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Sweetie Belle has moved to Canterlot for college. Away from both her best friends, living in a dorm room with the last person she expected on Earth, and simply glad to be away from Diamond Tiara, Sweetie learns things her classes could never teach her.
Image by BIGCCV@deviantart
I've got to say that this is a good start. I'm enjoying it so far; I like the set-up between Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon, and their interactions seemed believable (at least to me). The reminiscing bits were also a nice detail.
I would like to ask a few questions, though, if you don't mind:
1. Why couldn't Sweetie Belle move her own bunk? She is grown up, so I assume she could use magic competently. Was it an awkward process? Is her magic weak?
2. Did Sweetie Belle get her cutie mark? Sorry if I missed that detail, but I think that would be something important to know, given this character's nature (but that's just me).
3. Why'd you keep spelling Sweetie Belle "Sweetie Bell"? I'm pretty sure Belle has an 'e' at the end of her name, but that never came up in this chapter.
Anyway, I do believe that I will be watching this for future development. Please take this comment as you will, and good luck with the rest of your story. 
(random emote for some reason)
>>1031698 Well, the answers to your questions, in order. I forgot she was a unicorn at that point. I'll probably go back and switch it around.
Yes, she has her cutie mark. That is covered in the next chapter.
I spelled ot that way because I'm stupid and didn't realize it was spelled with an e at the end. This will be fixed too.
Thank you for the comment, I really appreciate it. I love knowing peoples opinions of what I write. 
Thanks for watching my story too! I'll edit those as soon as I get back to computer since they are important. I wouldn't wanna read a story where the author mispells the main characters name.
Thanks again.
Ah... ok. So Silverspoon is bragging about Sweetie Belle because she is her roommate. So she is not necessarly being nice (as Sweetie thought) but is actually saying "Hey this filly is awesome and I get to be her roommate." To make HERSELF look good. That actually makes a lot of sense.
Oh and to reply on your comment that was on my page (I'm doing this on a tablet so the comment box messes up when I try to reply on there): I don't have that much time to become a normal fanfiction writer. But I did start writing out a draft for a story idea I had. So there is a chance I might release a multi-chapter mini story in late August. I perfer to just read stories 
>>1031972 Yeah. Silver isn't an angle just because DT isn't here like some people seem to think would happen.
And I hope you eventually get the time to write! :) I read a lot more than I write myself anyway. But if you do, you'll have to tell me and I'll check it out. I know my writing is going to slow down a lot when I start back to uni at the end of August.
>>1032090 Thanks. :)
First off, thank you for using the correct "Belle" this time around. I'd like to say that this was a good chapter. A bit slow, but the right pace for a situation like this. The intorduction of Luna and Shining Armor here was a nice touch.
There are a few grammatical errors here and there, nothing serious. I'd be happy to point them out to you, if you wish to edit this. If not, that's fine.
A good chapter, again. I'll be awaiting chapter 3 eagerly.
>>1058826 Feel free to point out any grammar/spelling/whatever errors you see if you feel like it. I mean, I can only learn from them, right? Any my grammar is really bad. (To tell you a secret, I spelled it grammer until 2009). But then, I'm also a phonetic speller. But my editor only just got his internet fixed so neither of these chapters have been edited. And yes, I made sure to spell it Belle instead of Bell, that was embarassing.
And I will have chapter 3 up as soon as possible, most likely within a week if life doesn't attact me.
>>1058852 I wonder....DUN DUN DUN! Na, you'll find out. I'm really hoping that what it is seems believeable, because it's a huge part of the story. So if it isn't just say it, yeah?
To everyone: Thank you so much for reading guys. I means a lot to me just to know people think what I write is worth reading.
>>1058895 Please take these comments as you will. I may not've gotten everything, but I gave it a good readthrough. You don't have to change anything if you don't want to.
Sweetie should have know (This needs to be known.) it was too good to be true. She had been utterly confused when Silver had said all of those nice things about her, until they arrived back at their room. Silver had laughed that such small things actually impressed the mares at the meeting. When she was able to do more than say her father owned Petrichor they would all bow to her (I don't think the tenses agree here; when she WAS able to . . . they WOULD all bow to her. See how confusing that is?).
