Following the assassination of Princess Celestia, the Long Night withered the once bountiful Apple Harvests of the Apple family. In the years since, they have been reduced to dumpster diving and street life. Applebloom, unwilling to continue in such a state, violates her elder sister's wishes in order to find help from Applejack's friends, who surely must be better off.
Unfortunately, Applebloom's journey to Canterlot shows her the true fates of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, who are as unable to help Applebloom as they are to help themselves. Applebloom's desperation grows with each reunion. In the end, she must turn to powers greater than begging to save her own future and those of many others.
Illustrations by the very talented Cyaneus!
This seems promising i will defiantly read this later
Remarkable. I thoroughly enjoyed this. More thoughts later, when I've had a chance to chew it over, but for now: remarkable. You really understand your ponies.
Dang.
That was a mostly depressing romp through a "what might yet be". (Yes - the ending was happy, but the ride getting there was bleak...)
Still - fairly well written with few grammar or spelling errors.
I commend you and give you a thumbs up.
(Not a fav because frankly, it was too much of a bummer for me to want to return and read it again some time. I get enough depression from real life, thank you.
)
This is remarkably good. I commend you for writing this.
Outstanding.
I don't suppose you'd particularly mind if I wrote a parody of this?
Well, speaking of pinkie pie she was right. Rarity did become a crazy cat lady.
Mercy, this was great! For this being your first story up here, you did a phenomenal job.
Wonderful!
Short, succinct and to the point.
A beautifully-woven tale better than a lot of stories on here with much longer chapters.
I salute you.
A masterfully crafted story if i say so.
Wow, just wow. That was awesome. Very few plot holes for such a short story, and a very interesting premise.
I am very impressed, take my likes
Still reading, but when I heard Spike's conclusion of Fluttershy, I immediately thought of Self Esteem by The Offspring and when I heard the line, how could so many lives go wrong? I thought of The Kids Aren't Alright, again, by The Offspring.
I really want to dislike this story, because it is so very sad. Feels like they'd all be better off dead ...
I suppose it's the little things that kill.
Still, it wouldn't be fair to punish your great writing and characterization so, under duress I'm liking and favouriting.
Sad face.
Chapter One's illustration is done, everypony!
More on the way!
1023141
Oh, you don't have to be defiant about it, but thank you!
1023560
Thanks! You're welcome to write a parody, sequel, or whatever else you please; that's what makes it fan-fiction!
1023187>>1023271>>1023310>>1023691>>1023757>>1023804>>1023905>>1025264
Thanks very much!
1023580
You caught me! I did in fact get my inspiration for Rarity's story from that episode.
1024827
I admit I had to YouTube those songs to figure out what you were talking about. Band name recognition is not my strong suit.
Thanks for reading!
I hate to be this girl, but.... why doesn't rarity use her gem finding spell?
1027847: Local gem shortage since Spike took up residence near Canterlot? He did mention he was eating them instead of hoarding ...
There should be an interquel between chapter 10 and the epilogue, like who was the one who assassinated Princess Celestia.
1029010: I don't want to spoil anything, but read the description of the assassin again, and consider carefully Applebloom's time-altering suggestion to Twilight Sparkle ...
1029467
Heh. I forgot. But I would like to see how they prevented the assassination.
1029492 : Applebloom's idea should have rendered the assassin incapable ...
GREAT job. Really. This was an incredible story, and one of the most sadly underrated on the site.
Do keep up the good work, and take this watch.
OW
RIGHT IN THE HAPINESS
DAMN YOU ITS SO DEPRESSSSSSING
1042754
Thank you!
Slate-grey coat... Gold eyes... Delirious...
Wild guess, but did Derpy just accidentally drop a boulder on Celestia?
Must read on!
Wow... I will never think of a certain pony in quite the same way again
The story was great, and so was the pacing, but whatever happened to Scootaloo?
Yeesh... the Dark tag fits this story nicely. As soon as the second cat appeared, it clicked -- yep, she's a crazy cat lady.
Oh man, I'm dreading Pinkie's intro...
i agree what happend to scoots
Wow, what an erupt ending...
And that's why I love it so much! Leaves a lot to the imagination; we already know everything turned out alright.
The whole time-travel gig is overdone to death, but you did it beautifully. T'was very entertaining.
Nice touch with the illustrations as well. Did you draw them yourself?
EDIT: Oh, it was Cyaneus. Awesome work, dude!
1023141
I now imagine you reading this while saying "I'm going to read this just to defy you!" /grammarnazi
I think the mare who once parried the masterstroke of an incarnation of Chaos with some pieces of paper would have planned even for her own death.
