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  • 68w, 4d
    Reason for the quietness

    Hey everyone, i noticed I got a load of new watchers thanks to Britannia's appearance in Know your Mare by Overlord-Flinx

    Just explaining why my stories haven't advanced much.

    Britty hasn't been on hiatus for nothing. I've been writing and drawing  the Ask Britannia Tumblr on behalf of BUCK the UK Brony convention

    As such all her current adventuring is going on and so a lot of my stuff about her past has had to take a bit of a second place.

    I hope some of you aren't disappointed. Don't worry I want to continue writing, it will just be once things with the tumblr take a turn for being less time consuming.

    Thank you :)

    0 comments · 85 views
  • 112w, 1d
    Britannia Book 2 on hiatus

    Just popping up to say that, for the time being, my second instalment in Britannia's story is on hiatus. I'm still working on it, it's just I'm working with the talented Sketchy Sounds on a very spoiler-filled collaboration starring Britannia and her companions and a cast of his own. It's going well but it's a big project so I'm taking advantage of the creative space while we still can.

    Keep an eye out. We'll be uploading at some point.

    1 comments · 103 views
  • 116w, 6d
    More music from the world of Britannia

    There's gonna be a fair few musical references sneaking into the Britannia stories as we go along. Mostly as I find them very inspirational but also because of the mood and tone they help to set in the culture of my version of Equestria.

    So here is a version anyone here who is aware of the 'Sharpe' novels by Bernard Cornwell (and the TV series based on them in particular) will probably recognise

    "Over the Hills and Far Away"

    -The Regimental Marching song of the Royal Equestrian Expeditionary Force

    Hark gentlecolts that have a mind,

    To serve the Princess, good and kind,

    Come canter along with us today,

    Over the hills and far away,


    O'er the hills and o'er the main,

    Through Flanquers, Gryphus and Fawntaine.

    Celestia commands and we obey.

    Over the hills and far away.

    'Tis forty bits upon the drum,

    To those who volunteer to come,

    To 'list and fight the foe today,

    Over the hills and far away.


    Then fall in colts, behind the drum,

    With colours blazing like the sun,

    Along the road to come what may,

    Over the hills and far away.


    When evil stalks the land at large,

    We'll neither stop nor hold our charge,

    But fight to win a better day,

    Over the hills and far away


    Let beasts and monsters come and go,

    We'll stand ajudged by what we know,

    A soldier's life we'll ne'er gainsay,

    Over the hills and far away.


    No more from sound of drum retreat,

    While Custard Tart and Gum Boot beat,

    The Elks and Griffins every day,

    Over the hills and far away.


    When duty calls then we must go,

    To stand and face another foe,

    For part of us will always stray,

    Over the hills and far away.


    Through smoke and fire and spear and crust,

    Unto the gates of Tartarus,

    We shall stand and we shall stay,

    Over the hills and far away,


    If I should fall to ride no more,

    As many comrades did before,

    then ask the fifes and drums to play,

    Over the hills and far away.


    At most ceremonial functions only up to the first three verses are sung in recent years. Mostly for length but also, the Ministry of Defence feels that later verses are woefully out of date (referring to the 8th Century Generals Custard Tart & Gum Boot and their campaigns in the Griffin Kingdoms and Cervidas) and could also be thought distateful to the civilian populace in dwelling on the darker side of war.

    Here's a link to a rendition of the song that closely matches the traditional tune and lyrics

    2 comments · 118 views
  • 117w, 6d
    Transcript Vignette: Friendship is Magic Pre-production notes for S1 E1

    Playing with my idea that Friendship is Magic is actually a semi-biographic docu-drama in Equestria depicting the lives and times of the Mane 6. This is a transcript taken during a conversation between Twilight Sparkle (*THE* Twilight Sparkle, not the T. Sparkle played on the show by actress, Strong Star) and the series Casting Director, First Class.

    FC: Now, we were just wondering, Ms. Sparkle, if it would be possible for you to tell us what exactly it was that you said when you were facing Nightmare Moon, right before the Elements of Harmony appeared to you.

    TS: I thought you already had those notes?

    FC: Oh, yeah, we do. It's just, well, it would be great to hear them from THE actual Twilight Sparkle, you know. To help get the feel of that scene exactly right.

