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Karazor

Joined November 2011
324 followers

Stories (3)

  • The Dread Chitin
    Dimension travelling with Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash

    63,107 words · 6,542 views · 731 likes · 15 dislikes
  • Outside the Reaching Sky
    Equestria's first interstellar journey
    106,310 words · 4,966 views · 379 likes · 7 dislikes
  • A Foul Light Shines
    Rogue Trader vessel visits Equestria
    87,887 words · 4,254 views · 326 likes · 10 dislikes

Eighty years after the events of The Dread Chitin, Equestria is a radically different place.  The arcane science of the late Duran Thirk and the information found on the Star League library core have combined to catapult the nation's science ahead by hundreds of years.

Now, facing the possible aggression of a completely unknown alien power, Twilight Sparkle and her friends have to gather together once more, leading a crew of the best ponies they could assemble in a voyage outside their own star system.  They seek to learn about their potential foe, to explore the galaxy around them, and possibly find allies and friends to stand alongside them.  Who knows what they will actually find?

First Published
8th Aug 2012
Last Modified
26th Oct 2012

Comments ( 324 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 112w, 13h ago · · ·

Oh, dear god, it's here! I've waited so long and it's finally...

#2 · Chapter 1 · 112w, 13h ago · · ·

Now this is interesting. Let's see how it goes, shall we.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 112w, 12h ago · 2 · ·

Alrighty, now that the excited screaming is out of the way and I've actually read the story...

Man, was this worth the wait. You really developed this concept of magi-tech far beyond what I've ever seen anyone else on this site do. I can already tell you've put an impressive amount of thought into it, and all I've read is the prologue. The universe you've partially revealed here just reeks of vibrancy and complexity, and the ponies themselves felt so genuine in their actions and motivations, it hurt.

I've always been a fan of your writing style, obviously, and this did not disappoint. The narrative you're developing here feels complex, what with the Council and all its mystery, yet graspable. I didn't feel confused at any point in time, only curious. And excited. On-the-ede-of-my-seat excited. Good god you have a talent of suspenseful setup. And the action scene... brilliantly crafted. It felt like I was reading a professionally published sci-fi novel I purchased from the the best seller aisle at Barnes, not a pony fanfiction.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You are clearly, at once, both one of the most talented authors on this site and possibly the most underappreciated. Hopefully the latter will change.

And yes, I realize I'm gushing quite a bit. I don't care. I've been looking forward to reading something else from you since I first read your other two stories, and this has just been an absolute treat, so far. Never stop. Ever.

#4 · Chapter 1 · 112w, 10h ago · · ·

New story by Karazor? But he's been so quiet...

It's a sequel to Dread Chitin?!

#5 · Chapter 1 · 112w, 7h ago · · ·

DO MEIN EYES DECEIVE ME? A sequel to Dread Chitin?

http://romaniz.deviantart.com/art/PRAISE-THE-CELESTIA-277968406

(The darn thing was 1500x768, wasn't exactly gonna post it on a comment)

#6 · Chapter 1 · 112w, 24m ago · · ·

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HOLY SHIT I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!

#7 · Chapter 1 · 111w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Aw, thanks, guys!:twilightsmile:  It'll be a while before the rest of this goes up; I posted the prologue in an attempt to break my writer's block, and sonuvagun it worked!  Hopefully the rest (once it's done!) will not disappoint.

#8 · Chapter 1 · 111w, 5d ago · · ·

I... I... I just finish reading Dread Chitin and the DAY AFTERWORDS THE SEQUEL COMES OUT?

I cannot express my happiness. I almost PRAYED for a sequel the day I finished the first story... and now you have answered mine wish. This is incredible, and I thank you.

#9 · Chapter 1 · 111w, 5d ago · · ·

The council sounds stupid, at best. No contact, just search and destroy? WHAT THE HELL?! Who in their right mind would do that? I mean, I know that its a pain in the ass to integrate some "lowly" species into their culture, but what the hell? Its a lot better than getting your teeth beat down, and your shit fucked up!

Oh, By the way. Enjoy your story. I love how you did this teaser, It was so fun to react and stare in astonishment at the other species who tried to destroy the Equestrian battle ship. It was even more funny to see their teeth get bucked down their throats. This was very, VERY, entertaining to read, and I enjoyed it fairly well. I can't wait for more! I'm so giddy with excitement!

