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DeiStar 17583

Joined April 2012
964 followers

    DeiStar's Stories (17)

    • Rarity's Bad Mane Day
      Sweetie Belle pulls a prank on Rarity, dying her mane green.

      7,007 words · 8,488 views · 749 likes · 16 dislikes
    • I Feel Fine
      Rarity is sick, so Applejack goes over to take care of her.
      4,522 words · 4,427 views · 420 likes · 9 dislikes
    • In My Life
      Celestia speaks about her life with Twilight in the hospital
      1,732 words · 7,079 views · 791 likes · 22 dislikes
    • Honey Pie
      While on a picnic, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle share a delicious honey pie. Soon, they find each other talking about something they never thought they would talk about. Foalhood is like honey pie.
      4,253 words · 2,343 views · 292 likes · 9 dislikes
    • She Came In Through the Bathroom Window
      7,112 words · 10,011 views · 884 likes · 39 dislikes
    • Tomorrow Never Knows
      4,699 words · 1,989 views · 275 likes · 9 dislikes
    • Journey to My Imagination
      94,438 words · 17,318 views · 1,784 likes · 92 dislikes
    • Lyra Heartstrings: Ace Attorney
      16,621 words · 2,260 views · 197 likes · 6 dislikes
    • Sister Love
      6,531 words · 6,989 views · 600 likes · 30 dislikes
    • Mistress Twilight
      3,755 words · 9,916 views · 845 likes · 57 dislikes
    Source

    Twilight was expecting to have a nice, relaxing morning bath. What she did not expect, was for Rainbow Dash to interrupt her by crashing through the window. Twilight, instead of yelling at Rainbow, invites her to take a bath together.

    First Published
    6th Sep 2012
    Last Modified
    6th Sep 2012

    Comments ( 196 )

    #1 · 37w, 18h ago · · ·
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    Not a shipfic.

    Learn to read the tags.

    #3 · 37w, 10h ago · · ·
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    :pinkiehappy:

    EDIT: Congratulations on the feature.

    #5 · 37w, 10h ago · · ·
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    Reading this and loving it :pinkiehappy:

    #6 · 37w, 10h ago · · ·
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    I can now sleep in peace. Thank you, DeiStar.

    #7 · 37w, 10h ago · · ·
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    That was 'sweet' I guess you could say. :twilightblush:

    #8 · 37w, 10h ago · · ·
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    I was half expecting the letter to be full of accidental innuendos. I've been reading too many comedy fics...

    #9 · 37w, 10h ago · · ·
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    While i'm partial to Twidash...This was extremely cute, and something i could see them doing.

    #10 · 37w, 10h ago · · ·
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    This fic made me feel all warm and wuzzy. Thank you. :heart::twilightsmile:

    #11 · 37w, 10h ago · · ·
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    EVER SINSE I WROTE 'When You Were Young" I'VE NOTICES STORIES LIKE THIS!

    #12 · 37w, 9h ago · · ·
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    Very nice!  Touching, a bit silly, and not too sappy.  Doesn't take itself too seriously, but has some real value in it.

    A nice little tidbit of WAFF.  Write on!  :twilightsmile:

    #13 · 37w, 9h ago · · ·
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    #14 · 37w, 8h ago · · ·
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    D'awww

    #15 · 37w, 7h ago · · ·
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    How does she keep the bathwater hour for so long? I've never seen one hold heat for longer than a half hour.:pinkiegasp:

    Dat tub:rainbowderp:

    Oh, sweet story, too.

    #16 · 37w, 7h ago · · ·
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    Not a shipfic huh?

    Well alright then... friendshipping is an acceptable alternative. Great story!

    #17 · 37w, 7h ago · · ·
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    I liked it... But I have to say that I would have liked it a lot more if it weren't for the grammar errors or the way some of your sentences seemed to repeat themselves or drag on. I suggest joining that pre reader group.

    That being said, I loved the idea. Very cute story, it's something I can see the actual show doing.

    #18 · 37w, 5h ago · · ·
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    I read it mainly because it wasn't shipping. I was curious as to how it would go. Well done.

    #19 · 37w, 4h ago · · ·
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    >>1225347

    But that image... :rainbowhuh:

    You should change it, can lead to someone missing this great story because they don't like shippings.

    >>1229041

    Magic bath stuff.

    #20 · 37w, 4h ago · · ·
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    I was a little too surprised to see this wasn't a Mature fic. It's just that the description was a little misleading.

    #21 · 37w, 3h ago · · ·
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    >>1229094

    Yes, I must admit that almost the whole thing was written very... awkwardly. Most of it wasn't necessarily wrong, but there were more optimal ways in which things could have been worded.

    #22 · 37w, 3h ago · · ·
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    Great story:yay:, with lots of details.