    TS: Oh, I see, well I guess that does make sense...[short pause]...You know, even after all this time, I can still remember it as vividly as if I were right there. Precisely what I said. It was almost as if, it wasn't me speaking at the time...[a light giggle]...certainly not the Twilight I used to be before that night, anyway. It was almost like something greater than myself were talking through me, figuratively speaking. Such a feeling of...[pause]...I think, security is a good word for it. And confidence and absolute assurance that everything would be okay...perfect, even. It was as if I'd never been so sure of anything in my life than what I was feeling at that exact moment, and, believe me, I'd been a pretty self-assured unicorn up until that point...[a light giggle again]...but isn't every pony like that at that age, so sure they know everything there possibly is to know?

    FC: Um...I wouldn't...

    TS: [Interrupting] But when I was there facing off against...[brief pause]...well, her and everything I thought I knew had failed me and then I heard the girls coming to help me, following after me even though they had no reason to, even when that...thing...[pause] It was exactly like I wrote in my book, books. There have been so many now.

    FC: That was it, right? The spark?

    TS: Exactly.

    FC: So what did you say?

    TS: I said, well I turned to her and I said "You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that? Well you're wrong, because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right here!" and they were. It was as if they knew, we all knew...that this was exactly why we were there, why it was us alone who could do this. Well, maybe not just us, thinking about it now. I'm currently working on some new research papers in which I hypothesise that, potentially, we were just the right ponies in the right place and that the Elements of Harmony reside in all of us to some degree.

    FC; [Sound of agreement] Yeah, but, the line, Ms. Sparkle? What did you say next?

    TS: Oh...Um...[brief pause] yes, of course, I said "Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of Honesty! Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of Kindness! Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of Laughter! Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift, represents the spirit of Generosity! And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire, represents the spirit of Loyalty! The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us." that is, to say, Nightmare Moon. Not you. And then she pointed out that the spark hadn't worked and we still didn't have the sixth Element. And I pointed out that it did but it was a different kind of spark, not a magical one...[pause]... I said that it was the spark that had ignited inside me when I realised how much it meant to hear first ever friends...[pause]... And then it just appeared in a flash of light. And I turned to Nightmare Moon and said, "when those Elements are ignited by the spark that resides in the heart of us all it creates the sixth Element. The Element of Magic! [By this point, it should be noted, that TS's voice has become very animated and loud on the recording. There is a pause as she composes herself with a cough] And that was it, necklaces, big crown thingee, the works. And then it was like the most overwhelming surge of euphoria and power and warmth just flowed through us. And the rest is history. Is that okay?

    FC: mean, that was wonderful, thank you Ms. Sparkle...Um...[a short burst of laughter]...I mean it''s so cheesy but compelling, it really makes you feel it.

    TS: I think the word you're searching for is 'Sincere', Mr. Class.

    FC: Yeah...unfortunately you don't seem to get much of that in the Moving Picture business, I'm afraid.

    TS: Maybe I should send you some of my books on Studies in Friendship, Mr. Class? Or perhaps give a lecture. The sets here should be more than large enough for everypony to...

    FC: [Interrupting] Oh that is quite all right, Ms. Sparkle. Your...contributions have been more than enough material for everypony on the team to get just the right feel for what we're trying to make happen. There really is some magic in the air...[pause]...apart from the day-to-day magic that is.

    TS: Well, that's wonderful. You know, I was a little worried when I first heard about this series. I mean, a movie-show based on me and my friends' lives. In many ways its a great idea but...

    FC: But, what?

    TS: [long pause]...I'm not naive, Mr. Class. I know what movies are like, I've read a lot about them in the past few months and I know that, sometimes...a lot of the time in fact, writers and directors tend to twist the truth in favour of what makes a good story...or simply appeals to the lowest demographic. I mean, do you remember the 'Daring DO: the Motion Picture' fiasco? I doubt many ponies there actually realised she was based on a real pony..hay, until relatively recently even I didn't know, and I own all the books...for what they're worth now...[brief pause]...and when the poor dear actually turned up to see why it was that a humble archaeologist had garnered such a...rabid fanbase...Well, you can understand my concerns. I've always considered accuracy...truth to be very important.

    FC: [pause, then a sigh]...I understand your concerns, Ms. Sparkle. And since insulting your intelligence would be, quite frankly, a waste of both of our time I will be blunt. Sometimes, in movies, accuracy simply has to be sidelined somewhat because...well, real life isn't a story. There are so many truths and representations and uncomfortable facts that can shift a story from, say, a romance to a tragedy to a comedy or...whatever. All depending on who you talk to and where you get your sources. So telling a one-hundred percent accurate story would never be achievable in any case, certainly not in this medium. If you'll pardon me, that's what libraries are for.

