love the concept and the story line is pretty well developed but the pacing seems just slightly off to me. It's an entertaining read but it doesn't seem to me that it put enough detail into the locations and the dialogue could use some work. It's a great story, but it could always be greater. Keep writing.

>>993226993226

That's the kind of feedback I'm looking for. Thanks for leaving me a comment!

Those are issues I'm aware of, and things that I'll be trying to improve on in the future.

>>993271993271 always glad to put in my two bits for aspiring writers. While I don't write anything myself I love to read and as such find that my advice is often surprisingly helpful. Glad I could be of use.

A thought that just Pinkie popped into my mind. Is it possible that parasprites are a subspecies

of tribbles. Somebody call Spock.

As for the pacing being slightly off. What else would happen when Pinkie is involved.

Loved this story. My only disappointment was that I was starting to hope for a sort of romance to blossom between Guy and Prism.

Maybe I've just got too much shipping on the mind. All the same, I really enjoyed reading this.