It has a wolf in it... I am interested...

>>10477421047742 Agreed

Well, a wolf is certainly a change from an all-powerful alicorn. Shame bronies these days don't understand the finesse that creating a true OC requires.

"Hurr Durr, I am the long lost sister of Celestia. I am an all-powerful human alicorn thing, and it is compulsory for all of the Mane 6 to love and sex me."

Ugh. Anyway, not a bad fic so far mate, keep at it! Please don't let it sink into regular HiE slop. Good luck!

Is he hungry like the wolf? I like that song.

Also good story I'm liking.

Fenrir, the giant wolf spy. Seems legit, doesn't it?

On a serious note, I like the concept of the story and it is well executed so far, so I'll add it to my favorites and see what future chapters will bring.

Some of Fenrir's action don't seem so plausible, because they were stupid as hell and everybody with a brain should be able to do better. For example trying to knock off AJ's hat. You are a giant wolf, damnit, how do you think she would react if you do that?

Anyways, apart from the stupidity, I am liking this so far.

Ahhhh...barrels....now I'm obsessed with this story. Well Played.

You sir have peaked my interest

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw6260-80072lyraartistsolarslashheartstringsmonoclereactionfacetea0L110.png

“Let’s do this! LEEEERROOOOY WIIIINGIIINSS!” ................. I think I love you.

“I am here because Twilight Sparkle is best pony. You have been taught by the sovereign ruler of –“

You forgot to bold that.

I liked it write more please

Sweet a wolf,a real wolf to be precise instead of the Timberwolf.

>>10488501048850 Exactly...

This was awesome, I hope to read more in the future.

This is so confusing, has he been a wolf for years now or something? He's acting like he has, way too calm and familiar with his own body. And his character is really weird, he seems less like a..."normal" person and more like somebody who's specifically RPing as some powerful, sagacious wolf. It feels like you could just take out the "this wolf was once a man" aspect of it and the story would be better off.

>>10487161048716

Fixed, thanks for pointing that out. I write these chapters on Word before pasting them here, so I have to go through the whole chapter over again to bold his lines. Personally I think it works better than having him talk in all CAPS, but it is a pain to do.

>>10490761049076

Yes, the fact that he didn't use to be a wolf hasn't been explained well enough in the story itself. The way I see it, he feels dislocated from the body he's in and is acting like it is all a dream. You have noticed how erratically he's acting and how human his mannerisms still are, a fact Spike caught up on,

In short; The premise of the story is the conflict between the wolf and the human, so let's say there's enough wolf in him to make it easy for him to move around.

>>10480061048006

How giddy would you be if you suddenly found yourself in Equestria? Yes, the thing with the hat was stupid for a reason, mainly because the character needs to show that he's not good with controlling impulses for the rest of the story... or I just added it on the spot while I was writing the story, whichever works.

>>10496001049600

Alright, you've convinced me, I'm curious to see how this is gonna develop.

Fuck yeah  wolves are awesome!

>>10496891049689

Would you look at the time... it's time for pony!

Continue..........

>>10497011049701 As always!

>>10479181047918

I'll have to admit that every single one of my stories is basicly just an OC showing up and fucking up the canon cast's life. You could say I have exerience in creating OC's, but this story just basically stemmed from me asking "What would happen if a brony got turned into a wolf and woke up in Equestria?"

Something I decided to put into paper when National Pony writing month rolled around.

>>10479181047918

Also, what defines regular HiE slop? I haven't read too many of those fics, so I don't know the pitfalls to watch out for.

>>10499341049934

Here is a list:

http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=20&thread=3515

>>10504121050412

Thanks, hadn't seen that yet. I actually think I dodged most of these purely by chance, with the possible exception of the amnesia part. I haven't decided how I present Fenrir as a character.

>>10504551050455

It's a good thing that you waited before showing us what he is like. Info-dumps are boring, and it was good to see that you present his personality through his interactions rather than just telling us.

>>10505431050543

I don't even get how it's possible to "tell" about someone's personality. You can say someone has a short temper, but if you don't have him snapping in anger at someone, or hear his inner dialoque on contemplating murder, then it's just text from the author about the character... and that's stupid.

>>10479401047940 I second this.

>>10481971048197

Seriously, why mention barrels? Are you by any chance a part of the bro army? I can honestly say no barrels had anything to do with the making of this fic.

Your comment has perplexed me and the brightest minds I could get a hold of for quite some time.

