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A botched viewing spell has sent Twilight Sparkle to Earth and into the care of Kyle West. Having been turned into a human, the local species, Twilight Sparkle relies on her host to help her as she finds a way back to Equestria. And, in the meantime, she decides to learn about humans and the world they live in; the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.
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For a sec there, I thought it said Kanye West
Before anyone begins with the PonyFall comparisons - we're having a hard enough time getting Twilight's story out, so I'm okay with this.
Anyway, a short critique:
You misspelled prologue in the chapter title, and there seems to be some weird formatting in some places as well. Mostly double (and even triple) spaces. Also, there's no need to capitalize the word 'she' after dialogue.
For example:
“You...you'll help?” She said, blinking back at him.
should be this:
“You... you'll help?” she asked, blinking back at him.
Other than those little issues, there's potential there. Yes, it looks very, very similar to PonyFall - but please, do continue.
lol interesting
I like it! Yet it felt slightly rushed.
I adore the idea, and I love the fact that she immediately accepted life on Earth rather quickly.
I see good things in the future! GOOD THINGS!
PLEASE DO MORE! i really likethis story!
and plus you have my fav pony twilight!
do want
i wonder how she'll react to planes, trains and automobiles.
tracking.
DAT COVER IMAGE.
sauce plz?
1002811
I've never read Ponyfall before, so I wouldn't know how close the two stories are.
1003146
http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/190/d/a/fan_twilight_sparkle_by_mauroz-d56n0o5.png
MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT
MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT
I CANT WAIT TILL SHE LEARNS ABOUT EATING MEAT
GOOD STORY
Sorry if my English sounds osco but I am using the google translator.
Greetings from Peru.
It seems that little twilight
has gotten into another adventure, and seems to have taken body XD, but seriously uhmmm, we see that the guy is cool and not do anything that bad ... for now (reminds me of a hentai I read and no, not the kind that only happens that-_-), in the end I think that should increase a little story that may seem quiet seen must think I should go home, so should be great to lose control a bit with respect to research, to show you the internet (and if we know well, do not stop until I see it all), a solution to the amusement park, zoo, water world and the things you have in the U.S., also the consequences of the internet when entering some pages
, uhmmm the latest would be the procreation of new life, that lead to .... 0 / / / 0 
(out of my head thoughts corrupt >. <), Eeeeeeeeeeen so good fic and I will be in expectation of the next issue
spanish
Disculpa si mi ingles suena osco pero estoy usando el google traductor.
se ha metido en otra aventura, y parece que ha sacado cuerpo XD, pero en serio uhmmm, se ve que el chico es buena onda que así no hará nada malo… por ahora (me recuerda a un hentai que leí, y no, no son de esos que solo pasa eso -_- ), en fin creo que debería aumentar un poco el trama visto que aunque parezca tranquila debe pensar que debe regresar a casa, que así seria genial debería perder el control un poco, respecto a la investigación, que le muestre el internet (y si la conocemos bien, no parara hasta que lo vea todo), una salida al parque de diversiones, zoológico, mundo acuático y las cosas que tengan en EE.UU., también las consecuencias del internet al entrar en algunas páginas, uhmmm lo ultimo seria la procreación de una nueva vida, eso llevaría a…. 0///0
(sal de mi cabeza pensamientos corruptos >.<), eeeeeeeeeeen fin buen fic y estaré en expectativa del siguiente numero
Saludos desde Perú
Parece que la pequeña twilight
1004625
Yes, she will learn about that. Already on my list of things for her to talk about.
Have Twilight discover strategy games and a bunch of puzzle games both physical and video game. Also how about discovering origami and sculpture carving and stuff. To know the full extent of hands.
Awesome story btw.
Oh and maybe have Twilight learn to augment some technologies of humanity to work with magic in some way and maybe solve some technical problems that are present to the world. Like solar energy or wind turbines or something.
And I'm also guessing this is in America.
Shame.
ok i have read the types of fics before but i like them anyways but i'll go ahead and say it the dam cover image brought me here i admit it
i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz30/nerd_by_proxy/Moar.jpg What the kid says.
Lots of potential here.
Glad you didn't make Kyle some neck beard or a straight out hunk of a man. Slightly above average is a good choice.
Can't wait to read more.
Favorited.
nice description on the body! who did you use as reference?
great story so far, when can i expect moar? daily? weekly? monthly? yearly? never? whenever a chapter is done?
