Oh, dear god, it's here! I've waited so long and it's finally...

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8eq08soOP1qesugk.gif

Now this is interesting. Let's see how it goes, shall we.

Alrighty, now that the excited screaming is out of the way and I've actually read the story...

Man, was this worth the wait. You really developed this concept of magi-tech far beyond what I've ever seen anyone else on this site do. I can already tell you've put an impressive amount of thought into it, and all I've read is the prologue. The universe you've partially revealed here just reeks of vibrancy and complexity, and the ponies themselves felt so genuine in their actions and motivations, it hurt.

I've always been a fan of your writing style, obviously, and this did not disappoint. The narrative you're developing here feels complex, what with the Council and all its mystery, yet graspable. I didn't feel confused at any point in time, only curious. And excited. On-the-ede-of-my-seat excited. Good god you have a talent of suspenseful setup. And the action scene... brilliantly crafted. It felt like I was reading a professionally published sci-fi novel I purchased from the the best seller aisle at Barnes, not a pony fanfiction.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You are clearly, at once, both one of the most talented authors on this site and possibly the most underappreciated. Hopefully the latter will change.

And yes, I realize I'm gushing quite a bit. I don't care. I've been looking forward to reading something else from you since I first read your other two stories, and this has just been an absolute treat, so far. Never stop. Ever.

New story by Karazor? But he's been so quiet...

It's a sequel to Dread Chitin?!

Image: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/218/3/6/another_twilight____thing_by_rizcifra-d5a3qql.gif

DO MEIN EYES DECEIVE ME? A sequel to Dread Chitin?

http://romaniz.deviantart.com/art/PRAISE-THE-CELESTIA-277968406

(The darn thing was 1500x768, wasn't exactly gonna post it on a comment)

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HOLY SHIT I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!

Aw, thanks, guys!  It'll be a while before the rest of this goes up; I posted the prologue in an attempt to break my writer's block, and sonuvagun it worked!  Hopefully the rest (once it's done!) will not disappoint.

I... I... I just finish reading Dread Chitin and the DAY AFTERWORDS THE SEQUEL COMES OUT?

I cannot express my happiness. I almost PRAYED for a sequel the day I finished the first story... and now you have answered mine wish. This is incredible, and I thank you.

The council sounds stupid, at best. No contact, just search and destroy? WHAT THE HELL?! Who in their right mind would do that? I mean, I know that its a pain in the ass to integrate some "lowly" species into their culture, but what the hell? Its a lot better than getting your teeth beat down, and your shit fucked up!

Oh, By the way. Enjoy your story. I love how you did this teaser, It was so fun to react and stare in astonishment at the other species who tried to destroy the Equestrian battle ship. It was even more funny to see their teeth get bucked down their throats. This was very, VERY, entertaining to read, and I enjoyed it fairly well. I can't wait for more! I'm so giddy with excitement!

>>10636011063601  Stupid? Maybe, but to me they sound like any number of historical human empires. Encounter a small, backwards nation that has potential to become a minor threat. First solution? Smash them. Hell, it hasn't been that many decades since USA did basically the same type of stuff in Central America. (Could actually be an intentional parallel, don't really know that part of the history that well. But it sounds something I could see cold war CIA doing. Trying to topple a potentially threatening regime. Get caught. Domestic scandal. Try to finish off the regime, after all, if the wronged party doesn't exist anymore, the repercussions are probably less.)

>>10997751099775

Pretty sure the council isn't human. Or, at the very least, isn't composed only of humans. That was my impression, though. Who knows?

...

We'll know. As soon as the frikkin' author releases the next block of chapters.

I write slow.  Sorry!  I've got the first three chapters of Reaching Sky pretty much done; I'm holding off for the fourth before I publish the next bunch.  I should have it done sometime this week, hopefully.

As to the Council:  I'm keeping their motives and composition mysterious for now, since the ponies have no idea what they are, who they are, or what they want.  I will point out that Equestria went from having railroads and early electric lights to having hypertech spaceships in a matter of less than a century, which came as one hell of a surprise.  It's like flying past an island nation and noticing that they're starting to build with bricks, and then the next time you cruise past they shoot down your plane with space-capable fighters that are better than anything you've seen before.

OK, time to comment this.