    #23 · 37w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Short and sweet. It's nice to see these sisterly interactions between the Main 6. =)

    #24 · 37w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Very impressive one shot, and of course it's not a shipfic.:yay:

    #25 · 37w, 1h ago · · ·
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    I've always been of the mind that friendship is the best ship. :yay: This was cute and sweet.

    #26 · 37w, 1h ago · · ·
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    I don't know why but something tells me that you (the author) recently viewed the episode with RD getting Tank.

    why? It is the only episode where she really open up and shows emotions :rainbowlaugh:

    Fantastic story.

    a green thumb and 5 spikes on the way: :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    #27 · 37w, 1h ago · · ·
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    >>1225347

    Friendshipping

    #28 · 37w, 43m ago · · ·
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    Not the ship I wanted, but still a well done fic.

    #29 · 37w, 38m ago · · ·
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    >>1229339

    You have been successfully trolled, my friend!

    Loved this story though.

    #30 · 37w, 28m ago · · ·
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    Saw the description, thought "Hmmm, I wonder what this is going to lead to..." :raritywink:

    Then saw the tags and rating. :rainbowhuh: Mind=blown. Shall read later. :twilightsmile:

    #31 · 37w, 24m ago · · ·
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    Nice. Liked it a lot.

    #33 · 37w, 16m ago · · ·
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    >>1229511 With some of the word choices, I'm thinking English might not actually be the authors first language.

    she is a sweet little mare in the inside

    being just one example of this.

    #34 · 37w, 12s ago · · ·
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    Never knew Trollestia wrote fiction!  Cover image totally threw me off. That, and you can't see tags from the Featured Box. Saw the image, read the description, clicked the Featured Box, and never looked back... except to do a WTF when the wing massage never went beyond a wing massage. When on FimFiction does THAT ever happen?

    #35 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    While this isn't a shipfic (curses :trixieshiftleft:) it was well written and pretty cute. :twilightsmile: Take my thumbs. *cuts them off and hands them over*

    ...Shit, I cn'tbarly typ.

    #36 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #37 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Warm. Check.

    Fuzzy. Check.

    A wee bit teary eyed. Check.

    Thanks for the story. It made me feel very nice after a crappy day. :twilightsmile:

    #38 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    twilight and RD in a bathtub that does not fall under clop?

    you sir are one reason why I like this fandom! have an internet!

    and a stache! :moustache:

    more staches :moustache::moustache:

    More! :moustache::moustache::moustache:

    MORE!! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    #39 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Friendshipping, yay! So freakin' adorable. I loved every word of it ^_^

    #41 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Awwww. It is somewhat refreshing to see a scenario like this that doesn't devolve into a hormone-fueled orgy.

    #42 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    “Soarin’! It’s Soarin’, all right?”

    Woot! My favorite! (Even if nothing comes of it in this story...sequel maybe?:pinkiehappy:)

    Very nice story though. Saw a number of typos scattered about but nothing major. Mostly things like "in" when it should be "on".

    #43 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1230059

    Correct. My first languge is Spanish, hence why there might be some errors scattered around the fic.

    I'll try to spot them and fix them.

    Thanks. :twilightsmile:

    #44 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    :heart:Awwwwwww....:heart::twilightsmile:

    #45 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1230320 if you'd like I could go through this story again, point them out and give you suggestions on what I think would go better there.

    #46 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Just adorable. :twilightblush:

    #47 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    That was very heartwarming!

    It was definitely a pleasant read. :twilightsmile:  

    #48 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Concept? 4/5

    Execution? Left a lot to be desired.

    Your dialogue for both Twilight and RD felt... Stilted? Forced? Wrong?

    I don't know, but your diction really bugged me, I was struggling to read this. I mean, they were simultaneously perfectly in and out of character. Everything they DID was perfectly in character, but the WAY they did it left a funny taste in my mouth...

    It's sort of like watching a TV show that's been translated from another language.

    #49 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1230320 Hey. You should totally troll all the peoplew who love this by doing a clop version. Just my opinion. I think it would be hilarious, and that's what I'd do. I would write the cutest story ever written, and then I would mind-buck all the bronies by rewriting it as clop. But then again, not everypony is a troll.:trollestia: You have my thumbs-up, my favorite, and my:moustache:. Please write more!

    #50 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    She says she's always been a flyer

    She lands on fifteen clouds a day

    And though she says she's not a crier

    Well, I knew what I could not say

    (Sorry.  That just slipped out.  It won't happen again.)

    #51 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This was really cute. Hope there are more somewhere.

    Hope Rainbow wins the race now.:rainbowdetermined2:

    #52 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    The ending was a evil mindchanger. Think the letter from a diffrent deriction

    #53 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1225347

    That pic speaks differently. Damn that egghead and her bedroom eyes. I bet she doesn´t even know when she turned them on or off. :rainbowlaugh:

    #54 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Well that was interesting, I usually don't read things with a suggestive title, but this one caught my eye for some reason, and it was actually a really good story.