>>10507671050767

I used barrels as an expletive(cuss,swear,etc) because, yes I'm part of the bro army. Now please, update this story.

>>10520631052063

3663 words into the second chapter. I have the strange writing style of not setting anything in stone before I write, but hating to rewrite anything, so it takes a while as I occasionally stop and ponder if I should leave something in, or add something else. Usually it works out.

This is looking to be rather good, Liked and Tracked!

Who trots in next Sleipnir?

>>10528721052872

I do not plan on this being an asgardian family reunion. Anyways, Jörmungandr is busy eating his own tail. He's a little... special.

Fenrir was the first name that came to mind when I started thinking for names, so why not have the transformed brony do the same? I still haven't decided if he has any other abilities or powers, aside from being a huge effin wolf, so the name Fenrir might be just a coincidence, or not.

Aside from a few grammatical errors, I'm enjoying the heck out of this! Carry on!

Also, I really enjoyed Dash yelling "Avenge me!". Don't know why I find that so funny.

Mistakes:

Big Mac answered with a court “Nope.” <-- Should be "curt", I think.

Fenrir said in what sounded like a clam tone ... Don't think I need to point out the typo there.

And there were one or two others but I seem to have lost track of them. Fantastic.

Either way, it might be worth looking through this once more.

>>10537041053704

Fixed, these things tend to slip by me. Glad you liked the story, I am quite shocked by all the positive feedback I'm getting.

>>10479181047918

actually, alicorn OC's are not that bad, if not made omnipotent and aren't shameless self-inserts...

Then again, that's like saying "Bad OC's aren't that bad, if you just give them a personality, flaws and... you know what, if you just make them good OC's"

I can't help it; every time I see or hear the phrase "more than meets the eye" I immediately think transformers.

It's likely that the people who downvoted this probably did it without reading the story or didn't make it through the first chapter. Don't worry about pleasing everyone on the internet.

I'm slightly confused... Still great though, but AppleDash is ruining this for me... X =

>>10570641057064

I added it on a brony whim and decided to leave it, since Fenrir was one. I'm not sure if there will be any truth to it, but there's a chance I'll stick with it.

What are you confused about?

>>10571031057103 Just some series of events, I'm rereading it to see if i can make sense of it...

Edit: Ok, i got it.

P.s. I'm a Guy.

NOM NOM NOM!!!

>>10568861056886

Or they might have been scared off by the whole insuated AppleDash thing. I left that in, since it was a whim of my brony self, so why not have a brony who's a huge wolf assume the same? The one thing I honestly think makes this story look like a self-insert, but I decided to keep it.

you love me, you really, really love me!

Still kind of shocked by the positive feedback this story is getting.

Wolf? Coool!

Uh oh. Dark and Tragedy tags?

Run!

You know something, I imagine Fenrir's voice to be exactly like Bane from The Dark Knight Rises. It's got that playful menace and erudition that one expects from a creature much bigger than a pony.  

In other news, I like what I read with its marvellous OC and excellent dialogue.

PS: You know what must do now. Find ways to stick in Bane's lines (You know the ones) in Fenrir's mouth.

>>10572781057278

Actually, I'm one of the few people that haven't seen the movie yet (theaters are EXPENSIVE) but if you're talking about "When Gotham lies in ashes, you have my permission to die" or "You adopted the darkness, I was born in it" then those have been floating around the internets for a while.

But go ahead, quote the lines you mean. It would be a fun challenge to incorporate them into the story, or just have Fenrir doing it intentionally for shits and giggels, he was a brony after all.

I'm glad you like my OC and love that you deem my dialoque to be adequate.

>>10572771057277

Well, as cool wolves are, they tend to be carnivores. equestria is full of fat, meaty herbivorous and half of the other wildlife can talk, so it's not an ideal place for a huge wolf.

The tragedy and Sad tags are for the later parts in the story, but to be honest I wasn't sure what to tag this, like, at all.

>>10537041053704

Also, I feel obligated to tell you that the "AVENGE ME!" bit is greatly inspired by a rifftrax of a movie called Red Dawn. I haven't seen the movie itself, but if you check out the rifftrax, you'll be laughing your ass off and know why I put it in.

Actually, I just ripped the line and the over the top way it is screamed from the rifftrax of an old movie.

>>10574001057400

Well, I don't want to spoil the movie, so three Bane lines is all you get...for now.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear."

That's one and not that spoileriffic. Not that specific, either. In fact its a bit generic. Let's give you two more nicer quotes.