First: SEEEEEEQUEEEEEEL!!! YES!!!

Second: This battle was awesome. Even realistic.

Third: These Council agents in Equestria... Why I now thinking about Discord? Or Changelings?

I loved Dread Chitin, and I hope to enjoy this one too!

Edit: I do love it. I do wonder though if humans will ever make an appearance, and what the Equestrians response to know that their universe also has humans in it, humans that are not as friendly as Duran was.

Argh, why are the weeks so short?  I'd planned to be done with the first four chapters by now, but I've been busy at work (excuses!) and haven't made quite as much progress as I'd hoped.  I should have them up this weekend, barring me getting run over whilst walking home or some similarly unlikely phenomenon.

>>11364021136402

Hmm... maybe.  Maybe not.  Glad you're enjoying it this far!

>>11414561141456

Again, maybe!  I will say that the Council is a multispecies body.

Whew.  First block of chapters.  Sorry, I'd meant to have this done by Wednesday.

Welcome to Act I, the rising action!  It's slow-paced at first, but it picks up.  Hope you folks enjoy.

Gods of Fire, Man, Five chapters in the one update? You spoil us!

SO SPOILED MAN, HNNNNNGGGGGG... Loving it so far. I hope they are humans. But that is just me.

>>11601401160140 i also hoping for that would be so awesome

First contact? I CAME! I SAW! I JIZZED!

will we see this battle from an other perpespictive

Very realistic chapter. And I feel sorry for Rainbow Dash. You know, I always wonder, why, in almost all fanfics, she is so aggressive. But yeah, I also did not let Fluttershy say when Rainbow's soldiers can shoot and when not.

That’s not what they were supposed to do, by the way.  My protocol was to return fire immediately.

But this is an incredibly stupid protocol.

So, Rarity is a robot designer now? Hmmm, seems logical.

Rainbow never asked for-- *is shot*

Sorry for this off-topic question, but what happened with Cutie Mark Crusaders?

Image: http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/6a00d8341c68f553ef01310ff3f483970c-800wi_7998.jpg

You know me. I will come back to this post and edit it. I have, quite some thoughts.

Edit:

Probably better to do this on SB ^.^

OK.

First: FOUR CHAPTERS SPAM! WOHOOOO!

Second: this battle was absolutely epic!

Third: like Detective Chmilewsky, I also have hope  that they are humans. That would be hilarious:

- Hello, my species is called...

- Sweet Celestia and Luna ass - HUMANS!!!

- Emmm, did we know each other?

>>11624721162472

I'm guessing most if not all of them have died of old age at this point, but that's just a guess.

>>11601401160140>>11627921162792

I also hope that they're human, but the disorganized nature of their combat tactics suggests they aren't human or aren't soldiers. I'd like to think that we wouldn't be part of the bad guy conglomerate in this story... but a human armed navy would likely not have been disorganized. Outgunned, outteched, and outmaneuvered, sure. Disorganized?

Then again, this is AU. Maybe these humans aren't militant, a la Niven's humans that keep getting into fights with those overly aggressive cat aliens.. Or, perhaps, they are an outer-system militia that was putting up a last stand until the real military ships showed up.

Who knows?

We will! As soon as Karazor releases the next block of chapters! Hurry up you brilliant bastard! This story has me more on the edge of my seat than anything else I've ever read on this site. I can't even... there are no words... my sci-fi space opera boner is raging out of control.

>>11640491164049

(...)my sci-fi space opera boner is raging out of control.

That was hilarious!

Space opera FTW!

>>11640491164049 Either that, or the Ships could be an "Alliance of Traders United", formed to fight back against the onslaught of attacks at their wares from outside universes or empires trying to gain materials and resources.

ATU is a very good acronym for that. Yup.

>>11640491164049

Maybe they're human Space Volksturm, part of a desperate last line of defence by a human power running low on manpower, engaged in a brutal war of attrition?

A truly impressive and interesting story.

Development from the prequel/canon period is excellent, both in tech/setting and characterisation.

Not often that someone characterises the implications of starting from a ‘herd and prey’ creature rather than ‘pack and predator’ human origin. Although I hope this Fluttershy doesn’t plan on giving WMDs to people they are at war with.

