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What Princess Need
Part 5: Retainers
Twenty-four Lunar Stallions stood in a tight circle, looking over a topographical map of the mountain area. “There’s a gorge here, a bottomless abyss here, a dragon used to live here, and the paths split off here,” Aegis Shield was pointing to the danger zones and other points of interest. Princess Luna had insisted on a nice out of the way place to take her little holiday, so it was up to them to make sure she was completely safe while she was there. “Now, this side of the mountain borders the Everfree Forest, known home to lions, tigers, and plenty of bears. Not to mention hydras, manticores and blanks.” He looked up at his fellow stallions, who looked positively terrified.
“Lions?” said one stallion.
“And tigers?” said another.
“And bears.” Nodded Captain Shield seriously. “Now line up, you lot, it’s up to us to patrol the road and make sure that there’s not anypony coming that not ought to be.” He gestured and they obediently lined up shoulder to shoulder, spanning the road. A couple of them fearfully locked arms, peering into the dark foliage and thick canopy. One of them gulped, steadying himself. A few of them looked ready to bolt. The mountain was high and scary, but it was up to them to protect Princess Luna, so they had to be there.
“Lions and, tigers and… bears!” said a few of them as they wandered down the path towards who knew what. “Lions and tigers and bears!” they chanted together, but it only seemed to increase their fear of the place. “Lions’n’tigers’n’bears!” They walked faster and faster, as though the creatures were on their heels right then. Sweat was going down the sides of their faces. “Lions’n’tigers’n’bears! LIONS’N’TIGERS’N’BEARS! LIONS’N’TIGERS’N’BEARS! LIONS’N’TIGERS’N’BEARS!” Suddenly they ran into a big shadow on the road and they cried out as a group, hugging each other in a big shaking herd of terrified stallions.
Twilight Sparkle emerged from the mist, holding a lantern and bearing camping saddlebags. “Oh no, it’s you guys again.” She said flatly, sighing and turning her ears back at them.
“Twilight Sparkle!” one of them shouted, pointing at her. All of their grey faces lit up and they crowded around her for nuzzles like children.
“Wha-hey! Hey stop that!” Twilight was mooshed into the middle of the big group, so happy to see her! She blushed and squirmed about. “Keep your hooves off me!” she was lifted bodily and TOSSED into the air by the happy group that was completely ignoring her protests.
“H’oh!” they shouted as a group, tossing her. They were ELATED to see her, so very happy! “H’ohh!” The purple unicorn cursed and flailed about as she went up and down. “H’OHHH!” Then they finally let her go, smiling with their big sharp teeth and golden eyes. What a greeting!
“You ponies are crazy!” Twilight shouted, staggering away as quickly as she could. They followed her with their strange golden eyes. She continued up the path to get away from them, walking in zigzags and trying to get her sense of balance back. “Crazy!” she shouted again as she gained some distance at a gallop. Wh… what? Crazy? They wilted at her like kicked puppies. But— but they liked Twilight Sparkle! She made the Princess happy, did she not like them at all? They looked at each other with big soft eyes, forlorn. One of them whimpered aloud.
“Ch-chin up, boys.” said Captain Stalwart Hide. “We’ve still got a job to do, and that’s to secure the perimeter.” He snuffled a little, trying to assure his comrades. They nodded slowly, trying to cheer up after Twilight Sparkle had disowned them so openly. How mean!
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Nightmare Moon lay in wait, deep in the cavernous dark of the former dragon’s lair. She had a meager little fire, some blankets, a small litter to stretch out on, and a few other odds and ends. The black goddess currently had her muzzle pressed into a thin book full of camping activities. If she was to seduce Twilight Sparkle correctly, she would need a proper chain of events to lead up to said seduction. It wasn’t as though she could just pounce on the beautiful creature and have her way. Well, she could, but Celestia would never let her hear the end of it. After that whole ‘nighttime eternal’ thing, she’d been very uptight.
“Hrm,” Nightmare Moon mumbled, turning through the snack sections. “Graham cracker… then chocolate…” she was very serious-face about the entire thing, for Twilight Sparkle was a prize to be had. Nothing would deter her. “And marshmallow…?” she flicked her gaze up at the stick-mounted treat leaning over the fire, and flinched. It was jet black and burning. “Blast you, mushy confection!” she zapped it with her horn angrily, reducing it to dust. She eyeballed the graham cracker and chocolate a little, eyes narrowing in amusement. Twilight Sparkle could be her marshmallow any night. She chuckled at the thought, snapping the treat up greedily and trying again. “Graham cracker, then marshmallow, perhaps a…” she trailed off, for she heard hooves coming up the path and towards the cave entrance. Hissing angrily, she snuffed the fire with a flick of magic and pressed herself into shadow.