"Ah, yes... I was wondering what would break first... Your spirit, or your body?"

"It doesn't matter who we are... what matters is our plan. No one cared who I was until I put on the mask."

And. There. You. Go.

Hopefully, Fenrir can get some ponies to do the chant either at dawn or when he talks to Celestia.

>>10574161057416

Sure but a sentient wolf should be able to find something in stead of eating ponies.

I mean I like hamburger but if Betsy cou play chess with me I would  eat fishburgers.

Just ask fluttershy! XD

>>10575341057534

Just how much fish would it take to sate the appetite of a hyperactive giant wolf? When Ponies are herbivores and thus do not have any need for fish, or any kind of meat. The sheeps they farm for wool can talk, the cows they use for milk can talk and are canadian. Even almost all of the predators we've seen can talk, or emote feelings the same way humans do. The human part of him would be against eating almost anything in that world, but sure, if he could get enough fish, then fine, but he's way past waiting for food.

Also, there was the point of Fluttershy being surrounded by wounded animals... so, bring ing a hungry carnivore anywhere near that would be a remarkably bad idea.

I think you should run this through spell checker you keep getting (q,p,b,d and g)  confused other than that great story waiting for more

>>10581161058116

Yes, I've heard that on all of my other fics as well It might be that english isn't my first language, or just my generally sporatic writing style that makes this happen, but it bothers me to no end. I've been re-reading the chapter after punlishing it and find more and more obvious grammatical errors that frankly piss me off.

WHY MUST I BE SO SCATTER-BRAINED, WHY?!

Edit: It even happened on this freaking comment! GOD DAMN IT! What perverse pleasure do you gain from doing this?!

Why does all the intresting fics that I read late at night instantly update the minut I I finish the last chapter

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png

Well there goes sleep. "Godbye Sleep!"*waves*

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

Okay, so I didn't notice too many grammatical errors worth mentioning.

Really enjoying this so far! The internal conflict of your OC is quite interesting, as is most internal conflict in a story.

I would like to see more description though. Perhaps try and personify the surroundings a bit to add to a particular atmosphere you might be trying to create?

And as for those three people that down voted? To hell with them. Haters gonna hate.

>>10572781057278

Completely agree with you there. All of it.

Image: http://zipmeme.com/uploads/generated/g1342754681796683122.jpg

>>10717921071792

Approves of what? The possibly homicidal OC? The ponies' tentative suspicion of him and his motives? Fenrir nearly killing the CMC?

thanks for the fave and interesting gif, though.

>>10718481071848 Snape approves of the update ya dumb. Now give me moar or suffer the wrath of this guy.

Image: http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/11/batman.gif

Can't wait for more.

>>10725041072504

Don't hurt yourself. On a related note; As awesome as Zecora is, I hate her with a passion of a thousand suns right now...

>>10725331072533

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-I7ZzGdQHI84/TWJTInzlHEI/AAAAAAAAAEY/ZH3UWWeV2Lw/s1600/plasticknife.jpg

Huh what you say?

>>10726421072642

Zecora's rhyming is hurting my brain... meh.

>>10726551072655 Your efforts at writing do not detain. The next chapter I'm sure will entertain.

>>10726641072664

You are a cruel, CRUEL man...

>>10726711072671I'm causing someone mental pain

:rainbowdetermined1:

>>10782241078224

Wut?

sorry testing out :I

poop

>>10842891084289

Now you are causing mental confusion. You are a horrible person for doing it.

>>10845721084572

awesome gif!

Also, thanks for faving the story. There will be an update soon, probably today.

I can just see the CMCs initial realization that it was a giant wolf...

Image: http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/cmcwaaaahh.gif

Just makes me laugh! Anyway, aside from some minor spelling errors, I find this to be fairly well written and enjoyable. I know I for one will be following this story.(laughs) Not like you couldn't figure out from my name, I am partial to woofs!

Now I got to thinking about the few negative marks on your story. It confounds me a lot, especially since the same thing happened to the story I am writing. At first it confuzzled me a lot, but then I figured...

Image: http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/26440__safe_pinkie-pie_animated_princess-cadance_a-canterlot-wedding_haters-gonna-hate.gif

Now knowing this, there is only one thing we can do against these internet trolls!

Image: http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/ABLOVETHESHIT.gif

Keep up the great work, I know I will be waiting with baited breath for the next installment!

NOOOOO! Fenrir!

