Well, this is pretty nice to be your first work!

Keep it up!

Uh...

I'm not sure what to say. I don't get it. Why? What? Scootaloo?

Is Rusty . . . insane? Is the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic television show the only thing he has to live for? Why do I keep seeing this kind of thing in stories?

....Um....

...Some mystical force compels me to track it, so I shall.

You'd think you're insane too if you always talked to yourself. Shall I continue?

There is nothing wrong with talking to yourself.  It's when you answer that things get out of hand.

Nothing to live for but MLP?  Such people do exist:

How to get to ponyville/equestria?

This may sound weird, but i really want to go

To equestria or more specificaly, ponyville. Reason? This world is corrupted, whether it be through war, violence, or sheer stupidity that the government cant even help anyone whi needs help. There are disasters happening everyday. People whi rule this country like its a toy for them to play with. And most importantly, judgment. People judge other people like they are a movie, to like or to critisize. They even insult them constantly. But then, i watched my little pony. And all of my thoughts changed. In ponyville, there is one great ruler who is loving, caring, and resposible. The ponies there are all friendly and they all seem so... Happy.

When i think of one place i would want to go, it would be ponyville. They dont need politics.

They dont need wars. And most importantly... They dont resort to violence or death as an answer.

So please. If there is any way i can get to this place,

Tell me. I want to know.

I have to assume that this worldview is not unique, and further, that it inevitably must find its way into stories.

And through these Stories, and dreams, we can reach Equestria.

Could you please tell me, is this a self-inserion or just about some character you made up?

ohh how fluttershy will play in this i must see

nice nice nice moar pls nao plox

Nice!

moar plox

>>10464601046460

i love this story! going to try what she did.

Hm...

Ok. Who broke the everything? We're having transdimensional mind-swaps.

I'm a he if that's what you mean >>10486871048687

1! Totally the option 1! This will be fun!

Have shkler FREAK OUT. That would be fun.

2, but if it is outragisly funny 3

Panic and claim you're a zombie.

>>10486871048687

oh sorry i mean he

2

1 pls

So Far:

Two number 1's

Two number 2's

Two Panic/Freak out + Zombie

2

>>10512751051275 It's okay

don't die

Oh god.

NOW WAIT A MOMENT! Are you Italian?

Italian-American, sadly. Ma io parlo un po 'italiano. >>10731471073147

>>10732451073245 Eheh, buono a sapersi! Also, the choice of using that italian sentence instead of english, make the OC have it's own personality!

Infatti! >>10732921073292

>>10735891073589 E' bello trovare un'altra persona su un sito come questo con cui parlare Italiano così che nessuno capisca!

Also, Rainbow Dash is best pony! (No idea why i wrote this)

Lo so, ho letto la tua storia! Personally, I'm torn between Scootaloo and Fluttershy >>10736011073601

>>10736341073634 I knew it! *Jumps around like Pinkie Pie*

Also, can't wait for the next update. Lasciare la storia così a metà mi fa stare con il cuore in gola! And i personally like it!

It's a cliff hanger The next will be in the next day or so, but.. Non promette. >>10736561073656

>>10739621073962 I wonder how's being a pony... Or a pegasus... or even hang out with Rainbow Dash! Them last one would be the most awesome thing ever!

I'd be happy just to find the Portal into Equestria >>10739751073975

>>10739911073991 Me too, me too... veramente, diciamo un po' tutti sarebbero contenti! Eheheh...

And yet.. alcuni di noi l'avrebbe danneggiata. >>10739951073995

>>10740201074020 Damage Equestria? As soon as Niko Bellic or the other idiot of his cousin don't get there, I shall say that Equestria is safe.

Oh... right... cloppers and assholes... didn't thought about them...

Don't worry, we can find the portal first, and then check who goes through. Simplici. I'm a little rusty on my italian >>10740351074035

>>10741341074134 As i'm a little rusty with english! Especially when i speak. It's like i'm a bucking russian!

Also, slow internet being slow... GOD DAMMIT!

*Faust Dammit. A little "Rusty" hehe >>10742041074204

>>10742651074265 I really need to talk like a brony.

AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!! NOW I GOT THAT JOKE!! It took me 10 seconds flat to get it! (Yes, it's STARTING!)

