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Fluttershy has feelings for Rainbow Dash. Love? No. A crush? Maybe...
Wonderbolt trials await Rainbow Dash. What better way is there for Fluttershy to get closer to her crush by attending Rainbow and helping her during the tralls?
Written by DinoManDraves
Edited by FlutterDash7, xXAzn_BoiiXx
Yay, more FlutterDash 
So far, the story seems promising and I'll definitely be tracking it. I see it's another "Wonderbolts or Love" kind of stories, which I've seen quite a few of. Although, you can go anywhere with this s tart, and I'll be sure to be along for the ride!
And as always, DLUTTERDASH FTW 
Awwwww, Fluttershy's in love! 
So cute! What a splendid idea for her to go along with Rainbow Dash for support. I mean, she went with her back to Cloudsdale to prepare for the competition, so it seems just about natural that she would go with her for this!
And it's true, Fluttershy really is that kind of pony you can talk to and actually feel comfortable in doing so, knowing she'll listen to you and won't judge you, but will tell you what you need to know, blunt as it may be sometimes. And Rainbow Dash can really use that kind of support network. Seriously, I hope season three will showcase this some more... But until then, we'll always have fanfics! 8D X3
Well done so far, yet again! I'm looking forward to what's to come. 
>>1086631 I know how you feel. In my own personal bubble, I would be ECSTATIC. But to be realistic and in regards to canon, there's no way it's going to happen and frankly, it would be a bad idea in GENERAL to do ANY shipping within the Main Six. 
I could go on forever about why, but I won't. The point is, it just wouldn't work.
But at least we'll have them as friends.
>>1086799 this is my opinion about the ship appearing in the show;
Just wondering... but does “I was just going to visit Pinkie. - from Twilight, when Pinkie had just ditched Rainbow Dash's company hint at anything between the two mares?
Very cute ending to the chapter. I liked Rarity's entrance and her prying... may the feelings develop
Thanks! Any suggestions in writing style/format/ ect... Was it easy to read?
Thanks!! I know it's a lot to ask, but I want to keep getting these stories out to you guys in the best way possible... if that's okay with you (I feel like I'm demanding, which makes me feel 
)
If so, then I gotta work on the dialogue.
Hmph. I re-read the chapter looking for the Spongebob reference, and I couldn't find it. I'm a failure at life. 
Although, if I had to guess... Is it the part with the traveling pirates? It seemed pretty random, but it could also just be Soarin' exaggerating the importance of his pie. Well, I noticed two mistakes while I was reading.
1) "Have I told you what the challenges and trails are like?"
- I assume it should be trials rather than trails.
2) "What is that Rarity,"
- The sentence should be "What is that, Rarity?" Since it is a question.
I think the dialogue is fine, so you don't really have to fix it. But then again, that's just my opinion, so it's up to you. Future suggestions... Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash travel through a time vortex to find they've been launched into the distant future where there is an epic pony war over Equestria! Yeah, as you can see, I've got nothing. If I do think of something, I'll tell you, but right now I can't think of anything. Oh well, I look forward to future updates. 
And as always, FLUTTERDASH FTW
This story so far looks great! Not too much to criticize. The dialogue was the biggest standout for me, it seemed... well, awkward. It seems as though you focus on the unimportant bits of a conversation, small talk and pleasantries, while skimming the important stuff.
“ 'Oh yeah, that’s right! The veggies in these sandwiches, you grew them didn’t you?'
'Yes. I have always enjoyed gardening so I thought I would give it a whirl. What do you think?'
'I think they are amazing! These are so much better than any restaurant I’ve ever been to!'
'Maybe I’ll make some for the road on your trip up to Cloudsdale. You leave tomorrow, right?' Fluttershy offered, perfectly in form to her usual kindness.
'Yeah... Tomorrow night, in fact. You don’t have to do that!' Rainbow replied, delightfully munching on the homegrown vegetables.
