Chapter 6 the Weight of the World on my Shoulders

A/N read the bottom stuff it’s important this chapter

“Well I guess this means I better start working on my design blueprints hopefully I’ll be able to perfect it in less time than my dimensional friend there took but fat chance on that, I’m sorry but I will not be going to Equestria anytime soon.”

“Oh its okay James I understand after all your universe comes first. After we leave don’t you worry I will send you a letter every week telling you how were doing and such and I will also personally send you copies of friendship letters from Twilight and her friends...” I saw tears glistening in her eyes. “You remind me of my late husband James always running around and trying... trying to help everypony now if you’d excuse me I need to go in my guest room and sleep for a bit.” She galloped in her room and muffled as they were I could hear the sobs of an eternal princess of the sun. I looked at Luna

“Luna I need to ask you a question. How did Celestia’s husband die?” Luna looked distraught but sighed deeply.

“Her husband was a scholar from Hoofington, there was something about him that charmed my sister I never understood what she saw in him but I liked him none the less. He was always so kind to everypony especially me, you see one day there was a threat told to my sister by a zebra. The Zebra said ‘if you say no I will kill you when you least expect it.’ Not taking it seriously she said no and trotted away. Two years later I am supposed to sit by my sister to help run day court but that day I had the pony pox and couldn’t attend. He took my place and the enjoyed themselves for the most part until a certain Zebra walked in the room and shot a lethal needle at my sister needless to say he jumped in the way of the needle and died. That day was the start of the Luna rule era as my sister cried everyday for a hundred years unable to forgive herself for not taking the Zebra seriously and saying yes to him. It all ended when I went to her room and sealed the memory of his death

deep in her head and replaced it with him dying of old age.”

“What was his name?”

“James.” A tear went down her face. “It was the weirdest name I have ever heard but it must be pretty common here. His name was James; you’re friend said that every dimension has a version of you in it well I guess our version had to die when we needed him most. To tell you the truth you seem not at all like him, you’ve had multiple relationships; you are not that kind to ponies and frankly quite rude but for some reason I can feel that you used to be nice to everypony but you got hurt. Please be nice, not for me but for you” The words echoed in my head ‘Please save yourself and forget about us.’ Luna hugged me and I could feel her warm tears on my back, I put my arms around her as well and cried. It was quite a while before I could talk again.

“Please help me I don’t want to lose myself again to the numbing pain of being lonely.” I looked in her blue eyes pleading her to help me.

“Sorry but that is something I can’t help you with you’ll have to decide to go back to that yourself, but can you do something for me, just one thing.”

“Yes what is it Luna.”

“Can you comfort my sister just this once, she needs you.”

“As you wish Luna.” I walked in to the room, Celestia was lying on the right side of the bed and she seemed to be sleeping. I looked at her face for the longest time her eyes were red from crying, and her mane was matted to her head from sweat. I looked at the left side of the bed and saw it was drenched in sweat.  It was as if this guilt was making her physically sick, I slowly made my way to her bed and draped six blankets over the left side to make it at least comfortable enough to sleep on. I lay down on the bed and wrapped my arms around Celestia’s body, she shudder but soon got comfortable and curled up with me to sleep.

It had been 3 days since I first comforted her but it seemed that she was getting worse and yesterday she tried to kill herself with my knife luckily Luna stopped her by grabbing the knife with her magic. Since Celestia became Arcane Mute by the situation she couldn’t stop Luna and she cried herself to sleep that night. She has ate barely anything since this happen, hell we had to once force feed her to make sure she didn’t starve. I want to help but how do I help her?  I knew how she was feeling since I have experienced it but where do I take it from there, well I guess I’ll just wing it.

“I know how you feel Celestia.” She looked at me with burning white eyes and she buck me square in the chest.

“How dare you compare what you went through to my experiences!” Before she could buck me again I grabbed her horn and pulled her head back then quickly took out my knife and held it to her throat.

“Oh really? You think you had it bad, well I’ll tell you what happen when I was a kid. When I was 4 years old my father started hitting me because I was misbehaving. I pleaded to my mother not to leave me with him but she did anyway this continued until I was 7 years old, when he unfortunately left bruises. We fled from the house to a Woman’s Shelter and stayed there for two months, and then we lived in a small apartment for two years the best two years of my life. We then proceeded to move to a small town and I got bullied till the end of 8th grade that was the day I beat the shit out of one of the bullies and they knew to leave me alone. Next year my mother dies of lung cancer so do you know how it feels to see your caretaker, the person who birthed you die right in front of you. I then ran away and proceeded to drift but I remembered to get my schooling and finished high school on time then I went to college and got the education needed to become a technician. I worked for two years then went to the military because I wanted to kill the people who bombed the World Trade Center. I got the highest scores in marksmanship and unarmed combat, so they stuck me in the front lines. My codename was ‘The Listener’ because I always listened to music while I fought; it seemed to make everything calm and peaceful for me so it was easy killing the enemy. I enjoyed five years of good service sadly all of my team got killed in an IED explosion two years earlier. I was in the Jeep with them but I was at the back can you imagine seeing 7 people you fought with, bleed with, and played with, explode a bloody mess and you being alive because you were too lazy to man the turret. So before you even think you’ve been through hell and think I don’t know how you feel, think of this moment and remember what I preserved through to get this far in life.”

