN THIS COMMENT!

Adorable.

For a second there i thought this was gonna end up being a story written by Twilight.

Truly amazing story very immersive, and yet not too long.

Here, have a YAY

phenomenal... nuff said

awesome

>>10711931071193

Bitch I know you ain't talkin bout my man! My boo woukdnt touch yo nasty ass scrotum with a ten foot pole!

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3vl4kcfTH1qbs1cu.gif

Oh my Celestia, was this a great story! <3 <3 <3

You felt everything thorugh every little sentence and this version of Dash being a hopeless romantic and insecure of it was so great presented, same with Twi´s helpful and though first oblivious slowly understanding pattern when reading the bits of the story from Dash to the readers was also great.

The last line of Dash´s fic was awesome and their kiss in the fic itself was awesome too! The whole fic was awesome!

A really good story for a quick read, i enjoyed it alot. Thanks.

Very cute, my upvote! I think Twilight caught on far too quickly, just from the way she remember Haypenny's eyes were never said to be purple. But all in all, cute story!

That was just too damn adorable. Bravo, sir!

DAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

>>10711931071193

not like i was being mean to you, not like i can tell if he is your boyfriend or not...

*clap* bravo good sir!

Well, now you pretty much have to write Daring Do and Haypenny.

No excuses!

Or you could have Rainbow and Twilight do it for you, but then you have to write them doing it. Writing that is.

>>10725831072583

Awww, shit! This thug got some mad spitx goin'. Betta watch mah FB for hatemail...

>>10728251072825

Oh come off it, you~ I was just trolling

Why did it take me so long to see this? I loved it though. FUZZY FEELINGS TO ALL!!

Dude...  That's two TwiDash's in a row that I liked!  and after HATING so may others, this is amazing!  += (this time)

>>10711121071112 wat

The plot was pretty predictable. And yet, I can't wipe the dawwwwwww off of my face.

Faved.

>>10732371073237

The plot was meant to be predictable. I basically summed up the entire little story in the description. It was a request from one of my watchers saying "Write a TwiDash romance please."

Glad you liked it though.

All the yay   Enjoyed it. though i.m.o pinkiedash/rainbowpie is where its at.  

overall a good read.  I'll enjoy seeing what else you can do in the future

Image: https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRVHH3rzXcG2zK33dhYS1j0O13-nhXLLue38ZoJRPx7ofuNQXHn3Q

Damn, keep on writing. I WANNA SEQUEL!

When I first saw the story, I was skeptical, but upon reading it, it turned out to be really good. My only notice, however, is Twilight's reaction. Unless she had feelings for Rainbow beforehand, she didn't seem very flustered, nor did she seem to take much time in deciding whether she liked her back or not. It sounded like Twilight did like Rainbow before, but it was a little [adjective not found] when she responded.

Have a thumb.

This story was indeed very predictable, but that didn't matter at all.

I loved this story very much.

Found one tiny mistake you might want to fix though:

Rainbow's pessimistic thoughts kept her occupied for a while as the clocked ticked away.

Keep up the great work!

Finally!! A Twilight who isnt a complete naive idiot when it comes to this! Took long enough for me to find one... Anyway, this story was short and sweet! I liked it alot!

This story is very cute. I like the idea of Rainbow trying to confess her feelings this way and Twilight not being too thick to realize that the story was about the two of them. This is really high quality stuff and has given me feels that have uplifted my spirits. I am now watching you and await more great stories.

So much D'aww.

Can you build onto this?  Write more!

Aww, that was really cute. I've always had a soft spot for TwiDash.

D`AAAAWWWWWW I NEVER KNEW RAINBOW COULD BE SO ROMANTIC

Not sure if like. It seemed a bit rushed to me. And Twi's reaction wasn't at all what I expected. Did she like Rainbow before and didn't say anything because it seemed like she didn't really have much of a reaction. Other than that good fic. Not gonna up or down vote for reasons mentioned before. Have a good day!