    I must say the characterization of Rainbow was really good, nearly spot on with the show itself.

    And Twilight, that was just lol-able.

    Good story, thumbs up! and a moustache for you :moustache: lol

    #55 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I liked it!  Very simple one-shot that's pretty cyoot and emphasizes the strong friendship between Twilight and Rainbow.  Always a nice pairing, even without shipitude. :rainbowkiss:

    #56 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1225347

    its realy nice...

    you take requests?

    (y/n)

    #57 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Wha... what is this madness!? Two of the 6 take a bath, and DON'T have sex??? This is practically unheard of!

    Spectacular fic, by the way. :pinkiehappy:

    #58 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1225347 I instantly belive you. :pinkiecrazy:

    #59 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    An interesting fic, to be sure. Given the picture included with the story, it seemed to be setting up for some sort of TwiDash comic ship, with Twilight dropping all sorts of not-so-subtle innuendo while Dash remains oblivious. Instead, you gave what would otherwise be a "saucy" concept a heartwarming quality. That takes some skill. The bath scene could have easily been extremely distracting and bemusing; ridiculous as it still is, the context settled into its own rhythm.

    Structurally, I think the dialogue could have flowed a little more smoothly. It's mostly about style, of course, but when a lot of action/description is included within the same paragraph as lines of dialogue, it can be like riding in a car which starts and stops frequently. In other words, it can be difficult to follow the content of the conversation. Sometimes, especially for poignant sections of dialogue, you may want to divorce description from speech in order to heighten dramatic impact. For example, when Dash reveals Soarin' as the object of her crush, setting her line ("Soarin'! It's Soarin', all right!") apart from everything else can accentuate the importance of the information relative to both Dash and the narrative.

    Nevertheless, to each his or her own. I still liked the concept you presented, and the execution is still worthy of note. :twilightsmile:

    #60 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1228604 Praise the sun, brother! \o/

    Also cute story :heart:

    #61 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    :twilightsmile: I loved this!!! :rainbowdetermined2:

    #62 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Short and sweet.

    It's Nice To See These Sisterly Interactions Between The Main 6. =)

    It Made Me Go :heart:D'awwwww:heart: At The End.

    So Sweet!:twilightsmile: .

    This When Twilight And Rainbow Dash Started Crying,

    It All Most Made Me Cry With Them,

    Just So Adorable.:twilightsmile:  

    And It Was Very Heartwarming!

    It Was Definitely A Pleasant Read.:twilightsmile:

    I Feel Warm And Fuzzy,

    I'm A Wee Bit Teary Eyed.

    So Now I Feel

    So HAPPY And Warm And Fuzzy!

    Warm.     Check.

    Fuzzy. Check.

    A wee bit teary eyed. Check.

    #63 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    MMMMMMM'

    AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDOUBLEYOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    #64 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I'm glad it wasn't a ship fic or clopfic and that it actually turned out to be a good fic about bonding and improving friendship blah blah blah   Huh I seriously need to find out where every pony gets those other emoticons coz the one on this site are rubbish :rainbowwild:

    #65 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Outstanding. Not very often you read about two friends being this close WITHOUT it being a shipfic. For that, I respect and commend you on a job well done. :twilightsmile::rainbowkiss:

    #66 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    “Hey, Rainbow. Want me to scrub your wings?”

    Ha! A wing-boner jo-... wait. No.... you surprised me there. But then I remembered the rating :rainbowlaugh:

    Loved reading this, I could totally see this being an episode (albeit a short one). Thumbs up from me.

    #67 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Simple amazing fic. I have such a polluted mind to read the descripition and look for the "sex" little tag on the end.

    You have my congratulations, I not a real fan of light histories, but this one is really heartwarming, probally because I always wanted to have a little sister to protect and love...

    Thank you for the sweet moment. :twilightsmile:

    #68 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    put deadstrike in this/Users/millerstudent/Desktop/Deathstroke_003.jpg

    #69 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I loved this story :pinkiehappy:!  I found it to be cute and sweet but not cheesy or corny like I expected it to be.  I did notice a tiny little thing that I would change but take it as you will.  

    She let out a faint gasp, feeling as the warm water soothed the tension on her hoof. If a single hoof in the water felt so good already, she sure was up for a very relaxing bath.

