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  • T You Only Live Twice

    Secret agents Vinyl and Octavia reunite to tackle a threat to Canterlot.  · JohnPerry
    36,476 words · 3,318 views  ·  337  ·  2  · 

Featured In7

More Stories20

  • T You Only Live Twice

    Secret agents Vinyl and Octavia reunite to tackle a threat to Canterlot.
    36,476 words · 3,318 views  ·  337  ·  2
  • E Trains, Carriages and Airships

    What should be a simple overnight ride turns into a three day trip from hell.
    28,168 words · 12,510 views  ·  551  ·  8
  • T Maybe

    Some ponies never change. Prince Blueblood is one of them.
    7,812 words · 3,117 views  ·  282  ·  3
  • E The Final Quest of Star Swirl the Bearded

    The last journey of an unusual wizard and the role he played in the founding of Equestria.
    64,492 words · 3,218 views  ·  194  ·  2
  • E Rest Stop

    At a rest stop on her way to Appleloosa, Twilight Sparkle has a rare moment to reflect...
    5,836 words · 10,748 views  ·  228  ·  3
  • T When the Curtain Falls

    An incident in a Manehattan theater quickly draws secret agents Vinyl Scratch and Octavia into a hunt for a strange killer.
    36,535 words · 2,267 views  ·  257  ·  4
  • T The West Is Not Enough

    Secret agents Vinyl Scratch and Octavia find themselves locked in an epic struggle against a ruthless group of outlaws in the wild west.
    29,047 words · 2,471 views  ·  317  ·  6
  • T The Wreck

    A.K. Yearling is haunted by dreams of a shipwreck...
    13,126 words · 754 views  ·  124  ·  1

Blog Posts196

  • Monday
    Can we debunk the "/b/ + pony" myth yet?

    So last night, I was thumbing through the new releases on Netflix when I came across A Brony Tale, the documentary about the fandom starring Ashleigh Ball. Overall impressions were very positive; the production values were high and I appreciated seeing fandom figures like Saberspark and The Manliest Brony featured. Although I'm always amused by how these documentaries go out of their way to highlight only the positive aspects of the fandom; naturally, the positive stuff is going to dominate the message, but I'd kinda like something that also alludes to the mischief of the fandom and all the weird and exciting creativity that comes out of that. But I digress.

    There was one moment in the film that irked me, and it was where someone explained (without the claim being rebuked) that "brony" wasn't actually a combination of "bro" + "pony," but that it came from the /b/ message board on 4chan. I'm sure all of you who have been bronies long enough have heard this explanation before.

    Now, I wasn't around for the origins of the fandom (I became a brony in the hiatus between seasons one and two), but this explanation has never made any sense to me, for one simple reason: if "brony" is a combination of "/b/" and "pony," then where the heck would the "r" in "brony" come from? If this fandom was actually named by combining "/b/" with "pony," then wouldn't we all be called "bonies"? It doesn't make sense even on the surface, yet there have been a few who have been adamant at repeating this explanation (although chances are most of them have since dropped out of the fandom).

    What's more, why would we even want to claim that's what our name means? It seems especially odd for a documentary that's ostensibly about explaining the fandom to outsiders; the "bro" + "pony" explanation is simple and conveys what the fandom is, whereas the /b/ explanation requires some understanding of 4chan (which most people probably aren't savvy to) and is rather convoluted and nonsensical. On top of that, the /b/ board hasn't been relevant to this fandom since bronies started making their own websites. The /b/ board is merely a moment in the overall history of this fandom - a pivotal moment, yes, but a moment nonetheless. The /b/ board was never a part of my experience as a brony, and I doubt it played a role for the vast majority of bronies who joined this fandom after the creation of sites like EQD and Ponychan.

    As an analogy, it's like if instead of using the name Americans, we called ourselves Minutemen or Boston Tea Partians. It's a moment that plays a pivotal role in our history, but the vast majority of us over our history didn't take part in that moment.