Well aren't you feeling derpy? A joke with a twist >>10742751074275

>>10743981074398 Yeah.. ahah! Also, i pictured in my mind some of the weirdest ideas ever! Gotta write them down!

*Looks at clock: 23:06*

Better move before my other me takes over me.

Get to it! I'll chat with you later, my friend. Here's a quote I thought of while walking my dog through the rain a minute ago: Whenever the world is gray, all we need is a little rainbow.>>10744101074410 forgot to "reply"

Glad you asked, I will Reveal: I am "Rusty Black", I'l leave it at that.>>10342561034256

>>11003971100397 So this is a self-insertion after all?

>>12793491279349 Heh heh, no

I'm sorry to have mislead, but I'm not in the story, it's a basis of my dreams and alias but only a character I made up.>>10347191034719

Littarly a cliffhanger. Arg! Well, back to the story

oh snap since rusty is not scootaloo what is his or her responce gonna be

You'll have to stick around to find out >>12831551283155

>>12816801281680 Thanks for finally clearing that up.

Eeyup >>12842301284230

*Deep breathe*

HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!HOW'S GONNA ANSWER!?!?!?!??

Ok, I'm back. I think...

"Note to self: talk precaution over what you yell out loud and what you think about"

I think you mean "take".

Also, you tend to use two periods in a lot of places. If they're meant to be dots of ellipsis, then there should be three periods. If they're just meant to end sentences, then you only need one period.

*End grammar Nazi moment.*

Well, you've got a concept at least. I'll consider reading through it later.

Right off the first sentence, I see you using double periods again. You really ought to make up your mind. Are they sentence finishers or dots of ellipsis? Is this a trend in the following chapters too?

*Shoves grammar Nazi me to the side.*

Fluttershy! *Squee!* I want to hug her!

*End crazy side's comment.*

Hm, all right. It's good pacing I suppose. Carry on.

The double periods again! Why do you insist on ignoring the whole point of the dots of ellipsis?

*Shoves grammar Nazi*

Yay! More Fluttershy! CMC, too? Oh yeah!

*Crazy leaves.*

Splendid run through of events, old chap. Though, the link to the song was a bit out of place.

*Gentleman leaves.*

Huh, so much for reading this later. I guess I'm reading it all now.

Why do you still use double periods? That is not right!

*Smacks grammar Nazi with a frying pan.*

Big Mac! Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Oh my!

*Gently nudges crazy.*

Interesting. Jolly good, then.

*Gentleman leaves.*

Eh, who needs sleep anyway?

*Neutral perspective ends.*

Heh heh, she's falling. That's great... zzzz.

...

*Grammar Nazi is currently indisposed. Please assume that if he were conscious he would continue to gripe about the double periods that the author cannot seem to decide are sentence finishers (single periods) or pauses in phrases (three dots). Thank you.*

Nurse Redheart! Woot!

*Taps crazy on shoulder and assumes control.*

A pleasant awakening followed by a nerve-wracking situation in which our protagonist doesn't know what to do. Very intriguing.

*Gentleman leaves.*

It seems I've run out of parts to read. Oh well.

*Neutral perspective ends.*

Ah ha ha ha... wow, look at all the colors. Oh, wow. The song link... ah ha ha ha... That's all great.

*Pulls computer away from drug addict.*

Rusty, Rustyloo, what will you do? The ponies are questioning you now.

Gee, want me to just send you a rough draft to proof read before each chapter? (seriously) >>12959121295912

>>12962381296238

Use me a pre-reader? Hm... I don't know. I tend to make mistakes while writing too. So I don't know how effective that would be. Plus, my schedule throughout the day is completely sporadic. There's no telling when I'd actually get around to looking through chapters that I've been given to proofread.

Sorry, I guess I got carried away.

Thanks okay, I have spell check, but your inner grammar Nazi said I should hire you >>12975261297526

>>14251271425127

Uhm...

I think you're gonna play on this parent fact...

And I like it. Good job!

Of course I'm going to play on it I myself have no parents, and theses stories and dreams everyone has are ways to live and share your views with the world. >>14269841426984

>>14271481427148 Oh, sheeeeeeet nugga. That first line made me frown a bit...

How does Lyra knows?

Lyra is OBSESSED with humans I might add in a little scene in which she foretells a flashback to how she knows. >>14277081427708

I stopped my brain process as I strolled into town, it was silent, almost void of life; Off in the distance I could see a silhouette, moving towards me.

