This is the story of Josh, he goes to a bad school full of thugs ad stoners, he just manages to get by as he has a lot of friends, he has heard that a few new kids where coming to school, chances are they wont fit in and they will get bullied and harassed, but who knows?
This is the story of Josh, he goes to a bad school, full of thugs and stoners, and he just manages to get by thanks to his friends. Rumours circulated that a few new kids where coming to school, chances are they wont fit in and they will get bullied and harassed, but who knows?
1069767
Call me lazy, but this is the best I could think of
Good story. I usually don't like humanizing them, but you did a good job with what little I saw.
Good writing, its just hard to read. Put an extra space between each paragraph. The conversation with the brain, called thoughts, are usually in italics. A few typos, like author's notes in the middle of a paragraph, such as, "What is he, like, ninety?" would be in parenthesis.
This is just constructive criticism. Your welcome to not follow my advice.
1069857
will see what I can do, thanks
It was certainly very pessimistic.
1069857
also, what are parenthesis, i'm not he brightest crayon in the box
Needs improvement, but the plot.... I cant take my eyes off it....
Inform me of any mistakes!
Everyone seems a little too shitty.
This ain't half bad keep going with this.
1070034
Thanks man, this is my first story
Also, a big thank you to Zornia, he's the one that inspired me to make an account and starting my own stories
just wanted to let you guys know, if you haven't already read any of his stories, do so
this has my kind of humor
INSTANT WIN
1070050 Small world! I gave Zornia a hand with the FlutterFic (as far as I can remember, maybe it was just advice ) He's a bloody good chap, and is handling that fic well. I'm glad he inspired you
1069922
Also called brackets. (these are parenthesis)
(what is he, like, ninety?)
1070474
ah, ok thanks
1070028
Seeing as i'm setting it in a school that's meant to be so shit that the government pays for it, I think it's realistic, also I went to a similar, school, only there was not sexual harassment, but there were still stoners and daily beatings up
not bad keep it up. thats all i got to say XD.
i love this fic
1071429
Thanks bro, next chapter will be out in either 2 hours or tomorrow, depends on what i have to do
Point out any mitakes!
1072304 ICWAHTUDIDTHAR
You really have to live in a very shitty place if rape and murder are commonplace in your school.
Once again, wonderful writing and wording. You paragraphs are a bit too hard to distinguish, but it is well worth it. I cant wait to read more! (luckily I don't have to.)
That is a terrible neighborhood. Poor Twi.
1073150
Murder?
d'aww how cute you are in love with twilight
Wow this is not bad of a story after all.
Wish I could see more of this. I would say okay.Since that's all I got to say right now.
Are the mane 6 just humanized, or is this just a teleportation spell gone wrong?
God never deserts. Not even the non-believers.
1074388
Humanized.
1074430
I was thinking the same exact thing.
1074577
Just checking.
And your thumbnail is my computer background
You did it cheese.
Seems like you based this off something.
1074778
Cuz thats not at all creepy.
1076524
Its not. I have no idea what you're talking about.
Its just a hilarious picture.
I should make that into a fanfic...
1074861
I could never have even done the little I have without your amazing story
All credit should go to you
This was a good story, but I have a question. Why do all stories in the human world have to be in the worst neighborhoods? Overall good story bro
1079984
I dunno, I got the idea from someone else
Wait a minute! What about the local police? I don't care how bad your neighborhood is, there HAS to be police somewhere!
1087839everfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Fuck-the-Police.jpg
1089585
lol I guess your right.
Sorry for the long wait, but I finished it all then my pc glitched up and deleted half of it so I rage quited and didn't work on it for a couple of days, and remember tell me of any mistakes
This will be my last chapter, I was willing to continue but I don't know where to take it from here so i'm just gonna leave it as it is
You had a good run just let it come naturally.Great job by the way love your work
Sequel. Now.
That was...unexpected. Especially when their...moths?...touched.
Even if you don't plan to do it in the near future, you should definitely NOT leave it there. Also, if you're sure your done, label it as finished in the Edit Story button.
You should either continue writing this, or do a sequel. It CAN'T end there!
Parenthesis are these()
1089585 Okaaaaaayyyyyy...
You can tell it's a bad nayborhood if rape and school are in the same sentence.
1152028
Rape will never happen in this school?
sounds fine to me