My fics are a pleasure. No one's ever told me that, but I read minds. Occasionally.
Ryder has no problems in his life, no worries to such extent that he has to make some up by himself. The lives of others don't concern him.
But the fate of the world... yep. Through Ryder's eyes Equestria grows from a faraway deviation to a close neighbour rapping at his door, ready to devour him.
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Yep.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH_CfkNUC_g#t=02m05s
A great film by the way.
My last name is Ryder, I'll have to read this after work
This story reads as disjointedly and as erratically as the main character lives his life. A murderer in cold blood, a member of the elite who would never know hardship and, quite frankly, who has lost his humanity already and doesn't know it as he goes through the motions to preserve something he doesn't understand.
Grammatically and structurally, it needs a lot of work. For the power and emotion inside it, I applaud you. The end... I'm not sure I understand, either one of them. I know the gist of it - Earth destroyed/changed/moved on and the choice between a hopeless, intentionally doomed race to nowhere (second ending) versus what I can only assume is madness of the main character with yet a slim hope that (technology in hand) something can be made of things.
I don't think that having who I assume is his grandfather appear as an angel actually happen is intended... it doesn't fit the tone and seems entirely unnecessary, and it makes more sense if what the protagonist is escaping is memories, with specific, different memories as cargo.
Powerfully done, not a masterpiece by any stretch, and definitely not a hero - a designated one, perhaps...
1009813
Getting thoughtful comments being a rare treat for me, one can be sure of getting a response. Thanks, that is.
Grammar, structure... I actually read a part of Sing for The Wicked again just to notice that it does better with both than this. I hate making compromises. Sure it makes the narrative more fluid, but it doesn't make me any happier. Though paradoxically it really does that in the end; everyone's happier! But work demands time, which I'm allocating to stupider things.
Yes, "lost his humanity already" tells it more neatly than I imagined myself. The story got off as an Anti-TCB idea that -- when you take a better look -- has the protagonist do and be wrong about everything. The first ending kind of disrupts that, but I put it first since I thought of it first. It's the more ambiguous one. At least Ryder thinks God's on his side... The alternate ending keeps the theme. Who would've guessed that the AI was more human than its master?
I planned to do a third ending. It was much like the second one, but with Ryder guaranteed to make it in some cryosleep or whatever. Didn't write it because it was too similar and, to be honest, too much of a cop-out.