At least, that was how Sweetie took the last part, even if she hadn't said those actual words. She had thought that Silver had changed because Diamond Tiara wasn't around. No, Silver was as bad as Diamond Tiara. She wasn't just a sidekick who went along with whatever Diamond had said. This was obvious.
She had gone to bed, barely managing to tell Silver off. Silver had always grated on her nerves. Always standing behind Diamond Tiara, backing up whatever that mare had said. It had been like she couldn't think for herself. And now? She was talking about the people here, (I don't think this comma is necessary; I'm not too sure, though)as if they were beneath her. This was the capitol (This needs to be capital) city! Choosing not to say anything, and to check on switching dorms in the morning, Sweetie fell asleep without saying a word to the grey earth pony.
Of course Silver would be up at the break of dawn, singing in the shower. Sweetie pulled her pillow over her head, trying to block out the sound to no avail. She got to her hoofs (This should be hooves.) with a groan, using her magic to make her bed as she thought about banging on the bathroom door.
Just as she thought she might, the door opened. "Oh, Sweetie Belle, I didn't know you were awake?" Silver seemed genuinely surprised. "I wouldn't be, except father expects me to be at a meeting at eight."
"I wouldn't be either, if the walls were thicker. I think we should trade cutie marks next time you try your hoof at ocapello. (Do you mean a cappella, musicless singing?)" Sweetie had meant it as a joke. It was something she had told Scootaloo countless times.
Silver scowled, glancing at the black eight note surrounded by a rainbow colored (I think rainbow colored needs a hyphen, since there's a new meaning given to then together.) stave. Sweetie had received her cutie mark later than most ponies, at the age of twelve. Still, she had been before Apple Bloom, who had been the last in their class.
Not saying a word, Silver went on about getting ready, giving Sweetie time to use the bathroom. By the time Sweetie had finished her shower and other morning rituals and exited the bathroom, Silver had gone. Which was well enough. She wondered briefly if she should tell Sweetie ( Do you mean Silver?) she was applying for a room change, but decided against it.
It took her a few minutes to find the main office on campus, then to find the correct floor and room. The line was huge, (I'm pretty sure that comma needs to be a semicolon.)there had to be at least two hundred ponies. And the office wasn't even open until nine am. Surely this many ponies couldn't have problems with their roommates. She turned to a black coated (I think black-coated should be hyphened.) Pegasus stallion nearby. "Is everyone trying to change dorms?"
He shook his head. "Na, some of it has to do with what is wrong with dorms, some with an over crowded (I'm pretty sure this needs to be one word, overcrowded.)dorm, it's always crazy. My sister has three ponies assigned to a two pony room. You would think Canterlot University would be better than this."
Taking one last look at the line, Sweetie decided to come back later. Maybe tomorrow would be better, actually.
Now she had to figure out what to do with her day. Classes started tomorrow, so she could probably get her books now. She pulled her list out of her saddle bag, looking at what she would need. She was a music minor, of course, but Rarity had insisted she at least get her Associates degree in something she could use should she (her) aspiring music career fall short.
She had picked something that had made Twilight very happy-(That dash needs to be a colon.) a magic teacher. Schools and wealthy families were always looking for a unicorn to help teach their children, especially families like the cakes (Since "Cakes" in this contxt is a name, it should be capitalized.) where neither parent was a unicorn. Twilight had helped her build up her magical power the last few years. In fact, she had already studied two of the books on her list. Twilight had them, and would surely let her borrow them for school, so there was no need to buy them.
The other she had never heard of before, so she was sure Twilight didn't have them. Though she could probably ask about the one for history-but it didn't feature Star Swirl the Bearded at all, so probably not. And the others were for her two music classes. The crowd in the bookstore was much smaller, causing Sweetie to sigh with relief. She found the three books she needed to purchase and waited in the line that nearly wrapped around the entire store. Still, it only had about fifty ponies in it, and moved much faster than the other line.
