What a Surprise...

by Rainbow

What a Surprise...

Hello. I'm a changeling, the last one left in Equestria, actually. But I am not bad like most changelings. I learned what being a pony is like, and I'm going to tell you how I became good.

I looked around, making sure no one was watching me, then ran behind a bush. I came out from behind as a yellow unicorn. I casually trotted by the park, looking around for my next victim. By that, I mean looking for the next pony to prank. A pink pony came by, her hair bouncing as she trotted happily past me. Pinkie Pie, of course. She always loved to pull pranks, so I thought I could try to pull one on her. I went behind a tree to turn into a white pegasus with a yellow, puffy mane. I had turned into Surprise, who is Pinkie's long lost cousin who she thought had died.
I flew over to the pink pony. "Hey!" I said, hovering above the ground. Pinkie Pie dashed around and nearly fainted as she saw me. "Surprise?! Is that you?" She said, looking around and shaking with excitement. "Yep!" I said, hoping that this would work. "Oh, cousin Surprise! I thought you were gone! I haven't seen you in a super duper wuper long time!" She said, bouncing around. "Follow me, I'll take you to my house!" So I followed her to the Sugar Cube Corner.
She smiled as a flew in and landed. "Smells good," I said, nodding. "Is this a bakery?"
"Yupperdoodle doo!" She said. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake work here with me, and they have foals, too! Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake are their names. Come on, I'll show you my room!" bouncing up the stairs. "Come on, I'll show you my room!"
I came in to her on her bed, with an alligator on her head. "Is that an alligator?" I yelped. "It's my pet alligator, Gummy! It's okay, he has no teeth!" She smiled, bouncing around. "So Surprise, do you want to help me make a few batches of cupcakes? I need to deliver some in a few days and I need a LOT made!" "Uh, sure!" I replied.
She pulled a cupcake pan from right behind her (she tends to do crazy things like that a lot, I don't really get it...) and balanced it on her nose. "Want me to tell you how I make cupcakes?" I nodded my head, looking around.
There was silence for a second, then she suddenly bust out in:
"All you have to to is take a cup of flower, add it to the mix..."
"Uh..."
"Now just take a little something sweet, not sour, a bit of salt, just a pinch."
I realized what she was doing. She is quite random, after all. She was doing a bunch of feats like tossing flour and sugar around and tossing them into the bowl. Some mix clouded up and got on me. "Oh, I guess you can just sing the ingre-"
"Making these treats is such a cinch, add a teaspoon of vanilla.
Add a little more, then you count to four, and you never get your fill-a!"
"Fill-a?"
"...And that's how Equestria was made!" She said, after the ingredients were in the bowl. "Now to put these in the oven! You can go wash your hooves." She said, smiling. "Well, that was easy." I muttered to myself as I trotted to the bathroom. I came out with not a speck of flour, sugar, or mix on me. Pinkie Pie bounced up to me. "Wanna play a game in my room?" She said, bouncing around. "Uh, sure," I said, as I headed up the stairs with her.
"It's called Celestia Says!" She said, beaming from ear to ear. "Celestia Says? I thought everypony knew that one." I replied. "Nononono, this is extreme Celestia says." I held back a sigh. "Okay," I said. Pinkie Pie bounced. "Celestia says... raise your back hoof." So I did. Simple.
"Celestia says... put one wing down!" So I did. What was so hard about it?
"Celestia says stomp your front hoof!" So I did...
"Now put down your back hoof." I set down my back hoof. "Yoooouuu loooseee!" She said, bouncing. "What?" "Celestia didn't say to set down your back hoof, silly filly!" She giggled. I smirked. "Let me try again!"
So we did another game, and another and another. It, honestly, was pretty fun. "Let's go check on the cupcakes," Said Pinkie Pie, hopping towards the stairs. So I flew after her. When we came into the kitchen, the cupcake batter splattered all over everything. I used my hoof to wipe the batter off of my face. I looked over to Pinkie Pie, who licked it off of her face. "Did I put the batter in my party cannon again? That's the fifth time... today!" She said, giggling. I laughed along, trying not to be rude. From being with her for hours, it wasn't hard to figure out that she is very funny and... random.
"I'm gonna go wash off." I said.
After I came back from the bathroom, Pinkie Pie looked at me. After a few minutes, she finally said, "Surprise, I thought your eyes were purple, not green..." She said, tilting her head. Did my eyes fade back to green? "Oh, I just got something in my eyes..." I said, pretending to wipe my eyes by covering them, fading them back to purple. "There, it's out." I said, blinking a few times. She made a very strange look at me, then said, "Okey dokey lokey!"
She looked over to the window. "It's getting late. Wanna go to my room and have a slumber party?" "Sure," I said, following her to her room.
"So what do you wanna do? Another game of Celestia Says? I have paper and pencils, too! Oh, what about a pillow fight? Or we could tell spooky stories! Maybe play with Gummy, or play with glow sticks..." It felt like she was going on forever. "...tell jokes, do dances--" "Let's just do the spooky stories." I said.
"Alright, I'll do the first one." She said. I sat down. "Once there was a... uh... gigantic dragon-pony thingy! And it started crushing Ponyville! RAWRAWRG it said. And it ate all the ponies and he was happy. The end!" She smiled, waiting for my response. "Scary!" I said, giggling a bit. "Okay, I'll do one now..."
"There was once a pony named Dewdrop. She had heart rumors about some ghostly pony apparently called Bloody Mare." Pinkie Pie suddenly started shaking. "Sorry, is that too scary?" I said, perking my ears up. "Nonono, this just sometimes happens when something unusual is going to happen. Probably the fun-ness of the sleepover!" "Oh, Surprise Sense?" "No, Pinkie Sense!" "...Well anyway."
"...Dewdrop didn't believe in Bloody Mare, and tried to summon her to prove that she wasn't real. She sat in front of a mirror in a dark room, and lit one candle, and said Bloody Mare three times. She felt pride in herself when nothing happened... but then a dark, ghastly face appeared in the mirror. Out stepped the ghostly pony from the mirror, a large black alicorn with a black mane and red eyes. Dewdrop tried to run, but Bloody Mare pulled her into the mirror and Dewdrop was never seen again."
Pinkie Pie giggled. "That wasn't scary!" She said. "It's late. We should get to sleep." She said, hopping into her bed. "My bed is huge, you can get in, too." I got into her bed and tried to go asleep.

