Not to be a McNitpick, but you should probably put a little link in your synopsis there to the other fic.

Like [ url= blah blah ] thing [ /url]

>>993137993137 As I said, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I'll get to that when I have time.

best fanfic yet i love it

what is this? no comments? well i guess somepony has to be the first.

i liked this chapter (even though i have not played whatever game you are highlighting here), im not one for detailed and long criticisms but there is one small thing i noticed, your descriptions are kind repeditive. (ex: Said a man clad in golden armor and wings made of light as he cut down a juggernaut with a sword of light.)

you can build more words into every sentence, what if you wrote:  * said a man clad in golden armor and wings made of PURE BRIGHT as he cut down a juggernaut with a sword of light *

repeditive words can really slow the flow of a story more than you'd think.

while this proably slips right across some people, simply improving the style you write in will help your stories alot!

ps: i am not a pro critisiser and probably won't be one either

im definetely following this fic further!

>>994483994483 Thanks! I'll get to work editing that. Unfortunately, I have a little bit of writer's block. And on a day with no school too!

Asum chapter just like the rest of the story. well i guess the griffin king is scarred for life now... oh well fuck him!