By the time she was finished, it was time for lunch. She still hadn't bought any groceries to keep in her dorm, since she planned on eating in the school's cafeteria more often than cooking for herself. She may have improved since foal hood (I believe foalhood should be one word.), but the improvement only meant everything wasn't a blackened blob anymore.
She remembered a deli Rarity had taken her to once, and decided to go there. Sweetie took her newly bought books back to her dorm. She thought she heard something, but when she called out Silvers (This needs an apostrophe, Silver's.) name, there wasn't a response, so she shrugged and left. She looked around for Karat, thinking the mare might like to hang out before classes began, but she didn’t see her anywhere. She looked around at all the buildings, noticing a couple of girls from the hall meeting were sight-seeing. This city was the Capitol (Again, the correct version is capital.) of Equestiria and held so many amazing things. Sweetie had visited several already on her trips here with Rarity.
She thought back to when she ( I think you should get rid of "she".) the Changelings had invaded, wondering what all the people out in the city had done. She had never thought about it before. She had been in the castle, cowering with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. Rarity had ran off with her friends to find the Elements, but it had been no use.
It was terrifying. She shuttered, remembering how one had turned into her. Shaking the thoughts from her head, she concentrated on where she was going. She didn't know this city was (Do you mean as?) well as Ponyville. The deli was close to the castle, she remembered. She just hadn't realized how far the castle actually was from the school.
After what seemed like an hour, but in truth was only fifteen minutes, she arrived at the deli. Simply called Daisy's, it reminded her a little of Ponyville. It was a nice restaurant, though. She was surprised when she saw Karat in line. She walked over to the Pegasus, hoping to join her.
"Hey Karat," she said with a smile.
Karat grinned. "Hi Sweetie. I didn't expect to see anyone I knew here," she exclaimed. "Would you like to join me, (Shouldn't that somma be a question mark?) I was just about to order."
Sweetie nodded her head. They made it to the front of the line, ordered and received their food, and sat at one of the round tables. "Do you have your books and things yet?" Sweetie asked.
Having just taken a bite of her rose petal salad, Karat nodded. "Did you?" she asked around her food, reminding Sweetie of another Pegasus.
"Yes, I got them just before coming here, actually. I don't remember, what was your major?"
The conversation continued in such a fashion, the two mares not simply (Not simply? I'll admit I'm a bit confused here. What do you mean?)getting to know each other. Sweetie had her back to the door, so when the entire shop suddenly became silent, she looked around. Standing there, dark blue hair floating around her head as always, was Princess Luna.
"Princess!" she grinned as she walked over to her. "I was hoping to see you soon."
Luna grinned. "It's good to see you, Sweetie Belle. Twilight says you'll be saying in Canterlot for school. Celestia has allowed me to teach Astronomy there, you simply must take it." The entire room was still silent, which Sweetie didn't miss. Of course, she was talking to Royalty. She had know (Known.) Luna since she was a filly of ten, but these ponies didn't know that. And she hadn't even bowed.
Luna noticed Sweetie look around. "I hope you all are having a lovely day. I thought I would simply get some lunch." Slowly, everyone resumed talking, though still shooting looks at the Princess every few seconds. She leaned in closely, and said so that only Sweetie could hear, "I go out in public as much as possible, and yet they always react this way. At least they are acting like they want to give me space now."
Sweetie giggled. "I'm with a friend, if you would like to join us, Princess."
Luna agreed. "The fun shall be doubled," she said with a wink. After Luna obtained a sandwich (which took a bit longer, because the owner of the deli didn't want to accept the Princess' bits) she sat with Sweetie Belle and Karat.
Karat, for her part, was very tense and didn't say much. She only really spoke when spoken to, and kept her gaze averted from Luna. "Oh, what is your major, Sweetie? Twilight didn't say."
Sweetie felt her cheeks redden. "Magic, actually. And teaching, I guess. I want to teach magic to young unicorns."
"I thought it would be something musical, what with the voice you have. I remember that Nightmare Night just after you received your cutie mark, you were singing constantly."