#10 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1063601  Stupid? Maybe, but to me they sound like any number of historical human empires. Encounter a small, backwards nation that has potential to become a minor threat. First solution? Smash them. Hell, it hasn't been that many decades since USA did basically the same type of stuff in Central America. (Could actually be an intentional parallel, don't really know that part of the history that well. But it sounds something I could see cold war CIA doing. Trying to topple a potentially threatening regime. Get caught. Domestic scandal. Try to finish off the regime, after all, if the wronged party doesn't exist anymore, the repercussions are probably less.)

#11 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1099775

Pretty sure the council isn't human. Or, at the very least, isn't composed only of humans. That was my impression, though. Who knows?

...

We'll know. As soon as the frikkin' author releases the next block of chapters.

#12 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 3d ago · · ·

I write slow.  Sorry!  I've got the first three chapters of Reaching Sky pretty much done; I'm holding off for the fourth before I publish the next bunch.  I should have it done sometime this week, hopefully.

As to the Council:  I'm keeping their motives and composition mysterious for now, since the ponies have no idea what they are, who they are, or what they want.  I will point out that Equestria went from having railroads and early electric lights to having hypertech spaceships in a matter of less than a century, which came as one hell of a surprise.  It's like flying past an island nation and noticing that they're starting to build with bricks, and then the next time you cruise past they shoot down your plane with space-capable fighters that are better than anything you've seen before.

#13 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 5h ago · · ·

OK, time to comment this.

First: SEEEEEEQUEEEEEEL!!! YES!!!

Second: This battle was awesome. Even realistic.

Third: These Council agents in Equestria... Why I now thinking about Discord? Or Changelings?

#14 · Chapter 1 · 109w, 6d ago · · ·

I loved Dread Chitin, and I hope to enjoy this one too!

Edit: I do love it. I do wonder though if humans will ever make an appearance, and what the Equestrians response to know that their universe also has humans in it, humans that are not as friendly as Duran was.

#15 · Chapter 1 · 109w, 5d ago · · ·

Argh, why are the weeks so short?  I'd planned to be done with the first four chapters by now, but I've been busy at work (excuses!:pinkiecrazy:) and haven't made quite as much progress as I'd hoped.  I should have them up this weekend, barring me getting run over whilst walking home or some similarly unlikely phenomenon.

>>1136402

Hmm... maybe.  Maybe not.:trollestia:  Glad you're enjoying it this far!

>>1141456

Again, maybe!  I will say that the Council is a multispecies body.

#16 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

Whew.  First block of chapters.  Sorry, I'd meant to have this done by Wednesday.

Welcome to Act I, the rising action!  It's slow-paced at first, but it picks up.  Hope you folks enjoy.

#17 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

Gods of Fire, Man, Five chapters in the one update? You spoil us!

#18 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

SO SPOILED MAN, HNNNNNGGGGGG... Loving it so far. I hope they are humans. But that is just me.

#19 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1160140 i also hoping for that would be so awesome :pinkiehappy:

#20 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

First contact? I CAME! I SAW! I JIZZED!

#21 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

will we see this battle from an other perpespictive

#22 · Chapter 2 · 109w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Very realistic chapter. And I feel sorry for Rainbow Dash. You know, I always wonder, why, in almost all fanfics, she is so aggressive. But yeah, I also did not let Fluttershy say when Rainbow's soldiers can shoot and when not.

That’s not what they were supposed to do, by the way.  My protocol was to return fire immediately.

But this is an incredibly stupid protocol.

So, Rarity is a robot designer now? Hmmm, seems logical.

#23 · Chapter 2 · 109w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Rainbow never asked for-- *is shot*

#24 · Chapter 4 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

Sorry for this off-topic question, but what happened with Cutie Mark Crusaders?

#25 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

You know me. I will come back to this post and edit it. I have, quite some thoughts.

Edit:

Probably better to do this on SB ^.^

#26 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

OK.

First: FOUR CHAPTERS SPAM! WOHOOOO!

Second: this battle was absolutely epic!

Third: like Detective Chmilewsky, I also have hope  that they are humans. That would be hilarious:

- Hello, my species is called...

- Sweet Celestia and Luna ass - HUMANS!!!

- Emmm, did we know each other?

:rainbowlaugh:

#27 · Chapter 4 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1162472

I'm guessing most if not all of them have died of old age at this point, but that's just a guess.