    TS: [Concessionary noises]

    FC: Secondly, we only have twenty-two minutes to work here for each movie. Brevity and pacing will require content be cut, entire characters be excised, the passage of time may have to be sped up, not to mention our own production schedule, which is limited as it is.

    TS: But, and I'm afraid this is mostly from memory based on that copy of the script Mr. Pole Sky showed me, there are some parts where you add things in. I mean, that was based on that whole obsessive episode I went through trying to determine what 'Pinkie-sense' was, am I correct?

    FC: I believe so.

    TS: And there's this scene where you just drop a cart-load of heavy objects on my...that is to say, Strong Star's head

    FC: Her stunt-double actually. Please don't worry over that, they're professionals when it comes to special effects.

    TS: Well, regardless, I'm pretty sure if that actually had happened to me I certainly wouldn't have brushed it off. I'd have been in hospital...comatose...or worse! And that whole scene with the hydra. Yes, you have the lesson down exactly as it happened but that hydra was a big deal, almost as big as the Ursa Minor incident. They had to call out the Everfree Rangers to deal with it, it was in the newspapers for months...sure Ponyville was kind of a disaster-hub occasionally, something to do with ley-lines and migration routes, but for this plus all the other...monsters of the week your writers have put happen in the space of a year?

    FC: Remember what I said about pacing, Ms. Sparkle?

    TS: The point I'm trying to make, Mr. Class, is that there is willing the suspension of disbelief and then there's outright ludicrousness. Plus who is this 'Derpy Hooves' character that keeps popping up occasionally? I know Everypony in that town and I'm pretty sure I'd remember somepony like her.

    FC: [laughing] Oh, her! That's a funny story actually. We were shooting the pilot and one of the extras in the background pulled this silly cross-eyed face, but none of the crew caught it until post. Too late to do anything about it by that point so we kept it in...She's only an extra, we reasoned, nopony will notice. But some of the test audience members did and they loved it so the writers have been finding ways of slipping her in, just as a little Equinox Egg hunt for the fans. You'd be surprised how particular viewers can be over these things. Some of the writers have even started coming up with stories for her, too. Quite touching ones actually and Ditzy is actually proving to be quite an able young actress...

    TS: [interrupting, voice raised] But she's not based on a real pony! [It is evident, by this point, that TS is getting quite exasperated. There is a pause]...Sorry, Mr. Class, it's just. This is me and my friends lives we're showing here. This is Equestrian history. And you must appreciate how hard it is when it feels like you're just...I don't know...a model, like one of Rarity's clothes-horses for you to dress and style to suit your tastes.

    FC: [pause]...I'm sorry Ms. Sparkle. Yes, of course I appreciate your concerns and...well...yes your feelings are quite justified. But...well, why don't you take a look at this...[Sounds of rustling paper]...Larch passed this to me earlier, it's a rough draft for episode sixteen. Just, give page seventeen a read.

    [A long pause. Duration: 3:43]

    TS: Wow...this is about the Best Young Flyer's competition. You've...I mean there are some parts that don't play out like they did, this was a huge event, it was a pure freak that things nearly went the way they did but...oh the way they get Rainbow here...what did you say the writer's name was, Larch?

    FC: Yeah, he's written a lot for us. They're all good, Ms. Sparkle. Feather Tone, Sunny Morrow, Kite Wing, Pole Sky, McCart-Hay. And Woody is a brilliant director. Like I said, there's a magic in this place, when it comes to writing about your lives, it's like it's bringing out the best in us.

    TS: But in some cases the best is dropping pianos on ponies heads?

    FC: That scene, and all the other bits of slapstick, it's mostly the studio's doing. They feel that what we really need to do is appeal to the foals, which is sensible you've got to agree? I mean, this isn't a documentary we're making here. We have to be entertaining.

    TS: I like documentaries.

    FC: Well, if you were expecting a documentary I'm sorry Ms. Sparkle. But, please, rest assured, aside from what we've discussed. We do care about how your life stories are told. We want to get to the heart of them, if not the facts. Surely we must be coming close to that...And even the stuff that isn't accurate you have to like a little, surely? As a piece of entertainment?

