1. Member Since 14th Nov, 2011
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Seether00


Reads at the speed of lightning. Writes at the speed of molasses.


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Applejack gets an unwelcome visit from the Equestrian Revenue Service. Handed a large tax bill and limited time to pay, Applejack comes up with a creative use of the farm's biggest asset.

No, not the apple trees.

Why Big Macintosh of course.  

Can Big Mac save Apple Bloom's college fund?

Read and find out.

Now with dramatic readings!

Reading 1

and

Reading 2

Featured on Equestria Daily 8-25-2012

Credit for the cover art goes to cassie-chan55

First Published
13th Aug 2012
Last Modified
13th Aug 2012
#1 · 128w, 1d ago · · ·

I :rainbowlaugh:

#3 · 128w, 1d ago · · ·

Dude! this is amazing so far! i would have never thought about writing a fic about taxes, that's hilarious. Keep it up.

#4 · 128w, 1d ago · · ·

That was funny.

TAB
#5 · 128w, 1d ago · · ·

That was hilarious :rainbowlaugh:

And only one grammatical error! You should do a sequel

#6 · 128w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm actually incredibly interested in what would happen in Fluttershy's no longer repressed party :moustache:

#7 · 128w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

I like how you actually explained why Applejacks royal connections could not just make the problem go away.

#8 · 128w, 23h ago · · 2 ·

Meh, really predictable. It was a bit funny, I suppose. The writing didn't kill me.

#9 · 128w, 23h ago · · ·

Things occur more than happen, but it was funny and I liked your characterisations.:pinkiesmile:

#10 · 128w, 23h ago · · ·

Im a man of few words sooo, *Ahem* OMG LOL:rainbowlaugh:

#11 · 128w, 22h ago · · ·

This is literally one of the funniest stories Iv'e had the pleasure to read in a long while, very good sir.

#12 · 128w, 22h ago · · ·

>>1080559

Thanks, the section on taxes was my favorite bit when putting the story together. I just think that a lot of humor can be had with bureaucracy and I figured Equestria must have someway of generating revenue.  

>>1080667

I felt pointing out why the Princess couldn't just intervene was important. I have a read a number of stories, where I have asked, why didn't they just contact the Princess and have her fix this? Also, the whole land income thing was pulled from something i heard in a history class.

#13 · 128w, 22h ago · · ·

>>1081229

Thank you good sir, your comment is much appreciated. Odd what pops into one's mind in the middle of night. I swear this idea wouldn't leave until I got it written. I must be mad. :pinkiecrazy:

#14 · 128w, 22h ago · · ·

"And Ah don wanna dip into our savings, that’s Applebloom’s college fund right there."

I would have honestly not included this line.  It makes all of the drama of the tax issue pointless if AJ has the ability to pay now and owe herself.

#15 · 128w, 22h ago · · ·

That ending...

Karma. Karma, karma, karma.

>>1080613

There were at least five, but I was amused enough to overlook them.

#16 · 128w, 21h ago · · ·

:I Applejack. Run. RUN!!! :rainbowderp:

#17 · 128w, 21h ago · · ·

>>1081306 I personally think that sets a sort of grounds for why Applejack doesn't want to give the money away. But that's just me.

#18 · 128w, 21h ago · · ·

>>1081306

Usually a savings like that is something that has been building for several years with money you had left to spare after the rest of expenses. Meaning that dipping into it it would likely never be as much as it once was or what it could have been.

#19 · 128w, 21h ago · · ·

THis has the best use for Snowflake I have ever seen.

#20 · 128w, 21h ago · · ·

>>1081260

The land Income thing is sort of how the British royalty works.

The crown owns alot of land but they allow that land to be used by the government in return for this the government pays them so much a year.

#21 · 128w, 20h ago · · ·

I see the ERS is not so different from our Eternal Revenue Service.

And oh, what libidos these ponies have!  No wonder the Shipping Department is always busy.  (Sorry, I'm having too much fun with this story.)

#22 · 128w, 20h ago · · ·

>>1081321

Five+ errors. why?! :raritydespair: I swear I went over the document at least six times, damn it! :flutterrage:

Oh well. :twilightsheepish:

>>1081306

>>1081558 >>1081498

You are both correct, Applejack wouldn't want those savings depleted, plus many college funds have penalties for early withdrawal.

>>1081628

Come to think of it, the history lesson may have been on the British, or at least Shakespeare.

>>1081563

Thank you, I have a soft spot for Snowflake and wish he was used more often.

#23 · 128w, 20h ago · · ·

is anyone interested in fics of pony metalheads?

#24 · 128w, 20h ago · · ·

>>1081973

Actually, I have a fic in the planning stages where Macintosh gets his high-school metal band back together.  Dunno when it'll start posting,  but I'm drafting the first chap now.

#25 · 128w, 19h ago · · ·

Love the story.  Congrats on getting in the feature box!