'But I want to Dash! I can really see you like them,' She giggled as Rainbow reached for another sandwich.
'Well, I guess I’m not stopping you. Cause’ they are that good!' "
In this example we find small amounts of exposition and plot development, but buried in small talk and awkward compliments. While you write that they are close friends and they can say whatever to each other, their dialogue seems limited by formalities and compliments. It seems Rainbow is restating that Fluttershy is a good cook, and Flutters is restating her concern for and willingness to help Rainbow Dash. Then you go on to skim over the (what i would imagine would be) important stuff,
"The pegasui shared a few stories and laughs as the minutes passed by. The moment was spent in the manner that only two best friends could enjoy; both felt immeasurably comfortable with sharing their feelings. After some prying, Fluttershy would open her personality a great measure; certain that Rainbow would understand."
Instead of writing out a conversation between best friends, where we get to hear Fluttershy's feelings, you merely state that such an event occurred. So in short, it seems you write out the awkward conversation starters and offhand compliments, but then skip the important dialogue that would show that the two are comfortable with each other. Other than that though, i did not find much to criticize (of course, this is partially because I have not read much of your work so i cant recognize many patterns that show throughout your writing, or any bad habbits that could be corrected). Thumbs up from me
>>1086648 Personally, I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on why the mane six couldn't be paired. I have no real thoughts on the matter yet, and you have a way with reason and logical debate.
I understand all of your points and after rereading it, it totally does feel awkward and out of place! So now I'm driven to fix it! 
I'm rewriting all of the dialogue between Dash and Fluttershy; skipping the pleasantries as you said and focusing more on their friendship. The whole thing kinda skipped by head. Will fix!
Thanks for your input! I would really appreciate it if you could reread the chapter after the rewrite (it will be republished) and offer some input... If that's okay with you
In my personal opinion, I don't criticize chapters that often, or do I? I dunno, the important thing is that this story, this story my dear sir, is a flutterdash story and most likely will have RD and Flutter shy as a couple. Every one reading comment: Well duh, Captain Obvious. Me: Well, no need to be rude. It IS a flutterdash story. Just obviously pointing it out on the web to everyone else. People: Why? Me: Because sometimes you just feel like selling something. People: What? Me: And that is how I wiped out the dinosaurs. DinoManDraves: YOU killed all my brothers and sisters? Me: MUFFINS! :Xanazumaki: Hey! That's my joke! Navi: And there my muffins! Everyone: What the.... why would... what?
Can I count you in for feedback in the future chapters?
Found one error:
“Oh I’m so happy for you! It’s great that you finally found a special somepony! But darling, are you said that she is leaving?”
Last sentence should be this. V V
"It's great that you've found a special somepony! But darling, aren't you sad that she is leaving?"
When I re-read this for like the third time I was like
I can't wait for more, one thing I will critique is that Fluttershy seems a bit ooc, but I'm probably just being an arse.
CONTINUE ON WITH THY QUEST
Very compelling and keeping your readers intrigued with the rewrites! It's nice to see the edits that we did with your story! Keep at it man!
This came to mind when Fluttershy said Dash was the coolest
All aboard the Train of Tears, next stop Eternal sadness, I gotta baaaaaaad feelin' bout this
Sidenote: loved it, can't wait for MOAR
Wow, this was pure good! Nothing to criticize here... Moving along. (I sure hope that you notice I don't like criticizing. I just do that to help people.)
Awesome one!
The title is a bit different. The title is "We're in this together" and the song's title is "We're all in this together"
Thank god they are different.
Said the true gentleman.
Soo cute. D'aww
I like Rarity a lot more now. <------ "You Don't Say?"
You might think.But, aww come on. She helped Fluttershy to come closer to Rainbow Dash. I know it is a fiction. But after a little thinking. That is exactly what Rarity would have done.
Wow, you have such skills with idea and editing. I am bad at it. Anyways, I am impressed a lot. You can help him a lot. I am jelly.
