Story is being rewritten
I am alone. the only person i have now is my best friend Beth. Or that's what i thought. I am Corporal Thomas Garcia. I just finished my service in the United Sates Marine Corps. I thought I was going to live alone for the rest for my life but that's about to change. The Mane 6, Princess Luna, Shining Armor and Princess Cadence are now stuck in my world. Now i am forced to live her in my new house by Silverwood Lake. I have a feeling that my life is about to change. These ponies are going to change my life forever and i will protect them until they are able to go home safely
Chapters (5)
Woah dude this is like an old story you are rewriting and it was classic, change is always good but you better still include mi raza Mexicana por que eso me trajo a gustar y decier mucho bonito comentarios de su historia. Good luck.
4385069
I got you bro. el mexicano se queda
This is rushed dude..
4392416
the story will be at a slower paste
Every time I read this I only think of Luis Lopez from Grand Theft Auto Ballad of Gay Tony Acting out the character it works well, keep it up your doing great in reliving this story.
4395597
thanks bro.
Fair story so far, but you may want to fix the typos and spacing issues. Kind of hard to understand what is going on.
4404124
I try to fix the problems. Typos. I sometimes don't notice them. But thanks bro
Well, your biggest problem here is with punctuation (commas, periods, question marks, etcetera) and paragraph spacing. There were also a few instances where you have put in the incorrect word into sentences, but it's easy enough to understand.
Also, it the element of 'Loyalty' not 'Royalty.' The former is the state of being faithful while the latter is a royal being.
5030213 sorry didn't really noticed that mistake bro. thanks for the look out.
Awww man I liked this crap.