Convenient way of keeping the mane cast through the time skip. Doubt it will come up in the story but I bet the reason they haven’t gone Alicorn is because they keep the EoH miles away inside a vault rather than close by, thus slowing the transformation.

The mechanics are, with a couple of exceptions, excellent.

Although the fact that they label a three kilometre leviathan as a cruiser has great and terrible implications. That is the kind of scale 40K works at.

Interesting that they use golems rather than mechs. Might prove a problem once they encounter foes smart enough to kill the medic controller first.

FTL. At first I thought it was great, a FTL method that can’t be massively exploited. Then you added two extra bits of into. 1) ‘Small’ jumps can be made in system. 2) No limits on arrival point. The first means that jump-missiles are viable and the second means that whoever ordered the cutters to system’s edge rather than keep them in Equestria’s orbit is a retard. It saddens me to see that the mane cast has been reduced to the level of the Twelve Colonies.

To be frank I think the second battle is the weakest point in the story (not that that is saying much). Too much Rules of Drama, it jars with the hard sci-fi theme the rest of the story has. Ships tougher than Interloper getting one-shoted, missiles being horribly inconsistent. An entire improbably sequence for the solo purpose of showing that Twilight is, surprise surprise, still the best mage alive.

In contrast to the first battle which managed to be clinical and sensible but still incredibly gripping and exciting.

Regardless I look forward to the next update.

Karazor, I really enjoyed The Dread Chitin and I'm really enjoying this.  I hope we see more of the Library Core tech in action, as I am a big BattleTech fan, in particular, I'd love to see some Equestrian BattleMechs.  Other than that, I always enjoy the way you write character interations, specifically Rainbow's concern about losing herself if she loses her last cutie mark and Rainbow's continued feud with Fluttershy.

Speaking of Rainbow, you mentioned her extensive cybernetic enhancements.  Is she a prototype Equus Dominus?

Whoo, looks like I've got a bit of replying to do!  Sorry I've been quiet, guys!

>>11618061161806

Rainbow's protocol comes from the fact that she's very protective of her soldiers.  She's more willing to risk herself than her Wardens, and she would rather they shoot back immediately and make her apologize later than take a chance at losing them.  Yes, I agree, it's a bad protocol, but under the circumstances I felt that it's the one she'd issue.

>>11622891162289

That's a Deus Ex reference, right?  Heh.  Dash doesn't have sunglasses implanted.  Though she might, if it were suggested.

>>11624721162472

No need to apologize!  They're dead of old age by the time this story takes place.  Scoots joined the Wardens once she was old enough; she still had problems flying, but she could fight on the ground just fine.  She was working with her hero and defending Equestria, how much better could things get?  Applebloom wound up working for Rarity in her practical engineering department; I could see her enjoying building robots and suchlike.  Sweetie Belle took up singing professionally, and was a successful holovid entertainer.  (Note that this 'holovid' would have been technological illusion spells much like the virtual screens, but it took the name from the BattleTech holographic technology.  Yay hybrid techbase!)

>>11638321163832

>>11640491164049

At this stage, I will not say whether or not humans are present in this story.  It amuses the heck out of me what folks think of the Council, though!  Hahahahaha.

>>11641161164116

I lurves me some space opera.  This story is fun to write.  Even if I'm writing slow.  (Sorry!)

>>11645021164502>>11653641165364

Watch me not say whether you're right or wrong!  Sorry, I'm being an ass.  The first contact scene will establish exactly who they are, though I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit.  I'm not sure how long Act II will take to write.

>>11680971168097

Thanks!  As I said in the SB thread, I need to do some revising on the battle scene; I'll probably do that this week.  It won't change the outcome or any of the major events, just some clarity and rewording.  Again, most of the reason Dauntless is so powerful compared to the cutters is her vastly greater size, on the order of twelve thousand times as large.  (A bit less than that, she's got a slimmer profile than the cutters do, but not too much less)  (For those of you going , remember that volume scales at the cube of the size difference)

>>11711091171109

Thank you!  I hope I'll be able to maintain that enjoyment.  There will definitely be some more interaction with the library-derived battle armor in the next chapter, which has been mentioned but not really described.  You've also sort of seen the Equestrian equivalent to 'Mechs; the technogolem.  It's part-heavy tank, part-robot, but it has its controller outside itself rather than inside.  The next generation is supposed to have space for the controller to sit in the torso, but Rarity hasn't managed to work out the kinks yet.