Great change of pace
also......
meat meat meat meat meat meat meat meat meat meat meat meat meat meat meat lol
when should we be expecting the next chapter?
you decided to pull off a pie? O.o
and also...fuck you picture..
nice story btw
Very good the picture you painted with your words is very detailed keep up the fantastic work
1007661
.... Meeep
you never answered me
i feel unloved
This has potential.
I SHALL THE WATCHINGS.
1020413
...Ummm... **Offers a hug**
IF twilight heard of wikipedia she would never be heard of again.
1021596 shiff...shiff....
thanks
I like the progression.
But, as always, I'm left waiting for the next chapter.
But it's OK, I'm a world champ at the waiting game.
Im enjoying this o:. Please continue :3.
Having turned in a PiE story of my own at about the same time - great galloping Celestia, you don't think this is a trend, do you? - I must note the following:
(1) You've left yourself a lot more room to work than I did, which probably was a wise move. (I wrote mine as narrowly as I could, because I have a tendency to wander off on irrelevant tangents, and the reader's attention is drawn away from the main storyline and away from the story altogether and into places I really wouldn't want them getting into because they might get hurt or get embarrassed or start channeling Pinkie Pie or something.)
(2) I did my story in what might have been a suboptimal manner: I wrote the ending first, than the opening, and then had to figure out how to get from Point A to Point B. This is, again, good for me, probably not so good for anypony else. (I have not posted the ending yet.)
(3) I do like the idea of Twilight continuing to report to the Princess. (Which I did also use, albeit differently).
I wish you well with this tale. It's a tough crowd out there.
Make her learn about world war history and have her watch STARWARS.
another great chapter,
. but yes it needs to be longer though lol
greatly enjoyed these chapters cant wait
1032009
Wars was on the list already. STAR WARS wasn't.
Until nao.
Strategy games both video and board and maybe just riddles among other things. And how's about having her discover the "Space Elevator" concept and various other futuristic living concepts online and stuff. That'd be awesome IMO.
Also how's about her play the "Portal" games? Those are fun and I've replayed both the first and second one many times with different settings and such. They are awesome.
Also you're story is awesome as well.
1032318
Let's say I have a vague idea of video games and Koreans. I shall say no more.
First thing: YAY IT'S CANADA!
Second thing: Please let her at least TRY meat!
Third thing: If she likes PETA I'll be one saaaad panda.
Last thing: She. Needs. To. Learn. About. PLANES! God I love planes! I'm scared of them but I REALLY want to try riding in one! She'll have a nerdgasm about every little detail about planes and anything closely related to them.
1032392
I'll claim nothing. But meat will be dealt with eventually.
she might like animal farm, that book makes a metaphor of the soviet unions rise and fall like animals on a farm, im sure she would like it.
1032388
Up up down down left right left right B A start
*boom*
I was expecting twilight to strap herself to the chair and read wikipedia forever.
you know i have always been that weird kid that beleaves in both evolution and the bible I tink evolution is just how god did it. my openion is that all of this had to come from somewhere and the whole big bang theory has to many damn holes in it to be true be evolution not so much . I beleave evolution is the answer to how it was done and god created evolution to insure the survival of his children. but thats just my personal beleaf and I have met quite a few canadian most of them are polite exceot for the french canadians most of those guys are giant a-holes with only a few exceptions.
edit
apparently there is a term for a person like me. I'm apparently a Theistic evolutionist
Is Twi ever going to encounter a brony, or the brony community at large? That could be interesting.
As much as I enjoyed the chapter, it seemed all too short. Still, I enjoyed it, do continue!
1033973
This Earth is one where MLP: FIM doesn't exist.
1034577
Shame. I would've love to see that it did, but the brony fandom just didn't exist. It could have lead to major shenanigans. But then again, it is overused...
1038990
Yeah, pretty much.
lol PETA... I cant wait till she learns that farm animals are raised and slaughtered by the billions to feed us. And we ride horses.
1039325 thats gana SUCK O_O
...make her a carnivore... it would be awesomely ironic
Slight issue with description of humanity when compared to earth ponies. Going by what we see in the show, humans don't really even come close to having a equal level of strengh or stamina to your average earth pony; heck even by unicorn standards we're not that particularly impressive. Also Equestria!Ponies seem to have the same general level of agility that humans do.
Outside of that however, interesting chapter.