Dusk Star is a grey pony who moves into a new town and is confronted by new problems that he has never had to deal with before. Bullying in school eventually leads to his fragile psyche fragmenting and reforming into an alternate personality known as Dawn Star. Dawn is a rough and malicious reflection of Dusk who has vowed to protect Dusk from the pains of this world. As time goes on new faces mix up the effects of Dusk's and Dawn's relations and eventually throw everything into turmoil. As the chapters go on new questions are born and old answers are elaborated on as the total scale of the story grows to epic proportions such as small insights missed in the show all the way to a question looming in the back of everypony's head. Read on to find out. WARNING: The first few chapters were not my best work and are fairly boring but crucial to the later story.
BubblesOnMyButt
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Comments ( 131 )
dude finish it i would be surprised if dusk doesn't get pissed and attack them ![]()
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Thank everypony for the constructive comments and no he won't attack anyone
(I would get too creative and have to turn this mature lol)
sorry for not introducing Dawn yet, i have to give a reason as to why Dawn would develop. He will be coming very soon however I can assure that.
DAMN! I MEAN DAMN! ![]()
this story is so baws! you sir have earned my eternal respect.
Tracking!!
Amazing story!!!!! If you keep up this level of awesome, this will be one of my favorite stories!
I like the way things are going so far! I think there are a bit of grammar issues, mostly minor, that could be implanted, such as commas.
Other than that, I think you have a really good premise going here. Definitely not a bad place to write, huh, Alex?
Trey
amazing, i really enjoy this short story. I really like the way that this is heading. Keep up the good work.![]()
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commas need to be added in places. Sometimes your sentences are in between run-on and compound.
>>65989 Thanks man, I appreciate the enthusiasm! Sorry for all the errors in previous chapters, I've been trying to get a chapter out each night and sometimes I have to cut it close so I'll forget to proofread. I should have fixed most of the errors by now but if you find any let me know so others can get a more understandable experience. ![]()
Only had the chance to read a couple paragraphs but I like it. Tracking ![]()
as always, very well done...Nice cliff hangar, i could expect some counselling for Dusk hmmm?
Kudos to you, sir.
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"was still getying used to..." <---?
Also, last chapter, make sure you know the difference between your and you're.
Oh, and I like the story so far. Definitely an interesting read!
Chance! For redemption for Dusk. Lovin' This everyday
Kudos to you, sir...![]()
Today I'm giving a real treat to those who like the darker side of the story. All of the Dawn fans out there will be intrigued with this twist, I guarantee it.![]()
I mentioned Dawn fans because there is always at least 1. Personally though, Poly and Morning are my favorite.
that was good *sigh* l just wish the updates would come out sooner![]()







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