“Oh dear Celestia I didn’t know he went through so much.” Luna said. To my surprise I found her, Twilight and John behind us. Celestia looked at me with tears in her eyes.

“How do you deal with the feeling? How do you deal with that feeling of numbness and depression?” I let her go and put my hand on her shoulders.

“You deal with it anyway you can, anyway that will make sure it doesn’t consume you. Oh and keep yourself very busy that always seems to help.” I patted her on the back and started to walk away when she grabbed me and kissed me on the lips my eyes widen in shock then as soon as she grabbed me she let go. She pulled away and smacked her lips.

“Hmm your saliva even tastes the same, I see both of you don’t brush your teeth. I like you James but take it from me your not my type. I didn’t want to impose on you or anything sorry if it seemed that way.” I was still in shock when everyone stared at Celestia as she exited the room. They’re eyes soon turned to me and I looked at them.

“What the hell just happened?”

“I don’t know. Hell sometimes I don’t understand my sister but I believe she wanted to know if you were as good a kisser as James was.”

“How good was he?”

“He was a terrible kisser the only thing he did right with his mouth was talk and eat.”

“Hmmm I wonder if I was better.”

“No you weren’t she had the same look of disappointment on her when she finished kissing you as she did for the other James.” I kicked the wall.

“Well damn I feel severely rejected I just got told by an eternal princess that I just wasn’t her type. Ha reminds me of high school.”

“How so?”

“Oh when I was in Grade 11 I asked a girl I like out and she said no. A year later I asked her why she said no and she told me it was because I wasn’t ‘social’ enough and some other bull shit.” I lightly chuckled at the fond memory. Twilight looked at me in curiosity. I sighed. “Listen Twilight if you have something to say then say it.” She blushed and smiled sheepishly at me.

“You...um... have great hair James no I mean you smell good. Never mind!” Then she quickly galloped out of the house. I looked at Luna.

“What’s up with her?”

“Well it would seem she umm... Likes you.”

“I know she likes me as a friend Luna but do you think she has a crush on me?”

“It would seem so James don’t worry though she’ll get over it.”

I chuckled. “I hope so because I have made a strict rule of not falling in love especially with a woman from a different dimension and species. No offense to you and John but I just don’t feel comfortable with the idea of bestiality.”

“Oh none taken. You can’t please everyone after all.” She chuckled as well. “Well I guess I better tell Twilight you’re feelings about this awkward situation.” She trotted away leaving me and John in the room together.

“So John what happened in your life and how old are you?”

“My life I don’t want to talk about but I can tell you my age. I was born on September 1st of the year 1990 so I’m about 22 years old. Best years of my life are ahead of me.”

“Well won’t you get bored.”

“Bored of what?”

“You know bored of eternal life and Luna.”

“I will never be bored of life when I have Luna so I’ll be good. Worst two months of my life are coming ahead as well.”

“Why so John? Please elaborate on the situation.”

“Well you see it’s a touchy subject for me and Luna and I don’t think she would like me sharing this with you.”

“Well why not?”

“Okay I’ll put the reason out there. This is what she said and I quote ‘If you still want a dick for the rest of your life you will not tell him.’ Sorry man but I have to save myself.”

“Okay well thanks anyway see you in the morning.” He walked out and I laid there, sleep came easily this night.

A/N: I just want you to know how much work I put in this book okay. This is my regular day I wake up go to my laptop and start typing at the same time I’m babysitting (My baby sister) so I am constantly preoccupied. I type as long as possible then I go to my bedroom and continue typing I usually stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning to finish a chapter. Listen people this is literally my baby I work damn hard to give you a chapter everyday and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Please all I want is some constructive comments and this is me on my knees grovelling. Tell me if there is anything you do not like about my book and that I should fix. Remember if you want something changed all you have to do is ask and I’ll fix it the best I can.  Again hope you like the book and follow me if you like also I ditched the ten thousand word chapter idea because I honestly think it will fuck up my story. I do all my writing on Microsoft Word so that is why I didn’t notice the paragraph issue until I asked around. Also I am going to make a cover for this book so it looks more professional.

PS. Chapter 7 is coming out on the same day as this chapter so I hope you enjoy a double dose of weirdness. :) And a little warning the next chapter has severe sexual innuendo and weirdness.