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Skywriter 165986

Joined January 2012
1,463 followers

    Skywriter's Stories (16)

    • Princess Celestia Hates Tea
      Seriously, a lot.

      8,537 words · 24,781 views · 2,293 likes · 33 dislikes
    • Derplicity
      Derpy Hooves is secretly a changeling. Nopony particularly notices, or cares.
      7,984 words · 12,452 views · 1,574 likes · 22 dislikes
    • How to Remove a Unicorn Tooth
      Three missing pieces, two loving alicorns, and a single stupid decision that will set young Princess Cadence on a fresh new course.
      11,618 words · 7,000 views · 675 likes · 7 dislikes
    • Martial Bliss
      Shining Armor learns the most important tactical lesson of his life.
      1,514 words · 10,317 views · 1,344 likes · 19 dislikes
    • Shipping Sickness
      2,286 words · 12,703 views · 1,442 likes · 21 dislikes
    • Observatory Hill
      11,138 words · 1,801 views · 280 likes · 2 dislikes
    • Heretical Fictions
      7,820 words · 9,969 views · 470 likes · 7 dislikes
    • Contraptionology!
      134,421 words · 6,718 views · 589 likes · 10 dislikes
    • Hoardsmiths
      2,670 words · 1,441 views · 315 likes · 4 dislikes
    • Lady Prismia and the Princess-Goddess
      10,726 words · 1,821 views · 253 likes · 3 dislikes

    327
    12,703

    x

    * * *

    Shipping Sickness

    or, Twilight Sparkle Gets Intimate With Her Table, Part Two

    Jeffrey C. Wells

    www.scrivnarium.net

    * * *

    Somewhere below, in the common room, a weary and inexplicably Failsafe spell-resistant drum kit looked up in the direction of the library loft.

    "Ba dum pum," it said to itself.  "Tish."

    the end

    Comments ( 168 )

    #1 · 41w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Okay, commence DAFUQing, but before you do, let me just say a quick word of thanks to S.R. Foxley for the beta on this one.  Given the actual end product, you may not believe this, but his influence markedly improved the final piece.

    #2 · 41w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Awesome. Everything is better with a few puns.

    #3 · 41w, 23h ago · · ·
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    PFFFFT. Gonna need help. Think I got a concussion from a truly epic face palm.

    I am so very impressed.

    #4 · 41w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Now that's a truly random story. Good work!

    #5 · 41w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Ow, the puns! :rainbowlaugh:

    Excellent example of well-done random humor, and punnery. And yes... that last line was a punch right into my sense of humor. :pinkiehappy:

    #6 · 41w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Okay, why in the hay does this have 2 parts? Coudln't this have been wrapped up in one? You gave me false hope you monster! :raritycry::raritydespair:

    #9 · 41w, 23h ago · · ·
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    There is something seriously wrong with you... And unfortunately, it's probably contagious, because I did laugh surprisingly hard.

    #10 · 41w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Absolutely wonderful! I haven't genuinely laughed at something like that in so long! :rainbowlaugh:

    #11 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Literally made me giggle in the office. Deeply amusing.

    #12 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Oh good. Even if the Failsafe had worked, the drum kit probably would've spontaneously reanimated just to get in that last rimshot.

    #13 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    ...Infinite slowclaps.

    That was fantastic. Puns, puns everywhere! And the characters were amazingly funny!

    You know how you know comedy is perfect? When the non-funny parts are good, too. I loved your statements on shipping, on romance, and on relationships. It was easy to forget, for a moment, that the lovestruck paramour of Twilight was a nightstand.

    Oh, and that drumset was amazing. Perfect delivery. :pinkiehappy:

    #14 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Unicorn magic is weird...

    But puns are awesome!

    #15 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    >>1061429

    Same boat here. hehe. :raritywink:

    #16 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    congrats, you've beaten the final level of fimfiction

    please take this badge and complimentary mimosa

    #17 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    That is by far one of the best puns I have ever seen. The buildup is probably what made it.