    TS: Well...I suppose the piano bit is kinda funny. I was a monstrous pain that week, I would have deserved it...a little. I take it you'll be putting some sort of 'Don't try this at home, my little ponies' disclaimer up before any of the more...dangerous episodes?

    FC: If some foals are silly enough to go around dropping pianos on their heads just because they saw somepony famous on a film-screen do it I don't think disclaimers will be much help...[long pause]...I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Of course, the studio has this all in hoof.

    TS: Glad to hear it. "Friendship is Magic Responsible for Massive Head Trauma" is something i wouldn't care to read in the Ponyville Gazette. [laughter from both TS and FC]

    FC: You should hear some of the music Inky Gramophone has been coming up with. All those little nonsense rhymes Pinkie-Pie does... I swear that pony just makes them sound a million bits.  

    TS: I'll...I'll make sure to.

    FC: So I've convinced you.

    TS: For the moment. I mean...this is it right? A change of tone, some...embellishments. Nothing else, right? The important stuff, the history, the events, the lessons, they'll still be there right?

    FC: Of course. Please, Twilight. Both of Her Majesties have given their blessings to this. I mean, Jay and I were just overwhelmed when Princess Celestia herself even agreed to play herself in some episodes. I mean, who else could we get to play her? If that sort of approval doesn't show confidence in what we're doing then I wouldn't know what to think.

    TS: Really? The Princess herself? She never mentioned anything when I last wrote her about this.

    FC: I wouldn't know about that. All I know is that Strong Star is having jitters just thinking about the scenes she'll be doing with her.

    TS: In that case I think she's got all the method acting done that she'll need...I never let on but I was always a bag of nerves around the Princess when I was younger.

    FC: Have you seen her in makeup yet? I swear Strong is the spit and image of you when she gets her mane styled.

    TS: I's quite eerie, actually. Like looking on a past life... and I've done that a few times.

    FC: Really?

    TS: Time travel spell. Great for brief observational research, useless for anything else...[long pause]...almost anything. [her tone was quite melancholic on that last word]

    FC: [pause] woah, really must be the Element of Magic to

    TS: You mentioned excised characters, Mr. Class?

    FC: Whu?...oh, yes. Well, I will put it this way. it's just simply a case of us not having the resources to carry a cast of thousands at times. I mean we've even had to do some clever magical image replication to make our background cast seem larger. Though it will occasionally result in doppelgängers becoming apparent on some wide-shots.

    TS: Oddly enough I don't have an issue with the accuracy of that. Taking some events into account.

    FC: How do you mean?

    TS: What? Oh sorry, talking to myself. Doesn't matter. You know, old age. [Nervous laughter]

    FC: I see...[pause]...well the other issue is that, regrettably, with time and pacing issues some non-essential characters have had to be cut. No offence against the ponies they're based on. We just felt that working in every farm-worker on Sweet Apple Acres or every single business and farm in Ponyville into the plot was incredibly resource-heavy and tended to distract from the main crux of the plotline. It's sacrificing reality for story, I know, but there's not much else we can do with the time we have to work in. There are even some scenes we've had to cut involving yourself and your friends at times. And, very regrettably, one very important figure. Someone we really hoped we could have used.

    TS: Who? Surely not one of the girls? [Her tone is slightly alarmed]

    FC: Oh no, not your friends, they've been nothing but enthusiastic. Rarity has practically thrown herself at the costume department, Applejack and her family is providing catering for all the Ponyville shoots. Fluttershy has been no end of help with the scenes involving any animals, she's really taken Dreamer under her wing. Rainbow Dash has glady helped the effects team with Rainboom and stuntshots...they were saying they felt kinda redundant when they have the Captain 'Danger' Dash doing all the special effects.  And don't get us started on Pinkie, I think the whole crew is partied out when she seems to insist on throwing one every...You're laughing, Ms. Sparkle?

    TS: [The sound of barely stifled laughter]...I'm sorry...Oh it's just, yes that's just so like honestly makes me feel bad that I've been such a stick in the mud over this with you, Mr. Class.

    FC: It's quite all right, Ms. Sparkle...if I'm honest I really suspected you'd take the most convincing that we would do the best we could with such difficult material. It's just such a shame that we couldn't bring this other pony on board. For the most part it shouldn't affect things too much, if anything it will allow us a lot more room for things involving your friends. But it will certainly get quite tricky later on...that is, if there is a later on. It all depends on how the project is received.