*read* Where's the clop?

and then they fuck... giggity giggity

4 and 1/2 out of 5. Trollestia counts as half for intentionally being predictable.

>>10743551074355

Dangit! Thanks, will fix that now.

I like it, may i read this on my youtube channel? plz pm me back

>>10741161074116

PinkieDash is my favorite ship.

>>10756781075678

You can on the strict condition that you give me the link when you're done.

>>10747021074702

In all honesty, it was rushed. I posted a blog saying I'd write the first request I got. The guy said "TwiDash Love Story!"

Three hours into writing and this was pretty much done. My editor actually got me to flesh out what I originally had quite a bit, he even added a few paragraphs of his own.

>>10744171074417

Thank you very much, I definitely appreciate that.

I will give you link after posted, thank you very much for letting me read it  on youtube

Nice story, man! Yeah, it seems rushed near the middle, but not too terribly.

TwiDash needs to stop being so darned adorable. This is the most adorable of things. The most.

Oh, the feels.... they are great in number.

In my most eloquent of words:

HHHHHHNNNNNGGGGG

Wow!  That dropped like a ton of bricks!

So cute! You've warmed up my heart this cold morning.

I stumbled a bit over this part

Rainbow backed up and took on a serious tone.

Anyway, that was wonderful. Keep it up!

Twidash is best shipping, and this my friend proves it. Awesome story!

Cudos this was a vary cute little story

and now to Continue my Adventure of another story GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!

Very cute! Better than some romance fanfics that are way longer than this one.

>>10725831072583

I enjoyed that comment about 5,000,000.04x more than the actual story itself

have a free internet

>>10770351077035

>>10771081077108

dont cry

not even the ultimate of the best can compete with dat sass

we are all way out of our league

Katatakat for CEO of ponies

oh rainbow you don't have to hide your feelings from twilight

Hah, of course I would love a story where proofreading a fanfic is at the heart of it. Though so far I haven't detected any romantic advances in the stories I've proofread.

>>10774221077422

Well duh, that's because you aren't looking deep enough.

Looks a bit closer at the stories... "Is that? No, it couldn't... be... ...nah!"

Short and sweet. Good way to go.

Cool story bro.

>>10780721078072

Cool picture, bro.

>>10781581078158

Danke. God bless the internet.

I liked the idea behind this story, and the story itself as well of course

Lol!

"In that case, I regret nothing. Now, let's go have an adventure of our own..."

That line made me go "YES!" for some reason. Can you find out what it is?

Anyway, VERY nice story man. It was amazing to watch twilight become more and more aware of the situation then this paragraph:

Twilight beamed, turning her eyes back to the writing. "Great! I'm positive that, with a little effort, this could make for a really amazing story! I have to confess though..." She paused, her hoof tapping her chin. "Why did you choose Haypenny? And where did the purple eyes come from? I mean, she has a green coat, I don't think purple would really be the most natural color to go... oh."

Then this line shortly after:

"You're using these characters, aren't you? Daring Do is you, and Haypenny is... me." Twilight blushed and looked down. "Am I right?"

Dash: "NOPONY SEES THE WIZARD!" *flees*(that should be some sort of alternate story write there XD, just kidding.)

Anyway those lines made me laugh. Twilight finally understanding and then her usual awkwardness. This was awesome. 5 brostaches.

Cute little story. >w< Very nice.

One of the most adorable things I've read in weeks. You win again!

Very cute ! the plot was kinda unexpected, which pleased me ^^

It was fast and the end a bit cliché (but I like that sorta thing), but I know it was meant to be a short short story =)

Very cute pairing also.

Faved !

It was cliche, yet not cliche at the same time... -head explodes-

IMHO: Spitfire is best pony, because fighter plane for a name.

TwiDash is best ship, because HHNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG the adorables are overwhelming!

Oh God, right in the HNNNGGG.

*raps fingers on desk*  I'm honestly not sure why I even read this.  I guess pure curiosity?  Simply seeing what's been showing up in the Featured box lately, I've been curious to see why certain things keep trending.  I'm not a big shipper and I don't really like RD at all.