    #18 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Oh, you. :raritywink:

    Even with the terrible puns, this was actually a very enjoyable story. Not a bad way to waste a few minutes. :twilightsmile:

    #19 · 41w, 22h ago · · ·
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    :facehoof:

    #20 · 41w, 21h ago · · ·
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    I think I just read genius.

    #21 · 41w, 21h ago · · ·
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    I have to say that the entire story to set up that ONE line was probably the best thing I have read in a long while. I envy your skill!

    #22 · 41w, 21h ago · · ·
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    Much DAFUQing was done, and I loved every moment of it. All that for one pun. ONE PUN!

    #23 · 41w, 21h ago · 1 · ·
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    Yes. Well.

    ...it was Pinkie's I suppose.

    #24 · 41w, 21h ago · · ·
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    All my win are belong to you

    #25 · 41w, 21h ago · · ·
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    >>1061377

    Sounds good to me, 'cuz whatever's wrong with Skywriter, I want it too.

    #26 · 41w, 20h ago · · ·
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    You're probably going to hate me for this, but... what's the ending joke?? :twilightoops:

    #27 · 41w, 20h ago · · ·
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    By far one of the best short stories I've read in a while :rainbowlaugh: crazy just for the sake of being crazy. No over exuberant randomness for the sake of randomness, no pinkie pie bending the laws of physics, just Twilight having one of her epic level mental breakdowns.

    #29 · 41w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>1061916 no i actualy read it as "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza" how did i not notice that...

    #30 · 41w, 20h ago · · ·
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    ARG! THE PUNS! THEY BURN!

    #31 · 41w, 20h ago · · ·
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    Arrrrgh!!! Keep firing!! Direct hit, Captain! She's goin down!  

    Ferdinand Feghoot would be proud.  

    #32 · 41w, 20h ago · · ·
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    The puns were terrible, and terribly well placed.

    As for the sadness of losing Nightstand... well, she can always re-cast it on just Nightstand, right?

    And maybe a transmogrification spell?

    After all, if you're determined enough, she could easily make it work...

    #33 · 41w, 19h ago · · ·
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    I don't ge-

    Oh.

    ARGH THE PUN

    #34 · 41w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1061975

    "Just a one nightstand"

    "Just a one-night stand"

    #35 · 41w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1062248 OOOH, so the phrase "one night stand" has two meanings? I did not know that, now I see... :twilightsheepish:

    #36 · 41w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1062291

    Oh my god no.

    That's bad! You're bad, and you should feel bad!

    #37 · 41w, 19h ago · · ·
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    This. All of this. It's brilliance. :pinkiehappy:

    #38 · 41w, 19h ago · · ·
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    TURBOPUNS

    #39 · 41w, 19h ago · · ·
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    So.

    Beautifully.

    Puntastic.

    I admit that I gigglegroaned when I read the last line...

    #40 · 41w, 19h ago · 1 · ·
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    I kept expecting Chairilee to show up and give her a lecture.

    And where was Nightlight's #1 assistant, Spork, forever longing after their mutual friend, the beautiful and elegant Vanity?

    #41 · 41w, 19h ago · · ·
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    The drumset must be Pinkies.

    #42 · 41w, 18h ago · 1 · ·
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    That was simply the most delightful aneurysm I've ever had! :raritystarry: Bravo!

    #43 · 41w, 17h ago · · ·
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    Puns....furniture puns. I don't usually laugh out loud when I read a story, but when I do, it's because it has furniture puns....Brilliant I say. And dat:rainbowlaugh: ending....

    #44 · 41w, 17h ago · · ·
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    Sweet princess Celestia, I think I have been serously overpunned. And I mean that in a good way :rainbowlaugh:

    Totally enjoyed reading this. Bravo!