    TS: I'm sorry Mr. Class, but, who exactly are we talking about?

    FC: That's the thing, Ms. sparkle...[sigh]...there's been an injunction filed blocking any reference on set or in anything to do with the show. As a representative of the 'Friendship is Magic' project, I can't tell you. I mean, we expected a degree of censorship to be imposed. Even after so long some of the things you went through, especially the Nightmare Moon incident, are still classified by the Royal Court and the EMoD. We thought having the Princesses on board know...count for something. But, Hay, if even they can't supersede on something it must be serious.

    TS: So let me get this straight. You're being censored? How in the Wide World of Equestria can you even begin to write this show!? I'll get this nonsense straightened out, just watch me. One letter is all it will take.

    FC: I appreciate the offer Ms. sparkle, but if only it were as simple as that...[sigh]...regardless of the censorship issue, the fact remains that the reason we can't feature...this individual, is that they themselves have blocked it. They will not give any permission to be depicted, even with a changed name or identity. It really does put us in a bind, but, don't worry, we're movie-makers, we can work around it. I really shouldn't have mentioned it in the first place...excuse me...[a fumbling noise]...I'll just stop the recording for a moment and fetch a new cassette...[more fumbling noise]

    TS: [slightly indistinct over background noise] EMoD?...Wait. Wait a moment! This Pony, you don't mean...

    Here the recording terminates. The next cassette merely contains voice-coaching pointers between First Class, Fluttershy and Dreamer on the elements of a good cheer.

    As further information, it should be noted that Twilight Sparkle was incredibly angry at the exclusion of the mystery pony and would still feel a lingering suspicion over the thematic and artistic direction of 'Friendship is Magic'. However. when she discovered that it was, indeed, drawing young ponies into libraries to find out more about her and her friends and associated information, she was finally convinced. She'd still have preferred a documentary though.

    'Friendship is Magic' has gone on to win several awards in its long running and has generated a loyal and very vocal fanbase across Equestria. 'Derpy Hooves' did go on to be a fan favourite proving that some of the most extraordinary things come from unexpected sources.

    As for the mystery pony who demanded exclusion from the entire show, I will not risk any possible legal infraction by mentioning them in the same passage as the 'FiM' production.


    (Extract from Britannia & the Elements of Harmony)

    0 comments · 165 views
  • 118w, 1d
    Britannia and the Children of the Night: A vignette about vampires

    When it comes to writing an epic-length story series, dear reader. one of the things you will have to deal with are scenes you envision that take place months or even years down the line in books yet to be written or that may not even be written depending on whether the plan changes or you are unable to live up to your ambitions. Uggh.

    In terms of my fanfic this is no-doubt going to be my biggest hurdle but the whole point behind this unprofitable exercise is to get myself writing no-matter what. It helps that its something I enjoy and a story I want to tell but actually pushing myself to write every week or even every day is a massive commitment. I aim to write at least one chapter per week on the Unauthorised Biography but, for the moment, that really does depend on my work load. I have a lot of stuff to get on with and tidy up this week so I will probably wait until that's done.

    In the mean time, this is a thought I had when I was thinking about how Luna's Bat-winged Pegasus guards fit into my interpretation of the Equestrian Military. Now I was hesitant to commit to anything until now and, really, I still haven't as my work will still use Canon from the show as the unbreakable line I may not cross. I interpret MLP:Fim (in my fanfic verse) as a historical biopic movie-show documenting the lives of the Mane 6 for the Equestrian public with some singing and slapstick humour for the foals. This allows me to write with a suitably adult tone for my fanfic's subject matter without removing the 'factual' elements of Friendship is Magic but, still, what is confirmed in the show is lore.

    As we haven't had any explanation or further appearances of Luna's Royal Guard I will choose to wait until season 3 (or further depending on how long it takes) before featuring them but this is the idea that wouldn't die today and I thought worth committing to print while it's still fresh in my mind.

    WIP Excerpt from Britannia and the Children of the Night

    There are many stories from the time of the great schism between Celestia and Luna and the short-lived rebellion by the entity that would become known as Nightmare Moon. Many have passed into myth and legend as the passage of time and the reticence of the, now lone, Princess of Equestria has allowed the cultural memory to become twisted into nursery rhymes and bedtime stories for young foals.

