The entire series of FiM as a harem comedy, centering around a Rule 63 Twilight Sparkle
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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yay update first
After reading: wow shit it's now more similar to Rosario + vampire
pinky pie is like moka and rarity is the horny one wow !
Ok I have 1 problem with thechapter . In this case it was the ending it was very sudden. Also I know that Harem comedy require the females not giving up the male but you could have had the Mane 5 do that scene similar to ticket master. And one more thing the way dusk wrote his letter well.. I felt it was OOC I know Twilight under imense strss can still be clam about the letters So duck should have been the same
Good job Dusk. You did your feminine alter-self proud.
Yep, that just happened.
woot woot updated
This is quality entertainment.
I....wha.....dear sweet...........
I love it...
Dusk Shine had three reactions to this, each in this order:
Shock: Holy Faust, Rarity’s in the shower with me!
Arousal: Oh boy, I bet her mane’s wet again!
Panic: I am so bucked.
Pretty much sums up the epicness of this story... And boy do i love this story!!!
oh wow! That was pretty bold of Rarity
Afterwards:
Dearest Princess Celestia
Today i've learned that mares are bucking insane, and that I should keep as much distance as equinely possible from them at all times. I also learned that hard hats are very useful, especially when living around Pinkie Pie.
In short, I respectfully request that, should you ever get it in your head to send me two tickets to the gala, you would quickly and mercilessly abolish the idea (preferably to the moon). Thank you,
Your faithful student,
Dusk Shine
yay moar great reading
Dusk's life is more eventful that's for sure not to mention more amusing. Wonder how long until a cat fight breaks out. One thing is for sure this version of the Gala is sure to be interesting.
I love the letter that Dusk started writing.
1051797 I actually have no idea what to do for that episode.
arch.413chan.net/1288859782062.jpg
Any suggestions?
Just finished reading part 2 and another comes up! My lucky day
1051722
"Duck"?
You know this makes me wonder (along with other fics) if Celestia does even care about her subjects...
asjajajja XD esta fantastica la historia =) Hoo falto que Pinkie Intentara seducirlo o Pinkamena XD
1051827 Dusk is a duck. It shall be so.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Send me 5 tickets to the Gala, please, so that these Mares will stop trying to pull me apart at the seams. there's only one I want, and now she's too terrified to come unless there's enough tickets for us all.
AND WOULD YOU STOP TROLLING ME, PLEASE?! I JUST WANT AN UNEVENTFUL LIFE WITH THE MARE OF MY DREAMS!!!
Your Faithful (though somewhat disgruntled) Student,
Dusk Shine.
Absolutely hysterical and hilarious!
1051668
Holy crap thats true!!
i would combine all three chapters into one chapter just a suggestion .p.s i love this story keep up the good work
1051326
And I did.
11,966 words for your Ticket Episode. How do I know? I added them in my head.
So long as you don't jump into the social paradigm where males are actually organized into herds with multiple females.
Not sure if you are using the standard gender imbalance or not.
1051823
I might have a few...
Anyway, I really liked the tone of the story after this. A proper good improvement! Still might need an editor for the little bits, though, to really improve everything.
Good end to it. I'm looking forward to the next one. Applebuck Season, right?
1051823
As for what to do with the finale, you could have all of the shenanigans at the party be related to the 5 of them trying to impress/kidnap/molest Dusk. Fluttershy snaps and sends her animal minions after him, Pinkie Pie tries out a different version of the "Pony Pokey" (~winks~), Dusk slips Blueblood a few bits to keep Rarity occupied (for some more role reversal) and so on. Have it end with Luna kidnapping Dusk.
Here we go. This chapter is excellent.
I've never been a fan of any harem manga with a spineless protagonist. The story works best when the lead character's attitude and decisions screw up his love life just as much as the crazy girls around him. Sure he can still be sent on a guilt trip or manipulated but he isn't just a passive observer in his own story. When Dusk takes a stand and tries to get Fluttershy to come with him he displays some of that spine.
I also enjoyed your treatment of Pinkie/Pinkamena more this time. Less disturbing neuroses, more subtle fourth wall references and realistic emotions.
You, my good sir, hit the mark with this one.
this fic will fall to clop eventually ahahahahahahahah
remember the dark side has muffins lolololol
1051769
Or better yet:
Dearest Princess Celestia
Today i've learned that mares are bucking insane, and that I should keep as much distance as equinely possible from them at all times. However, there is some good news! I've decided who I'm taking to the Gala, a wonderful stallion named Caramel! He's funny and sweet, and best of all, he's not some completely insane mare!
Yours truly,
Dusk Shine
It'd be interesting to see how shocked the other Mane 5 would be to realize that NOT only are none of them going to the Gala on a date with Dusk, they actually managed to turn him gay with their insane competition!
I'm very much enjoying this fic. Really, my only worry is that the All-The-Mares-Want-Dusk's-Cock jokes are going to get old. Hopefully not.
polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=47906638
1051849 A approve of these turn of events 100 %.
Gah, I love this story!
To make a long story short…
They did.
Was that a "Captain Underpants" reference?
1051823
I present: Have Dusk x before the Gala episode.
Have Dusk die before the Gala episode.
Have Dusk go back to the future before the Gala episode.
Have Dusk set the other mares with dates before the Gala episode.
Have Dusk marry whoever not an element of harmony before the Gala episode.
Have Dusk meet and fight evil epic alicorn Twilight Sparkle from nega Equestria before the Gala.
Or do a A Night at the Roxbury with Dusk, Spike and Big Mac... at the Gala.
...
I am out of bad ideas.
So do you move on to Applebuck Season, or do you skip around?
Can you ATLEAST make a Dusk x Dashie shipping chapter? I would be ever so grateful.
After comparing the shower scene (Rarity is such a naughty filly...) with the events from chapter one I have to ask: Is Dusk a mane fetishist?
Besides that Spike's right! Why not Rainbow? Dusk's life would never become boring but it wouldn't be that randam and life treatening like the one with Pinakena
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am terrified of letting these ponies know that I am secretly a homosexual. I am afraid that they will kill me. Please place me in the witness relocation program as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Dusk Shine
1051823
Lunaughty :l
1051722 the problem is that twilight is a female that look up to princess celestia like a god. Dusk is a male that look up to her like a teacher. not the same thing. on a side note Twilight do not get molested and beaten before she write her letter.
Just so many levels of hilarity in this story. If Dusk thinks this was bad, I cant wait to see what happens at the Gala or even when Discord breaks out.
Hooray. Loving it. I was hoping for more seduction wars, but nevermind. Aww Fluttershy, Dusk is perfect for you, don't go to the friend zone.
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/132988456850.gif
Still going good, but less Pinkamena, I beg you!!!
"'Rarity, we need to talk about this obsession with me…' no, that would get me hit with a sewing machine."
If this is a reference to a certain Tumblr...regardless, I laughed heartily. Great chapter!
1051823
Suggestion:
Concept taken from H-games:
UNLOCKABLE HAREM ENDING!
If they're already fighting over Dusk now, I hate to see what would happen if they go into heat (or whatever its called for ponies)
1052133If so, the BEST MOTHERBUCKING STORY EVER