I Batmane!

“Getting into dubstep sir?” I laughed so hard, t'was killing me xD

you have some nice ideas, good story, but seriously, think of some synonyms for the dark stallion, it's always batmane, batmane, batmane (I counted the word 41 times so far)

>>10057841005784

Will do sir. Anything else?

nananananananana

batmane

I'm catching some grammatical errors here

Would you possibly like an editor?

>>10059281005928

Of course! I've never had an editor before.

Please tell me if the Joker's going to show up along with his unique sidekick  in this tale of yours?

>>10059891005989

Read my previous Batmane story ;)

great chapter please write more.

Good.

>>10059371005937

Great! I'll do it.

Pinkie as the Joker? Twilight as Gordon? Fluttershy as a romantic interest? It's going seriously OoC but I have to admit this story is certainly creative.  The problem is that you've never really managed to grab or hold my attention.  You've never made me believe the characters, story or situation.  You've never explained what happened properly, setting the stage for the action.  You've just shoe-horned the FiM characters into the Batman mythos, and not very expertly at that.  Now you are simply rewriting the Batman stories word-for-word but with FiM characters instead.

If I have a serious problem with it on technical grounds, its chapters are far too short and lack detail.   For example: The first Batmane story should have been at least twenty chapters and much longer ones.  Indeed, you could have afforded to seperate the two unrelated stories of Batmane's arrival and the fight with Redmane into a 'Batmane Rises' and 'The Dark Neight'.

In that seperate, second story, the identity of Redmane should have been a major secret that was touched on, with her trail of seemingly-pointless murders emphasised (Twilight not understanding how anypony could do this) repeatedly until the final battle and climactic reveal in Spade Chemicals.  There should have also been a meeting between Twilight and Pinkie during the story when Twilight initially embraces having her old friend around, hoping to have her as an ally, but noticing that, in a subtle way, her nature has changed: her humour has become cruel and she is only interested in her own amusement.  An effort should have been made to try to bamboozle the reader into thinking that maybe Pinkie and Redmane are seperate personalities.  Finally, there would be the last battle and Twilight should have had a chance to try to reach out to her friend only to realise that Pinkie Pie is gone and that only Redmane remains.

Overall this is a fascinating story and you should be commended for making the effort but... ah... really, in all honesty... no.  Just no.  I'll bow out here.

>>11050561105056

Fair points all across the board. I go stronger when I'm not crossing over. Fluttershy is not a romantic interest for Dark Star. She's a romantic interest for Pony Bat. But yeah missed that point right there I guess. I'll keep trying though, and I hope you'll stick around for the journey so I can be better. You should honestly read my Reviews and Critique's, they are much better than these stories. And by the way, honestly, you need to work on critiquing. Friendship and Love.

this terrible, you should feel bad even writing red star into you last fic. Batbrony does not approve, Oblivouspony does not approve, and you should kill yourself - from mlpchan

>>12465031246503

Well that's your opinion. Although I won't be killing myself. Life is too good. As for the story, no one is perfect and I'll try again and do it better next time.

Hmmm.... I want to believe the story but it seems that an almost direct episode repeat does not do that. Sad that it was cancelled but inevitably your choice.

>>19123661912366

Had to be, unfortunately. I tried to give it a start off with the familiar but it was too familiar. In any case, I'd recommend Fiction Crisis.

>>19130421913042

I will look it to it.