    Which makes me wonder, is the /b/ explanation meant to reaffirm the importance of that moment by the people who took part in it? If so, then it becomes a (perhaps unintentional) means of claiming ownership of the fandom, a reminder that none of us would be here if it weren't for them. Which may be true, but trying to cram that reminder into our very identity just seems petty. Even if the /b/ explanation is true (which I obviously doubt), it fails to say anything about our identity in the years that have passed since that formative moment and the ranks of people who have joined since.

    So now when I think of a guy giving the /b/ explanation, I think of a grumpy old man sitting on his porch going "Eh, back in my day we didn't have your fancy Equestria Dailys and your FIMFictions and your derpy boroughs! Why, back in my day, all we had was the /b/ board and our own wits! You young whippersnappers, show your respects!"

    27 comments · 233 views
  • Saturday
    Musings in a Post-Suffering Era

    Boy, let me tell you guys, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here... and I'm not sure I like it. I know it's a cliche to say "Golly, the holidays just seem to come earlier every year!" but holy hell, it really seems like the holidays came super early this year. Around November 10th, the Salvation Army guys were out with the buckets and bells, the local supermarket started selling Christmas trees, Starbucks was selling their holiday drinks, the town put up their snowflake-shaped lights along Main Street, and a couple of the houses in the neighborhood put up Christmas lights. Now, the first three I could just chalk up as capitalists looking to jump-start the holiday shopping season, but the last two don't have a monetary incentive behind them, so the consumerist explanation doesn't quite explain what I'm seeing here. I could swear that just last year I didn't see this kind of upstart celebrationism until Thanksgiving. The holiday season is my favorite time of the year, but I don't think I'm ready for two months of it.

    Oh yeah, and then last week, right as all this holiday stuff was going up, we got hit by a snowstorm and it's been so cold since that the minuscule two inches or so of snow we got still hasn't melted. Winter was really in a hurry to arrive, I guess.

    In writing news, I'm starting up a little non-pony writing endeavor that I'm excited to invite you guys to read: it's a blog called Your Future Sucks. The first post explains the idea behind the title, but basically the concept is that I'm going to talk about various visions of the future, from things like world's fairs and Tomorrowland to more contemporary notions like driverless cars or to apocalyptic visions of environmental doom, to ponder what these visions say about us as individuals and as a society. On the way, I'll poke fun at what I find to be absurd ideas about the future (the real meaning behind "your future sucks") as well as praise a few that genuinely excite me.

    Right now, there's only a couple of posts up: the first introducing the premise of the blog, the second a writing piece I did in the style of a news article about a future in which Miami is rebuilding after a devastating hurricane. For upcoming posts, I'm planning to discuss various things such as the fate of Walt Disney's Tomorrowland, Silicon Valley's branding of the future, how we talk (or don't) about the future nowadays, and maybe an invention or two while I'm at it.

    Anyway, please go check it out and comment if you like what you see. I'm much more likely to actively pursue a writing endeavor if I think there are people who will appreciate it.

    And lastly, it's late November, and if you're in college and your college experience is anything like mine was, this means you're entering panic mode as the end of the semester and the finals it brings is now looming large in your mind. Or perhaps you're feeling gloomy from the sudden onset of winter weather, or sick from the cold/flu season that comes with said weather. Or maybe work sucks. And the holiday season isn't here yet (despite the signs claiming otherwise), so the joy of presents and cookies is still too distant to be appreciated just yet.

    But take heart, for the end of the year lies on the not-so-distant horizon. So, as a public service, allow me to share the greatest pick-me-up ever created. Listen, then repeat as necessary until you are filled with the steely confidence needed to face the world.

    12 comments · 191 views
  • 2w, 13h
    John Perry Suffers the Feature Box: I Did It for Me

    37 comments · 415 views
  • 2w, 4d
    I Have Met the Enemy, and He is Me (or, an important Suffering announcement)

    Guys, I gotta be honest: Suffering the Feature Box just hasn’t been much fun lately.