#26 · 128w, 19h ago · · ·

>>1082085 I'm making a fic dedicated to Led Zeppelin and the people who invented headbanging at one of his concerts.

#27 · 128w, 19h ago · · ·

My karma senses are tingling!

#29 · 128w, 19h ago · 1 · ·

What is sad is that our own fear of these petty bureaucrats is emulated in this story. Revenue agents are not God, they are not omnipotent, they are not immortal or unstoppable. They are not, in fact, arguably even a legitimate branch of governance--- the IRS has only existed for a short portion of American history, as has the income tax. Both could be abolished tomorrow and replaced with a smaller, more humble system-- one that does not violate our economy, our privacy, or our dignity.

There are certain myths about taxation:

1) Taxation must be ruinous, complicated, and painful

2) The tax agency is all powerful and unstoppable

3) the graduated income tax has always existed, and shall always exist

4) the IRS is untouchable

So long as we propagate those myths in our culture, even in jest, we secure their illegitimate power.

#30 · 128w, 19h ago · · ·

Okay, let's point out one thing.

It's Canon. Caramel is not GAY, and is, in fact, dating a MARE.

DEAL WITH IT.

#31 · 128w, 19h ago · · 3 ·

>>1080677

As usual, I'll have to agree with you on that. It was simply too predictable, not very amusing, and...well, I have a rule. If you present Equestria as having a ridiculous amount of paperwork/bureaucracy, having a bunch of ruthless secret agents hounding ponies, or Celestia being a total pushover...I call bullshit, and trust me I called bullshit.

#32 · 128w, 19h ago · · ·

Actually, the ponies appear to be on a straight gold standard, as opposed to our own fiat standard, which (If i remember correctly) means that they would be less likely to have developed a dedicated revenue agency in the first place due to simpler economic structure.

#33 · 128w, 19h ago · · ·

This is, quite honestly, refreshingly hilarious. The mane six's reactions were spot on, Pinkie was being Pinkie, and Snowflake was so out of left field he couldn't have been anything but hilarious. When you're like me and spend all day with monsters fighting monsters and ponies burning in the sun, it's really nice to come across a story like this that can just make me laugh and loosen up a bit, and I couldn't stop laughing. Thanks for writing this.

                    ~Signed, InfiniteBrony

#35 · 128w, 18h ago · · ·

>>1082416

Well thank you. It a lot means coming from you, as I am enjoying your Guardian series quite a bit.

>>1082085

Actually I always pictured Mac as an 80's New Wave type of guy.

Hmm... well off to see if someone can draw Mac with a Flock of Seagulls haircut.

#36 · 128w, 18h ago · · ·

>>1082372

You raise an excellent point.  Perhaps some contradictory stories would help?

#38 · 128w, 18h ago · 1 · ·

my god. you sir, are BRILLIANT!

I could not stop laughing

#39 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

I saw Applejack bucking trees today and dang, she sure got a nice backside,” said one.

“Yeah, it’s all that farmwork. Filly’s got a flank that won’t quit. Nice legs too,” agreed another.

“I could watch her work all day,” said the third.

“I would pay good money to see that, I think we all would.” Three heads nodded in agreement.


i want to read this is this out there

#40 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

First of all, I enjoyed the story, so don't take everything else in this comment as an insult or an attempt to put you down or anything. It's just a thing I do.

“And maybe a few your not,” he mumbled under his breath.

A few YOU'RE not

"They insure all parts of the government are funded."

They ENSURE all parts etc etc

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/assure-ensure-insure.aspx

‘Wonder what their all gossipin about’ thought the farm pony.

what THEY'RE all gossipin' etc etc.

"With Applebloom’s help, Applejack setup a series"

SET UP is a verb, SETUP is a noun. You're using the verb form so it should be two words

"workhorse’s gluts as they coiled"

Glutes, not gluts

cannonball like should probably be hyphenated

on looking should be hyphenated or changed to onlooking, either form is acceptable

Is Carmel supposed to be Caramel?

#41 · 128w, 17h ago · 1 · ·

LO, OUR BOSOM IS BOUNTIFUL!

This was great, especially for a first effort. I look forward to more!

#42 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

....The fuck did I just read?

#43 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

>>1082792

Corrected good sir. Not sure on the cannonball-like hyphen, so left as is.

Everything else, you mentioned is corrected.

#44 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

>>1082851

Yeah I wasn't sure on that one either. You ever want me to take a proofreading run through something in the future, give me a holler.

#45 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

>>1082848

Hey get back to work you! Twisted Tales through Time isn't going to write itself. :trollestia:

#46 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

I was laughing out loud around the point here Derpy was making Muffin innuendos

#48 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

....

BM is gay?

Well, this is going to be funny.

I don't feel sorry for snowflake though. Unless he was already married. Bleh.

#49 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

Adorable, I really enjoyed this! :pinkiehappy::heart:

#50 · 128w, 17h ago · · ·

If by "gallot" you mean "a clumsy or uncouth person", that word is spelled galoot (or alternately galloot).

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