“Stupid Lunar Stallions and their stupid… stupid… faces!” Twilight spat, grumping back and forth. “Princess! Princess are you here?! Your stallions assaulted me again!” she shouted angrily into the cave. “I’m going to get a restraining order, signed by you! I won’t be tossed around like a beach ball! They just keep grabbing me up!”
Nightmare Moon panicked briefly. She put on Luna’s voice. “Oh erhm… come in, Twilight Sparkle!” she said aloud, coughing a bit. “It is very cozy in here!”
“It’s dark!” Twilight called, lighting her horn and coming in. Instantly Nightmare Moon was exposed. Horsefeathers. She hadn’t thought of that. Of course Twilight had a light spell. The dark goddess stared at the mare, and the mare stared back. There was a pregnant silence, and the cave dripped water from the ceiling a few times. The purple mare’s mouth slowly gaped open. Nightmare Moon. It didn’t compute. She wasn’t possible. She just wasn’t possible. “P-princess?” she ventured slowly.
Still using Luna’s voice, Nightmare Moon mewled at her a little forwardly, “Come and join us by the fire, Twilight?” she flicked the fire pit with alicorn magic and it burst into flames, startling Twilight back a bit. “Oops.” She murmured. Twilight turned to bolt, screaming like a madmare and igniting her horn to teleport. “No no, none of that!” The dark goddess stood with authority, lighting her own horn with black magic. The purple mare vanished with a crack of parted air, desperate to be anywhere but in the cave with her. The alicorn’s magic grasped her with a raven’s black hand, a midnight shadow of pure darkness. Twilight Sparkle was ripped out of the space between spaces and plopped onto the stone floor in front of Nightmare Moon’s litter.
Twilight gasped, holding her head and falling over with vertigo. She’d meant to go forward and away, but had been wrenched backward with all the force of a GODDESS. “Urlghhh…” was all the poor thing could say, her eyes swirling about while little stars and birds danced in her vision. Moaning a little, she fell on her side with a bump.
Nightmare Moon winced. That could’ve gone better. “Hrmph. Ah well.” She snorted. “We still have the upper hoof.” She gathered the limp Twilight Sparkle to herself with magic, then rather casually just laid on her. The purple mare was splayed out on her back, a distressed expression on her face. She was only partially conscious, the recoil of magic jump-starting her brain into a back-up-restart-retry system. It would take her a few minutes to gain her senses. Nightmare Moon smirked a bit, eyeing the beautiful mare up close for a long time. The fire crackled, playing across her beautiful features. “Such a beautiful thing…” Nightmare whispered, leaning down to inspect her closely. The streaked mane, the round curves of her face, so beautiful. Laying out over Twilight, she fought the very real urge to simply have her way. She ached to have Twilight, right then. Her black wings opened slowly while she entertained dark thoughts. “Hrmphhh…” she thought, then turned the limp mare over and laid on her once more. Shrugging a bit, she instead decided to pet her. Just a little.
Twilight moaned a little, tilting her head when she felt a soft muzzle in her mane and along her neck. It was large and very firm, seeking the softer spots of her neck. She jittered a little, then let out a breathy sigh when a sweet spot was found at the base of her mane and neck. She felt little sharp teeth nibbling on her. Twilight squirmed a little, fading in and out of consciousness. “Mhh-h-h…” she moaned like she was being massaged, shifting slightly and feeling the great warm weight on her back. Was… was that a stallion on her?! Her eyes suddenly snapped open and she gave an icy-hot shriek of feminine distress. “Don’t rape me!” she cried out in a panic, thrashing about.
“Twilight, We would not violate thee!” Nightmare Moon snorted, laying on her with all her body weight. “Much.” She snickered, tossing her head a bit at her horn joke. Twilight looked over her shoulder at the dark goddess, her irises shrinking into pinpricks.
“Nightmare Moon!” Twilight said accusingly. “Where did you come from?! Get off of me!” the purple mare squirmed, but the sheer weight of the body atop her was too much to let her get away.
“Neigh.” said Nightmare Moon. “We like you right where you are, ‘neath us.” she snickered a little, nuzzling Twilight’s mane rather openly.
Twilight shuddered, aghast. “I’m dreaming! I must be dreaming! Nightmare Moon was destroyed by the Elements of Harmony!” she was trying to make it all make sense. “This must be a guilt dream! Something! H’oh Celestia!” she whimpered under Nightmare Moon, praying to her mentor, gritting her teeth and trying to get free.
