Cloudchaser is a perfectly normal pegasus pony living in Ponyville who never put much thought into love and romance.
When Cloudchaser and her sister Flitter are called upon to assist the pegasi of Ponyville for rainy season, the plucky pegasus steps up to do the best she can. But a chance encounter with a certain dark grey pegasus will change her whole outlook on life, love, and everything in between.
Cloudchaser/Thunderlane fic from Cloudchaser's perspective.
New Cover Image! It's a mock-up, but you get the picture! Made by yours truly.
Sequel! "Stormy Skies"
Chapters (7)
On hiatus? On hiatus?
I certainly hope that's not true, because I'm actually interested in this.
I didn't even see you wrote this Vol
Nice!
1060313
Thanks for catching that! Not sure how that got selected at all since it defaults to Incomplete.
1060789
Thanks!
Nicely done, will keep an eye out for the next chapters. When you decide to write them ofc
1060935
Hey thanks! There will be more to come for sure. This was fun, and I'll be sure to continue it.
1060942
Oh, goodie! So it's not on hiatus!
To further my comments a bit (yeah, having second thoughts after posting something comes naturally for me):
I like how the character you developed for Cloudchaser suits her looks. She is a bit of a tsundere (albeit she didn't slap Thunderlane just yet), has a deep love for her sister and is likeable straight off the bat.
Thunderlane is not my kind of guy, his cockyness irks me (in a good way of course), and some of his behavior seems...inconsistent? Can't put a hoof on it, so I guess its just my inner nitpicker being bored.
Also, what's up with Cloudchaser calling colts "bucks"? English isn't my first language, so I might be mistaken, but isn't Cloudchaser being a bit rude?
1060960
No it's definitely not on hiatus. That was a misclick on the form. So fail on my part.
Thunderlane was intended to be pretty cocky, but he feels inconsistent because he is. There's some more behind that, but he's pretty much putting up this front, but you get to see a few cracks in that, suggesting there's more to him than just his cockiness.
As far as the buck thing is concerned, a buck is just another term for a male that I've seen used in plenty of other stories. Plus, when you're mad, you're mad.
Thanks so much for the comments though!!
Good job bro really good first chapter
hope to see more in the future
Things seem to be progressing rather quickly, but I liked it. I couldn't see any mistakes either, that's a big plus. I'll be keeping an eye out.
-Sparklight
Whoo whoo?
1060999
Thanks!
1061107
Thank you for the kind words!
1063087
THanks!
on hiatus so soon must be a record (i know it was a mistake :D) read this when i got time :D
1073754
It's definitely not on hiatus. I am working on chapter 2 now. about 2k into it. I'm also going to be publishing 16 of Starlight next week so... yeah.
Keep giving us more chapters! I love this story and I want more!
I can think of a somewhat funny and inappropriate joke with thunderlane's name....
YES! Finally I see a proper shipping fic with these blokes! Insta-fave!
1085438
Thanks! Sure will be more to come. Not sure I want to know this joke though. Maybe PM it to me?
1089113
Aww well thanks! That's great to hear.
Yay, new chapter!
I like how you weave the show into this story. Looking forward to seeing how this goes after the event
1128066
Thanks! Much appreciated!
Nice to see some stuff with Thunderlane and the sisters. I'll probably catch up on the second chapter tomorrow, but it's pretty good so far. Want to write more stuff using these characters, so I want to see how other people think their personalities are. I like how you have it down.
1138939
Thanks! I am enjoying writing them.
Really nice, loved the inclusion of Roid Rage in there. I have to admit, at the beginning, I thought that "Winter Storm" was just another of his many names, and that there would be some Flitter x Roid Rage.
Now, I just need to find me a Roid Rage shipfic.
Th-Th-Th-That’s all folks! <- Classic!
Good chapter by the way, can't wait til they divluge into Thunderlane's past; about his parents or any other conditions he has and also about his brother- Rumble.
1208755
Thanks!! Yep, I can't wait to get into that myself.
Great job man i knew i wouldn't be disappointed by your work
Cant wait for more!!!!
LOVE IT! i would love to see this fan fic featured on EQD. I'm sure it would of course. Please bring another installment soon! i've probably commented on every chapter so far but I love the story. YOu're so lucky to have an awesome story. I posted a 1st chapter of a fan fic i made and i haven't had any reads...
oh well. KEEP WRITING!!!!
A good chapter, bringing in some conflict as well. Just wondering though, how does everypony know about Cloudchaser's feelings for Thunderlane? I thought it was pretty okay with Flitter and all, but not so much with Spitfire (who she didn't talk to much) and Rainbow Dash.