Other than that, Library Core tech and ideas is everywhere, from the rank structure to Rainbow's cybernetics.  She's a bit like the Manei Dominei, but her implants don't hurt and they don't drive her crazy.  She is a monster in a straight fight, though; her cybernetic limbs and dermal armor make her extremely resistant to small arms fire and nearly immune to blades or claws below a certain size, she's even stronger than she used to be, and she's got a primitive version of 40k lightning claws stored in her forelegs.  Pissing her off is dangerous.  There are one or two other ponies augmented like her in the Wardens, but it's not common, and it's not compulsory.  She'd never force anyone to do that.

>>11714791171479

Well, whether you put humans in or not, I'm utterly hooked on this story already, so it makes no difference to me. I will say, though, that it would be immensely fun to see how the mane 6 (particularly rainbow and twilight) react to seeing humans (or a human) again. More, in a situation where the ponies are now the ones who're technologically advanced badasses, and who likely feel a transitive moral impulse to protect and help the human(s)... to their/his/her great confusion, as they've never met these weird alien cyborg-ponies before in their lives.

Fun times. Get to writing.

>>11714791171479

One thing I like is that mental interface. The Equestrians actually feel like a technologically advanced civilization,rather than WWII but with spaceships. They are very distinct, and the combat feels memorable compared to other space operas.

Also, this council sounds like a bunch of Space Fascists out to take over the Space Subhumans for the Space Fatherland.

However, I have a question about those technogolems. Wouldn't they just have to take out the relatively unarmored controller to take out the vehicle? That seems like a major disadvantage. Of course, the Equestrians haven't actually had much pressure to develop their war tech, as they haven't had to face an enemy with comparable technology until just recently.

>>11714791171479

The implants haven't driven her crazy yet.  She mentioned that losing her Cutie Mark felt like losing some of her soul, so I figure she'll end up like a MD Zombie if she loses the other one, or her wings.  Basically she's teetering on the edge of insanity and one more trip to the O.R. could be the end of Rainbow Dash.

>>11716741171674

Yup, working on it.  Can't promise an ETA, though.

>>11722811172281

Thanks, I like to play with a little transhumanism to add some genuine science fiction flavor to a science fiction setting, because having everything be basically the same as modern Earth is just a little lazy to me.  I'm lazy, but not like that!

Golem handlers would be basically always wearing power armor, and the golem itself is supposed to operate with infantry backup.  Preferably power armored infantry backup.  I realize you haven't seen much of it yet, but Equestrian power armor isn't exactly a soft target, and the controller wouldn't necessarily be easy to pick out from the support squad.

>>11767911176791

Some of that feeling's psychosomatic; she did after all wake up to find pieces of her body gone, and she wasn't expecting it.  She's also a little more emotionally fragile than she pretends to be, not 'on the verge of cracking up' or anything, but she's not the total hardass she likes everyone to think she is.

But yes, losing her other leg would be psychologically bad for her.  Losing a wing would be a lot worse, since those can't be adequately replaced; I don't write pegasus wings as being fragile, (if you've read Foul Light, you'll remember she took a hit with her wings that would have broken her back and walked away with bruises)  they're actually significantly stronger and tougher than anything she could replace them with, and cybernetic wings would hurt her abilities badly.  That would negatively affect her psyche in a whole bunch of different ways.

We made it. Hyperspace jump complete, and the quantum wave effects have dissipated.

Somepony should have said that

>>11865511186551

Hm.  And if I had, what would you have expected when they got home?

>>11868721186872

Hmm, well, surely something very unpleasant, but not completely devastating. Kharak didn't have two alicorns watching over it, after all, and the story isn't labeled as Dark or Tragedy...

On the other hand, this could've been a fantastic false lead. Just imagine, the Dauntless and the Mane 6 have all kinds of fun in the neighbouring star systems, while the people are literally screaming at them: 'Damn it! Turn back! Check your homeplanet!' Then they finally arrive back at the Equestrian system and... nothing happens. Everything's all right. Phew. Oh no, that would be a too cruel joke on the reader))).

