• Member Since 8th Nov, 2015
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

RisuUmbra


Sometimes you just have to break T̶̝͐ḩ̴̎ḙ̴̃ ̶̫́L̸͎̊a̷̤̿w̷͕̔s̷͓͘ ̵̚ͅo̵͔͑f̴̯͆ ̷̫̏P̸͇̚h̴͇̄y̶̗͐s̸͕͘i̵͖̒c̷̹̽s̵̀͜

E

Anon has lived in Equestria for a year now and has a prospering business as an Event Planner but he would throw it all away for one mare Pinkie Pie, he would even give her his heart which would be hard as she hates his guts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contains Pink ponies, brotherly dragons, a shipping cult, and a wild purple smart... enjoy!

(WARNING! Is old and very cringy, read at your own peril)

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 57 )

Why does Pinkie hate him?

9427670
You’ve seen her almost go insane when her friends wouldn’t go to her parties and get mad jealous when she though cheese sandwich was replacing her so this isn’t far off of what would happen if she didn’t understand immediately

Break up your paragraphs more. Or at least make them shorter. Just a little friendly criticism. I still like the premise.

I love this please make more!!!:pinkiehappy:

9427956
Thanks for the tip
I’ll gladly take it into account :twilightsmile:

9429541
I’m so happy your enjoying it!
I’ll happily make more :twilightblush:

9427670
i think because pinkie thought she got dumped?

Some typos, gather the others, not the other XD, well, good chapter, now things will start to heat up

I been looking forward to this

The ending has me hyped lol

I'm intrigued to see how somebody writes a Pinkie Pie that hates somepony.

I never would have expected such a cute pony to hate anyone. Im still gonna rub her belly.

Please vruh,an update?

9543798
Sorry life has been stupid but the next chapter will be up soon so don’t worry :scootangel:

Not bad, would be fun though to see the next chapter showing Pinkie Pie's point of view as she had lunch and talked with Anon; here's hoping it will show Pinkie that Anon is not a bad guy or worth her hate?

9560259
Yeah having a different view would be good. Love to see Pinkie's side to all of this.

Thanks for the chapter! Dont worry, we understand ... I just had 3 midterms today.:pinkiecrazy:
Take aaaaaaaaall the time you need.

Holy run-on sentences, Batman!
Good idea, but you should probably focus on sentence structure.

This needs a few rounds of proofreading. You have huge chunks of sentences that should be multiple smaller ones, no commas where there should be commas, and multiple characters talking in the same paragraph.

Woot your back! Thanks for the update!
I completely understand. Back to college myself and its definitely been a rough start.:pinkiesick:
Good luck with classes!

lol did you just give pinki a reality check? xD

Ooooo! Like it.

Can't wait to see what happens, thanks for the update!

I think it's a good chapter. Keep up the good work!

Oof...... well.... damn. Can't wait to see how this turns out.

Wow, Pinkie feels neglected and now she is exhausted and brain-addled, the poor girl needs a confidence boost

Oof, well the main conflict has arrived! Hopefully the romance will ensue!
Thanks for the update, and take your time! School comes first!

Yay, new chapter!!!

It's all good. Love this chapter and.. I don't like Pinkie.. she is a meanie face

OOoooo. Ivy's a Dryad~ Cool!

I really want to know more about Ivy's backstory

It's been awhile since I've actually looked forward to updates on a story good read:moustache:

The song at the end ruins the chapter for me

Interesting conclusion, to say the least

why did you make Pinkie Pie the one who is a jerk to anon. He loves her but she doesn't for a dumb reason makes her unlikable. It would be more intresting if Pinkie had a crush on Anon but he hates her guys

9544683
Is that still gonna happen?

10945738
Yeah... I've just been impeded by my greatest nemesis... life :pinkiecrazy:

10946394
I feel the pain as well

Ohh what a good ending. I can't wait for the next book then. I thought it was just gonna be this but I'm happy with more.

Didnt like the ending, but i guess you just wanted to close this story, oh well

I am interested in a sequel

10946546
There shall be a sequel and it shall be just as awkward in the beginning as before. Because Friend-Dates always are…

9605616
Oh thank god someone else noticed. I thought for a moment that I was losing my mind here.:applejackconfused:

9605476
Glad I'm not the only one that noticed.:ajbemused:

You need an editor. BADLY. Please note that I don't say this coming from a place of malice, but OH MY GOD!!! You have dozens of typos and run on sentences, many of the sentences make no sense, and the sentence/paragraph structure here is absolutely atrocious. I love the premise here, but the errors are so distracting that it is really hard to enjoy the tale your weaving here. Please come back to these chapters and fix them, because it is a serious ugly mark on an otherwise great story.:raritycry:

Well, this is not going to be a good review. I will make every attempt to be nice, but this needs to be said: this was not a good fic.

I left a comment on the first chapter in May 2019. At the time, I didn't make it past the first chapter because the sheer amount of typos and construction errors distracted from the story's plotline. I've just come back thanks to a reply to that comment, and found that your story is completed. Out of curiosity, I glanced through the chapters to see how you've improved.

It's rather disheartening to see that you didn't take any steps to improve the quality of your writing. You don't credit any proofreader, so I'm left to surmise that you never found one (despite there being plentiful proofreading resources and groups on this site alone). Your writing is needlessly suffering from distracting errors in word choice, syntax, grammar, and punctuation etiquette - all of which any competent proofreader could catch for you, if you'd only ask.

I can only beg you to act upon this feedback and not blithely cast it aside. At the end of it, it's your choice.

Glad Pinkie said sorry to Non Non

I am bad at English, so I apologize for the mistakes, but I really wanted to express that I liked this story and I really look forward to the continuation

Login or register to comment