When Pinkie Pie gets saved from almost certain death, she starts to develop feelings for the one who saved her. The only problem with that is the one who saved her...is a MARE! So its up to her to decide if she really likes her and if she can gather up the courage to tell her friends, family, and, most importantly, her crush.
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Amazing!!!!!
T because of girl x girl?
what's next? M because of male x male?!
As a shpific writer I'm enjoying this a lot! It's not too rushed, yet not too filling, YET not too just right.
It's a weird thing, but I like this fic! Moar please!
72985 Well actually, I've already planned out a male x male Shipfic.
72985
Well, that's the sad thing: It actually happens that male x male is rated M instantly...
I assume that the 'T' rating is for 'Terrific' rather than 'Teen'. I would hate to imagine that in 2011, here, in this place, that there exists an apartheid regarding love.
Moooooaaaaar.
img.chan4chan.com/img/2009-02-15/1234713403425.jpg
You just rick rolled me...
Ok, so I wiped that little comment about it being T for girl x girl. Even though, do you really think a 12 year old girl or younger or a 12 year old boy or younger should read this sort of thing?
Seems like it was rushed a bit. I found a few grammer errors, such as capitalization. You should write the chapter and then read it yourself to check for errors or things you think you should change.
73169
Unless you plan to make this into a clopfic, yeah, I see no problem with a younger kid reading this, nothing wrong with having a crush and going out on dates and such. I imagine the teen rating is more for violence or gore, the sort of thing that might scare a younger kid.
Nicely done by the way.
I look forward to reading more, tracking this. You do kindof remind me how much i can't relate to pinkie pie, though not in a bad way.
A few spelling and grammar errors but pretty decent work overall so far.
73169
Why not?
So far, all we've had is a kiss, and that's no problem for the pre-teen set who are ready to handle shipping of any sort. Now, if it gets further in the future, that could change things.
On childrens tv in Norway they used two barbie dolls to illustrate that two of the same genders could find love, national outcry aside, kids usually don't care. Though Most kids wouldnt' read shipfics, I guess?
Either way, this story seems nice, liking the angle so far; tracked feshur
I could never imagine Pinkie Pie dying like THAT.
I get the point ponies.
73217
I do check it myself and I do have people help me. However, I'm not exactly grammar savvy. So I would very much appreciate if you tell what these grammar mistakes were.
66156 .66156. > 66-15-6 > 666 YOU ARE THE THE DEVIL, THE DEMON FROM HEELLLL, WE'RE ON THE SAME LEVEL AND I'M GONA SHOOT YOU DOOWWNN.
Ok guys, changed it to Everypony. Happy?
72985 To be fair, by the rules of the site, girl x male would also be T-rated. :P
73424
...so does that mean I should change it back to teen?
73217
*Grammar.
But yes, there were quite a few errors.
Yuck @
at the end
73169 Buddy, I'm 11 and I've read clopfics. So have a few of my friends.
73584
You know, if you are going talk about grammar mistakes at least tell me what they were.
73468 Dunno, deciding how much frienshipping you can get away with before you need to bump the rating up from PG is a pretty subjective thing. Personally, I use the test of "would I not show this to a 12-year-old because I thought it was too mature for them?" and change the rating to teen if the answer's yes.
I just hope this doesn't turn out to be one of those 'you love me and I actually secretly loved you all along' stories.
Ok guys! chapter 3 is done! I really don't like how this chapter turned out but it should be better once I move on to the next. Anyway, I'll post it once I'm finished editing it. Please! PLEASE! Tell me of any mistakes in this story so I can fix it. PLEASE!
ITS TIME FOR CHAPTER 3!!!
Remember: Constructive Criticism and point out grammar mistakes.
73424
73169
I only mentioned that it is a little bit harsh to say ''T-Rating because of girl x girl''.
74166
Well, look, I've usually thought of girl x girl as being mature for its...usage.
Then I found ponies. I then found out that you can make it a D'awwww effect without making it a Clop efffect when you use ponies in shipping. Knowing this, I thought that it was meant for teens since its still girl x girl. Sorry for any misunderstandings and my poor judgement.
i d'awwwwwed
Im really liking this story, and its amazing how fast you get them written. But the grammar and spelling errors are starting to distract from the story as a whole. Do you have pre-readers? If not i'd be honored to help you ^^ over all ots well written, nicly paced and reflects nicly on reality and how judgmental we think people will be. Keep up the good work!
74227
And yes, I would love to have pre-readers...If I knew how to make you one...
I love this story so much...
74390
Thank you.
74174 ....Its not you, its the human race its because no matter are religion or belief we all live on some sort of religious basis that says "sex and drugs are bad"...like an old assbag once said "porn and art are the same, why make them seem so different."
ATTENTION! Chapter 1 has been updated with better grammar. You don't have to reread it but just know that it has way less mistakes then it did before.
Chapter 2 will be updated also sometime later.
Thanks goes to Dew Drop my new Pre-reader.
Ok, guys. Now chapter 2 has been updated! Hope the now better grammar lets you think more positive about my story.
The apparent train wreck of Chapter 3 is now fixed with better grammar.
For those who are wondering, I am still working on Chapter 4 but it is almost done anyway.
Chapter 4 is finished, edited, and ready to be shown to you guys!
loved it
loved every damn word of this chapter
Fluttershy being carried away with the whole same-gender love of the animals made me freaking lol
Is there going to be anyone who will reject pinkie pies homosexuality?
When is the next chapter
I read this, I lol, I realize this is serious, I continue reading, and laugh...
Hay everypony. I'm really sorry for the very long delay. Its just my computer broke and I had to wait to get a new one. But I'm BACK!
I promise I won't have as long of time between chapters. I am currently 1000+ words into the next chapter if that makes you feel better.
Just going to say right now, I really hate this chapter. For starters, my Pre reader is in his winter break so he says he can't help me. This thing is most likely going to be loaded with grammar mistakes. I also think I go a couple of charaters out of character. I also don't want to keep you guys waiting any longer. I AM VERY SORRY! As soon as my pre reader to see if he will fix it later and if it goes to the worse, I'll just delete this chapter all together.
Gilda! Nothing good can come of this! (I have her painted as a bad guy in my story, too.)
And I don't think this chapter is too bad. I believe you have a few editing things to work out, like dialogue formatting. Example:
"Can you do it?" Asked Mr. Cake.
"You can count on me." Answered Pinkie Pie.
If the thing after the quotes is an incomplete sentence (like those two above), make sure the period inside the quote is a comma, and the capital afterwards is lower-case. Like this:
"Can you do it?" asked Mr. Cake.
"You can count on me," answered Pinkie Pie.
If the thing after the quote is a complete sentence by itself, then it's all set. You've got that correct, like here:
"Well, um, thanks Rainbow, for the news anyway." Pinkie Pie looked back over to the cupcakes.
Don't worry, quote formatting is tricky stuff, and comes with practice. I can tell your story has a huuuge amount of promise if you just clean up a few grammar things. If you want any more pointers, shoot me a message on my profile.
125116
First off, Gilda is definitely going to cause problems for Pinkie, but not in the way you are apparently thinking. And I think I'm depending to much on my pre reader. Then again, I'm only 14 so I don't think I've learned all that much on grammar yet...
If you need another pre reader I'm always available.
125030 Initiate Back Up Pre Reader Request 9000
*loads 12 gauge*
Gilda better not do anything bad.