I request more.

Chapter 1 on the way XD, thanks for your patronage

We need more.

New Chapter, just a quickie while I work on the 'party' chapter (can you guess who the 'Pink Mass' is? X3)

Read, Review, and criticize my friends. I live to learn

>>988744988744 I'm thinking the pink mass is rarity... Or maybe princess Luna.

>>988779988779 You may be right

haha "cream of humanity"

i'll just read the story now

Pink mass? Its Darth Vader right?

"fusion reactor 3 going critical"

Every single part of the nuclear scientist inside of me cried when I read this.

Other than that, this seems interesting enough.  I'll have to see where this goes

do want

sooooo tracking

can't wait for more

You need to fix some things. But other than that, nice job!

30 minutes until shit hits the fan at dimensional proportions

Needs some work.

Instead of "1 and a half minutes..."

You should use "One and a half minutes"

And any other iteration of numbers within a sentence or narrating.

Better to get someone who knows allot more about grammar to proof read for you...

Other than that, this is set up to be a pretty damn good "encounter" story.

We will see if you can keep it up after first contact.

The formatting needs a once over. I'm guessing you copy-pasted this from another program? Formatting doesn't always carry over as it should.

Thanks for the advice and the praise :)

>>995598995598

I did copy-paste , so I guess the formatting is a little off

>>995108995108

I'll find a proof reader then I will have to edit it a little then, thanks for the heads up

just discovered this fic and i like it already

Thanks XD

squee

can't wait for more :)

also

first :)

lol luna will probably brag about being right now

Brill! Love it cant wait for more

Awesome First Contact scenario.

Can't wait to see how the ponies will react to the transhuman crew.

shit is gonna hit the fan in 1 chapter

Luna, in any other other action or event that you have made or caused I would never say something like this but as you have just ripped a big spacecraft which contains thousands of sentinel lives away from their part of the univers and in the process caused international distress, severe and unrepairable damage to the said spacecraft which in turn might have killed hundreds and endangered thousands, just because you took them looking at the most rare sight humanity has ever seen as intruding on what you think as your sky I must say this

YOU STUPID, SELFISH, IGNORANT, SHORT SIGHTED, IDIOT!!!!!

im kinda hoping for a war now

because luna is just that stupid

War is a possibility , what with humans being humans

But I can say that there are repercussions for Luna on the way

If energy can be detected, it can be traced back to the source

*god notices Luna screwing with his universe*

"No, Princess Luna SCREW YOU!"

To this day Luna ices her sore buttocks from the butt rape she recieved for pissing of the god of humanity.

(for those who are to stupid/arragont to figure this out, it's. a. joke. Notice that I also left god in lowercase. I'm not trying to piss of a diety here, just telling a funny daydream I had after reading this. You want something REALLY religously offensive check of Liberty Prime invade... I mean saves Equestria.)

Oh god. If ponies and humans get into a war, it would be SOOOO ridiculously one-sided. A single ship with who knows HOW MANY laser cannons that probably shoot giant glowing middle-fingers of death versus spears, crossbows and magic bolts. Yeah, we all know who'd win that.

Also, was the ship torn in half? I hope it wasn't. In the case they don't have a war, all of Equestria's planet will look in awe at such a ship.

It seems First Contact has gone very, very wrong.

On a side note, if this turns into "Equestrians Are Bastards" or "Humans Are Bastards"; I will be very disappointed.

Also names of ships are italicized.

biy Luna sure is an entitled little bitch isnt she!

>>10264321026432 I did write her as a little bit 'smug bitch'.

But I feel its justified, she still has an old world way of seeing the world, she could extinguish all life on equestria with no more effort than it takes most ponies to cough. This is the first time she's ever noticed holes in 'her sky'.

>>10263341026334 Equestrians, Bastards? That sentence does not compute within my brony mind . Also, thanks for the heads up about the ship names

>>10260161026016 . That is all...

Why is Celestia just letting Luna do this?   Seriously shes just ripped a giant ship of intelligent sentient beings from another universe through a hole in space to teach them some sort of fucked up lesson by dragging these unknown space faring creatures all the way to Equestria armed with lord knows what ready to reduce the planet to a crumb of ash and Celestias just like: I understand sister. I DONT THINK YOU FUCKING DO!