#28 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1160140>>1162792

I also hope that they're human, but the disorganized nature of their combat tactics suggests they aren't human or aren't soldiers. I'd like to think that we wouldn't be part of the bad guy conglomerate in this story... but a human armed navy would likely not have been disorganized. Outgunned, outteched, and outmaneuvered, sure. Disorganized?

Then again, this is AU. Maybe these humans aren't militant, a la Niven's humans that keep getting into fights with those overly aggressive cat aliens.. Or, perhaps, they are an outer-system militia that was putting up a last stand until the real military ships showed up.

Who knows?

We will! As soon as Karazor releases the next block of chapters! Hurry up you brilliant bastard! This story has me more on the edge of my seat than anything else I've ever read on this site. I can't even... there are no words... my sci-fi space opera boner is raging out of control.

#29 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1164049

(...)my sci-fi space opera boner is raging out of control.

That was hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

Space opera FTW!

#30 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1164049 Either that, or the Ships could be an "Alliance of Traders United", formed to fight back against the onslaught of attacks at their wares from outside universes or empires trying to gain materials and resources.

ATU is a very good acronym for that. Yup.

#31 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1164049

Maybe they're human Space Volksturm, part of a desperate last line of defence by a human power running low on manpower, engaged in a brutal war of attrition?

#32 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

A truly impressive and interesting story.

Development from the prequel/canon period is excellent, both in tech/setting and characterisation.

Not often that someone characterises the implications of starting from a ‘herd and prey’ creature rather than ‘pack and predator’ human origin. Although I hope this Fluttershy doesn’t plan on giving WMDs to people they are at war with.

Convenient way of keeping the mane cast through the time skip. Doubt it will come up in the story but I bet the reason they haven’t gone Alicorn is because they keep the EoH miles away inside a vault rather than close by, thus slowing the transformation.

The mechanics are, with a couple of exceptions, excellent.

Although the fact that they label a three kilometre leviathan as a cruiser has great and terrible implications. That is the kind of scale 40K works at.

Interesting that they use golems rather than mechs. Might prove a problem once they encounter foes smart enough to kill the medic controller first.

FTL. At first I thought it was great, a FTL method that can’t be massively exploited. Then you added two extra bits of into. 1) ‘Small’ jumps can be made in system. 2) No limits on arrival point. The first means that jump-missiles are viable and the second means that whoever ordered the cutters to system’s edge rather than keep them in Equestria’s orbit is a retard. It saddens me to see that the mane cast has been reduced to the level of the Twelve Colonies.

To be frank I think the second battle is the weakest point in the story (not that that is saying much). Too much Rules of Drama, it jars with the hard sci-fi theme the rest of the story has. Ships tougher than Interloper getting one-shoted, missiles being horribly inconsistent. An entire improbably sequence for the solo purpose of showing that Twilight is, surprise surprise, still the best mage alive.

In contrast to the first battle which managed to be clinical and sensible but still incredibly gripping and exciting.

Regardless I look forward to the next update.

#33 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

Karazor, I really enjoyed The Dread Chitin and I'm really enjoying this.  I hope we see more of the Library Core tech in action, as I am a big BattleTech fan, in particular, I'd love to see some Equestrian BattleMechs.  Other than that, I always enjoy the way you write character interations, specifically Rainbow's concern about losing herself if she loses her last cutie mark and Rainbow's continued feud with Fluttershy.

Speaking of Rainbow, you mentioned her extensive cybernetic enhancements.  Is she a prototype Equus Dominus?

#34 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

Whoo, looks like I've got a bit of replying to do!  Sorry I've been quiet, guys!

>>1161806

Rainbow's protocol comes from the fact that she's very protective of her soldiers.  She's more willing to risk herself than her Wardens, and she would rather they shoot back immediately and make her apologize later than take a chance at losing them.  Yes, I agree, it's a bad protocol, but under the circumstances I felt that it's the one she'd issue.

>>1162289

That's a Deus Ex reference, right?  Heh.  Dash doesn't have sunglasses implanted.  Though she might, if it were suggested.:rainbowlaugh:

>>1162472

No need to apologize!  They're dead of old age by the time this story takes place.  Scoots joined the Wardens once she was old enough; she still had problems flying, but she could fight on the ground just fine.  She was working with her hero and defending Equestria, how much better could things get?  Applebloom wound up working for Rarity in her practical engineering department; I could see her enjoying building robots and suchlike.  Sweetie Belle took up singing professionally, and was a successful holovid entertainer.  (Note that this 'holovid' would have been technological illusion spells much like the virtual screens, but it took the name from the BattleTech holographic technology.  Yay hybrid techbase!)