    #46 · 41w, 17h ago · · ·
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    Bravo, Skywriter!  The edits you made really pull this together and make it pop, eh! :pinkiehappy:

    #47 · 41w, 17h ago · 3 · ·
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    The two princesses walked in.  Or, at least, a radiant white princess and some giant rust-red ball of fur wearing Luna's crown.  Here it was: the lecture.

    "Celestia!  I'm so sorry," Twilight cringed.  "And ... er ..." She stared at the four-legged dust trap.  "What is that, I don't even."

    A canine muzzle peeked through the layers of thick fur.  "We are not amused, Twilight Sparkle."

    Celestia's helpful attempt to look stern wasn't even in the same room as sincere.

    "Okay ... perhaps with the benefit of hindsight we shall find this amusing," Luna allowed.  

    "But you still ought to be more careful," Celestia added, finally managing a mild maternalism.

    "Or at least target her next time," Luna muttered under her breath.

    "Wait, what do you mean?  Did I do that?"  Twilight cast frantically through her memory.  There were the wards, and the Bring-To-Life spells ... but to turn Luna into some sort of ... wolf-thing ...?

    Celestia coughed and discreetly hornpointed at the lush, imported sofa Twilight had animated the previous night.  There, draped over the arm, was the Easily Forgettable Pun-Based Magical Feedback Device that Celestia had predictably forgotten after her visit last week.*  

    "Oh."  Twilight gave the princesses her best sheepish look.  That explained it.

    Wait.  No it didn't.  "Er ... I don't get it.  Why is Luna a shaggy dog?"

    Luna sighed and shook her head, then removed the feedback device from the Irish settee.

    * Only eight bits!  Available now from MacGuffin industries.

    #48 · 41w, 16h ago · · ·
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    I...am not entirely sure what just happened.

    #49 · 41w, 16h ago · · ·
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    lol that was funy almost died :rainbowlaugh:

    #50 · 41w, 16h ago · · ·
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    The story is so amazing!

    Haven't read that many puns in one story ever before! This deserves all of the applauses. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    #51 · 41w, 16h ago · · ·
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    ...

    Good god, that is the single most amazing thing I have ever written. Screw sandwiches, this is my new bible!

    ...

    Or something to that effect.

    ...Uhh...

    <Insert wacky and entertaining pun here>

    #52 · 41w, 15h ago · · ·
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    And this my little ponys is how you write "Random".

    Truly a masterpiece for the ages, and the comments were close by.

    #54 · 41w, 14h ago · · ·
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    >>1062291

    Here is your win, sir. :moustache:

    #55 · 41w, 14h ago · · ·
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    What.

    Just.

    Happened.

    :rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy:

    #56 · 41w, 13h ago · · ·
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    That was amazing!

    #57 · 41w, 11h ago · · ·
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    You, sir, are brilliant.  Have all the favs.

    #58 · 41w, 10h ago · · ·
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    Oh gosh.

    As :facehoof: worthy as the puns are... keep 'em coming.

    #59 · 41w, 10h ago · · ·
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    Maybe I'm just not in the mood, but...didn't click with me. Sorry. :fluttershysad:

    #60 · 41w, 10h ago · · ·
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    Insanity is Fun!  :pinkiecrazy:

    Cue the Rimshot!  :derpytongue2:

    #61 · 41w, 9h ago · · ·
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    >>1064411

    Eh.  No need for apologies.  I'm not sure I'd like it myself, had I not written it.

    #62 · 41w, 9h ago · · ·
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    :rainbowlaugh:

    :facehoof:

    #63 · 41w, 8h ago · · ·
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    That was hilariously stupid, and sadly, extremely in character

    Well done, you magnificent bastard.

    #64 · 41w, 8h ago · · ·
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    Best second chapter ever

    #65 · 41w, 8h ago · · ·
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    Interesting to say the least.  Check out my almost 300k word story for some inspiration to write another story

    #66 · 41w, 7h ago · · ·
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    >>1061377 This is pretty much exactly how I felt reading this xD (And hey, fancy meeting you here. I do seem to see you in the comments from time to time.)