“I am not destroyed any more than Luna was. We are one and the same.” Nightmare Moon was rather flirtaciously chewing on one of Twilight’s plush ears by then, trying to get the point across for her intentions.
“No! Get off me!” The purple mare shrieked. “You’re evil! Don’t touch me!”
Nightmare Moon paused in her attentions, sighing in a frustrated way. Why, a thousand years ago a mare or stallion would’ve given a leg to be the subject of her affections. But Twilight Sparkle? Neigh. “But, we like thou. Both of us. Whether both halves admit it or not.” She smiled, leaning and grabbing a half-finished smore with her magic. She took a bite, chewing animatedly. “Come Twilight.” She whispered sensually in the mare’s ear. “Come be our marshmallow mare.” She kissed her behind the ear, offering the smore to Twilight. She didn’t take it, but the goddess left it in front of her in case she changed her mind.
“What do you want?” Twilight said uncomfortably, craning her neck to look back at her. She was trying to form a plan, trying very hard. But it was hard to think with the goddess of the night’s darker half breathing down her neck and… chewing on her. “What do you want?” she asked again, ears turned to a defensive sideways position.
“We want thou.” Nightmare Moon leaned and whispered. “Thou art adorable.” She rested her chin atop Twilight’s head, smiling with affection. “Come, and be ours.” She said, trailing a hoof down the side of the unicorn’s flank.
Twilight shrieked as she was flipped over onto her back. Nightmare Moon smiled grandly, all of her fangs out and on display. “B-be yours?!” she said in a meek way, red going across her cheek. “I don’t even know you! You tried to bring about nighttime eternal!” Already Twilight had taken into account the multiple persona’s sharing the one body. Such a smart, bright little star she was. Just like any star in Nightmare Moon’s sky. She adored the purple mare all the more.
“My name is Nightmare Moon.” The black pony giggled, reintroducing herself playfully. “And thou art the most luscious thing we’ve laid eyes on in a thousand years.” She said, rubbing her nose on Twilight’s plush and soft belly. The purple mare jittered, blushing furiously.
“S-stop that!” Twilight begged. “I know your face! I don’t know YOU!” she emphasized, tail tucking in an adorable expression of modesty. Red-faced and sweating, the purple mare whimpered pathetically.
Nightmare Moon grinned, leaning down and nuzzling her a bit more. “Thy belly is so sensitive, even Luna knows this…” she purred sensually, dragging her fangs oh-so-gently across the softness. They left little red lines, but didn’t pierce her skin. Such a pure, luscious and beautiful creature. Nightmare Moon could think of no greater prize to grace her bed. Er, litter. Camping had a litter for her. She nibbled on Twilight’s soft belly for a bit, very much enjoying herself until the warm scent of arousal touched her muzzle. The body was a machine, after all. It would respond to stimuli whether it wanted to or not.
Twilight’s shiver went up and down her spine, and she whimpered again. “P-please, no…” Twilight turned her head to one side, eyes softening and a single tear going down the side of her face. “St-stop touching me… p-please…” she whispered, gasping when Nightmare Moon drifted a bit lower to her pelvis. “Luna-!”
The recoil if hearing the name hit Nightmare Moon so hard she gagged on her own spit. Her eyes widened and her back arched like she’d been struck by lightning. Suddenly sparkles of magic began to leave her body. Flecks of blackness left her fur and the armor that made up her outfit began to rust over and quietly drop off of her like glittering snow. “No! Wait! No no no noo----” Nightmare’s protests died in her throat as her glamour spell fell apart like cobwebs in the breeze. The armor reshaped itself into a dainty crown and regalia. The eyes shifted from slitted and draconic to a soothing aqua with wide pupils. Luna lay there, glassy-eyed and expressionless.
Twilight looked up at her, fearful but puzzled. What had just happened? “L-Luna?” she said in a soft whisper. “Are you in there?” she poked the Princess just a little bit, but received no response. Deciding this was the time to escape, she started to wiggle. Luna was very heavy, and being pressed up against her like that made it very hard to get away. “Luna, I’m stuck!” she said. No response. Luna’s mind was still restarting.
“Twiliiiiiiight!” A faded voice on the breeze caught her perked ears. “Twilight where are youuuu!?” the voice was male, straining against the trees and the cave itself.
“I’m here!” Twilight shouted in distress. Instantly the shouting stopped, for the voice’s owner was listening. “I’m in here!” she shouted again. There was a crack of parted air and a spray of blue and gold sparks. Before her was a stallion in purple and gold armor, holding two Lunar Stallions in a head-lock. “Shining Armor!” Twilight flopped down, panting in relief.
