gaston 2 0 592

Joined November 2011
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38w, 4d
Human in Equestria

gaston's Stories (2)

Through the eyes of a doorman
My first fic here. Just thought I'd try to write something. Just a short 2nd person story.
5,100 words · 257 views · 5 likes · 1 dislikes
ADKOL: On the Front
A short story of a soldier in the Equestrian Military. Based in the universe of "A Different Kind of Love"
1,439 words · 58 views · 1 likes · 2 dislikes

gaston's Blog (0)

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Through the eyes of a doorman by gaston

Slice of Life Human

What goes on in the lobby's of a Manehatten hotel? Only the doorman knows...

This was originally going to be just one chapter, but I figured I would split it, to get some feedback before continuing.

Rated teen for implied sex. Because implied sex is the best sex

Chapter 1 · 4th Sep 2012

1,490

Chapter 2 · 10th Sep 2012

1,636

Chapter 3 · 20th Sep 2012

1,974

Save Chapter Order
Complete · Teen
5,100 words total

First Published
2nd Sep 2012

Last Modified
20th Sep 2012

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Comments ( 3 )

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TimeTravlnDEMON

#1 · Chapter 2 · 40w, 1d ago · 1

· 1

I didn't think the chapter was bad at all. If I had to make a suggestion, I would say to somehow space out the part where Filly Grand tells the narrator about the problem. Maybe something along the lines of he just says they had an argument and then the doorman has to convince him to tell him the details. It feels like he unloads all of the issues a little too quickly the way it is now. Also,

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s320/firstpost.jpg

Because I finally figured out how to put pictures in :pinkiehappy:

TimeTravlnDEMON

#2 · Chapter 3 · 38w, 5d ago ·

I liked it. I thought the ending was a little strange, but it was still pretty funny to me. I would suggest submitting this to some groups if you haven't already.

bahatumay

#3 · Chapter 3 · 9w, 5d ago ·

Not bad.

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