>>1163832

:eeyup:

>>1164049

At this stage, I will not say whether or not humans are present in this story.:trollestia:  It amuses the heck out of me what folks think of the Council, though!  Hahahahaha.

>>1164116

I lurves me some space opera.  This story is fun to write.  Even if I'm writing slow.  (Sorry!)

>>1164502>>1165364

Watch me not say whether you're right or wrong!:trollestia:  Sorry, I'm being an ass.  The first contact scene will establish exactly who they are, though I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit.  I'm not sure how long Act II will take to write.

>>1168097

Thanks!  As I said in the SB thread, I need to do some revising on the battle scene; I'll probably do that this week.  It won't change the outcome or any of the major events, just some clarity and rewording.  Again, most of the reason Dauntless is so powerful compared to the cutters is her vastly greater size, on the order of twelve thousand times as large.  (A bit less than that, she's got a slimmer profile than the cutters do, but not too much less)  (For those of you going :rainbowhuh:, remember that volume scales at the cube of the size difference)

>>1171109

Thank you!  I hope I'll be able to maintain that enjoyment.:twilightsmile:  There will definitely be some more interaction with the library-derived battle armor in the next chapter, which has been mentioned but not really described.  You've also sort of seen the Equestrian equivalent to 'Mechs; the technogolem.  It's part-heavy tank, part-robot, but it has its controller outside itself rather than inside.  The next generation is supposed to have space for the controller to sit in the torso, but Rarity hasn't managed to work out the kinks yet.

Other than that, Library Core tech and ideas is everywhere, from the rank structure to Rainbow's cybernetics.  She's a bit like the Manei Dominei, but her implants don't hurt and they don't drive her crazy.  She is a monster in a straight fight, though; her cybernetic limbs and dermal armor make her extremely resistant to small arms fire and nearly immune to blades or claws below a certain size, she's even stronger than she used to be, and she's got a primitive version of 40k lightning claws stored in her forelegs.  Pissing her off is dangerous.  There are one or two other ponies augmented like her in the Wardens, but it's not common, and it's not compulsory.  She'd never force anyone to do that.

#35 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1171479

Well, whether you put humans in or not, I'm utterly hooked on this story already, so it makes no difference to me. I will say, though, that it would be immensely fun to see how the mane 6 (particularly rainbow and twilight) react to seeing humans (or a human) again. More, in a situation where the ponies are now the ones who're technologically advanced badasses, and who likely feel a transitive moral impulse to protect and help the human(s)... to their/his/her great confusion, as they've never met these weird alien cyborg-ponies before in their lives.

Fun times. Get to writing.

#36 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1171479

One thing I like is that mental interface. The Equestrians actually feel like a technologically advanced civilization,rather than WWII but with spaceships. They are very distinct, and the combat feels memorable compared to other space operas.

Also, this council sounds like a bunch of Space Fascists out to take over the Space Subhumans for the Space Fatherland.

However, I have a question about those technogolems. Wouldn't they just have to take out the relatively unarmored controller to take out the vehicle? That seems like a major disadvantage. Of course, the Equestrians haven't actually had much pressure to develop their war tech, as they haven't had to face an enemy with comparable technology until just recently.

#37 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1171479

The implants haven't driven her crazy yet.  She mentioned that losing her Cutie Mark felt like losing some of her soul, so I figure she'll end up like a MD Zombie if she loses the other one, or her wings.  Basically she's teetering on the edge of insanity and one more trip to the O.R. could be the end of Rainbow Dash.

#38 · Chapter 5 · 109w, 22h ago · · ·

>>1171674

Yup, working on it.  Can't promise an ETA, though.

>>1172281

Thanks, I like to play with a little transhumanism to add some genuine science fiction flavor to a science fiction setting, because having everything be basically the same as modern Earth is just a little lazy to me.  I'm lazy, but not like that!

Golem handlers would be basically always wearing power armor, and the golem itself is supposed to operate with infantry backup.  Preferably power armored infantry backup.  I realize you haven't seen much of it yet, but Equestrian power armor isn't exactly a soft target, and the controller wouldn't necessarily be easy to pick out from the support squad.