Both Lunar Stallion’s oof’d when he struck their heads together and threw them aside. Rushing forward, he rather rudely shoved the comatose princess off of her and gathered his sister into a hug. “You’re okay, you’re okay. I’m here to protect you.” He soothed when his little sibling suddenly decided to burst into sobs. “It’s alright, it’s alright I’m here… big brother’s here…”
“It’s Nightmare Moon!” Twilight cried, her voice breaking raggedly. “She’s back! And she was… she was TOUCHING me-hee-heeeee!” she blubbered into her big brother’s chest, clinging to him.
Shining Armor frowned worriedly, looking over when he saw movement. Princess Luna was slowly gathering herself, rubbing her eyes and achingly stretching her wings. Wow, what smelled like lust and chocolate around here? She blink-blinked a little, peering blearily about. What had happened? Where was she? She saw a white stallion glaring at her furiously, two Lunar Stallions splayed out across the ground, and a very upset Twilight Sparkle. She was shaking like a leaf, crying loudly into her brother’s breast. Luna rose to all fours right away, mouth agape as she came close to investi—CRACK! A gilded hoof went across her face so-hard-so-suddenly she almost peed a little. “You ought’a be ashamed of yourself!” Shining Armor hissed through lidded eyes.
The alicorn had never, ever been simply struck in the face like that. The pain was alien, and sent waves of ice through her cheeks. “What?” Luna said, holding her face. “How DARE thou strikest a roy-!” CRACK! His hoof went across her face again and she yelped.
“How dare YOU take advantage of my sister!” Shining Armor shouted. “Princess or NOT!” in one arm he held his bawling sister, and defended her with the other from a goddess. Luna’s brow rose in complete confusion and horror. She looked down at Twilight Sparkle, who was shaking so hard it was visible. “She’s not your plaything!” the armored captain of the royal guard shouted. He leaned down, putting his muzzle under Twilight’s undercarriage and putting her on his back. She clung to him like a baby koala, sniffling as tears dripped down her face. She wouldn’t even look at Luna, keeping her head turned away.
“W… what?!” Luna said. “We did no such thing! We would not molest Twilight Sparkle! She is our best friend!” she started to step forward, but Shining Armor was walking backward out of the cave and away from her. His face was set in a deep, shivering scowl of clenching teeth. “Come back!” Luna said, reaching with a hoof. He backed up faster, going out of the tunnel with his back arched to support his sister.
Shining Armor turned to flee on hoof, but ran into trouble right away. Lunar Stallions. Twenty-two of them, armored up and scowling and snarling like dogs. Their golden eyes glittered in the moonlight, their jowls rising to reveal rows and rows of piranha-like teeth. “That mare is Princess Luna’s.” Captain Stalwart Hide stepped forward. “Put her down, shiny boy.” He gestured to the golden and purple armor he wore. It was no secret that the Lunar Stallions and the Solar Guard did not get along.
“My sister doesn’t belong to anypony.” Shining Armor lit his horn, and encased Stalwart Hide in a sphere of purple magic.
The stallion gave a shout , beating his hooves on the sides of the bubble. The other Lunar Stallions looked on in horror when he started to roll away as though he were in a hamster ball. “The Captain!” one of the stallions shouted, pointing. The entire herd of Lunar Stallions turned, chasing after the entrapped pony like a herd of puppies chasing a giant pink ball. Shining Armor shook his head, thankful they were so easy to get off track.
“Hold onto me, Twiley.” Shining Armor said, igniting his horn once more. “We’re going straight home, to Princess Celestia!” A magic circle appeared on the ground around his hooves. If there was one thing Shining was very good it, it was enlarging spells. Whether that be a shielding spell, or a teleportation spell. He could simply maximize simple things to their greatest and most incredible potential. Right now, that meant teleporting from the high mountain all the way to the royal palace-- CRACK went the vacuum of air, and they were gone.
End of Part 5
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DON'T HURT LUUUUUUNNNNNNAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Arrrggg..i'm having flashbacks of that one spartan fic. I actually stopped reading due to my extreme desire to painfully slaughter the main character after he attacked Luna.
Now that I've calmed down I can say...Good Job! Can't wait for more!
I want you to know I do a tiny Yes! Dance every time you update
Image: http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120514174826/mlp/images/7/79/FANMADE_Twilight_Sparkle_filly_dancing.gif
Image: http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee319/DeathOfBlades/Dis-Gon-B-Gud.gif
If there was one thing Shining was very good it, it was enlarging spells.