Okay first of all, I have to nag about that semicolon. While it is technically correct to use it between two ideas that could be complete sentences on their own, it doesn't really help connect the ideas that you're trying to connect here any better than a period would. Secondly, if you choose to leave that semicolon there, then the first word after the semicolon should be lowercased unless it is a proper name. I'm pretty sure you're not using "Off" as someone's name here so it should be lowercased.

Next:

With all my snooping about and such, I was starting to get really tired, on top of that, it was freezing!

This is a run-on sentence. The first complete thought ends at the word "tired" and connecting complete thoughts with commas makes the writing look a bit unprofessional. Correction:

"With all my snooping about and such, I was starting to get really tired. On top of that, it was freezing!"

Now excuse me while I knock my grammar Nazi unconscious for the umpteenth time.

*clonk*

*sound of collapse*

Woah! A lot happened in this chapter in such a short amount of time.

But... how did Lyra know that you were a human if you looked like Scootaloo?

*reads your response to Flash Drive*

...oh.

"Screw the rules"? What rules? There's no rule that older boys can't have stuffed animals and blankets.

Finally, I can't help but feel that your new sleeping spot is similar to the first chapter of this.

I'm glad you do those corrections, I'm still only a Sophomore in English 2 That, and what a coincidence!

I've seriously never read that fic, but I guess it would be off putting.

Oh, and "Screw the rules" is a Yu-Gi-Oh (Seto Kaiba) reference.   >>14291121429112

Oh, and is the short time thing bad? I didn't mean for it to be bad... But hey, the chapter after the next one is going to have lots of D'aww and heart explosions of sadness to make up for it!

In actuality all that really happened was that Rustyloo moved from the hospital to the clubhouse >>14291121429112

>>14301261430126 Yeah, I figured it was that kind of reference.

: Screw the rules! I have a moderate cerise mane!

>>14301581430158 Eh, it's not that bad. I've seen worse.

I must inform darling, the next two shall be longer >>14304241430424

First and also very good

Do you know that you haven't updated in a month, so I was wondering for a long time, do you know if you did that to somepony they probally would give hate (comment if you get the refrence )

I'm sorry I don't get the reference If anyone had read the updates/blogs they'd know why I had family issues for a while (mothers death ) and I've been spending time with my girlfriend, and busy with school... But I'm sorry, I really am! >>15920451592045

>>15922671592267 It's okay, I was reefrenceing portal 2! Origanal "I have a black box quicksave feature where it says the last 2mins of my existince for info, so i was  forced to watch the last 2minutes of my life over and over, you know if you did that to someonethey may try there existince to revenge"

Also sorry about that

Wow, I played Portal 2, now I feel dumb.

Do not worry, I just figured if people would see Our Connection Tagged in something they'd like to know what's going on and give feedback >>15922781592278

Uhm... Ok yeah. Sure... Uh... Okay mate...

Something wrong? I've been out of it lately, not in the mood to write... I didn't want to let anyone down >>15937381593738

>>15940951594095 No, it's just that it's 11 PM here and reading this 4th wall breaking bugs my mind a bit.

Also, nonsense videos are doin' their job to rape my mind. So... I guess you got it, right?

Yep Pinkie has grown on me, my classmates even say I'm quite like her, love making people happy >>15942381594238

I feel like I've made it on the Internet when people want to be first on my stories Oh and this is a late reply but I was just reviewing the current events for next chapter! >>15910031591003

what happened to the real scootaloo is she in rusty's body?

I'll put it this way, either you can play it safe and believe she and Rusty became one and the same...

Or you can take the fun train and assume I'll make another story about what happened to her

In truth I might add an epilogue to tie up loose ends >>17829781782978

>>17830161783016 do that the questions hurt my brain and will fluttershy and rainbow dash have a relationship

A relationship? Dear reader this is not a clopfic. So maybe >>17832041783204

My name is in the description.

...

Grammar Nazi: *prepares to speak*

Rest of me: *shoots him up with multiple bullets of various weaponry* Not today.

...

Hm... Fluttershy became a mother.

D'awwwww

You caused me to remember what I wrote, which in turn made me d'aww! Now I can go to sleep on a happy and squeeful note!

Thanks, I suppose in a way. >>18383531838353