Honestly, perhaps that wasn't very relevant, but as they built that ship (an order of magnitude larger that anything before it), maneuvered it out of the dock, made their very first long-ranged FTL jump, etc., I just couldn't help having all sorts of flashbacks)

Calling it now, the council are human.

Anyway...

Solar flaring orgasms of Celestia! You are amazing!

I mean, just that one quick battle got my heart pumping!

I absolutely loved the first story, and I am really looking forward to more of this.

>>11871701187170

It would also have been a gigantic spoiler to anyone familiar with the first Homeworld.

As it is, you may, or may not, have supplied a spoiler for the story  Ooo, look at me, being all coy.

Though as a side note...  I'm genuinely flattered that this story could remind someone of something as genuinely magnificent as Homeworld.  Thank you.

>>11957681195768

Maybe, maybe not.  Without direct contact, that's going to be difficult to find out.

I think you handled the age thing expertly!

You were able to create a perfectly reasonable way for this to take place in the future without resorting to a completely OC cast of characters (with the mane 6 being long dead), or an extremely elderly mane 6.

Bravo good sir! Bravo!

Also, I know that on your last story I said "Best RD ever". Well I'm afraid I have to retract that statement.

THIS is the best RD ever!

P.S.

I know I forfeit a part of my soul with this next sentence but... Fluttershy is kind of a massive tool! (not complaining. It does make things more interesting)

And so it begins!

"and this time we’ll get a chance to talk!”

Fluttershy you fool. They did try to talk last time!

The aliens just like to talk with missiles.

>>11638321163832

Well, it's 89 years later, and they were around 10 in the show.

So if they aren't dead, they'd look pretty much like Granny Smith by this point.

Man, that could make for a really depressing scene...

Well, I'm all caught up now.

My body is ready for more!

>>12034131203413

Heh, we'll see how you feel about cyberDash after this next chapter.  Suffice to say that Fluttershy's got a reason for the way she acts toward Rainbow.  Reaching Sky's Rainbow Dash is, for a couple of reasons, a deeply, deeply angry person.  She's not a bad person, none of them are, but she is a very angry one.

>>12061261206126

Have to wait a bit, I'm afraid.  Working on the next block of chapters, but I don't write particularly quickly.

Chapter 5 has been edited.  Small changes, but I think they make it a bit better.

Holy hell this is excellent.

>>12338771233877

Thanks!  Still working on the next block of chapters, no ETA yet.

Wow, just wow. You are getting better and better and expanding this to a story that could get really magnificient.

Oh my god. Why doesn't this have more upvotes/views/comments? This is amazing, just as I've come to expect from you. I still list The Dread Chitin and A Foul Light Shines as two of my all-time favorite MLP fics, because they're actually plausible and engrossing despite being dark/crossover type fics. This definitely scratches my space opera itch. I laughed a bit when I saw that their high-tech exploration cruiser was named the Dauntless. Let me guess; the Council is actually Boskone? Heh, just kidding. They sure act like it, though.

Fantastic story. Got to be the best sci-fi themed story on this site. Great job, can't wait to read more.

>>12864621286462

Thanks, hopefully I'll be able to keep up the quality.

>>12917761291776

Because I'm obscure. (hipstertwist)  The people who've found me seem to mostly enjoy what I write, so I'm happy with that!

I actually had to Google your reference, there.  Believe it or not, I've never read any of the Lensman books, though I keep intending to.  The Dauntless name is a coincidence in this case; I was looking for a name that invoked exploration and courage.  My first choice was Intrepid, but then I realized that was the class name for Voyager and discarded it immediately.  I've got a huge pile of Star Trek references in this story already, but they're from TOS and Next Generation, and I didn't want to include more than I already had!

And do I ever love space opera.  This story is fun to write.

>>12921221292122

Thank you!

I've got two chapters mostly finished; I want to get a third done and then I'll post the next block.

It's been 3 weeks. Please update soon?