But still, I read it--so I owe you a critique, at least.  Let's see what I can say.

Well, from a purely technical standpoint, you get top marks.  I don't think I saw any errors--which means if there are any, they are indeed very minor.  Moving to style.  A little name heavy in your dialogue tags.  Not terrible, but a few more pronouns would've served you well.  Also, and this is more a personal nitpick probably, being so action heavy with your dialogue tags is a little unpleasant to the eye.  Still though, they are not done incorrectly, so I guess whatever you prefer.

So I didn't really enjoy it, but I didn't hate it or anything.  No thumb up or down here.  I don't feel like I wasted my time, at least--there were a few VERY good lines here, so *applauds* for you.  It did make me grin and get the occasional 'd'aww'.  But overall?  The emotions are too quick, too linear, too forced.  There's some Out Of Character issues, though generally you do fine.  But I can't stress it enough: this developed waaaay too fast.  So it sounds hollow and pointless, defeating the story's existence.  

You could've really played around a bit more, had a little more subtlety, and therefore more believability and depth.  As it stands, I almost did a double take--you mean to tell me, Twilight--the pony who didn't really have friends until pretty much marehood--figured out Dash's plan that fast?  Sure, Dash isn't the most cunning of ponies...but, that's just stretching the imagination too far, I think.  And I get it's supposed to be a moment, a short one-shot, but Twi just jumps right into it?  Right into a passionate kiss?  Too fast, and therefore distasteful and uninteresting.  If there's no work for it, I don't see the purpose in caring.

Still though, as I said, you had some parts that were just fantastic and full of emotion and heart.  I didn't hate the piece, I just didn't like it.  So I welcome you your success and good luck in your future endeavors!  'Til the next.

Image: http://forum.sbrforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=35937&d=1325367626

May the Grace of the Valar Protect You

Shire Folk

I can tell when I'm reading a good story when my heart flutters, I breath deeply and smile goofily and bite my lip. And that's EXACTLY what happened when I was reading your story. Bravo, my friend, bravo!

At first I was like

Then I was like

Then I was like

And I finished off with a I wub wis story!

twidash love fics...twidash love fics everywhere

I agree with Peregrine Caged. It was way too rushed to be believable, and as such I couldn't really care about it.

Still, it wasn't outright bad. The concept, "write a book for the egghead", was a sickeningly cute one and probably the kind of thing Dash (now with extreme reading action!) would do. Twilight's instantaneous acceptance was what brought it down. 3/5. No thumb either way.

Short, sweet, and adorable. You have been granted a moustache

I loved this. Twi and Dash are a little out-of-character, as mentioned above, but this is cute and well-written enough for me to suspend my disbelief.

D'aww.

I wub it.

That is all.

Journcy Out.

... Oh mah lord. I teared up at the last line in Dashie's fic So adorable!

i really enjoyed n_n

Fanfiction, in Pony Fanfiction?

Fanficception.

There are some times when I wish I could make that adorable little 'squeak'-ish sound when I smile.

You know the one... It sortof sounds like a rubber duck.

Anyway, upon reading the last line of Dashie's fic, this was one of those times. Excellent work, Mate.

This is Australia...

>>10719341071934

Then why did you even post it?

Loved it. Brilliant.

Now, off to another adventure!

It deeply saddens me that anyone could bring themselves to click Dislike on this amazing piece of work. This (to me) seems like something an enamored Dash would attempt to win the heart of her favorite Egghead. This was an amazing read and a part of me wishes there was more to it...hm, Perhaps I could do my own Fan continuation.

>>10833061083306

I would love it if you did your own fan continuation.

>>10833211083321 Then this is what I must do -Opens Notepad-

I have tried this. And it failed.

Still attempting.

At least Twilight is smart and caught on eventually. Great job. I could relate and enjoyed every bit of it.

GOLD thats what this waz gold great job