Sweetie's blush deepened. "Yes, I had just got it. It was my special talent, and I guess I was showing off."
"Until Rainbow Dash managed to (One too many spaces here.) scare you."
Sweeite buried her face in her hooves. "I know, I was such a foal. So embarrassing."
Just then, one of the guard who must have been stationed outside of the deli walked over to the Princess. He was about to say something when he saw Sweetie Belle. Their eyes met at the same time. "Sweetie Belle? Twi said you were in town, but I didn't imagine I'd already run into you." Shining Amour (Is this spelling intentional?) grinned.
"Who hasn't my sister and her friends told? I'm a grown mare," she sighed.
Shining ruffled Sweetie's hair. "Oh, you'll always be their little filly, you know. She said for me to keep an eye out, because Rarity is worried about you being in the big city on your own. Cadance (Another space too many here.) I were planning something more…sublte (subtle.), but this works." He shrugs, nods to Karat, and then turns to Luna (Why'd you change to present tense in this sentence?). "I'm sorry Princess, but Celestia sent me. She wanted to speak with you."
Luna sighed. "How am I ever going to get ponies to treat me normally when I am constantly being wisked (This should be whisked.) away by the guard?" She smiled, though. "I suppose I'll see you on campus, Sweetie."
Sweetie said goodbye to the pair before they left.
Karat, for her part, was staring at Sweetie Belle as if she had grown an extra head. "What? Do I have something on my face?" she asked, wiping hurridly. That would have been mortafing (Do you mean mortifying?), to have lunched with Luna and had something on her face. Rarity would never forgive her.
"You know the Princess that well? Silver wasn't lying? You said you weren't as cool as that." Karat didn't sound or look angry, but confused.
"Princess Luna comes to Ponyville every Nightmare Night since she was freed from Nightmare Moon. It's great, always scared (Another tense change here.) the foals. Plus, free candy because they still give some to her statue. Luna's cool."
"And the Prince?"
"Prince? Oh, Shining Armor? That's just Twilight's brother. And she's one of my sisters' ( "sisters'", with both an s at the end and an apostrophe, implies that something belongs to MORE THAN ONE sister. If you only mean Rarity, it should be "sister's".) best friends." Sweetie shrugged.
"I guess," Karat said. "Still, that is pretty amazing."
Karat relaxed after a few moments, though, and soon the two mares picked up normal conversation. They walked back to campus together, the trip seeming much shorter to Sweetie now that she had a friend to talk too.
Karat agreed they should (One space too many.) hang out again the next day, and Sweetie Belle walked into her dorm. She stood, frozen, at the sound that was coming out of the bathroom, over the sound of water from the shower.
Silver Spoon was crying.
>>1059048 I believe everything is fixed...I edited the chapter and as you said and pushed the save button, at any rate. I'm not really sure what to do about the second point you made, but thank you for pointing out the other things. And that bit with sisters'/sister's I was confused on which one was the proper one to use, so thank you for that too. I really do appreciate it a lot. I'll try to keep that all that stuff in mind as I'm writing. But really, thanks for taking the time to read through and do that when you didn't have to.
Get books? Check. Eat lunch? Check. Conversation with Karat AND Royalty? Check!
This looks like a good Slice of life chapter... which means that the ending must be...
*Reads last four words* Yep! Cliffhangers, the perfect way to taunt the readers with an unspoken conflict.
And now all of us shall wait until chapter 3! 
So Sweetie and Silver have started to get to know each other better. Sometimes a rant can be the best way to get over past issues.
Also, slight typo: The tension form earlier seemed to have left with Tish, and now everything was awkward.
Should be: The tension from earlier seemed to have left with Tish, and now everything was awkward.
>>1065758 Thanks!
>>1094670 It can. A good rant, plus just a little willingness to actually listen. Thanks for pointing that out, I'll get it later.
>>1094741>>1094758 you guys actually feel sorry for them? Yay!
To everyone: Thanks for reading guys! I hope to mix in a little surprise next time, so stay tuned.