Scootaloo's ill fate was omitted... fatal scooter crash? Found by Foal Protective Services (if one goes with the idea she is an orphan...)?
Other than that? Perfection.
Quite the narrative, in spite of an easily predictable resolution. You painted an image of a depressing future for the Mane 6 indeed. Although, Pinkie Pie just seems like Pinkie Pie. Aside from her new pastry ingredient, I suppose.
Very vivid writing, and a good story too.
I don't buy the characters' fates as "in character" with the show, but hey, this is fiction.
I LOVED this story. Nice view on how things could turn out bad and a fairly good resolution though not completely satisfying.
Two questions though, since the elements of harmony broke up, shouldn't Discord have escaped?
And what happened to Scootaloo during all of this?
Blueblood?
You've been hitting Fluttershy, haven't you? Your wife, the Element of Kindness, and so much more?
Excuse me, I have a fictional dimension to visit, and a noble to kill, resurrect, and kill again. Followed by another resurrection, project SAM, resurrection, Project Cupcakes, resurrection, Project Factory, resurrection, Project September with a barrier so all the explosive energy goes straight to his corpse, then place his soul in Sunnytown. Followed an eternity later by resurrecting him into Alex Warlorn's Dark World. I may also introduce several SCP and Creepypasta objects to him, and at the end, give every Brony a weapon, tell them what he did, and tamper with physics enough that they can all attack him at the same time with unlimited ammunition and an inability to get tired.
I will also make sure he stays sane using magic, so all the horror is processed properly.
Dark and sad through the bulk of it, but satisfyingly sweet in the end. The story does what it meant to: convey strong emotion. It isn't bogged down or overwritten, it says what is needed and leaves the rest to the reader's mind. The character analysis is thought out and understandable. The one debatable point being if Celestia is actually mortal or immortal or something in between.
A great story over all. I don't usually read sad stories, but this came highly recommended and I was not disappointed. Thanks for a great read.
Not a bad story. I enjoyed it, and got invested. You did a great job giving just enough detail to allow us to form mental pictures (quite vivid ones, at that) but not so much as to get bogged down with them.
There were some things I didn't like, such as the assassin's identity and, spoilers, how willing Luna was to cast such a drastic spell with little regard for how it would effect the rest of the world, let alone the ponies whose lives may have even improved over the years.
Regardless of my small gripes, it was a well-written and engaging story, and I enjoyed reading it. It even got me a little emotional at one point
Good job!
This is one of the funniest parodies of over-the-top grimdark fanfiction I have ever read
Pinkie Pie (and the ending!) especially had me rolling, though I suppose Rarity's could have used some work. I mean, you spent so long describing a street corner, I thought for certain you were teasing a less-than-glamorous lifestyle for her, lost in the big city as she is. Or did you imply that with Applejack, when Applebloom woke up late hearing hoofsteps..?
Seriously good stuff, assuming I'm supposed to be laughing.
Bluuuebloooood...
This story is crazy good. I'm amazed at how much emotion you pack into such short chapters.
I'll write more in depth praise at the end.
"The Canterlot Asylum for the Criminally Insane..."
NOOOOO!
Now to read.
EDIT:
Spike!
You write very well. There was fantastic imagery in this chapter. For example, "She felt as if the clouds were taking pictures of her torment and laughing at her distress" was a great description that I've never seen before. Well done here.
D'awww... I love Spike.
This is very well thought out. Way to have Spike reveal your great insights to the characters and Celestia's understanding of them. It flowed well and gave us that "Ooohhh!" moment.
Now... to the Star Swirl the Bearded Wing!
Spectacular. One of my very favorites. Easy (and even delightful) to read, very well-thought out and "believable" within the universe, with plenty of references to the show and unspoken winks at the readers (I say that because Derpy's name is not written once, but we all know exactly who was affected by the princess' spell).
And top of it all, you're a wonderful writer with a flowing, descriptive style that moves quickly without losing integrity or interest. I'm amazed at this. Well worth the read, and well-deserving of its spot on Equestria Daily.
I look forward to more from you.
FIRST! ...im sorry
This is gunna be good! :) i cant wait to see where this is going, esPecially withthst description! I wonder what happened to sweetie bell and scootaloo...
Ok thats highly depressing.. I swear u better make anchapter where blueblood gets whats coming to him! Man fluttershy BUST OUT THE STARE! God man why did u write this like that!? God! AHHHHHHGGGG!!!
Haha! Go Spike! I'm enjoying this story very much so far