The pain of losing ones friends is never easy and one pegasus knows that all too well.
My first attempt at a fan fiction.
Just a simple one shot.
Chapters (1)
Psicosis
Joined 19th Jul, 2012 ·
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- Psicosis · 11k words · 35 3 · 1.7k views
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Not bad for a first fanfic! Some of the formatting was a bit funky, and some grammar elements were missing, but overall it was a pretty good fic! Have a moustache
>>sierra_seven_
Thank you very much!
I hope to get better and write more.
1005891 I eagerly look forward to it. Just remember, the hardest part of writing is convincing yourself it is actually good, which it most certainly is
I need to first cry and then write something.
How did they died? ...It's all i can say now, until i calm down...
Please explain us what happened. So i can feel... uhm... better? Yes, let's say that i will feel better if i know what happened.
awwwww how did Applebloom and Sweetie Bell die?
1005941
I'm sorry... I can't give you the reason for their deaths.
I wanted to leave that to readers imagination.
I was thinking of putting a reason in, but I felt it would be best to leave it to the readers imagination.
Sorry.
1005950
I'm sorry, I can't give you a reason for their deaths.
I wanted to leave that to the readers imagination.
I was thinking about putting a reason in but figured it would be better to leave it to readers imagination.
So sorry.
1005957 D'aaaaaaaaaw that Fluttershy's face! :3
Well, off my dreams to figure that, since it's midnight here in Italy.
I'm still crying, by the way, this is pretty heavy stuff...
I last cried like this when i read "My Little Dashie"... well, like that time but probably i'll not gonna cry for three days in a row... Or so i hope...
Seven Asses.
Aww, that's was awesome. Some tears were gathering on my eyes.
Hope to see more of your work.
i like the story, but i wasn't touched at all, mainly because my heart is made of stone, but she should really join them.
after-all, they can't crusade forever, right? (sarcasm)
all in all, i didn't really like this story much...
1005981
I'm sorry this made you cry, but did you really compare this to My Little Dashie?
I love you!
My Little Dashie is a work by the Gods.
I don't believe this fic is anything compared to it.
I thank you so much for your amazing comment!
1006014
I'm sorry to hear that, but thank you for the feedback
I promise to get better at writing!
Cute idea, but your writing needs to be fleshed out more (mainly the dialogue). Definitely not bad for a first fic. I think if you read some stories and study how some of the good authors on the site work, you can learn and write something better.
Overall, not bad. And thank you for avoiding most first fic stories, which is "I am an alicorn and I can defeat absolutely everything possible". No. Seriously. Thank you.
1006046
Haha not a problem.
I wanted to go for something simple as a first fic.
Thanks for the feedback I will use those tips.
Yet again thanks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqXPrylWkBE
When scootalo starts talking to the girls, play the link.
1006070
Oh man...
You made me have feels.
Thanks for letting me hear this amazing sound.
1006091
Your welcome!
P.S
Someone is being watched, and it's not me...
1006120
Thank you very much!
I feel so loved tonight!
I enjoyed this fanfic very much . Keep at it!
In This River - Black Label Society
As i liked the story but i have to amit i dident even shed a tear to MLD yet somehow i cryed like a little filly about this
i.imgur.com/ThHnS.gif
1006414
I must check your work out then, I'm a big fan of grimdark and torture.
About the grammar, yeah I'm not the best at it.
I need to get an editor who would look over my work and point out stuff like that to me.
Sorry, but for now (until I get one) that's the best I can do.
Thank you for your lovely comment.
Wow I acctualy cried to this.
1006017 Yes i do. Because it's one of those thing that you don't forget so well... Or quick.
This was pretty heavy. All i can say is that it was pretty heavy, like MLD, according to me.
1009424
Well thank you for that.
You have just made my day.
1009436 Hold on a sec, this was your first fanfic? Wow...
1009442
Yeah first thing I have ever wrote.
I hope to get better in the future.
I really want to become an excellent writer.
1009870 Honestly, you're already very good!
great fanfic made me cry
1033869
I'm happy you enjoyed it!
But sorry about the tears.
>>psicosis its OK its late at night and everypony is sleeping am going to get some sleep keep up the good work (sighed your fateful fan Yoshii)
1033884
That made me grin ear to ear.
Thanks for being my fan!
an inspirational speech and a song
1108462
Thanks for those I guess.
MW2 is meh, but RVB is awesome.
1109307
i think we need to lighten the mood with a kid getting owned on xbox
1110320
Thank you for the watch and the entertaining video!
1110336 your welcome
i laughed like crazy the first time i watched this video
you produced tears
, well done and every bit worth your recommendation to read.
1113928
I'm glad you enjoyed, but sorry about the tears.
They happen, not ashamed to admit it.
I loved it but when Scootaloo starting talking to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, and when she thought she heard their voices; I cried
1006070 The link is broken you foal! Not to provoke anger in you... eep!
I find it sad. My eyes teared up but I did not cry. (trying to stop crying completly). Good story tho. Keep ritting, I'd like to read more of this. Fellings felt:
(also a little smile apeared in my heart).
Potential. Much potential here, and not bad for a first story.
Obviously it's been well over 2 years since you wrote this, and you won't thank me for drawing your attention back to this. I do have a few questions though. Beyond showing sad scoots crying over her friends' graves, and a touching moment drawing on feels to stimulate tears, what exactly was the point of this? How did Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle die? What promise did Scootaloo make? Why is it significant that it's been five years? Why has Scootaloo waited so long?
I only ask because this intrigued me. I'll be looking at another story of yours in a moment.
1113942 you're actually good at making sad stories, but it lacked of details of why sweetie belle and apple bloom died, and what is their last words, and many more