To Author:
I am only a Proof-read. So I can only help with the grammar and spellings. Sorry!
I see your writing style now. Conversation and thoughts are your primary things. (no offense, just pointing it out.) And I have no trouble with that. No typos were seen. Although, some grammar mistakes. I have the "Grammar Critisicm zone" OPEN to help you out.
"Grammar Critisicm zone is OPEN!"
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash each created several sandwiches
It was supposed to be "made". While "made" and "created" both mean the same thing. But, their usage is different. Like: I made sandwiches for you, I made him happy, I made some friends. etc. It is mostly used for person's emotions or group of people. Something like that.
Created is for more advanced things: I made a robot, I created this house <------ (The house thing applies in Minecraft only. It is a creative game.). etc. It is usually used for making something advanced or making an invention. Not food.
“I guess I have a way *missing word here* animals. Big or small.”
"I guess I have a way with animals." is the correct one. Because, leaving at "way animals" is raw. And the actual reason of having ways with animals is missing.
Not sure if it is has grammar mistakes: (these can be put down by anyone replying to me explaining why they are not/are.)
You totally conquered your fears!
"Overcame" seems much suited for it. Cause, it means of overcoming or beating something of his/her worst fears. May also mean many other things. Although, conquered might still work, it only seemed less suited for me.
And my favorite lines:
Fluttershy is not a pony to judge or spread gossip.
I soo totally loved this line. So true. Fluttershy is pure innocent and cute. Awesome work on this!
Oh... I didn’t hit him that hard! If I went full-force, he would have cried out of that cave!
I laughed at this one. It was really funny. RD lying because trying to be cool, is cool.
Once again. I am really enjoying your story a lot. Awesome one I say! On to the next one...
Alright, this chapter......
Downright made me laugh!
And the funny thing is, I thought this was a different story because I was to lazy to read the title of the story, so when was reading the first little bit, I was wondering what the hell was going on, so I scrolled up and saw it was your story. 
Being assertive the whole time but not assert in that situation or the backwards? Backwards is better.
But I still felt really happy for Fluttershy. Thank god the author wasn't that huge sadist.
Umm..... did you think it was a clop fic?
Then it is getting interesting then.
To author:
D'aww soo cuute. I have once again been emotionally dragged.
Gonna read the other one right now! Cause I can't wait for it. But, I can't read the next one without leaving a constructive critisicm right?
"Grammar Critisicm is OPEN!"
------>“<------You know how tomorrow is your last day before you leave. Are you doing anything special? <------
You forgot to put " at the end. Those arrows weren't there. I just added them to let you notice it. Not sure if "how" is a grammar mistake. I think it will make more sense to more people if you remove it. But that's just me and I am not sure.
it’s too much too fast.
2 "too"s here. I know it may seem understandable for some people. But it will be hard for other people to understand. If you remove one of them it would mean it is too fast for her. Meaning only 1 thing even if you remove any of them. But if you add "and" between them, like: "it's too much and too fast." then it would mean both of them and most importantly make more sense to many people. Which is better than removing 1 of "too".
"Spelling Critisicm is OPEN!"
payed ------> paid = wrong conversion of past tense.
Not much critisicm to give here. And the story was neat and hearthwarming. Gonna read the next one now!
If that is called sick... You are not alone. 
To the author:
The more I keep continuing through chapters, the more I don't want to add constructive critisicm. Because, I am too excited about what's gonna happen.
CAN'T WAIT! SCREW the constructive critisicm. I am reading the next chapter! (I also didn't notice any grammar or spelling mistakes.)
Wow! Thank you!
I hope you notice that comment was for chapter 1
I did put some few criticizing in the other comments. But, it is okay right?
They go in order like: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3... etc.
I should have just typed "Nothing to criticize in chapter 1... Moving along" or something like that.