>>13048501304850

I write extremely slowly, unfortunately, a problem that's been exacerbated since I've been playing a game called FTL, which has been eating up a lot of time.  I'm hoping to have the next act, another three chapters, done by next week; I've got a lot of time this weekend, and I think I'll use most of it on Reaching Sky.

a sequal to dread Chitin

Image:  http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/16011001.jpg

wow....fluttershy's kinda a bitch now huh? :P

and now the fun begins

i was laughing my head off as i read that flashback

the puns are awsome

Image:  http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Punny_7a821c_3864137.jpg

i cant wait to see what happens next

Image:  http://pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134160684440.jpg

>>13195541319554

They're both a little bitchy; they've been feuding on and off for almost a century by this point, so they get pretty snotty with each other.

>>13198771319877

Hopefully, you won't have to wait long!

Small progress update:  I got a lot done today.  I'm at two and a half chapters, and I think I can finish the third tomorrow, so y'all can probably look forward to an update either late tomorrow or Monday.

Thanks for your patience!

And kerblam.  Act II.  Probably piss some folks off with this one.  Enjoy!

You know what's fun about this chapter?  I'd initially planned to have it mentioned that the Equestrian techbase is powered by outright magic, but when I was writing it I couldn't come up with a way for the subject to arise!  As far as the Tazaft are concerned, it's just Clarketech, and the Equestrians don't see any reason to mention it!

YEAH! Awesome!

Fluttershy is kinda an idiot, isn't she?

>>13277221327722

Nah, she just genuinely believes the best about others, and she's usually good about reading them.  It's just that this time she was catastrophically wrong, and Rainbow was being such a dick at the meeting that no one wanted to listen to her.

duran was a serial killer?that is...interesing i blame it on him being bald all bald people are crazy pyschopath that is a scientific fact

All of my praise; take it. All of it.

Outside the Reaching Sky has updated?!

I have, like, 15 unread favorites and was about to read them but when I saw this I was like: "Pffft, fuck that!"

Hm, rereading this chapter, it seems to me that Twilight's reactions don't track quite as well as I thought they did.  Will probably revise sometime this week.

*edit*  There we go.  Added a few more of Twilight's feelings, seems a little more genuine to me now.

The fact that you're not in the triple digits of likes is heresy. WE MUST FIND DEVIANT ARTISTS!!!

That went... surprisingly well, actually.

And by 'that' I mean both the first contact, and Twilight and Rainbow's talk.

I mean I was really worried about what was gonna happen with RD after the first contact, but I am super pleased with the results.

On last thing:

YES FLUTTERSHY! YOU WERE BEING A BITCH! THANKS FOR FINALLY REALIZING IT!

*ahem* that is to say, I'm glad Fluttershy is now aware of how her anti-Warden attitude is extremely hurtful and could even be perceived as hate.

Now, on to the final part of the update! Allons-y!

An update almost as big as everything else? My body is ready.

>>13286311328631

I'm actually fine with a small number of likes.  Especially since the current number of dislikes is zero. I know I've jinxed myself saying that, but I don't write for popularity; I write for fun and I share it hoping others will enjoy it too.

>>13286971328697

After fighting with Rainbow for almost a century, Fluttershy has some blind spots where the Wardens are concerned.  It just takes something fairly major to point them out to her.  Rainbow, OTOH, has some genuine psychological problems, including PTSD.  You probably noticed.

>>13287171328717

If I'd been able to get away with it, I would have just made the update the entire rest of the story.  But I think people were getting impatient.

And that went far worse than expected.

I think it was necessary though. Fluttershy needed to learn that the Wardens are there for a reason.

I doubt she'll object to having guards in the next first contact situation.

Also, this type of thing is exactly why I said RD in this story is best RD!

She is just the ultimate bad ass in every. possible. way. right down to her physical body!

Yet she manages to not be a mindless, soulless killing machine and actually genuinely feels bad if she bucks up.

OH, SHIT, SON.

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

A new genre has been born, "Equestria Fuck Yeah!" (similar to Humanity Fuck Yean"

Also, in relation to Duran and what he did, I cried. That is all I am going to say. This story has given me feels.

An excellent update as always.

I can't help but feel that they are going to end up learning some even more harsh lessons in the near future, but more than anything I get this sinking feeling that due to their technological might and combat capabilities, they might very well end up feared and avoided by many races once word gets out.

They have some tentative allies so far, but how long would that last when the new people on the block are terrors feared by the rest of the galaxy?

**Body writhes in ecstasy** Oh maaaan, three loooong chapters. Ghnnnnnnng.

Ahem.

