The Cutie Mark Crusaders are gathered in their clubhouse, trying to find out something to do. Sweetie Belle soon comes up with an idea: baking. Problem is, they don't have needed equipment or ingredients in their clubhouse, so they have to go ask their sisters and friends for a permission to work in their kitchen.
And of course after finding a place where to bake, there is the baking itself. Will they be able to bake anything edible, or will the results of their baking be just some black crumbs?
(Fanfic reading here. Thanks to Agent Fluffy and rest of the cast!)
Chapters (1)
Bloody excellent, as always
I'm going to need another favourites tab on my page! Keep up the good work!
1068004 Thank you for commenting, glad you liked this story too!
Also thanks also to everyone who have been favouriting and upvoting this story!
I'd like to see more comments if you all please.
I'm not forcing anyone to write anything here, but i would really like if you would point out any mistakes I have made so I can possibly fix them and avoid more mistakes in my future stories.
Any praises are welcome as well, I like receiving comments!
I wouldn't want to take a bite out of those cupcakes.
Then again, if I broke one of my teeth from those, I could get treatment fron the Cutie Mark Crusader Dentists!
...Then again, I really hope not.
1068600 It would probably be better just to live with a chipped teeth than visiting CMC Dentists...
Thanks for comment, it means a lot to a mostly unknown novice writer like me!
I liked it, it was sweet and well written. Keep up the good work!
As far as constructive criticism goes, I'd have to say that the story was a touch... flat. There was no real sense of accumulating action, and the climactic moment only really makes itself known by the slightly-descending action that takes place immediately afterwards. The events in the story came across to me as just that: chronologically-arranged events.
That said, you have a good sense for dialogue and pleasant diction. The idea of Cutie Mark Crusader Mail Couriers is an interesting one; combine your strong suits with a more emphatic progression and climax(es), and you'd have an excellent follow-up on your hands.
1071268 Thank you!
1071474 Yeah, I realize I'm not really that good in building tension in my stories, neither I'm not that good at coming up with interesting/surprising twists or climaxes for the end. But at least I tried something
Thanks for comment, I got to think about that a little more when I write my next story.
I've said this everywhere but Discord is out of a job. The CMCs are the real avatars of chaos in Equestria!
lol cute!
3932587 Thanks!