Oh deary me, here come the Earth-men to Equestria. They might be a tad angry

DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE! WE ARE PRINCESS LUNA, GODDESS OF THE NIGHT! THOU CANNOT JUST GROUND US!

just did.

Okay, first off, pumped for when they land on the planet.

Second, oh lordy PLEASE start a new paragraph when someone else talks! To be honest, it takes away from the story.

Okay, first off, pumped for when they land on the planet.

Second, oh lordy PLEASE start a new paragraph when someone else talks! To be honest, it takes away from the story.

>>10311241031124 Will do , and thanks

Equestrians meet Terrans? This oughta be interesting.

Something tells me that the crew's gonna be pissed when they found out that Luna dragged them through the wormhole and collapsed it, stranding them in another dimension and time.

>>10312511031251 Yes I am pretty sure that the crew is going to be absolutely irate.

Image:  http://i.imgur.com/pEaQL.png

Image:  http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/135/710/130660655896.jpg

this is gonna be goooooood

I love this story so far and love the way things are going but please don't end up with a total "War" for first contact.

There are so many different stories that show war as the first choice of contact, at least all the stories that I've read so far end up that way.

Maybe make it so that they are mainly pissed off at Luna and focus their anger towards her but no so much as all out war.

Pretty please?

Anywho you have an awesome story so that makes you just as awesome.

>>10335921033592 Don't worry, Be happy

But no seriously, don't worry. This isn't going to be grimdark. The violence will be mostly PG

...Mostly

>>10338761033876

THEN ONWARD TO PARENTAL GUIDANCE BATTLE OF THE POTATO...wut?

Anywho, alright awesome.

And it is here!

Chunkiest chapter yet, so expect mistakes galore

Poor stupid Luna if only she hadn't been so idiotic. I like action as much as the next person but she hasn't destroyed hopes of diplomacy completly has she?

>>10418321041832 Nah This isn't a grimdark war fic. this is just a pseudo-dark stage before the fun stuff kicks in

wait are they going to kidnap luna ?

Story aside... you should make up your mind about formatting.  If you are going to put spaces between paragraphs, then put spaces between all of them.  If you are going to indent paragraphs, then indent them all.  Otherwise it just looks inconsistent; like you couldn't make up your mind what you wanted to do.

woot! the playing field has been leveled with those anti-magic weapons/defences......so lets get kidnapping!

>>10419221041922 I shall edit!

>>10418771041877, >>10419531041953 And then for the interrogation What fun they shall have.

Seems like you left italics on the last half of the chapter. The anti magic things seem alright and plausible, and nice to even out the playing field.

I am forever the optimist

It looks like the humans don't want to kill anypony (except as a last resort)

And the ponies are peaceful (ish) by nature

so i don't see this turning out too bad

Let us see how the manure hits the fan shall we?

Well. If war breaks out, those 10 could easily capture Equestria.

Oh, and you left italics in for the last half of the chapter. It was a little annoying, but whatever.

>>10418671041867

OH WOW

i am SO GLAD i miss read that

I (for some unknown reason, possibly sleep deprivation) read that as "this is a grimdark war fic."

And i was enjoying it so much, but I don't normally like grimdark stuff.

I was going to continue, but was worried.

But thank Celestia i read that wrong

awwww man it's getting real now, action time. YES!

Just wait until they find out about all the different races on the planet then either shit themselves, call bullshit, be filled with glee and happiness, or even just think their water has been tainted or something.

Love this chapter and love this story.

For a second there, I was about to close the page because I thought it ended at that authors note,

So the space marines are essentially Halo SPARTANs with a touch of Starcraft Terran Marines?

Awesome!

By the way, your grammar really faltered here.

Keep up the good work!

The space marnies actually sound like they were ripped straight from warhammer 40k.

>>10447531044753 I got them on loan from the god-emperor

>>10426681042668  How are you so sure I didn't write that wrong

>>10439861043986 Where!? Tell me!. And thanks, those two games were my main inspiration for their feel

>>10431671043167 Just wait until the other races find out that the humans have tech capable of completely disabling any magic user, even one as powerful as Celestia (especially Celestia in fact, the more powerful a 'psychic' the more of an effect those grenades will)

>>10423401042340 edited the chapter, should be fixed . thanks for the head up, and the compliment

>>10468201046820

Because your editing skills are...

you didn't right?...RIGHT

either way i'm still reading

Are you saying I suck at editing? How could you be so mean?