Typo: when silver is talking about how sweetie was a flower girl for the wedding, you typed "chanlings" instead of "changelings".
A nice short argument, I do see how both were having a worse life than the other thought, like how silver said "and you girls never got punished" even though they did get punished (you even put an example of this in sweetie's flashback.) Once they know the facts things will get better for them.
I think... will have to see what happens next...
"That's all water under the bridge, isn't it? We're grown mares now." She held out her hoof. "Ah can't really say Ah understand why, but if Sweetie and you can live together and not kill each other, you gotta be alright." Silver shook Apple Bloom's hoof. "Ah mean, when Sweetie spent just two days at my house Ah wanted to kill her." Apple Bloom grinned.
Oh my... 'Grown' Women... this won't end well....
>>1151622>>1151720 Thanks guys, glad you like it. I'll get a new chapter up just as soon as I can get it written!
>>1151921 Thank you. I thought about continuing on from there, but then I was like...na, let 'em worry about what's going on. 
And sometimes, cliffhangers are nice. I'm glad it's getting interesting for you now, hopefully it'll stay that way.
>>1152522 
Oops, nice catch.I'll go fix that.
This review will cover chapters 3-5.
Sorry I've been gone. This story is becoming more and more interesting as it goes on. I think it's moving at a very nice pace, and what you're revealing seems nice. I shall be looking forward to more.
Now, to each individual chapter:
Chapter 3
I must commend you: your observation of the Cutie Mark Crusaders from the viewpoint of "The Terrible Two" was very well done. And the way it arose from the conversation seemed organic. The chapter was solid, and the characterization was good, but it was this part of this chapter that stuck out to me.
(notes on grammar will come a little later)
Chapter 4
It's a good chapter. Personally (And I stress the word personally), I would've liked to see a bit of how Sweetie Belle's classes went, and how she progressed through a regular school day, but that's just me. I've nothing negative to say about it, though; the interactions with Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom, and between Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were well done.
Chapter 5
Before I get to the review, I must point this out:
It turned out that Karat couldn't hang out Saturday because she was practicing her flying skills. She wasn't that great-not that Sweetie Bell would tell her that. It wasn't the technical aspects of Karat's flying Sweetie thought were off, but the fact that her tricks were so simple. Of course, growing up around Rainbow Dash and having Scootaloo drag them around watching her had taught her a lot about flying.
Anyway, this chapter was also enjoyable. I would like to say one thing:
"She's my sister," Rarity said with a proud smile.
The professor choked. "Sister? I didn't know that!" He looked at Sweetie with a newfound reverence.
It may be just me, but . . . I'm now really interested in this professor. I don't know why.
Another great chapter with no complaints.
Grammar-wise, there were two times where you misused apostrophes. And it was in the same paragraph:
He took attendance and then stood in front of the class, smiling. "I know I promised you all a surprise, but first, I'd like to tell you a story. How many of you remember the Summer Sun Celebration that was most recently held in Ponyville?" A few of the students, including Sweetie, raised their hands. "How many of you remember Discords (It should be "Discord's") invasion?" Everyone in the room raised their hands. Sweetie was starting to get a bad feeling about what the surprise would be. "How many remember the hero's (This should be "heroes") who saved Equestria both times?" As everyone raised their hands, Sweetie groaned. The professor gave her a strange look, but opened the door.
Other than that, I can't recall anything else except for an awkward paragraph-spacing accident in chapter 3.
So, in short, I shall be continuing to follow this. I really like where this is going. Hope you can continue soon!
>>1172979 Karat is...well, I don't want to give away that bit of plotline. :P Let's just say she's not all that she appears to be? 
>>1169179 This is the reason I absolutely love your comments. As far as classes and such go, I think they are in general kinda boring, and that's all it would be if I wrote it...and I didn't wanna torture you guys. I'm glad you liked my representation of how DT and SS saw the CMC back in the day. And the professor may come up again, so be on the look out. 
Thanks!
Apple Bloom shrugged. "Ah can't place my finger on it, but it's just a feeling."
