An 19-year-old American who doesn't go to cons. Follow me on my Twitter and on Fanfiction.net.
Humm sounds interesting just by looking at the description it has been inspired by Rosario+vampire
Going to track this
OMG I didn't read this shit yet but it smells of AWESOME just by reading the description!
Here take this little thumb up a favorite and this moustache
This Dusk is a little bit too much like me..... oh well I'll bite
thumbs up and fav
No clop scenes!? well I won't read be reading this then......... just kidding.
Its a pretty awesome story so far well done.
Not a bad take on the original story. However, the pacing could use a little work: the whole thing feels rather rushed, and there was a reason that the pilot was spread across two episodes rather than being crammed into one.
However, I think the characterisation of Dusk Shine was very well executed - it really captured the differences in the mindset, attitude and very nature of males and females - and I can agree with just about every mare in Equestria...
...Dusk Shine is a total cutie.
WHY U NO CLOP?
Okay, I've actually got this concept a LOT from these tropes, and I wanted to bring them to western animation. (minus the animation!)
AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! A dislike! MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!
“Stand back, I’m going to tinker with ancient artifacts of untold magical power, and I have no idea what I’m doing.”
This line... I love you man...
This idea...is genius...and by genius I mean
Ok this was hilarious, awaiting more... GENIOUS!
This is amazing, probably going to get featured. A great concept, and the aside comments add a good deal of humor. It's certainly interesting to throw a male into the mix. There are some great lines in this. Thank you for either skimming over, or lampshading the hell out of the scenes we've all seen and read a million times overs. I hope you continue this story with a similar writing style.
Pinkie's fourth wall awareness is well written AND humorous , sadly a rare occurrence these days. Fluttershy seems a little OOC, but everypony else is spot on and hilarious. The stuff that Dash says are among the highlights of this story.
That being said, grammar mistakes up in here. Like a lot. Not at the eye-gouging levels, but its still noticeable. Most often its a word that's been omitted unintentionally, or the wrong word, eg saying 'though' instead of 'through'.
All in all, a great fic. Keep that pen a'scribblin'.
LMFAO. Tracking...and KEEP THOSE CHAPTERS COMIN'!
>>997649997649 I kinda... don't have a proof reader. I know, it's scandalous!
....once this is completed I wish to see a clopverson.... if..that is....if you don't mind....that is...
....Also this is good.
This is just great...Just...Just great. The suspicious amounts of swag line made me fall out of my chair.
I find this story to be absolutely genius! The mares constantly fighting over a total cutie, the lines of said male that are completely true of what a guy would probably say, and it's perfect. Especially the lines of making him stay for brunch. Silly slave.
Also, that "Get a life" line is perfect.
Oh this is going to be good
Hmm not bad. May want to edit it as it have quite a few typos. Worth tracking.
He really has no experience with fillies, the sun princess thought. Perhaps I should try the old “Gala tickets” prank that I did with Clover the Clever VII…
oh god the next bit is going to be amazing
This is hilarious, tracked
Would be funny if NMM tries to seduce him :l
That was pretty funny, great going and hope the others will be just as fun.
In the end it was all to hook her little sister up with her student.
>>997716997716 Do you want a proof-reader?
>>997851997851 I don't know how it works, really.
>>997875997875 Easy. You just ask somebody to proof-read for you, they fix any errors and then you have a clean story. How is another thing entirely. I've had stuff in a gdoc and then commented on things or manually fixed things. I've also just messaged the errors in a pm. Oh we have ways.
By the way, those first lines in this story are winners. I knew this was going to be good. You got your style and intent to the reader for this fic very well.
Tenchi solution anyone? I mean in nature wild horse herds are generally ruled be one stallion anyway.
>“Stand back, I’m going to tinker with ancient artifacts of untold magical power, and I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Well, I would assume that DS knew SOMETHING about tinkering with magical artifacts, after all, he spent the past 10 years studying magic.
Also, in Fluttershy's defence, she and RD managed to jump the train 18 months AFTER this incident, giving her adequate time to receive SOME training.
Now all we need is for Apple Bloom to fall in love with DS....
I really want to see where this is going.
I too, offer my services as an editor, just send me a pm if you're interested. I'm a big fan of Gdocs, btw
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY :< I loved it though awsome chapter I hope I get to read mroe of this take this mustace
As for getting stories to the editor. Just set up a private google doc, and give your editors access with comments activated.
Awesome story and hilarious. I can't wait for more!
This was hilarity on wheels. You've got my attention.
Though one problem: Dash offers to blow-dry Dusk's hair, but his hair was never wet.
NOW, DOST THOU WANT THE TOP, BOTTOM, OR SHALT WE COMMIT THE ACT DOGGY-STYLE?
AWESOME DO MORE MORE
Good story, a nice twist on the rule63 thing. Poor Dusk has no idea what he's getting into...
After reading this, this was the only reaction my brain could handle
DETECTED SWAG LEVELS REACHING CRITICAL MASS!!
UNINTENTIONAL HAREM ACTIVATED! SUBJECT IS NOW WINNING AT LIFE!
Dusk Shine ,as in my favorite pony as a stallion?Now if only he were real......
Congrats ,on getting featured!!
>>997513997513 Yes, yes he is.
Ok. It is Asocial for what you are going for in the description. Antisocial refers to sociopaths. Asocial refers to those who don't like being social, which is what you are going for.
Please fix it?
It bothers me.
>>998273998273 I have no idea what you're talking about.
Nifty idea! I've stuck this one on my "Read Later" list. For, you know, when I have time, and stuff
Wow this story was more then what I expected for a R63. I like it more soon plz.
>>998284998284 Thank you! It's a pet peeve since I studied psychology when people misuse Antisocial.
This has a bit more meta humor than I would prefer (though I only just made it to Sweet Apple Acres). Nevertheless I'll keep an eye on this to see where it goes.
I do believe that Pinkie has set a new record for fourth-wall breakings within the course of two episodes.
You know what this calls for!
CANTERLOT SIZED PARTY!
*Breaks out "We Like to Party"*
ITS SO AWESOME!