I like this one up to now, I'm a sucker for Sparkler Doo, and it reminds me of my own work, Shimmer. I'll keep an eye out for this one.

However.... You need to give your grammar a once over, there are quite a few mistakes here and there, some verb tenses and such. I recommend running your fic through a spell checker, brushing up on your verb tense, giving the fic a reread and getting a friend of yours or two to look it over.

Once you do that, I think you'll have a great work on your hands. Keep up the good work!

This is amazing! Can't wait for the enst chapter

I'm going to hate you quite soon for those Sad and Tragedy tags. After you so vividly introduced Dinky and Sparkler, I'm going to voodoo your guts out of you in the most interesting way I can imagine if even a single hair falls from their coats.

I'll track this nontheless. I need to know just how much pain you need to be in

thank god its Doo instead of hooves

Love it. Excellent start. Can't wait for more. Love everything about it.

Ok now that I'm done with the rant I will leave you with this moustache while I flag your story for stalkification.

more please.