    Mostly, it’s just me. The novelty has long since worn off, I’m in a bit of a creative funk at the moment, so the enthusiasm just isn’t there for me. I’m getting to that point where I’m doing these posts more out of a sense of obligation than because I actually want to do it, and that is not a place you should be when it comes to fan fiction.

    However, the box really hasn’t been helping me out lately. Long-time readers might have noticed that there’s been a general uptick in the quality of stories in the box lately. Or at the very least, there are fewer real stinkers in there, and the notably bad stories were the basis of most of my humor. And I never really intended for this to become a serious review series, so this is a problem for me.

    You might have also noticed that the recent change to the box mechanics, which allows stories to stay on the box much longer than before, has screwed with my routine a bit. But I feel like it has also made my reading selection somewhat… stale, giving me less variety to play around with. Case in point: earlier this week, the top clopfic in the box was Gleaming Shield’s Teats (which is still in the box, by the way). Now the top clopfic in the box is… its sequel. Oh thanks, box.

    But honestly, that’s all incidental. The long and short of it is that I think I need to take a break, so that’s what I’m going to do. Sometime next week (contingent on when the stories currently in the box finally fall off) I’ll do a “final” review post, and then stop the series for an indefinite length of time. Maybe at some point I’ll be able to come back to it when I’m feeling fresh, or maybe I’ll start some other endeavor. Who knows? (Certainly not me!)

    19 comments · 355 views
  • ...

One is a cellist playing at Canterlot's most elite parties. The other is a DJ-for-hire looking to make the big time. Both are secret agents. And together they'll team up to take down a powerful baked goods cartel.


Now with theme music, courtesy of The L-Train!


Proofread by the fantastic RTStephens. The cover image is courtesy of Gen-Jack-Oneill on deviantART, who graciously gave me permission for its use.

First Published
10th Aug 2012
Last Modified
14th Sep 2012
#1 · 119w, 4d ago · 1 · · Mob Rules ·

I see a reference to that old Life cereal commercial in there.

Good job with this. Didn't notice any errors.

#2 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

Hurray! This is turning out to be a fun story to read. I love the concept and the humorous bits add that extra spice to make this so memorable.

Strap in folks. We're in for a ride.

#3 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

Watching this.

#4 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

Looks promising, keeping an eye on this one.

Also, I award you five Internet Points for the Jurassic Park reference. Congratulations, now I feel old. :ajsleepy:

#5 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

Nice, looking forward to where this is going :D

#6 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

"She quickly spotted her query in the middle of the room."

I think you mean quarry.

Aside from that, looking most intriguing so far. Definitely looking forward to more.

#7 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

It's both comedic and not at the same time, but manages not to forget either side. Well done!:twilightsmile:

Loved the humour. Anti-artificial light medication, Flim and Flam, clubbing and headbanging and, of course, TAKE THAT, Upper Crust and Jet Set!

  The funny is not all-permeating, but when it hits it strikes home. Well done, once more.

#8 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

Not bad, not bad at all. Definitely looking forward to more. :moustache:

#9 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

>>1061315  I can't believe it's been almost 20 years since that film came out. :rainbowderp: One of my first memories is seeing that in the movie theater.  What's really sad though is that in all that time, no one else has been able to make dinosaurs look convincingly realistic. :ajbemused:

>>1061680  Ooh, thanks for catching that! :twilightsmile: That one is particularly confusing, given that 'quarry' also means a rock pit. :rainbowlaugh:

#10 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

No. Anything but Flim and Flam. I hate those two with a major passion.

However, the overall theme for this just popped into my head the first time I read that you were going to write this *Doesn't remember if any details were given at that time*.

I like this. I like this a lot. At first, I was thinking that this was almost going to be like The Darkness, but this is truly an original story in my opinion.

Look forward to more! You've got some real understanding for literature!

I still chuckle at that Alcatrotz line. :rainbowlaugh:

Great story, I clearly love reading these types of stories, btw great job.:ajsmug:

Awesome story so far. Can't wait to see your interpretation of Con Mane.