(Note: This is rated okay for everyone. xD You'd better not be thinking bad things.)

Within a few minutes, Pinkie Pie was asleep. I just realized that my eyes might've been turning green. I went to the bathroom to see. As I stepped in, I slipped on some water on the ground from the sink. "Surprise, I think Gummy's doing something... I'm gonna go see." Before I had time to look at the mirror, I hopped into the bathtub and hid behind the shower curtain. Pinkie Pie came into the bathroom and looked around. "Are you in the tub, Gummy?" She said, opening the shower curtain. Before she could open it, I hopped out of the bath, looking around. "BLOODY MARE!!!" She screamed, hiding her face under her hooves. "What? It's just me, Surprise!" Pinkie Pie peeked up. "No you aren't... you're a changeling!" I gasped and looked into the mirror. Had I accidentally turned into a changeling? I sighed and slumped to the ground. I was having so much fun... I had realized how fun it was not be bad. I learned how fun it was to be a pony. And I ruined it all. "Pinkie Pie, please forgive me... can we still be friends?" "Not with a changeling! I thought they were all blown away! I was so happy to think Surprise wasn't dead, but I just realized... you're a liar!" Her hair suddenly flattened, and she stomped off to her room. I turned into Surprise and followed her, but she slammed the door as I tried to come in. "Get out of my sight, you liar! You have made me so happy... but then ruined it!"
I stood at the door for a while, then headed down the stairs and came out. I started flying away. Pinkie Pie was my first ever friend, and taught me a great lesson about fun, friendship, and laughter. But it was all ruined. I continued flying, unsure of where I was going.
But wherever I am going, I refuse to make any mistakes like that again.

Comments

[sierra_seven_]

Very good! Though I reckon Pinkie would have stayed friends with the changeling, 'cos Pinkie's like that. Oh well, all's fair in love and cupcakes.

[Cascadejackal]

It could use a little work, but I enjoyed it.

[The PatioHeater]

A good idea, but definitely needs some work. Seperating the speech of different characters would be a good idea, make it less confusing to read. And more emotions/description would also be good. But other than that, this was good.

[MrCreeper97]

[TheGreatSako]

That's...a pretty horrible "prank".

[shutaro]

Nice idea, but the storytelling needs some fine-tuning, like less use "Pinkie Pie X, so I did Y". Also the note about how the story is rated "for everyone" totally broke the flow of the story, in bold, too boot.
The only thing that bugged me storywise:
How does a changeling know about a dead cousin of Pinkie Pie? And how does he know enough to transform into her? Was Surprise a famous pony? You might want to explain that to the reader or tone the "dead cousin"-thing down.
Maybe Surprise is a renowned party-planer and Pinkie Pie's idol? Like Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts?

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Oh poor Pinkie Pie she thought she'd met her long lost cousin only to find out it was a changeling, bummer!

[Theclockmaker]

i.qkme.me/3ox9d8.jpg

[Rainbow]

Made this out of boredom, I know it needs work xDD

[Latreas]

needs a seqaul