Anti-Brony? i dont know the meaning. No im kidding Cool story Brony

Fascinating idea, i would honestly like to see, how it comtinues, let's see, what it goes...

This is amazing. Well written, and exciting.

Promising. Waiting warmly for more.

A fine piece of work ol' chap !

Edit : When will the next chapter come out ?

MOAR!

>>10738151073815 Right now!

Nice story man. You managed to be cruel, but not inflicting any deaths.

Wait...Pinkie's here, so the elements won't work !

I half expected 2 Jugs blast through the wall with BIG ass machine gun's

>>OnxyElite: Sorry to disappoint you.

Nice man, he knows how to escape.

Hmmm, nice concept of a story, somewhat original I suppose (Don't even know though, god why are there so many damn HiE stories nowadays?) Anyways, that's not what I'm here for.

Criticism time!

First off: Even though the story is a neat idea and all, as a new writer you must now this rule. Start a new paragraph every time someone new speaks.

Ex:

"Whoa! Pinkie Pie, huh?" "Look, I don't like it anymore than those bronies, alright? You're the only one I trust to this." "Have I let you down before? A'course, I'm gonna need some....erm...incentive?" I just rolled my eyes. "Yeah yeah..." I pulled 10 bits out of my pocket and slammed it on the table. He pocketed them and smiled. "Pleasure doing buisness with you. I'll have your outfit ready in about...2 hours. It depends on if my co-worker will co-operate."

Should be turned into:

"Whoa! Pinkie Pie, huh?"

"Look, I don't like it anymore than those bronies, alright? You're the only one I trust to this."

"Have I let you down before?" etc. etc.

Bright side is you at least haven't done the worst of the worst and gone with a wall of text. Also, there are grammar issues that need to be worked out, but as a new writer, I can forgive that since I had the exact same problems when I started out.

Second Problem: The story is way too rushed. First the character is being chased by ponies to be converted into a brony, then he's suddenly in his friend's place to get some type of disguise, then in canterlot, then back in another safe room. Granted, this takes place over the course of three 'chapters' (We'll get to that soon.), but it still feels way too weird and rushed as not a lot of stuff happens between the chapters and such.

Third Problem: Short Chapters. Yeah, you guessed it. Again, you're not really explaining a lot that's going on in the story. How did the bronies take over Earth? How did they get in contact with Equestria or even know it existed? Another thing is that you say its 2092. So the show has been popular for 82 years straight? People kept demanding more and more of it or something that it created a large enough movement of bronies to be able to take over the world with ease? (I assume). There's a lot of background information you could be telling us that not only could make the chapters longer, but make the readers more interested in how the world works.

Fourth Problem: How easy it is to get through the portal. Really? You just mention the mane six and you can get in with absolutely no trouble? So by this logic, I can go up to the White House with a LMG under one arm and a RPG perched over my shoulder and say I know the President on a personal level, and the guards there would let me in with no problem. Sorry to break it to ya, but the guards are employed to keep the portal safe and to make sure nobody who is dangerous can get through, so stating that "I know the mane six" wouldn't do crap in a real situation.

I would keep going on, but I'll stop here because I don't wish to be too mean. Anyways, I'm not writing this to be an asshole and all, but to help you get better and such. Also, visit this group: Proofreaders and People willing to proof-read. The entire point of this group is to help new writers out with their most basic problems, and essentially to help your story become a lot better. Hope this helps, and hope to see this story improve.

@Poodicus: Thank you for your advice, and yes, I know it's rather rushed. I have a limited schedule, ect ect...

I appreciate the critism as well. Thank you.

I think I'll upload a chapter about what happened in the 82 year span up to today. It does seem a little....unrealistic, but that's just the setting of the story. And the whole thing about the portals. Yes, I know, it's like coming up to the white house and saying you're the president's friend.

