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#1 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Humm sounds interesting  just by looking at the  description it has been inspired by Rosario+vampire

Going to track this

#2 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

OMG I didn't read this shit yet but it smells of AWESOME just by reading the description!  :rainbowkiss:

Here take this little thumb up a favorite and this moustache :moustache:

#3 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

This Dusk is a little bit too much like me..... oh well  I'll bite

thumbs up and fav

#4 · 116w, 5d ago · 3 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

No clop scenes!? well I won't read be reading this then......... just kidding.

Its a pretty awesome story so far well done.

#5 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Not a bad take on the original story. However, the pacing could use a little work: the whole thing feels rather rushed, and there was a reason that the pilot was spread across two episodes rather than being crammed into one.

However, I think the characterisation of Dusk Shine was very well executed - it really captured the differences in the mindset, attitude and very nature of males and females - and I can agree with just about every mare in Equestria...

...Dusk Shine is a total cutie.

#6 · 116w, 5d ago · 5 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

WHY U NO CLOP?

#7 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>>997466

Okay, I've actually got this concept a LOT from these tropes, and I wanted to bring them to western animation.:twilightblush: (minus the animation!)

#8 · 116w, 5d ago · 6 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! A dislike! MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!

#9 · 116w, 5d ago · 7 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

“Stand back, I’m going to tinker with ancient artifacts of untold magical power, and I have no idea what I’m doing.”

This line... I love you man...

#11 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Ok this was hilarious, awaiting more... GENIOUS!

#12 · 116w, 5d ago · 2 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

This is amazing, probably going to get featured. A great concept, and the aside comments add a good deal of humor. It's certainly interesting to throw a male into the mix.  There are some great lines in this. Thank you for either skimming over, or lampshading the hell out of the scenes we've all seen and read a million times overs. I hope you continue this story with a similar writing style.

Pinkie's fourth wall awareness is well written AND humorous , sadly a rare occurrence these days.  Fluttershy seems a little OOC, but everypony else is spot on and hilarious. The stuff that Dash says are among the highlights of this story.

That being said, grammar mistakes up in here. Like a lot. Not at the eye-gouging levels, but its still noticeable. Most often its a word that's been omitted unintentionally, or the wrong word, eg saying 'though' instead of 'through'.  

All in all, a great fic. Keep that pen a'scribblin'.

#13 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

LMFAO. Tracking...and KEEP THOSE CHAPTERS COMIN'! :rainbowdetermined2:

#15 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

....once this is completed I wish to see a clopverson....:fluttercry: if..that is....if you don't mind....that is...:fluttershysad:

....Also this is good.

#16 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

This is just great...Just...Just great. The suspicious amounts of swag line made me fall out of my chair.

#18 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

I find this story to be absolutely genius! The mares constantly fighting over a total cutie, the lines of said male that are completely true of what a guy would probably say, and it's perfect. Especially the lines of making him stay for brunch. Silly slave.

Also, that "Get a life" line is perfect.

#19 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Oh this is going to be good

#20 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Hmm not bad. May want to edit it as it have quite a few typos. Worth tracking.

#21 · 116w, 5d ago · 3 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

He really has no experience with fillies, the sun princess thought. Perhaps I should try the old “Gala tickets” prank that I did with Clover the Clever VII…

oh god the next bit is going to be amazing

This is hilarious, tracked

#22 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Would be funny if NMM tries to seduce him :l

Just saying.

:moustache:

#23 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

:rainbowlaugh:

That was pretty funny, great going and hope the others will be just as fun.

In the end it was all to hook her little sister up with her student. :trollestia:

#24 · 116w, 5d ago · · 1 · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>>997716 Do you want a proof-reader? :pinkiehappy:

#25 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>>997851 I don't know how it works, really.

#26 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>>997875 Easy.  You just ask somebody to proof-read for you, they fix any errors and then you have a clean story. How is another thing entirely.  I've had stuff in a gdoc and then commented on things or manually fixed things.  I've also just messaged the errors in a pm.  Oh we have ways.  

By the way, those first lines in this story are winners.  I knew this was going to be good.  You got your style and intent to the reader for this fic very well.

#27 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Tenchi solution anyone? I mean in nature wild horse herds are generally ruled be one stallion anyway.

#28 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>“Stand back, I’m going to tinker with ancient artifacts of untold magical power, and I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Well, I would assume that DS knew SOMETHING about tinkering with magical artifacts, after all, he spent the past 10 years studying magic.

Also, in Fluttershy's defence, she and RD managed to jump the train 18 months AFTER this incident, giving her adequate time to receive SOME training.


Now all we need is for Apple Bloom to fall in love with DS.... :pinkiehappy:

#29 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

I really want to see where this is going.

#30 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>>997875

I too, offer my services as an editor, just send me a pm if you're interested. I'm a big fan of Gdocs, btw

#31 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY :< I loved it though awsome chapter I hope I get to read mroe of this take this mustace :moustache:

#33 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>>997875

As for getting stories to the editor. Just set up a private google doc, and give your editors access with comments activated.

#34 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Awesome story and hilarious. I can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

#35 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Well.

This was hilarity on wheels.  You've got my attention.

Though one problem: Dash offers to blow-dry Dusk's hair, but his hair was never wet.

#36 · 116w, 5d ago · 3 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

NOW, DOST THOU WANT THE TOP, BOTTOM, OR SHALT WE COMMIT THE ACT DOGGY-STYLE?

#37 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

AWESOME DO MORE MORE:pinkiehappy::raritystarry::rainbowlaugh:

#38 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Good story, a nice twist on the rule63 thing. Poor Dusk has no idea what he's getting into...

#39 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

After reading this, this was the only reaction my brain could handle

#41 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Dusk Shine ,as in my favorite pony as a stallion?:yay:Now if only he were real......:trixieshiftright:

Congrats ,on getting featured!!

#42 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>>997513 Yes, yes he is.

7-4
#43 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Ok. It is Asocial for what you are going for in the description. Antisocial refers to sociopaths. Asocial refers to those who don't like being social, which is what you are going for.

Please fix it?

It bothers me.

#45 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Nifty idea! I've stuck this one on my "Read Later" list. For, you know, when I have time, and stuff :twilightsmile:

#46 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

Wow this story was more then what I expected for a R63. I like it:pinkiehappy: more soon plz.

7-4
#47 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

>>998284 Thank you! It's a pet peeve since I studied psychology when people misuse Antisocial.

#48 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

This has a bit more meta humor than I would prefer (though I only just made it to Sweet Apple Acres). Nevertheless I'll keep an eye on this to see where it goes.

#49 · 116w, 5d ago · 1 · · Mio Amore, No Me Gusta ·

I do believe that Pinkie has set a new record for fourth-wall breakings within the course of two episodes.

You know what this calls for!

:pinkiegasp:

CANTERLOT SIZED PARTY!

*Breaks out "We Like to Party"*

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