Image: http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/forum/resources/george-takei-oh-my/4439
Lions and tigers and bears! Oh my!
I loved the Wizard of Oz reference!
The Lunar Stallions are just so adorably puppy-like; a nice juxtaposition with respect to their scary appearance. I keep feeling sorry for them when their well meaning plans fail. They sure get an A for effort and enthusiasm. I'm curious as to your opinion on the origin of the Lunar Stallions; are they another species of pony, like earth ponies, pegesi, and unicorns? Or are they some kind of magically transformed version of the three regular pony species? Maybe you have touched on this issue in your other stories; if so which one? This is the first story of your that i am following and i am hoping to read the others eventually soon. I know different writers have taken different approaches to answering these questions; I'm just curious on your take on them. They must have been pretty bored when Midmare Moon was banished to the moon for a thousand years.
Out of all the possible cliffhangers, this is... The! Most! Frustrating! One! 
Kudos, you had me screaming "Noooooooooooooo" once I got to the end. Can't wait to see what happens next!
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Soarin_dayum.png
This story makes me lol so hard.
Poor Luna she wakes up after being taken over by a alternate personality and gets smacked in the face by Shining Armor. That's just a bad day.
This is party Celestia's fault, she saw NMM and still let Luna take Twilight on a camping trip.
Anyway it was a great chapter and Im looking forward to more!
EXCELLENT! It was great seeing Shining Armor protecting his little sister against a GODDESS!!! HE IS A BOSS!!!
Poor Luna, she will accept getting help now that she hurt her best and only friend.
The Lunar Stallions are the most absolutely silly army I have ever seen, they make the Asterix's Romans seem like capable proffesionals!!
12 out of 10 
I hate it when stories suddenly go dark. 
What follows is going to be an irate rant. It is a raw outburst of what I did not like about the story. For the sake of fairness, I like ho the Lunar guards are childish and the jokes up Twilight being a marshmallow.
It was fine, cute even, up until the point about molestation. It ventured into very uncomfortable territory with Twilight being essentially molested. 
I'm sorry, but mental damage like that is not funny. It is not amusing, it is horrible, plain and simple.
Especially at how Twilight suddenly could not teleport away or use her magic to any extent. No, only a MAN, pardon, STALLION can do that now, eh? 
After all, one of the most known-by-canon to be most powerful, resourceful unicorns in the canon is UTTERLY helpless, isn't she? Nor can we have Twilight suddenly teleporting out when she feels threatened and stressed, like she did in Ticket Master, now can we, because then we couldn't have Shining Armor come out to the rescue out of the blue and not have a disturbing molestation section. The plot would have worked out that way too.
Shining armor's sudden appearance was not foreshadowed. Twilight is inexplicably helpless. The story got a "dark" tag right out of the blue.
The reason why I am pissed off about this, is that I see no REASON for this to happen, other than chauvinistic logic("Twilight is female" = "Twilight is a victim" = "Nightmare moon is a sexual predator that just wants a piece of her" + "Twilight is a non-dominating female" = "Nightmare Moon will rape Twilight" = "Twilight must be rescued by a male"). Nightmare Moon has previously resisted the urge to actively violate Twilight, outright stating it to herself that "Twilight would not consent". So, either the author has utterly no idea what he (she? which is actually a more disturbing thought) is doing and just went down this road out of sheer cluelesness, or he thought: "hey, you know what this, so far very cute story needs? MOLESTATION!"
I was afraid of this the moment I noted that this is the same author that made a ponified spartan. Anyone who thinks that spartans of all things should be cast in good light, even by proxy, has clearly no idea what the fuck they are talking about (hint: spartans were so militant because they were the largest slaveholders among the ancient greek city states, their violence does not come from some strong tradition of militarism or machoism or other bullshit but a need to constantly brutalize, maim and regularly kill other human beings so their spirits would brake and could more easily be treated as property).
Some are going to say that "I should take a chill pill" but the author knows that his decision to turn the story dark is not going to be liked by everybody. And I'm one of those people from that "I don't like it" group.
Do you have any other answer than a stock response? I read it up to this point and I am reacting to how that happened. Rest assured, I do not plan on reading any future updates to this story or anything else posted by the author if I can avoid it.
But that does not nullify my points raised in criticism and I call bullshit on just how this "could have been seen coming". The story DID NOT have a DARK tag before this chapter update and if anything, hinted at the OPPOSITE of Nightmare Moon openly deciding to molest Twilight. Remember chapter 2?