    One such 'story' is that of the Night Guard. Not to be confused with the watch-ponies and guards who patrol our streets when most ponies are a-bed, the Night Guard were once the Royal Life Guards to Princess Luna, ruler of the night-time domain. As the time came when, overcome with loneliness and jealousy and mysterious and ancient dark magics, Princess Luna transformed herself into Nightmare Moon, the Night Guard, sworn to be loyal to their princess, took up their malevolent ruler's cause to cast perpetual night upon Equestria.

    As with their mistress they too were transformed by the dark powers. Now: dark coated, bat-winged, lynx-eyed and fanged, they clashed with their former comrades and allies in Celestia's Royal Guard in open battle, the first time pony had faced pony since before the founding of Equestria herself. No real records remain of the actual events that finally led to the defeat of Nightmare Moon and how Celestia unleashed the Elements of Harmony upon her sister (and the Princess is still not inclined to tell) But tales do tell of how, in the final battle of sister against sister, the Night Guard, loyal to the bitterest of ends, finally forsook their once noble vows.

    It was by no means unanimous and it had been a decision made after much bloodshed and suffering finally opened the soldiers' eyes to the monstrousness of their deeds and, desiring to do their utmost to atone, they turned on their beloved ruler and fought in the name of Celestia. Just like Celestia's own guard, they fell in droves, even moreso as their mistress cursed their betrayal with a cruel vengeance.

    Once the battle had been fought and the former Princess Luna was imprisoned within the heavenly body she once controlled, Celestia pardoned the surviving Night-Guard, eager to end the strife and reform the broken and suffering land that was now her own sole responsibility. Forgiveness and redemption, however, the Night Guard could never attain. Their new forms: dark and nocturnal and with a new and unsettling need to consume flesh, could not be changed, the power to do so encased within the moon along with the princess who had wielded it. As such, they were now outcasts in Equestria, their new forms marking them as traitors and a permanent reminder down the generations of their betrayal.

    And, so, they shunned the world of daylight that now hurt their nocturnal eyes and the Equestrians that now treated them with fear, scorn and disgust. As Celestia left the ruined palace that she and Luna had once called home for her new residence in the many-towered unicorn city of Canterlot, the Night-Guard left for their new home and their place of self-imposed exile. It was a fortress Luna herself had raised in the mountains bordering Equestria in preparation for her war: a fortress built upon the ruins of one from long before there even was an Equestria. She had named it the Nocturnal Palace but its old name still clung to its black buttresses and towering spires: Midnight Castle. And it was here that the Night-Guard made their home in the wilderness of Tramplevania and, it is said, their descendents still reside to this day.

    Some say they are now monstrous creatures, swooping down in the night to terrify outlying villages and feast upon the flesh and blood of the living and that only the power of harmony itself and the glory of Celestia's sun can defeat them. Others say that they still march beneath the banner of Nightmare Moon and await the day, as the prophesies foretell, when in the thousandth year of her imprisonment the stars will aid in her escape and they will redeem themselves to their mistress of the night and help bring eternal darkness to Equestria once again.

    And then, there are those that say that they live their lives in peace, their curse still hanging over them, and simply wish for the day when Princess Luna, their true Princess, will return and cast her beautiful night over them again and use her magic to undo the spell that divides them from their fellow ponies.

    The truth, as it tends to be, is simpler but, also, a lot more complicated...

    Atop the gatehouse that provided the sole ground entrance to the Nocturnal Palace, the Night-Guards gazed down at the approaching line of carriages and torch-bearing ponies. They could make out everypony in the convoy quite clearly, their catlike eyes making the night appear as bright as day to them. High above the castle walls and above the tree-line either side of the track that led up to the fortress, bat-winged and armour-clad ponies kept a watchful vigil.

    This was their domain: the one that the Princess of the Sun had granted them, and they guarded it zealously, even from their own, supposed, allies in the Equestrian Army. Out here, in the hinterlands of the nation, this was restricted territory. As far as most of Equestria was concerned, the Night-Guard didn't even exist. For now, that was exactly as they liked it, even when they truly truly didn't.

    A single figure flapped her own bat-wings and landed atop a crenellation in the middle of the gatehouse. A banner swayed from the parapet beneath her hooves bearing the Eye of Luna: their Regimental symbol: a permanent reminder of their cause and curse. Let us look at this figure. Her coat is a grey-blue, like a cloud at twilight. Polished dark armour sweeps in ornate shapes over her surprisingly slight figure. It conceals her cutie-mark but certainly doesn't leave other aspects of her most definitely feminine figure to the imagination.