Anyhow, I am really excited, and as I have said awhile ago, I still hope that since Duran and the N.A.I.S. were from two different realities, there might be another group of humans in this universe as well.

**Keeps his fingers crossed**

Either way, I love your story and the world building it has within it.

epic chapter is epic

Uh-uh, and this is why you don't bring along all your highest ranking officers to an important and potentially dangerous meeting.

Someone with an ultimate authority - not just your deputies and lieutenants - should stay behind and monitor the situation from the bridge.

Oh, and putting all of them in a single shuttle is asking for trouble, as well (like what happened to the late Polish president).

Ponies still have a lot to learn...

Karazor, you impress me with your writing skills.  I really enjoy your depictions of the psychological damage the Mane 6 have gone through and how it colours their current interactions.  I really wasn't expecting the revelation about Duran in the last chapter, and it's sad he lost it. In particular, I'm liking how you've described the effects of multiple lifetimes of combat on Rainbow Dash.

Keep up the good work.

>>13290311329031

Oh, yes.  Fluttershy made a couple of serious mistakes there, and that's going to gnaw at her.

Rainbow in this story is a seriously dangerous individual, but she hasn't gone around the bend the way Duran did, even though she's under massive strain.  That's mostly thanks to her family; she doesn't have one of her own, but she's been effectively adopted by Applejack's.

>>13295821329582

I was actually wondering how people would take the thing with Duran's backstory.  I'd hinted at it in my more recent comments on Dread Chitin, but I'm not sure folks realized what I was saying.  I will add this, though; he did not do the things he did out of malice, or because he liked it.  He was a very smart man with a mind more broken than his friends realized.

>>13296781329678

That's one of the roads they could wind up going down, yes.  It would be doubly tragic for that to happen, because while they've made mistakes, none of what has happened is their fault.  Everything goes back to one captain's hasty decision, and I'm not talking about Silver Stars.

>>13297641329764

Ah, you picked up on that implication.  Still not saying yes or no, though!

>>13303941330394

Yes, they do.  They're having to learn on the fly in an extremely high-pressure situation, and yes, that leads to some serious mistakes.

>>13308111330811

Thank you, I'll certainly try.  There's a wide range of psychological damage among the characters, ranging from a whole hell of a lot (Rainbow Dash) to almost none. (Rarity)  There's a reason Rarity's been the most level-headed and stable of the bunch, and why she's for the most part made better decisions!

One request: Please don't cripple Dash.

It's pretty obvious she's not gonna be up and about for their 'meeting' with the council fleet, and that means that if it does turn into a battle she won't be a part of it. I can live with that.

However, I would love to (at some point) see exactly what Dash is capable of (not counting things she's done in the past), and that won't be possible if she's out of commission for the rest of the trip.

I'm sure they brought plenty of spare legs.

Your characterization of Rainbow. I love it.

Image: http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/Renegade_Interrupt_zpsce353f1f.png

...I keep trying to come up with someone to compare RD to and can't find anyone suitably badass.

Here's five Renegade Stars for the best interrupt ever.

Image: http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/ren_star_small_zps30f5b544.png

Image: http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/ren_star_small_zps30f5b544.png

Image: http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/ren_star_small_zps30f5b544.png

Image: http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/ren_star_small_zps30f5b544.png

Image: http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/ren_star_small_zps30f5b544.png

and now fluttershy has finall learned her lesson

another brilliant chapter

That was sad. So very, very sad. Poor Rainbow, her life was and still is a hell.

Damn, this Duran history was great and scary.

And Fluttershy is a totally idiot. She really thinks that every alien in galaxy will be her/their friend. This is not her homeworld where everything is cute and adorable. THIS IS A FUCKING SPACE!!! How someone so naive could be a Chief o Dyplomacy?!

>>13309441330944

The story's already planned out, so requests won't change anything, but I will say that I have no plans to cripple Dash.  She's had a hell of a lot worse than this before; they have the technology.  They can rebuild her!  In seriousness, their medical tech is pretty solid, and they've got healing magic besides.  Her injuries were all to limbs; no vital organs, no major nerves, though both of those would be fixable in any case so long as they got her into the operating room still alive.   She'll be back on her feet before too long.  And I do have another action scene planned for her.