"Fangs were tempted, ohhh so tempted to taste her. Just a little taste. She was so cute, why not a little taste? No no, she was asleep and couldn’t consent to such things."
/\
II
See that? Someone even commented on how it is a good thing that Nightmare Moon cares about the consent of Twilight.
Three chapters later, her character suddenly does a face-heel turn for no reason. Twilight has been helpless and at Nightmare Moon's mercy before. What this chapter has, is the exact opposite of this. This was not foreshadowed, hinted at or implied in any form. In fact, the opposite clearly was.
If you do not agree with my criticisms, fine. That's your business, I understand I cannot make you care for it and I realize you have every right to completely ignore it. But please, don't take me for an imbecile and use broken logic to fortify your dismissal.
and at the end of chapter 5 
>>1065803 I oughta slap you for making that joke. Slap you so hard it'd make your mother's head spin.
As for this story? Well hell, it's...THIS STORY. It's just good; the silly Lunar Guard, Nightmare Moon really not having any consideration for Twilight's own privacy, poor Luna taking the punishment for her other side's actions.
Question is; where the fuck did Armor come from?!
I'm wondering the same thing, actually. Is this a-
Deus Ex Machina? That only relates to endings. I think we call this a 'magic plot device'.
Ahhhh. Makes sense.
His appearance may as well have been magic. That, or I've got a tracking device stuck on my flank...
*Both Steel and Twilight check her flank for any kind of tracking device.*
Erm...sigil or machine?
Sigil. And don't stare...
Righto. Nnnno sigils.
*Steel goes back to his computer.*
Right then...
Yep, Magic Plot Device of a brother.
People complained about how you never talked about him during your time in Ponyville though.
I never thought it'd be important!
Well c'mon, he's an important figure, isn't he? I'd be bragging about him like Dash brags about her ability to do the Sonic Rainboom.
Hey!
Oh come on, I know you hold that ability on the highest damn pedastal you own.
Yes, he's important. It's just if I started talking about him, wouldn't the rumors start spreading? The Element of Magic and the Royal Guard Captain? The wrong ponies would start drawing the wrong conclusions, probably thinking Shiney got the position through me having connections with the Princess.
...Valid point.
Also very valid. I don't mind the molestation bit; the funnies are provided by the Lunar Guard and their interactions with Luna and Twilight, after all. What I don't particularily like is the fact that Shining Armor came right out of the Devil's asshole in this chapter.
Yes, Twilight is fully capable of saving herself, but she is also fighting against Nightmare Moon, in a cave, with nothing but basic camping supplies lying around. What's she going to do, jam marshmallows in Moon's eyes? Though she certainly wouldn't've let it HAPPEN, she couldn't do much to begin with.
Twilight could've held herself up with Luna though, and run away on her own. Not only that, but Luna was out cold; why didn't she just teleport a short distance and try to wake her up?
Was her horn blocked? She's not only an unicorn, but a magically very gifted one. This is the unicorn that blasted a whole gang of changelings away. She could have tried to levitate Nightmare Moon (even if NM broke the hold, she would have gotten a clear message), make a forcefield separating her from NM, even attack NM (can Twilight even really do real damage to NM?) or even do an emergency teleport. She has done it before when she felt threatened.
Why can Shining teleport all the way to Canterlot, but Twilight can't teleport away a few meters away? If Princess Celestia told Shining to look out for Twilight and then Shining heard that Luna planned a night's moongazing and assumed the worst, why/how did Shining go to Celestia who is far more powerful than Shining and a match for Luna?
I am probably coming off far more irate than I wish and I feel a bit guilty about that. It's just that I believe I caught a glimpse of the author's mind and find it repulsive.
At least that story makes it clear what to expect from the very first chapter, from the story description, tags, image and a very clear "adult content" warning.
So whilst this story has gone from darkly funny to dark but funny I still really enjoyed it. This little omake did come to me whilst reading
“What?” Luna said, holding her face. “How DARE thou strikest a roy-!”
"Oh yes," murmured Cadence from where she was tied to the couple's bed "he really dares"
Whilst I think that your comments and concerns are valid and well put I submit an alternative reading. In this chapter Twilight is awake and therefore capable of listening to argument. NM is working on the assumption that No doesn't mean No, its just that Twilight doesn't know what she is saying. I have heard in my life all too many similar justifications by men (in particular) who would see no flaw in NM's reasoning.