Later on she realizes:
Before I read anything, your description of Sweetie being the only character listed?
(I already used the LIES clip. I am not a one-trick pony) As such,
Ever had those moments like this?
I just don't know man. It would be weird since I simply do not think I have a description of Tish or Karot. It would be easier to see but for now...
(Details! I demand them, Pinkamena. Or can you at least point them out where you wrote them? You ... DID write them, yes? )
A few of the students, including Sweetie, raised their hands. "How many of you remember Discords invasion?" Everyone in the room raised their hands. Sweetie was starting to get a bad feeling about what the surprise would be. "How many remember the hero's who saved Equestria both times?" As everyone raised their hands, Sweetie groaned. The professor gave her a strange look, but opened the door.
They raised their WHATS?
Karat is red-coated. Don't remember anything else, though about her.
Tish has a hanging green mane.
Just a question, since I don't recall reading a mane color for Karat.
Does she resemble this mare?
>>1175209 I don't think I ever said Karat's mane or her eye color. Her coat is a bit of a darker red, her mane is a light blue, nearly white color, and her eyes are brown.>>1174661
These theories are great guys, keep them coming. I'm not saying if any of you have hit it or not...that shall be found out later.
Also, I'm fairly certain everything has been fixed that's been pointed out so far. I hope to have another chapter up in a week, two at most. Unless school eats me.
Karat=Scootaloo? Nah. Don't see it. Wait... lets see what I can remember...
1. She said her talent was something to do with Technology... hmm...
2. Shes running off in the night... interesting...
3. She is watching Sweetie and Rainbow... but possiblly avoiding silver, and uninterested in the others
Ok... and this leads us to...
I got nothing... 
Nice story, but I have to ask. That romance tag, it going to see any action soon? I mean the story is great, the writing good but a bit less descriptive then I like, and the character seem to fit into the setting. So when will that tag be used the tension is hurting
.
"Ummm…Yeah." Silver seemed to be in a stage of slight shock, but returned the smile before walking off a ways and looking at a poster, giving Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell time alone.
Please...watch out for those.
Other than that, I really liked this chapter!
And I must ask you to clarify something, if you don't mind:
Sweetie Belle slowly opened the door and peaked inside. The door slowly sung open on the scene. The two mares inside didn't seem to realize they now had an audience as Sweetie Belle's brain raced to process what her eyes saw.
Absolutely no one was there. Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom were not in the room.
What two mares were in the room? Sweetie Belle and Karat? I'm sorry, but I am confused at that part.
Anywho, since everyone's voicing their opinions about Karat, I'll throw around my own opinions about what Karat's secret is [I'm still miffed at Who We Are since I couldn't figure that out, but I can do so with you. BTW, "Who We Are" is fantastic].
-There is something barring me from thinking this is Scootaloo: Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle (NOT BELL! 
) should know what Scootaloo's cutie mark is. They had to ask this new character what hers stood for, so unless ponies can somehow disguise their cutie marks (which doesn't seem likely to me), I'm not going to focus on this.
-My first hypothesis was that Karat was 
's daughter, but that was shot down rather quickly.
-Then I thought Karat was employed at the infamous Rainbow Factory, but that isn't a big thought on my mind.
-My current thought is that, just maybe, Karat is 
's daughter who was separated from her as a filly (or something). She does take a fascination with Rainbow Dash, comes from a place with a very odd name, seems okay with embellishing (as was evident in chapter 1), and practices her flying, maybe as a way to impress her idol. Rainbow Dash could've separated from her daughter, or spent less time with her, because of her technology-related cutie mark, but that doesn't exactly cope with my reasoning. This isn't a strong hypothesis, but it is the one I hold most highly at this point. Also, maybe I'm reading too close to it, but in chapter 1, Karat's eyes widened when Sweetie explained 
helped them get their cutie mark; maybe this is an emotion popping out, maybe of " helped them get their cutie mark, but mine's just these dumb gears?"
Now I shall sit here and you shall laugh maniacally at how wrong I probably am. [But SCREW IT, this is a mystery and I must know!]