    Gasp doesn't really work here.  It's pretty much just for surprise or shock.  Sigh would work best here but I have a feeling you sue gasp here because you didn't want to overuse sigh.  I would just suggest describing the sigh.  For example "She let out a faint but drawn out sigh of relaxation,"

    Keep up the great work! :twilightsmile:

    #70 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    And nothing sexual happened, because it's rated "Everyone".:rainbowlaugh:

    #71 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    BEST STORY EVER OHHHHHH

    #72 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    :twilightblush: Ha! This was super cool. I didn't read the tags just assumed it would be a romance strong with Clop.....Was very pleasantly surprised to see it was a "friendshipping" story. Well done my good Brony!

    Score:

    :twilightsmile::rainbowkiss::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    #73 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1230538

    :rainbowlaugh:

    MLP needs some more Beatles stuff.

    #74 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Kudos on the excellent not-a-shipfic. :rainbowdetermined2:

    #75 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    D'awwww... So cute... :rainbowkiss: I can honestly imagine this happenning on the real show.

    I'll be sure to remember this one, in case I need a pick-me-up after a particularly depressing fic.

    #76 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    dat cover

    #77 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I'm pretty sure this was everyone else's reaction, but yeah: I am bloody astonished to not see any romance tags, nor a rating any lower than "teen". What I also didn't expect was a rich,  story, one that fits the show to a tee.

    In short, this story is incredible. Great job! :twilightsmile:

    #78 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    All of my d'awww.

    #79 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1229511

    I agree there was a few places where the writer could have done it differently and made the story a little better and i agree that he should join the pre readers group

    #80 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Picture had me raising an eyebrow (not that that's a bad thing, I like being pleasantly surprised), but nonethless I thought it was a nice, well-written fic.

    #81 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    That was great, I really connected with this story

    Great Work!!! :pinkiehappy:

    #82 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Ok my brain my work differently cause I didn't see any issues in this story at all. Oh well I'm messed up enough as it is so I'll just say great story.:twilightsmile:

    #83 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    D'aww... Rainbow has a crush on Soarin'...

    And also the FRIENDSHIP! was amazing.

    #84 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    THERE SHOULD BE A SHIPPED VERSION OF THIS!

    #85 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1232742

    He doesn't do clopfics

    #86 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    You managed to write two of the most commonly shipped equines in history taking a bath together without having any shipping at all?

    You're awesome.

    #87 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Well as long as it's not shipping... *reads*

    #88 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    If I were Celestia and had read that letter with no other explanation, please tell me im not the only one who would think something had happened. Older girls who are just friends do not just take baths together. :twilightblush::rainbowderp:

    But good story!!

    #89 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Adorable. Was hoping for Twidash snuggling, but this was cute.

    #90 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Thath was really sweet, good story you get five out of five Fluttershys :yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:

    #91 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Freindshipping

    Its like friendzone, but for shipfics.

    #92 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    So I read the summery and I clicked on this fic just to see if it was a ship-fic or not. Glad it wasn't. I love intimate moments between friends. There's so much shipping going on out there that when I come across stories like these I can't help but appreciate them more than the average story I read. I must say through that there were moments in here that you could have easily turned this into a ship-fic even after Rainbow told Twilight, but you didn't and for that I am glad. Oh and there were also parts in here that were just so cheesy that I actually had to hold my mouth shut to keep myself from laughing. But with emotional moments like that between two girls, never know what goes through a females mind, it was understandable.

    This was a great story and a wonderful read. Congrats on hitting the feature box and hopefully you'll mae another story that'll do the same. Till next time!

    Quavera_Tava

    #93 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This. Was. Amazing. You made my day (Well, night) my mom came in on the cover page and saw the ic of TwixDash in the bathtub. It took a while to exlain it to her, then she got all weirded out. Oh yeah. i'm 16 and fat. and a guy. Mom didn't take it too well that i'm a brony. This fanfic makes me wanna cuddle and shit. oh god.:fluttershysad::heart::fluttershysad::heart::fluttershysad::heart::fluttershysad::heart::fluttershysad::heart::fluttershysad:

    #94 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    No shipping? You, sir, deserve a respect. :eeyup:

    #95 · 36w, 6d ago · 1 · ·
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    was she protected by Silver Spoon?

    #96 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I'm...glad that this wasn't a shipfic. It easily could have been, but works BETTER with the platonic, kind love. Gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

    #97 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Hehehe i bet celestias gettin all sorts of ideas from that letter... :trollestia:

    #98 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Huh, a crush story that wasn't between two members of the Mane 6, and you pulled it off impressively. :twilightsmile: Favourite, thumbs up.

    Have a moustache :moustache:

    #99 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I expected it to be a little more...

    Saucy

    #100 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I can't believe so many people are complaining about it not being a shipfic.

    1. On fimfiction, shipfics are a dime a dozen. Go read one if you don't like the friendshipping.

    2. This was well written and sweet. WHY COMPLAIN?

    3. For once Rainbow Dash isn't lesbian, and that is kinda new since so many people think she is.

    I can't think of any reasons why it should be shipfic.

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