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Wild & Lightning 306

Joined August 2012
6 followers

    Wild & Lightning's Stories (3)

    • Loyalty
      After Soarin' recovers from a known illness, He finds the true definition of loyalty when he return

      1,006 words · 365 views · 15 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Where We Went
      Have you ever wondered where the fillies and colts of the crystal empire went?
      1,058 words · 179 views · 6 likes · 2 dislikes
    • Twisted Magic
      Pinkie Pie becomes depressed when she has a sudden need to want to fly.
      6,331 words · 370 views · 8 likes · 4 dislikes

    When Pinkie Pie becomes severely depressed about wanting to fly, she goes to Twilight seeking help. Twilight performs a spell that not only changes Pinkie's life but a certain rainbow pegasus as well.

    Could Pinkie's new dream ruin Rainbow's existing ones?

    …maybe..  

    Cover art by Lightning

    First Published
    12th Aug 2012
    Last Modified
    30th Aug 2012

    Comments ( 34 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Very good. But get an editor to fix up some of these problems, will you? There's a good darling! :raritystarry:

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I really like the idea of the story, you just really need to take a lot time to edit and proofread, and I mean A LOT(no offence though)

    For the prologue, (in my opinion) I think it's a good idea to remove everything except paragraphs 1, 2, and 3, just to give like a backround of the story, and add everything that was removed to chapter 1.

    Also, there are a lot of spelling mistakes and incorrect/missing grammar.

    I suggest using spell check and grammar check.

    That's all I could think of for now. If you disagree with my suggestions, I totally respect your opinion, and I can't wait to read more of this!

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1070447

    Thank you:pinkiehappy: but we really don't know any editors, or very many other people here:pinkiesad2: So do you have any reccomendations for one?

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1070603 I really don't know anybody that well except BronyWriter. He is currently editing my story (not the one I currently have right now on this website, but another one), so you can ask him, I guess.

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 40w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Very impresive, other then the spelling and grammer errors I'm hoping to see how this will turn out, I like this, Pinkie and Rainbow are a very awesome cule in my eyes and I' hoping to see where this goes. I'll be watching, also breif hints of SORROW! Awesome (she's the dark half of Pinkie Pie and second in command of the Dark Elements, aso known as Disharmony)

    #6 · Chapter 2 · 40w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Sorry for the short chapter:applecry:   -Facehoof- Longer chapters soon PROMISE!:pinkiehappy:

    Lightning~

    #7 · Chapter 2 · 40w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Ha, Pinkie just disappered.Damn, wonder if Dash will not kill Twilight as promised? Pinkie never seems to take much seriously and sometimes it could get annoying....this is going to be fun.

    #8 · Chapter 2 · 40w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1081119

    Bahaha, Soon enough. I would say different but Its wild wings' turn next. shes writing chapter 3. so i honestly don't now what shes planning until i proofread. :rainbowhuh:

    ~Lightning

    #9 · Chapter 2 · 40w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1082509>>1082509 Hehehehe*evil smile* Y'all will have to wait and see...:rainbowkiss:

    ~Wild

    #10 · Chapter 2 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·
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    so fast paced....

    Slow down, for Celestia's sake! It's nothing but talk. And there are some errors. Actually a lot. I suggest you look this over and add more fat to it.

    #11 · Chapter 2 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1084152

    Well in my eyes there's nothing wrong with it, THAT^^ is just your opinion.:ajbemused:

    #12 · Chapter 3 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I read what you have so far, and I like it. A few parts seemed a little jumbled and difficult to understand, but I think i only ran across two sentences that were like that in what you have so far. The only other problems were minor spelling and grammatical errors, but those could be easily fixed. All in all though, good job, keep it up!

    #13 · Chapter 3 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #14 · Chapter 3 · 40w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I like this one, but I felt as if Rainbow let Pinkie and Twilight off a little to easy, it just does not seem like her.....and I'm glad to know a bit about Applejack's mother, it's a very impressive concept, please write more. Poor Pinkie.

    #15 · Chapter 3 · 40w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1090180

    Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

    #16 · Chapter 3 · 40w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1094815

    We only made that happen because she was pissed, and it barely sunk in that she wasn't going to be able to fly any more, Dont worry. shes going to be a bitch soon.

    #17 · Chapter 3 · 40w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1094840 Works perfectly for me.

    #18 · Chapter 3 · 39w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1094852

    Sorry, chapter four is running VERYVERYVERRRY late... :fluttercry::facehoof:

    #19 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Jesus, man. That cliffhanger. When I was reading it, it was like having heartwarming, happy background music playing, like everything's going to be okay. And then, during the last sentence, it immediately jolts into a LOST violin screech.

    Welp, time to start tracking this, then. :rainbowkiss:

    #20 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1185510

    This comment made me laugh, i knew that last sentence would grab somebody. Glad you liked it! :rainbowlaugh:

        ~Lightning

    #21 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 13h ago · · ·
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    >>1185517

    I think that worked as intended.

    Because "Dun-dun-dun!" :pinkiegasp:

    #22 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 13h ago · · ·
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    >>1187671

    Thanks! glad you liked it! :yay:

    #23 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Hey Crazy! :pinkiehappy: So, anyways, I really like your story :twilightsmile:

    #24 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 4d ago · · ·
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    #25 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Its really good.......I'm serious :scootangel:

    #26 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1211455

    Haha, thank you! :pinkiehappy: we actually share an account and we take turns writing each chapter. :rainbowwild:.

    #27 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Whats it like to have lots of fans for your book? I only got one book, just published it, and I gotta wait 23 minutes...I'm getting antsy! Oh and Crazy? Why aren't you on Warrior Cats RPG anymore? We all miss you :fluttercry:

    #28 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1214241

    Well we don't have a lot of fans but its nice:heart: and you just published a story?:pinkiehappy: ill give it a read!:pinkiecrazy:

    and whats warrior cats rpg? :rainbowderp:

    #29 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    lol nevermind xD

    #30 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1218043

    Alrighty then. :trollestia:

    #31 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 11h ago · · ·
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    I think its amazing! or, at least the concept is. But it moves a tad to quick, her getting the wings, just like that *snaps fingers* aside from that...

    :raritystarry:

    #32 · Chapter 3 · 34w, 10h ago · · ·
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    It was good, but I would have imagined Rainbow being a lot angrier, instead of sobbing. and totally being FURIOUS:rainbowhuh: at Twilight

    #33 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 10h ago · · ·
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    CLIFFHANGERS!!!!! They make me so :raritystarry: and :rainbowderp: and :flutterrage:

    I love angry dash! I want to see more of that!

    #34 · Chapter 4 · 11w, 4d ago · · ·
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    IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

    if you enjoy reading this story,it will not be continued on this account. The account this story is on is my old one and for some reason it locked me out....i dont know. SO....it'll be updated on 'kathole23' very soon.

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