THIS I've gotta' see.  *starts reading*:trixieshiftleft:

#17 · 118w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

And the Blues Brothers quote nearly made me laugh ice coffee out my nose.

Now we have the James Bond ref :)  Mane, Con Mane :)

#19 · 118w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

"Octavia took her seat opposite Vinyl.  “You know, you really shouldn’t use my actual name, shortened or otherwise,” she muttered in an undertone.

Vinyl cocked an eyebrow at the grey mare.  “Octavia!  Octavia!  We’ve got Octavia here!”"


I love you for using San Francisco in this.  First time I've seen it done.

#21 · 118w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

“Are you the cops?” she muttered.

“No ma’am, we’re musicians.

...oh COME ON! ...that's GOTTA be a Blues Brothers reference... yes?

xD Oh dear I think I might like dis one! :twilightsmile: :twilightsmile:

#23 · 118w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

Awesome start. And nice Jurassic Park reference.

The orange mare and Con Mane were at the Equestrian cafe eating ashy salad and already following our heroes. Whoop de doo look at how observant I am. :pinkiecrazy:

...and here I thought Con Mane was fictional-fictional!:rainbowderp:

Ah, whattheheck, we have tons of stories of canon characters interacting with female!Indiana Jones, we sure can have some people hanging out with James Bond!:rainbowkiss:

Such a hurricane of puns at the beginning.

Carrot Top and Donut Joe/Con Mane are secret agents too, it seems. I wonder who they're working for, though.

Come on....give me a Blue Brother's reference....

>>1107325 Thank you! I don't know why I haven't seen it before, but I love that city and really wanted to make use of it. :pinkiehappy:

>>1107519 Eeyup. :eeyup:

>>1108037 Err, no - that was Upper Crust and Jet Set in the cafe.

>>1109351 There is one. See above. :raritywink:

>>1109378 I saw the art! :pinkiehappy: Now only if there's one in the actual that would be awesome....

>>1110052 No, no...I mean see above in the comments. Someone already pointed out the Blues Brothers reference in the text of the story.

A really nice story so far. Can't wait to read on.

>>1110586 I must of missed

I like that.:eeyup:

Sutro tower cameo! Are you an sf0 player, perchance?

Pretty awesome. I'm liking the Miami Vice sorta thing going on :ajsmug:

BTW reppin' San Fransiscolt XD

>>1114423 Nope. I've just visited and love the city. :twilightsmile: Though I'll have to look into this sf0 now...

Can't tell if "Me, an agent in Her Majesty's Secret Service!" is a reference to On Her Majesty's Secret Service or not...

Oh well. Plus or minus one reference makes little difference in this Who's Who of 'em. This is fun! Favorited!

next part please

Hmmm got here from EQD, can't read it at the moment but I'll fav it to check it out later :)

Awesome story! I enjoyed reading every second of it, and I can't wait for the rest of it to be released :)

Man, I'm absolutely loving this story.  As the EQD pre-reader said, it's handled very well - It feels serious, yet somehow light-hearted at the same time.  Can't wait for more!

And this,

“Forced entry, it’s an easy feat...” Vinyl sung to herself as she scanned the inside of the box with her magic"

was one of the most amusing little lines I've ready for a while. :twilightsmile:

You know the difference between this story and everypony else's?

You make this look good. :raritystarry:

Gotta love how Octy doesn't get the innuendo when searching for their contact. That girl doesn't get out enough.

Cover blown! :pinkiegasp:

#45 · 117w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·


For some reason I keep thinking it's a euphemism for crack.

#46 · 117w, 4d ago · · · Mob Rules ·

Also, I notice a "The Godfather" reference.


good one. You win an internet.

...and a Pinkie Pie. :pinkiehappy:


>>1116333  It is. :twilightsmile:

>>1149694 may be actual salt, but you are intended to think of drugs. :twilightsheepish:

>>1149762 CAUSE ME NO LIKE

Hey, this might be the first story I've seen set in my home town of "San Franciscolt." Awesome!

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