Though I am seriously searching for a proof-reader/editor to make my grammar and general structure marginally more readable

Any offers?

Quick filler Chapter while I chew through the writers block I'm suffering for the upcoming 'lets kidnap the Alicorn' chapter which is idling at around 2,000 words right now. (I hate writing Celestia, it's so hard keep her believably threatened, given the immense magical might she can put out.)

Forgive me?

arg you troll!

well i was gonna give you a cookie but then i read this sign

Image:  http://www.davegillam.com/blog/files/troll-web.jpg

My face at the first and last part of the chapter:

Image: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/320/900/b22.png

damnest thee, yon troll!

>>10468201046820 FOR THE EMPEROR!!!

sorry, couldn't resist.

It would appear that the fecal material shall cease to be fictional momentarily.

I do not envy those who would be caught up in this event...

... What?!

Seriously, they have no idea the capabilities of this planet beyond producing god-tier psychics, and the first thing they do is _declare war_ by moving to kidnap whichever citizen _was_ powerful enough to pull them several thousand kilometers?

And this is supposed to be the cream of humanity?

>>10609091060909 From the 'New Dawn's perspective, Equestria (or at least Luna) declared war first

Their first priority is in fact to 'eliminate that psychic as a threat' , if that means tossing a psych-out grenade into the room and then spraying whoever is inside with bullets, they will do so. If that means calling in an orbital strike with the ship's main cannons, they will do so.

However, since I neglected to put dark tags on this story, rest assured that Luna will not end the night riddled with holes, and canterlot will remain unbombarded.

They do have a fair idea of the planet's capabilities however, orbital scans would show the location and general strength of any massed groups of, or powerful individual, psychics on the surface.

And I win

Sorry if it seems a teeny bit rushed near the end... It seems that way because it is

Curse my writer's block, if I find inspirations strikes, I shall return and this will be edited to a higher standard

YES! a perfect stealth mission

i was hoping the humans would succeed

and thats what happens bitches

Let's hope there's still chance for peace.

On a side note, the end seemed a bit rushed compared to the beginning.

>>10644721064472 It seems that way, because it was I was trying to get the chapter out before my internet disappeared

On a side note, peace may well be be a possibility because we all know how very 'reasonable' and 'willing to compromise' Celestia can be

>>10644721064472

Well the human decision to stick to non-lethal force will certainly lead to a much better starting point, but there's still going to be plenty of stress at the bargaining tables when both sides reach them  Of course that would require both sides to be able to communicate.  The Feather Dusters scene definitely hints that ponies don't speak English, so I suspect that Luna is going to be spending a lot of time talking with whoever passes for a language expert on the ship.  (Since there probably isn't a professional linguist.)

Now you see, the reason why the most defended place in their country fell to 10 soldiers, is because humans are just better in every way, shape and form. Seriously. Don't shoot crossbows at people who don't even flinch at the fact that you're shooting them with a crossbow.

>>10670191067019 one and a half centuries of technological advancement may have tipped the odds slightly further in the human's favor than any innate racial advantages might. Just saying

>>10668311066831 I might as well hint that it may not be the ponies that weren't speaking English Equestrians speak English perfectly well, according to the show at least

>>10692481069248

@ the english part

For all we know, those soldiers could have been speaking Russian or German.

I apologize in advance for my horrible rhyming

Have a smile

Image: https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/4/BZNXeqQxf0yGt_0dgEd13g2.jpg

First things first: So they're actually speaking a different language? Okay. But why would English become a dead language so soon? English is the most common language on Earth, and I doubt it would be extinct anytime in the near or far future.

And secondly: I doubt Zecora's gonna do much damage to his armour. :P

>>10990831099083 Not dead, just not widely used, especially on Mars.