    Looking at her face it is difficult to determine her age. It is rather youthful if you look at it in the right light, not that light is much of a factor at this moment of time. The term pixie-like comes to mind. She's removed her ornate helmet, revealing a devil-may-care shock of lylac hair and two tufted ears. Her face is a little snub-nosed but in such a way that would suggest something quite foal-like and her cheeks are similarly rather full. There is nothing foal-like about her yellow eyes, though. Regardless of the feline slits, the arched eyebrows and slight crow's feet gave her a very adult expression. Coupled with a slight smirk, it gave the impression as if she were about to tell a particularly saucy anecdote...of which she knew many.

    The Kolonel-Contessa Svelte Von Nocturne of Princess Luna's Ancient Order of the Moon cast her sights over her brethren in arms from the land of the Sun as their carriages began to cross onto the draw-bridge. Her eyes lighted upon one of the marching ponies in particular.

    The unicorn in question had already drawn the attention of the Night Guard scouts, accompanied as she was by a real beast of a manticore that prowled behind her and occasionally shot belligerent glares at the fluttering ponies of the night. To Svelte, the unicorn mare's coat blazed white in her night-vision. There was sign of a uniform but it was hidden beneath a white silken cape of some regiment she was unfamiliar with. Likewise, her helmet looked like something that belonged in a museum but she seemed to wear it with an easy dignity that told of somepony who had grown very comfortable with it. The face, and indeed the body, beneath the uniform is what made Svelte raise an appraising eyebrow. An alabaster statue, lips pursed in a classic Guard-pony poker-face, framed by a few wayward tresses of scarlet mane and with eyes like icy pools edged by thick black lashes.

    Svelte's smile widened into an impish grin, sharp fangs glinting in the torchlight as the cavalcade passed beneath the thresh-hold and within the curtain-wall of Midnight Castle. She took one last lingering look over the unusually attired guard-pony.

    “Vell, vell,” she purred to herself. “It seems zhey've started taking my dispatches to heart. Zhey've actually sent a cute vun.”

    A possible scene from Britannia and the Children of the Night: A story of vampires, werewolves, cheesy horror stereotypes and shipping ;)

    Yes, Svelte's design is primarily inspired by the female Night Guard that you can catch in the big banner thing at the top of this page if you flick through. I don't know her fanon name if she has one but if she does then lets say Svelte is a relative or something (heck in the Britannia-verse all the Night Guard are somewhat related) I just couldn't get this image of a vampiric sexpot pony out of my head, against whom I could throw Britannia and see what happened. The answer: surprising, actually, even outside the potential shipteasing. We'll have classic horror story cheese, a couple of inverted stereotypes, some genuine chills )I hope) and some rather touching and sad moments. I like Svelte as I see her, she's going to be fun to write. So, yeah. So want to write this. Will have to wait.

    Almost forgot about this but if I had to use something to give the feel of who the Night Guard are and one scene in the story I have in mind in particular this is very it!

    1 comments · 126 views
  • ...

        "And Clover the Clever raised the Hoof-Grenade up on high, saying:

"O Princess of the Sun, bless this thy Hoof Grenade that with it thou mayest bless thy enemies with the power of Harmony, in thy mercy."

And the Princess did grin..."

"Such were the words that captured the imagination of the young Britannia in this: the first volume in military journalist, Carbon Copy's Unauthorised Biography of the famous soldier and adventurer. For years the Equestrian public has thrilled to tales of her journeys to far off lands, the ancient and powerful artefacts she's recovered and the perilous missions she's undertaken in the name of Princess and Country.

But what of the Mare behind the Myth? What of her hopes and fears? Her trials and triumphs? and her loves and losses?

In this first short-story we are introduced to a side of Britannia that the general public may not be aware of: what she was like as a young filly, adventuring in far away Zebrica beside her explorer father, and how she was forced to come face to face with probably her greatest challenge: her destiny...

...Every legend starts somewhere."

           -Quotation taken from the 1st ed. of Britannia: the Unauthorised Biography, Book 1: Britannia and the Holy Hoof-Grenade by Carbon Copy, military correspondent for the Canterlot Globe.  

A fanfiction written in the style of an Equestrian biography of dubious credentials based on Britannia: the pony mascot for the Brony UK Convention. You may laugh, you may cry, you may be thrilled or, possibly, you may just be confused. It's probably because of all the British-ness. Just pour yourself a cup of tea, butter up some crumpets and enjoy.