Love having more of Rumble in there. He's one of the best foals, even though he only got one speaking line in the show. Made Blossomforth seem very evil. She needs to chill, maybe do some squats with Roid Rage (who I now am sure isn't Winter Storm) or something.
And as for EQD, you should if you feel it can pass their standards. Even if it doesn't, they'll tell you why not, so you can make it even better!
If I ever were Cloudchaser, I'd do the following things:
1. Empty my glass over Blossom's head in the restaurant.
2. Punch Winter in the face before closing the door.
3. Obliterate Blossom during the nearest training session.
And there I was thinking I wasn't hotheaded. Then again, siblings have a special place in my heart. A link thicker than water, with the only person you can trully trust, rely on and look up to.
As for EQD, give it a shot, but I do advise to send it to a grammar nazi friend for inspection. There are tiny errors here and there of grammar and punctuation nature, and the pre-readers are picky as hay when reading. The rule goes that more than 5 or so errors totally gives you a strike. They want pristine works, quality writing, not interesting plots or genius character development.
Carry on!
1214105
1213808
1213704
Well. I have a regular editor who is quite excellent (Wire is a great editor no lies) and so he goes over every chapter for brushies before it even gets posted.
The news is that I kind of sort of already pulled the trigger and submitted it. So wish me luck!
Thank you for the great comments and whatnot.
The character development is strong in this one. I love it! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png
1222937
Thanks!!!
Awesome scoots chicken ref!! am I the only one who noticed that?
I absolutely love how you portray Cloudchaser, especially in regards to Flitter, such a sweet, caring sister! Can't wait to see more! This is excellent!
Wish it was possible to give more than a simple thumbs up and a favourite to show my appreciation for an incredible story. Oh well,
.
1812912
Aww.. thank you!
I've been neglecting this lately. I'm currently working on the rewrites of chapters 1 - 3, chapter 4 is finished and ready for edits, and so is chapter 5. So at some point, expect stuff to happen... but atm I'm also working on the largest, most ambitious chapter of my FOE story + a crossover... soo yeah.
1812945 No worries. Take your time and make this AWESOME!!! Better to wait for best thean to rush and settle for less.
Very nice romance plot! Love how you integrate rarity and AJ into the plot, and how She reacted to thunderlane. It's always good to read stories about the minor characters. Keep up the good work!
I assume Cloudchaser makes it. Considering she, Thunderlane, and Snowflake make it into Wonderbolt Academy.
Moar
Please
Pretty Please
2047134
Yes. More will be coming at some point. Hopefully soon!
2049265 Makes me happy.
Man, two chapters. That was a lot of reading. Haven't done 18k in one sitting for a long while. A bit fast paced at times, but nothing too distracting. Good to see you had fun with the musical elements. Understandable to be angry at Blossomforth, but I'd honestly be creeped out instead. The "pregnant" part in Chapter 5 was funny, but kinda messed up in hindsight. In any case, I'm sure she has her reasons.
And as always, Flitter becomes increasingly cute with each chapter. Heh, keep it up.
Hooray for singing! Gutsy move on your part. Most author's never weave in the singing part of MLP into their fics.
The role of typical soap opera, psycho-bitch will be played by Blossomforth. She needs to be shipped with Garble (the douchey red dragon that bullied Spike or Crackle just because it would be funny)
"I don't need you any more Thunder, I have Crackle. He's more dragon than you'll ever be..."
"GRAAAAA WHHHOOO WHAAA!!!!" The eight legged drake screeched defiantly as he plucked a gem from between his scales to give to Blossomfourth.
"See? And he gives me diamonds."
Also, good use of songs. The "Find a Pet" song, "Find a Dress" version was funny.
I'm kinda wondering what Blossomforth is going to try next, seeing as she pretty much torpedoed her chances with the whole "I'm pregnant" trick.
You my favorite author now.
2064224
Thanks!
2063248
Heh. Indeed.
2063128
Lawl. Crackle.
2062932
I had a lot of fun with the songs. It was great times.
2062802
Thanks!!!
Like I said. FAVORITE. AUTHOR.
I am thoroughly disappointed by the amount of attention this story has, or rather, doesn't have.
2072604
Ahhh, well, thank you. I can say for certain, that I wouldn't mind more attention to this for sure.
I can also say for certain that short of a miracle of editing time that I simply do not have at the moment to rewrite stuff, that you won't see this on EQD. Unfortunate as that is, them's the breaks.
2072604 I def agree with this!