>>13310101331010>>13310431331043

Heh, thank you.  I hadn't really thought about it, but the renegade thing actually does fit pretty well in this case.

>>13311851331185

Thank you as well!

>>13313561331356

Rainbow's life isn't that bad, though it has been fairly hard.  She does have a support structure; both the Wardens as a whole and Applejack's family, who consider her basically a favorite aunt.  She's just got a crapload of built-up emotional baggage because of the things she's refused to talk about.  Regarding Fluttershy: she got caught offguard.  She is used to dealing with hostile creatures, the problem here was that these guys... weren't actually hostile.  Not until Rainbow showed up and took away the sacrifices meant for Heaven.  Other than that, she wants to believe the best of others, and she is genuinely convinced that if she gets a chance to talk to the Council, then she can fix things.  She is a bit naive, though, and in this case it got people killed.  People she knew.

It's funny that the ship that's been giving the Council so much trouble isn't even a primary combat ship.

I shudder to think what 6 Pony destroyers would do to the Council.

This only re-enforces what the Tazaft said: The Council is scared of the Ponies... and they should be.

Of course for all I know, all the Council ships the Ponies have seen have been the worst of the worst, but I like to believe that the Ponies really are the most technologically advanced because it makes it more fun! (Although I'm secretly afraid that I'm wrong... and the Council is just getting started )

>>13321711332171

Those destroyers would be bad news.  You actually aren't seeing Dauntless's full capabilities; Equestrian ships are more like Council ships than they are like Tazaft ships.  They're supposed to operate in groups, and they're far stronger in a group than they would be individually, much like the Warden cutters in the prologue were.

Eklsee knew what it was talking about.  The translator made it sound less intelligent than it was; it is a very intelligent and perceptive being, and you should definitely pay attention to what it said.

“Rainbow, Fluttershy’s presented her reasoning, and it seems sound to me.  I’m going to authorize it.”

That... is a horrible idea. I mean, even two would be enough to defend them until extraction. Argh, and they're sending down two top government officials with no guards. Fluttershy is being such an asshat. If this gets anyone killed, she is directly responsible for their deaths. The possible gain from not sending two guards, marginally reducing the chance of the natives attacking, is outweighed by risking the lives of two top officers.

And someone died. I saw that coming. Congratulations on killing a few diplomats, Fluttershy.

At least now she won't do something that stupid again. I hope they won't lose too many more crew members before they learn to not take suicidal risks.

32 thousand words on update.

And all of it excellent.

>>13327631332763

One would probably have been enough, actually.  Warden armor is pretty much immune to the level of weaponry those creatures had, so a single Warden could probably have charged into the middle of them and tied them up while Fluttershy's group ran.

Applejack, by the way, is furious, at both Twilight and Fluttershy over the way they acted.

>>13337321333732

There's a reason these take so long.

And thank you.

Oh god... this is so good... holy shit. I'm just sitting here, having read all 3 chapters in a dazed combination of edge-of-my-seat excitement and seething, burning jealousy at the raw writing talent contained within these humble pages.

On the one hand, I'm incredibly happy to have been following you since soon after your posting of A Foul Light Shines. On the other, I kind of wish I'd just run across you so I could spend every day of the rest of the week just reading these amazing stories you have here for the first time all over again.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: U writes real gud. And I hope you don't stop.

Anyway, if you ever publish a non-fanfiction space opera, please, please, please let me know. I'll want to pre-order the hardcover. If I couldn't put your fanfiction down long enough to have a civilized meal with my lady, I shudder to think what a published work will read like.

Damn it, I'm gushing again... look what you do to me, you magnificent bastard!

Anyway, can't wait to see what happens with that fleet confrontation... your council is starting to remind me a lot of The Counil from Mass Effect. Also, really hoping there's humans in this so I can see how they all react to each other.

>>13351381335138

Ha!  I'm far too shy to actually ask money for anything I write.  I'm also too shy to share the original work I do, as opposed to fanfiction.

You'll have answers in the next update: this is a three-act story, and two of the three are done.

Have you submitted this story to EQD? I'm sure it would get accepted.

>>13406781340678

Nah, I figure if they weren't interested in Foul Light then they probably won't be interested in this one.