>>1176791

Some of that feeling's psychosomatic; she did after all wake up to find pieces of her body gone, and she wasn't expecting it.  She's also a little more emotionally fragile than she pretends to be, not 'on the verge of cracking up' or anything, but she's not the total hardass she likes everyone to think she is.

But yes, losing her other leg would be psychologically bad for her.  Losing a wing would be a lot worse, since those can't be adequately replaced; I don't write pegasus wings as being fragile, (if you've read Foul Light, you'll remember she took a hit with her wings that would have broken her back and walked away with bruises)  they're actually significantly stronger and tougher than anything she could replace them with, and cybernetic wings would hurt her abilities badly.  That would negatively affect her psyche in a whole bunch of different ways.

#39 · Chapter 4 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

We made it. Hyperspace jump complete, and the quantum wave effects have dissipated.

Somepony should have said that :pinkiehappy:

#40 · Chapter 5 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1186551

Hm.  And if I had, what would you have expected when they got home?:pinkiesad2:

#41 · Chapter 5 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1186872

Hmm, well, surely something very unpleasant, but not completely devastating. Kharak didn't have two alicorns watching over it, after all, and the story isn't labeled as Dark or Tragedy...

On the other hand, this could've been a fantastic false lead. Just imagine, the Dauntless and the Mane 6 have all kinds of fun in the neighbouring star systems, while the people are literally screaming at them: 'Damn it! Turn back! Check your homeplanet!' Then they finally arrive back at the Equestrian system and... nothing happens. Everything's all right. Phew. Oh no, that would be a too cruel joke on the reader))).

Honestly, perhaps that wasn't very relevant, but as they built that ship (an order of magnitude larger that anything before it), maneuvered it out of the dock, made their very first long-ranged FTL jump, etc., I just couldn't help having all sorts of flashbacks)

#42 · Chapter 1 · 108w, 4d ago · · ·

Calling it now, the council are human. :pinkiegasp:

Anyway...

Solar flaring orgasms of Celestia! You are amazing! :rainbowkiss:

I mean, just that one quick battle got my heart pumping!

I absolutely loved the first story, and I am really looking forward to more of this.

#43 · Chapter 5 · 108w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1187170

It would also have been a gigantic spoiler to anyone familiar with the first Homeworld.

As it is, you may, or may not, have supplied a spoiler for the story:raritywink:  Ooo, look at me, being all coy.

Though as a side note...  I'm genuinely flattered that this story could remind someone of something as genuinely magnificent as Homeworld.  Thank you.

>>1195768

Maybe, maybe not.  Without direct contact, that's going to be difficult to find out.:trollestia:

#44 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

I think you handled the age thing expertly!

You were able to create a perfectly reasonable way for this to take place in the future without resorting to a completely OC cast of characters (with the mane 6 being long dead), or an extremely elderly mane 6.

Bravo good sir! Bravo! :pinkiehappy:

Also, I know that on your last story I said "Best RD ever". Well I'm afraid I have to retract that statement.

THIS is the best RD ever!

P.S.

I know I forfeit a part of my soul with this next sentence but... Fluttershy is kind of a massive tool! (not complaining. It does make things more interesting)

#45 · Chapter 3 · 108w, 3d ago · · ·

And so it begins! :rainbowkiss:

"and this time we’ll get a chance to talk!”

Fluttershy you fool. They did try to talk last time!

The aliens just like to talk with missiles.

#46 · Chapter 4 · 108w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1163832

Well, it's 89 years later, and they were around 10 in the show.

So if they aren't dead, they'd look pretty much like Granny Smith by this point.

Man, that could make for a really depressing scene...

#47 · Chapter 5 · 108w, 3d ago · · ·

Well, I'm all caught up now. :pinkiesmile:

My body is ready for more!

#48 · Chapter 5 · 108w, 9h ago · · ·

>>1203413

Heh, we'll see how you feel about cyberDash after this next chapter.  Suffice to say that Fluttershy's got a reason for the way she acts toward Rainbow.  Reaching Sky's Rainbow Dash is, for a couple of reasons, a deeply, deeply angry person.  She's not a bad person, none of them are, but she is a very angry one.

>>1206126

Have to wait a bit, I'm afraid.  Working on the next block of chapters, but I don't write particularly quickly.

#49 · Chapter 5 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

Chapter 5 has been edited.  Small changes, but I think they make it a bit better.

#50 · Chapter 5 · 107w, 5d ago · · ·

Holy hell this is excellent.

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