>>10862841086284

well, he did attack a fully grown dragon and then showed up on Fluttershy's yard drenched in blood...

>>10862931086293

True, but everyone seemed to forget that fluttershy has the allmighty power of the stare to stop him if anything got out of control

>>10863251086325

A wolf several times your weight and height drenched in blood does funny things to a pony's capacity to reason.

I think that was a bit much considering fluttershys personality but it was awesome

moar

>>10863631086363

And what personality is that? The one that talked down a dragon after it inconvenienced her friends? the personality that went freaking feral when exotic critters wouldn't be friends with her? The personality that berated, beat and covered in garbage several ponies after getting a few lessons from a buff minotaur?

>>10863421086342

The lack of flaws in your reasoning defeats me

Image: http://iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/RarityFaint2.gif

>>10865111086511

you and your flawless use of pony gifs. You defeat me.

>>10863791086379 >>10863721086372

Fluttershy is much stronger than people give her credit for, the whole thing reminded me of this:

Fluttershy Origin by Dreatos

>>10867661086766

Truer words have not been spoken. FLuttershy is best pony right now. I honestly didn't plan on the whole scene at the end, but I just ended up vomiting it out anyways. Yes, that is how I write; I vomit the foul contents of my mind onto digital paper.

"over to an errand piece of cloud" That ought to be "errant," errands are what you do when you go shopping for food.

"sounds of the battle had seized" Ceased, not seized.

Other than that, everything checks out. Me fucking gusta.

>>10868331086833

Fixed, english is not my first language and I had no knowledge of the difference between "errand" and "errant". The more you know and all that

I'm glad you fucking gusta, I fucking gusta as well, I believe everypony should fucking me gusta.

>>10868551086855 I wouldn't have guessed, you could pass for a native speaker. Not many of us know the difference between errand and errant either, if they're aware those words exist at all. They're not exactly commonly used by most people under the age of 40 or so, I've noticed. But that makes us too cool for them.

I also agree with your other sentiment. All ponies should fucking me gusta.

>>10869621086962

There's a joke floating around the internets that the ones that can actually write with any decent grammar are either foreigners, or english teachers, I am one of those things and I don't spend most of my day with children.

>>10869751086975 I could pass for a grammar teacher, and I don't spend my days with anyone at all... Especially children, I hate children. If I was the wolf, I probably would have eaten the CMC.

So I have question did Fenrir actually kill any griffons because that seems like murder :O

I also think you should check your grammer other than that it's still a great story and needs to be more popular

>>10871021087102

At least a singular griffon was snatched out of the air, and died in the process of being eaten by a feral Fenrir. The Dark tag is there for a reason and at least a part of Fenrir is a sosiopathic killer.

Yeah, the grammar is what it is and I do edit the chapter if I catch any while re-reading the chapter. A fresh set of eyes pointing them out would also help *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

Nice

Well this is getting more and more interesting. Don't forget that wolves can go weeks or months without food, I can't remember which but it's one of them. Not sure how it would affect him though since humans can go four weeks, I think, without food, but I don't that I'd last a week personally, much too used to having two or three meals a day. Though I'm not sure how it would work on an animal of his size, there's supposed to be some form of equation for calculating how much food an animal requires and I'm not sure how it would work with a spirit animal.

Flutterrage is best pony.

I'm glad someone realized he was there for help, and not to attack. Silly guards, not listening to the best animal tamer this side of Everfree.

I privately hope that Princess Luna will appear and put Fenrir through her patented werewolf training so that he can control himself when he's hungry, like she did in Song of the Moon- otherwise the dragon population is going to take a sudden dive.

>>10905601090560

I intend to have Princess Celestia interrogate him and talk to the brony, the hyperactive jokester. I like the idea of Luna coming to him in the night and talking to the Hunter, that killed the dragon. Luna talking to the Hunter with the intelligence and knowledge of the brony at his disposal, spinning half-truths and poking at her own insurrection when questioned about his rampage in the Everfree.

>>10895121089512

True, but that only means that feral wolves can stay on their feet and hunt for a few weeks without food. A wolf with a mind of a human and with a need for the higher brain-function socializing within a society takes, would have to keep his hunger satiated. Especially if those you have to socialize with start looking more and more like snacks the hungrier you get. Then there's his size and possible status as a incarnation of a mythological beast, so his hunger is on complicated hurdle to overcome.

Just thought I should point out that Fluttershy has blue eyes. Not green ones.