As for the damsel in distress point, whilst entirely valid, should be laid against the fact that Twilight had already won - Nightmare Moon had been sent back into the realms of Luna's psyche, and Twilight at that point needs emotional rescue, rather than physical rescue. The rest of the mane six and Celestia showing up would have had much the same affect, but it is the fact that Shiny is her brother that is the vital point and the only thing for which his masculinity is a determinant - if F!Shining had shown up twilight would have clung to her sister in the same way.
Also, calling you on the Ad Hominem about the spartan stallion. Its not good form and will lead to your arguments having less weight (although I agree entirely with your points about the Spartans. They were total Sh*ts and modern societies obsession with airbrushing them, e.g. Halo, 300 is just a little depressing)
I kind of agree with you in regards to the molestation stuff.
I mean I can understand why Twi couldnt get away without it being a case of "girls are weak".
Nightmare was actively stopping her from leaving and she can easily overpower Twi in the magic department both in terms of strength and experience.
However once Twi screamed "Luna" and Shining smacked her in the face it broke Nightmares control over Luna, releasing her hold on Twi and allowing Shining the opportunity to escape.
At that point Twi could have escaped without help, though it's obvious at that point she was far to distraught by the situation to be thinking clearly.
I think that's what I actually dont like, the fact that it was leading towards the molestation.
I was hoping it was going to stay along the lines of Nightmare wanting Twi but not overstepping that line.
A little bit of toeing towards the line would have been fine, like the neck nibbling, but not in a situation where Twi is so powerless, which would obviously be really traumatic for her.
It's not going to stop me from reading, because I want to see how this whole thing with Nightmare gets resolved, and one small part out of 5 chapters doesnt negate the rest of the stuff I've loved.
It's obvious Luna has deep feelings for Twi, and hopefully she can deal with these feelings in a manner that doesnt involve Twi-rape.
Buuut that's up to the writer lol
At the end of the day I'll either be really happy, or disappointed *shrugs*
I can see how that alternative reading would form and your argument does make some sense.
It's just that rape/molestation (the line between the two can be blurred) isn't just dark: it's a very real, very hurtful part of human experience.
I would like to point out that there are a few counter-arguments to the idea of NM not taking "no" for "no": she's a centuries, millenas even, old mare so she should know better; in a situation where "no" really doesn't mean "no" there are other signs of the partner being actually willing (tonality of voice, physical gestures, not actually resisting, face showing happiness/pleasure, partner is smiling, etc), signs that an adult person does notice; the logic of "I thought that by no she meant yes" I believe is an excuse of people who either don't care or ignore whether consent was given; finally, it was ridiculous to assume in the situation that consent was given (NM has seen Twilight's reactions from her arrival).
Arguments against these, I can imagine two: NM is insane/unhinged and therefore not capable of acting/behaving rationally or reasonably (I am unsure how weak this line of reasoning would be, as it would require a more throughout analysis of how NM has been established so far); and the other being that this is a massive misunderstanding, with NM thinking that Luna has already taken Twilight as a lover (the problem with this one, is that it has been noted that NM can access Luna's memories, or they have "collective memories"). I can also think of the explenation that NM thought that Twilight was just playing "hard to get", but that falls flat on its face in Twilight's reaction to NM.
You do have a point about my Ad Hominem attack, and I am ashamed of that and I was speaking out of anger rather than reason at that point. It is merely I made an assumption based the story summary around Spartan Shield (for the reason I mentioned: I am suspicous of anyone who thinks the word "spartan" is awesome, except perhaps diehard minimalists) and started leaping to assumptions.
I'm pretty sure Twilight's temporary helplessness is justifiable when she's ripped out of sub-space by a goddess. Shining's teleportation abilites have nothing to do with him being male, and everything with Luna being confused and not actively trying to stop them. I'll admit it is a pretty jarring jump into dark fic land.
>>1066947 Yeah, chap5 was the height of the "dark", but it was necessary to put in since, well, molestation is about the deepest dark you can really go to. I didn't want people to wig out and go "hey, this is a comedy, wth!?" It was only proper to warn them about this one scene.
Well, I saw it coming too; to me it makes sense that Twilight can't escape, for various following reasons. A) Magic is brain controlled, under stress it might be an instictual response but under sexual confusion like this, it may be nigh on impossible; Instictually, retreat may not be the subconcious' goal. B) it is Nightmare we're talking about, lets just assume there was some damping field.
Al that said, most fanon goes that teleporting from past Ponyville to Canterlot is plausible obly for the Princesses and maybe Twi - she tends to have a knack for that in particular - so Shining doing it is a little implausible, but this fic has not yet set...limits on that sort of difficulty.
As for forshadowing, I'm a lazy pony so I won't go find the quotes but Nightmare wanting Twiliggt seems to me to be getting worse over time, 'specially at the session with Psyche, and I wondered then if dark tag was a-incoming.