I shall be awaiting your next chapter. Please update soon (or else!)!
>>1188915 Another one? I'm sorry. Hmm...maybe I should place them randomly to annoy you... Na, I wouldn't do that. I want you to stay. I actually thought about doing a word replace search and just replacing all Bell with Belle but then that messed up some other words, so I skim it and try to catch them, but I have a hard time reading my own stuff so...yeah.
And that part that confused you...yeah, that's shouldn't even be there. I was going to have Silver and AB at each others throats, but then I changed my mind. Now I must go fix it.
Oh, and I think only one person has guess kinda right on Karat. No, she isn't RD's daughter, I'm sorry. And...rainbow factory? Nor is she Scoots.
And...I would love to know what the or else was, but I hope this was soon enough...I look forward to seeing what you think of Karat now!
Where did that come from? I honestly have no clue. It was totally random and hit me, but I decided to roll with it. It changes my plans ever so slightly, but maybe it adds a good twist? Maybe you hate it and demand I rewrite this chapter? I'm not even sure that I like it, but hey, it's up now. No turning back.
There are mild spoilers in this comment. If you're reading this story for the first time, DON'T read this comment!
So here's what I have to say. Please take it as you will.
1. Congratulations on getting featured.
2. Okay, now I'm not really sure what's going on. I don't think she's a nymphomaniac, since Karat and Silver haven't gotten along. I'm ignoring that at my own discretion. I don't know what's going on.
3. Do the "Bell" thing and the "or else" thing's gonna happen.
4. 
for the history professor!
5. Sweetie looked over at him as she placed her things on her usual desk. "I discovered something very…disturbing about one of my, um, friends." He only looked at her, so she took a deep breath and continued. "I saw this pony had pictures drawn of me…graphic ones. With then.
With then?
6. Glimpse? Eh, I'll keep an eye on him, I guess.
7. It was totally random and hit me, but I decided to roll with it. It changes my plans ever so slightly, but maybe it adds a good twist? Maybe you hate it and demand I rewrite this chapter? I'm not even sure that I like it--
I'm a bit at odds with this. You continue to write well, but there's something about this chapter... I don't know, but I don't have a clear opinion of it as of yet. I'll have to wait for the next one (
)
So, yeah, this is what I have to say. Again, congrats on getting featured, and I hope you can continue strongly.
>>1189666 OHMIGOSHI'MFEATUREDWHAT? 
*ahem* Okay, so yeah, as far as point 7 on your list, I'm totally considering rewriting this chapter if you guys don't like it, because while I do have a bit of a plan on where it could go, I also feel really uneasy about it because it could so south, fast. The update for this will probably be really slow now-I was able to write this today during a break between two of my classes, but I will be overtaken by uni soon and updates will probably only come about every two weeks. I will change the then to them...I actually read over this one, guess I missed it. And yes, I put the history professor in there just for you. Awesome comments deserve rewards, right?
>>1189712 Why yes, yes they do. 
But enough about ME!!!!, Let's talk about you. Yes, your story was featured, and I feel it deserves to be, but that's just me. As far as rewriting... I'll personally vote for rewrite, but I'll be happy just the same if you keep this the way it is. It's always up to you, and if many other people liked it, you should keep it.
Again, congratulations, and good luck with the rest of your story. Update whenever you're ready.
I really like the chapter. The whole lead up with Karat was quite interesting and had me thinking what was up with her. Now you introduce that she is incredibility creepy and or obsessive. I would like to see where you go with this. Maybe there is a alternate explanation? You can go a lot of places with this in my eyes. The only part that I would consider iffy is the exchange between the professor and Sweetie along with Glimpse. Both seemed a little rushed, the conversation with Glimpse more so with the Professor. I feel like something is missing between the exchange with Sweetie and the Professor. And the whole conversation (or lack of) with Sweetie and Glimpse seemed really just rushed. Seemed like this could have used some more content in itself rather than being thrown in at the last second.
OVERALL I love this story so far
Great writing and congrats on the feature! That's how I found this 
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Right?
but im not supposed to have fingers
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