Comments and critique are very much appreciated. I want to go somewhere with this.

First Published
3rd Aug 2012
Last Modified
3rd Aug 2012
#1 · 121w, 3h ago · · · Appendices ·

just seeing Britannia automagically makes me think of Code Geass


Have 20 Moustaches for being bucking awesome!


#3 · 121w, 3h ago · · · Appendices ·


What am I going to do with all these moustaches? *starts distributing them among random passers-by*

Share the awesome :rainbowkiss:

#4 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Appendices ·

I love your fanfic! :twilightsmile: Are you gonna write more about Britannia and Roary?

#5 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Appendices ·


If I can get my headspace in order, yes. Though we're fast-forwarding ahead by about 10 years or so, Thanks for the positive vibes :pinkiehappy:

#6 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Appendices ·

>>Hazel Hooves Ok, I'll be keeping an eye out. :yay:

You're welcome! :twilightsmile:

#7 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Appendices ·

Dude, I haven't read this yet, but it's in the queue, and I would have read it anyway because of THAT TITLE! You are brilliant!  I'll edit this after I've read it.

#8 · 119w, 2d ago · · · Appendices ·

This godamn thing. This was a joy to read. If you write more, I'll read it without a pause.

#9 · 119w, 2d ago · · · Appendices ·


Thanks for the encouragement.

The 2nd instalment is in my headspace at the moment and will be written once further water testing has taken place. There will be action, tragedy, perils, eighties-style club music, conspiracies and a terminal amount of guarding things... Oh well, being an Equestrian soldier can't all be glamour and adventure :P

Good heavens, ser, I haven't been this desperately hooked on a story since the last Sharpe novel came out.

Bravo, ser - masterfully done.

#11 · 119w, 2d ago · · · Appendices ·

Oh man, this was awesome. The style of writing is unusual for a fanfic and really cool - I loved the "further reading" suggestions. Looking forward to the sequel :pinkiehappy:

#12 · 119w, 2d ago · · · Appendices ·


Thanks. You muscled through the appendices. Have a cookie :pinkiehappy:

#14 · 119w, 2d ago · · · Appendices ·

Is the title a pun of the Holy Hand-grenade from Monty Python?:rainbowlaugh:

#15 · 119w, 1d ago · · · Appendices ·


I believe that was the original idea. Britty's character design was developed by the B.U.C.K convention for whom she's a mascot.

I've made some Monty Python as well as other British comedy references in the piece but it's not overwhelming.

Love those movies though :rainbowlaugh:

#16 · 119w, 1d ago · · · Appendices ·


Thank you, the work of Bernard Cornwell has been an influence here. Though my work sadly contains a lesser degree of dastardly Frenchmen to confound.

Griffins on the other hoof, well, we will see :P

#17 · 119w, 1d ago · · · Appendices ·


They're really good. My favourites are the Holy Grail and the Life of Brian.

#18 · 119w, 1d ago · · · Appendices ·


I think Brian is the smarter of the two and my personal fave but Holy Grail has enough off-the-wall silly and endlessly quotable lines to make it a fun movie to keep revisiting (and annoy everybody by saying 'Ni!' randomly)

#19 · 119w, 1d ago · · · Appendices ·


"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries! Now go away or I shall have to taunt you, a second time!"

One of my favourite lines.

#20 · 119w, 1d ago · · · Appendices ·


I like to think that something similar to these lines were the rude words that Zeneela said in her own language in Part II of my fic. :twilightblush:

#21 · 119w, 1d ago · · · Appendices ·


What? She said that Britannia's mother was a hamster and her father smelt of Elderberries? That doesn't seem like that bad of an insult. Welll, aside from the hamster thing. And the elderberries... you know what? Forget what I just said.:pinkiecrazy:

#22 · 117w, 6d ago · · · Appendices ·

I've added an Alternative Universe tag. Read the blogpost 'Transcript Vignette' to get an idea why. Sorry if those kind of stories aren't your thing and you wanted to follow this story but I feel the artistic direction of this series kinda needed it. :rainbowderp:

:rainbowdetermined2: This'll get me in the mood for the BUCK fanfic contest!

#24 · 62w, 3d ago · · · Appendices ·

I'm going to have to read this.

I'm not British, I was born and raised in California... Still wish I was from England.

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