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Something has gone wrong, Royal Flush has gone missing! Trebass suspects a mysterious sharply dressed pony he meets in the book store that Royal Flush was last seen in. He decides to leave the stranger alone, but soon regrets it when he finds out that he's been seen around a toy store where a foal has gone missing. Can Trebass unravel the mystery of this new stranger in town?
(CONTINUED FROM "A Different Kind of War")
>>1048170 I actually wrote this before I left for a camp I had to attend. The reason being that I wanted a story to be approved while I was gone. Unfortunately, I be finishing "A Different Kind of War" Before I continue "The Mare in the Woods." Sorry about that 
So far, this is looking to be the best of your stories.
Let me begin with spelling and grammar. As usual, you have sparse errors that could be cleaned up with editing. And as usual, you have run-on sentences. I would read up on run-on sentences, since that seems to be your most common error.
Your prose, though, seems good. I would say focus on getting rid of exposition, and describe Trebass' feelings a bit more, and then it'll read REALLY good. BUT THAT'S JUST ME.
Your atmosphere was good, your characters are really good, and I'm very intrigued in your story.
I won't delve too deep into a review of this; just know that I think this is turning out to be the best of the bunch.
I wish you the best of your talents with this story.
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Well, I don't wanna spoil anything.... So I won't. But I'd like your guys' feedback when I've completed the entire story.
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