If merit has been seen in these points,
If you still think our points are worthless, 
A thought popped into my head that while I agree with you about rape/molestation not being truly a laughing matter, you seem to have jumped to straight to the conclusion that that was what NMM was doing. Yes she was trying to incite arousal in Twilight, but you also have to look at the fact that this character is at least a couple thousand years old. Just like Luna was not extremely familiar with modern language conventions, it can more than likely be said that both Luna and NMM are not really on the up and up on romantic niceties. We can see that by NMM saying that prebanishment anyone would have loved to be receiving such attention from her. Taking that into account, plus NMM trying to hide from Twilight would indicate to me that these actions are more likely her pickup lines, horrible though they may be.
I will not deny the fact that NMM comes off as wanting to do that, but I will point out that nowhere in the story, that I can remember at this time, before this was it said that NMM wouldn't do that. The part that refer to early about her fangs and her desire to bite Twilight was more about marking her territory and the fact that Twilight probably wouldn't like that. Make of that what you will. Me, I'm going to keep reading this as this story has gone from a simple one-shot to a romance story to now a romance story with some mental screwing. Sometimes stories start off as innocent and nice and it's only as you go through do they start to show what they really are. Best example that I can think of to fit that off the top of my head would be the His Dark Materials trilogy, The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass, and there was never a movie made of the first one.
>>1066411 If you read it properly, you would see that she DID try to teleport away but NMM basically pulled her mid teleport. It disoriented her and said it caused her to lose her full senses for a few minutes. I do have to agree with your point on Shining showing up though. He was supposed to protect her but im not sure how hw found her.
Re; Killer Steel
"Where did Shining Armor come from?"
Well, when a mare loves a stallion... no, wait.. actually it was mentioned in a previous chapter that Shiny would be sent as a guard/chaperone to the camp-out. Since he had two of the Lunar guards in a head lock, he definitely had a run-in delaying his expected arrival.
For everypony else, I dont think it a stretch that Twilight would be rendered helpless by a GODDESS hijacking her teleport. Not to mention look how well she did alone against NMM in FIM episode 2 (Not very well actually)...
I would think such a magical yank during a teleport would be like bungee jumping and having someone grab you in mid-jump and pull you back on the platform by the privates...
Okay, I have to say something. There's being earnest. 
There's being immature. 
There's even being misguided and eager to please.
Then there's being moronic, socially inept, blithering man-children. 
Guess which one the Night Guard is.
Seriously, how did they get that position? Aren't soldiers required to take some kind of mental-wellness test before being allowed to enlist? 
Image: http://oi50.tinypic.com/2s9tavo.jpg
>>1065703 Nightmare's been out of circulation for a thousand years. Best way is to just jump right back in.
Right.
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png>>1065839 Old doesn't mean stodgy or uninformed. Things - interesting things happened behind closed doors during the medieval period.
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.pngI'm sure Celestia knows a lot about Equestria's Rome analog; she's old enough. Heh.
>>1066291 You have no idea where the story's going. If you'll stop making unfounded assumptions, we'll all be happier. And please save your pet peeves for somewhere else.
I won't have to sit here and page through the flame war, and they others will STFU.
Verily, dosta perfection weigh upon thee SO heavily?
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
You say this is the last of the Dark? Good. I hate dark fics. Then again, when I think dark, I think brutal death and the whatnot. As a result, this may not have seemed dark to me when it most likely is.
Also, aesthetically, the stark redness of the dark tag isn't too appealing.
A few things that I hope you've realized by now:
*The point wasn't that she wasn't saved by a MALE - it was that she was saved by her sibling, who just so happened to be her brother (something that always usually happens to be male).
*Luna/Nightmare Moon is much more powerful than Twilight without her friends. She could easily hold Twilight back if she wanted to, which she did.
*From what I know, mythological immortals are prone to raping/molesting mortals.
Actually, no. The most likely creature the author is referencing is an undead pony that dwells in the forest, and on certain nights trap any unfortunate traveller within for so to murder them and have them join them as blanks as well. And continue to rip ponies to shreds.(Yes, I am talking to you, Super Filly Adventure! Why would you make an innocent game with a freaking horror extra ending?)
“And bears.” Nodded Captain Shield seriously. “Now line up, you lot, it’s up to us to patrol the road and make sure that there’s not anypony coming that not ought to be.”
All my years of playing FFT and FFTWOL tell me that that should be ought not to be, not not ought to be. I might not be right, but that's my opinion.
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