And the corporal took off the armour on his face

Thanks for reading.

lol zecora just pwned him

“they're adorable!” she exclaimed loudly, thankful for the sound-baffling on her mouthpiece, she lowered her rifle to her side and giggled “If they weren't sentient and doing so wouldn't break regulations I'd hop out of this tree right now and go hug one”\

Best reaction EVER

So the space troopers don't speak English? Interesting. Still wondering why English becamw a rare language in this universe.

I'm guessing "Galactic Standard Dialect" is something like Esperento.

Looks like First Contact might be going alone fine. Also, your grammar needs work. There's a lot of places where you confused plural and posessive.

>>11003131100313 Ain't it just

>>11010681101068 Esperanto was my main inspiration yeah

My grammar again could you point out a few specific instances? Just so I can go back and edit.

Now the cat's out of the bag I might as well explain my head-canon: English is still used in United Solar Council (USC) space, but only really on earth, where its survived as a secondary language on the European Continent.

The USC took up a standardized language to help meld colonies from different regions; Mars's first and largest Colony was from Asia with most folk there speaking something like Mandarin Chinese, Russia was the first to put a manned station in orbit around Jupiter, only the Lunar Colony crew ever spoke English as a first language.

Hope that helps

>>11028031102803 Only the colony on the moon spoke fluent English? Somehow I doubt that. AEIOUAEIOUAEIOUEIOUAEIOU....

three fillies having pleasant conversation with a alien

smash its face is

way to act first contact zecora, you are lucky you are my second most favorite character in the show

Yay, diplomacy with scout team

This opens up possibility for other fun stuffs and I don't know what I am saying anymore.

This might be my worst chapter yet

Or my best

I'm no judge

Ooohh, I liked it!

But I was thinking that Celestia let them take Luna because just the 8 uninjured soldiers could cut their entire army down in less than a minute.

I don't know if you answer this later on, but there is a small issue. the hole has been there for at least a couple years, and they only just noticed it? I find the issue easy to ignore (or you could explain through some kind of time difference between universes), but just thought i'd mention it.

>>11237781123778 I'm always glad to explain my plot-holes , The answer is simple really. The Night-sky is Massive, even with modern technology, we are in no way close to mapping it all. I can imagine that with the mostly medieval nature of equestrian tech, a (By cosmic standards) tiny hole in the night sky could remain hidden for quite a few years, especially when it is so close to a bright star like polaris.

Well, the CMC will be in for a bit of a shock when they wake up.

>>11240481124048 If they wake up.

>>11241071124107 lolwut?

... A vivisection. On a prisoner belonging to an alien civilisation. _Because it's not human_.

*Insert rant on ethics and the mind here*

You know what? After a few hundred years of evolution, plus gene therapy, I feel fairly certain that _she_ would no longer count as human (by our standards). We haven't tested the effects of exposure to a vacuum, have we? Well, I'm sure she won't mind then if we shove her out the nearest airlock for thirty seconds or so. After all _she isn't human_.

*ahem*

Anyway, the rest of the story-

Celestia's explanation was fine, if, perhaps, a little flirty. He _is_ married to her niece, isn't he?

Regardless, with that understanding, it does seem plausible that she would refuse to allow her Guard to engage them further.

Doesn't quite explain why she let them abduct her sister, however. She is unkillable by any means known to ponykind, probably including 'celestial immolation'. But these _aren't_ ponies they're dealing with - it is quite possible they could kill them. The fact that the sonic emitters can cause damage faster than an alicorn's natural healing processes can repair it would seem to indicate this (Not that PC could be aware of that). So, whilst her statement concerning the lengths she would go to if her sister were in danger was admirable - _how can she know_ if her sister is in danger?

Then, the CMC. Personally, I think the Lieutenant was a bit excessive there.SOP's are introduced for a reason - not only that, but considering the engineer's obvious lower rank, she simply could have ordered him to let them on board. As soon as she does that, his ass is covered, and she carries the can if/when it all goes south. The OTT macho display was wholly unnecessary at that point.

Considering they were unwilling to abandon the CMC to the predations of the forest, perhaps my loss of faith in humanity wasn't totally justified. Then again, they _did_ break quarantine procedures. The stupidity/recklessness inherent in that sort of balances out the rescuing-humanity-from-moral-bankruptcy of it.

We demand MORE! ......................Please?

i loved the spech celestia gave