But, I am giving my final rating here:
Idea 5/5 - It's idea was pure awesome and D'awww. Loved it!
Pacing 5/5 - The pacing is really good. Not too fast, not too slow.
Spelling/Grammar 4/5 - Sorry. Most of them were grammar mistakes. (To be precise 1 spelling and others are grammars.)
Overall - Grammar is the only problem. I am guessing your Proofreader proof-read the spellings, but not grammars? (I am not saying that your Proofreader sucks. He/she is good. Only 1 spelling.) Other than that. This is pure aweso-D'awww-sauce here! I don't mind spelling and grammars that much too. So, 5/5!
Also, I wonder when the next chapter is coming...
Nah, I am sure I can wait patiently.....
Duh, I really need to read it ASAP..... I can't wait... But I will have to... 
(no offense to anyone except myself.)
I wish if I can give multiple likes. Or give 5 stars on the rating system......
moar....... This video is all that need to be said.
But in all seriousness, great chapter. Can't wait for more!
Will fix those grammar mistakes and the spelling! Thanks so much for helping out! Really appreciate it! I do make a lot of mistakes sometimes, but they are all really easy to fix. Most of time.
I do work on this with my other proof-readers over google docs if you wanna join in one time.
So yeah, thank you sir or ma'am.
Expect more in the future. And thanks, yet again, for helping out
I don't know. Apparently I write sad stuff sort of well. I don't know, I'll give it my best shot. I intend it to be a serious moment. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it off.
You should be proud of always bringing a smile on my face with your images. You seem to have one for everything I write
WOW! Thanks for your kindness and appreciation. I am glad to have helped.
And thanks for calling me sir. If you haven't noticed. I am male.
You actually want me to join?
Well, I can proof-read but, I have a little problem... Of course, I am in the "Proofreaders and People willing to proof-read"
Because, at first I thought I was good enough for it. But, then I noticed a blog. Which is why that blog contained the things I need to know. So I was like . I know, I should use dictionary or something like that quickly and get working. But, I am not sure.
As you can see. I am a foreigner (non english or american.). And because, of that. I do not know what comma, punctuation or any other things like that means .
I know it seems lame. But, I am a foreigner. And, I have no record of proof-reading anyone's story. Because, I was afraid to screw it up or something. Although, I can still proof-read...
Enough about me now. And, if you still want me to join. I will be happy to help with your grammar and spelling.
I will read your other stories too. Is this the correct order: Living the present, hoping for the future And then The Adventures of Tank and Angel?
And, once again. Thanks for your appreciation. (And calling me a sir. 
)
Oh... upon looking back at my comment. I think I gave you a misunderstanding. That comment is like "I have a problem. But, if you want me to. Of course, I will join. Because, it means a lot to you"
Actually, I would love to help. I have "proof-read" some stories. (something like I did on this story. By using the comment section)
Because, in the group. It has been assumed that if you proof-read someone's story before and that author says you're good. Then I will be at least accepted and will help me restore my position in the group. I have joined the group. But, after looking at requirements I was . So, I can't just leave the group like ditching or an "arsehole". So, I was kinda stuck. If I get permission from you to help you. I won't be stuck.
Anyways, I WILL help you... that is if you want to...
EDIT: 
!
Oh my... your "Living the Present, Hoping for the Future" has lots of chapters and they aren't short too.
Looks like it will take some time to read all of them and give feedback. And I can't simply keep posting for each chapter like I did here. And when I give feedback. I will have to point chapter numbers and explaining why/why not which will result in a long comment post. So, expect a long comment post.
Anyways, you are creative. Awesome!
Keep writing!
My face whilst reading this
Image: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120427024009/vampirediaries/images/3/36/Happy_gif.gifThis is pure gold
Yay update! I require MOAR! 
I love the detail. You do a great job at writing stories. Keep it up!
My reaction to this story.
Points for anyone who can find something reminiscent to the title in this chapter!
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