    #67 · 41w, 7h ago · · ·
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    I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. :rainbowlaugh:

    #69 · 41w, 7h ago · · ·
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    /slow clap

    Very well crafted, Princess Mi Amore Credenza had me rolling.

    The punchline has me thinking of Avenue Q, as they have a similar pun.

    >>1062389

    Nice.

    #70 · 41w, 6h ago · · ·
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    The puns... they hurt my lungs! :pinkiehappy:

    #71 · 41w, 6h ago · · ·
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    I think you broke my head in some inexplicable way. Although, I lost it starting with Princess Sofa.

    #72 · 41w, 6h ago · · ·
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    ...I.... that.... it... you....

    I have no words. XD

    #73 · 41w, 6h ago · · ·
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    :trixieshiftright:

    ...

    Well, that was... twee.

    #74 · 41w, 5h ago · · ·
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    dat second chapter :rainbowwild:

    #75 · 41w, 5h ago · · ·
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    That was the most epic setup ever. Can't stop smiling.:pinkiehappy:

    #76 · 41w, 5h ago · · ·
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    Glorious! :raritystarry:

    #77 · 41w, 5h ago · · ·
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    Oh you!

    #78 · 41w, 4h ago · · ·
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    >>1062263 Yeah, it's when you make squeakybed one night, and then nothing ever again except for awkwardness at the office. I think. :unsuresweetie:

    #79 · 41w, 4h ago · · ·
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    I haven't said yet but you really cracked me up. I loved every pun. THEY WERE FUNNY NOT FACEPALMY!!!

    And that second chapter!!! just PERFECT!!

    I'm watching you, if you write half as good as you pun, you are worth following!

    #80 · 41w, 4h ago · · ·
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    #81 · 41w, 3h ago · · ·
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    :rainbowlaugh:

    #82 · 41w, 3h ago · · ·
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    As a lover of puns I can only say: bravo.

    #83 · 41w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Wonderful, now thats what I call a damn good read :) On my list of favourites! :pinkiehappy:

    #84 · 41w, 22m ago · · ·
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    ...:rainbowhuh:...

    ...:pinkiecrazy:

    #85 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Since the drumset was Pinkie's, it was already animated

    #86 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I so wish this was rated Mature, this could have been so much more dafuq.

    I can always dream.   :pinkiesad2:

    #87 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    oh my. :rainbowhuh:

    #88 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    wow. that was bad

    #89 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >mfw

    >>1062697

    ...I don't get it.

    #90 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Words cannot describe my emotions after reading this. This emote, however comes the closest. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

    #91 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    My thoughts. :ajsmug:

    #92 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    it was good just really surreal:applejackconfused: but i guess that to be expected when u have inanimate objects have emotions and then being reciprocated

    UFB
    #93 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I swear, if i have a concussion from how hard I just face palmed, your paying the medical bills you literary genius.

    #94 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    :rainbowhuh:

    ...

    :facehoof:

    ...

    :rainbowlaugh:

    ...

    :pinkiecrazy:

    #95 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Wow, that was... Um...

    Just take a fave, I'm speechless.

    #96 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Dem feels, wait where did they come from?

    #97 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Before reading: "Twilight Sparkle flagrantly abuses her Come-To-Life spell, and learns a little bit about love in the process."  

    Meh.

    "Also, puns. "

    Suddenly, it's on my 'Read Later' list.

    #98 · 40w, 6d ago · 1 · ·
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    >>1061197 You have succeeded in making me laugh ridiculously hard and smile to the point where my face hurts. Best. Story. Ever. :rainbowlaugh:

    #99 · 40w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1065577 Here, have mine! "Why did I love this so much?!" :rainbowlaugh:

    #100 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I don't even.....

    .....

    .....

    .....

    :facehoof:

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