But I'll be honest. The Mane 6 are the most famous ponies (besides Celestia and Luna of course), and I didn't think it'd be too much to know them, or at least have them as a contact. Plus, he was dressed as a heavy fan of the show, and even dressed like Pinkie, so it would've been quite easy to trick the guards. Plus, Austin isn't stupid enough not to conceal his weapons around guards.

Thank you for your opinions and advice, they are much appreciated.

YES! AN UPDATE! This chapter was awesome.

I can't wait to see the next few chapters.

HOLY FIRIDAY PIZZAS ON A SPATULLA EATING PASTA WHILE WATCHING PASGUETIA AND LISTENING TO MAMAMIA !

So apparently, Austin isn't the last Anti-Brony after all.... now why does that seem familiar to me...

>>12374871237487 You must be thinking of candies : When you eat the last one, you're like aawww...BUT just before all hope seems lost, you find 3 more candies inside you're bag !!!

True story

In the next chapter this plays as the anti-bronies escape the Mane 6!

Odd thing is I'm a non brony but I wanna see more fanfics like this

I can imagine how a chase scene is going to be

Man no wonder being stealthy can be scary moment your seen your heart skips a beat.

dude.... Fucking nice story man. Please continue.

TAKE THE SHOT!

ahhhh shit, austin pussied out of his imminent victory. But, shit happens.

I dont know. i'd prob ask them to just kill me knowing im too weak to kill my Enemy's most skilled fighters

The chapter title is right for sure.

Very interesting -- this has gone down some roads I didnt forsee...

I support X -- I just do not support being forced to support X.  I can relate.

THIS STORY WAS THE SHEEEEEIIIIT!!! YOU GOT A WATCHER HOMEBRONY!!

Dang, this story was fucking epic. Epiligue maybe?

IT'S OVER?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Anyways, good ending.

You know -- I have the feeling that absolutely NOTHING has changed in the world except the point of view of the main character.  The initial bronyfication of the main character actually did work, and this is a very tragic story of him actually ending up a pony when that is the very last thing he would have wanted.  In essence the tyrants trying to take over the Earth won.

>>13189511318951 Perhaps I should explain this. I do agree with you on one note, yes, the 'tyrants' did officially take over Earth-realm, but they were never the bad guys.

The Anti's were the ones who were bad in the first place, because they would've just killed any pony they saw, so it was a nessessary measure in order to protect her (Princess Celestia's) people.

So in all honesty, this was more of a tale of the Antagonist's POV, not the Protagonist. Austin was always the main bad guy in this story. But when he heard that the ones he trusted had turned against him, he switched sides.

Yes, I know, it seems a bit confusing, but this is just how I meant the story to be played out. I wanted the readers to think Austin was really the good guy, only to find out he was really the bad guy all along.

Actually as much of a brony as I am, I can not really see Equestria as good guys either in this version of Equestria.  Anyone who forcibly, willingly, and without repentance denies free will can not be on the good side.  This is not to say Austin was a good guy either.  

>>13191411319141 Might I also add, at this point, about 90-95% of the world were bronies to begin with, so that's how they took over so easily.

Ahhh the tyranny of the majority.  Such has happened in the history of the world.  

However the ease is not the point -- If anything ease makes it worse.  Since Celestia/Luna did NOT give the anti-bronies an option and instead forcibly bronified them, They are in the wrong.  

The only real solution I can think of would have been to give them a country or even another world if any exist, and retain ties -- meaning dis-satisfied people or even ponies -- could go over to new australia or such and if any children of new australia wanted to come to the rest of the world they could as well.

>>13195301319530 I understand, and yes, it seems a little...fractured. But it's really not something I thought about all the way through.

Thanks for reading it anyways.

This is different, raw and fun.  I like it.

"138 bits, an old Wal-Mart receipt, a phone number I forgot, and an old candy bar. At least I wouldn't starve. I pulled the candy bar out. Crispy Crunch. Okay I guess I was gonna starve."  

LOL

So much epic lines!

ONE! DAY! :applebloom:

The first Fanfiction I read. God, I love this story.

>>25783122578312 Thank you for picking mine!