BY THE GODS i think ive just struck a first gj btw!

The use of "Dash" as Daring's last name was a bit too much IMO. I mean, surnames seem to come and go in Equestria (like how there's no "Sparkle" in "Shining Armor"), and it just sounds kinda weird...

But that's just my nitpicking; I love the concept, and it's a very solid first chapter. Please do continue

Daring Do?!

"How will Rainbow react to seeing a relative she'd sooner deny all existence for than claim to be related?" The solution is obvious: Kill the other twin!

Problem solved!

I loved this chapter and I sincerely encourage u to make moar like these!

If you ask me having Fluttershy break up their fight was weak.

Having Fluttershy solve their problems should be a last resort and the idea

that Fluttershy can make anything cower in fear just by raising her voice is a little absurd.

Thats at least what I think. Having the two fight it out and then solve their own problems would

of made for a better scenario.

>>975593975593

I liked it. But it seemed to solve itself a little too quickly. I would have liked it more if there was some good drama between the two and maybe if they didn't try to kill each other at first glance...then yea.

But it was enjoyable anyway

>>975890975890

Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/316/903/888.png

Da FUCK you starin' at, boy?

Oh! You just earned yourself a favorite, chap! Hopefully someday, there will be a Daring Do emotioncon. But for now...

I agree that their confrontation ended too quickly.

On another note, this story's concept is full of win. I will commence tracking.

From lack of a Daring Do emoticon, have a supplementary mustache:

A good start, I say. I'd like to read the rest of the story when it comes out.

>>975438975438 That would solve everything! It'd be easy to get rid of the twin since no one knows you have one! Especially if they have a habit of going to dangerous places! It also made me have flashbacks to my mother's soap opera's...

>>975593975593

>>975904975904

>>976211976211

Now that I look at it, I can see why it looks like it ended too quickly. Guess I didn't notice since I had already written out the main parts of the next chapter, and cut off the first chapter before anything really revealing between the sisters happened.

As for the fighting between the two, there's more to it. They only stopped for the moment so they can talk it out later, or beat the crap out of each other in this case.

It's more like they're following the, Behave when mom is looking, but after she makes us hug and walks away, I'm going to kill you, rule.

-Silver

The grammar needs work but this is awesome I enjoyed reading it can't wait for more

>>976821976821

Ooh. well I guess that makes a little more sense. xD

>>976821976821 Now that you mention it, killing Daring and making it look like an accident would be stupidly easy. Ancient ruins can be dangerous places...

>>981274981274 Shhh! Don't tell anyone that! No one needs to know! It just makes Rainbow more awesome!

>>975399975399

Agreed, here; adding the Dash to the end of her name just smacks of unoriginality. What's the point of artificially lengthening her name like that? I can see wanting the authoritative factor of addressing someone by their first, middle and last names, I suppose. Still, even considering that, it just sounds really stupid.

My first fic and I love it! continues plz

Awesome story! Deserves a fave. If there was a Daring Do emoticon I would use it. Also, the episode "Read it and Weep" got me back into reading. So here:

Stop building anticipation and post the next damn chapter

I found one mistake that bugs me the most.

Rainbow Dash froze as the voice registered in my mind.

The corrected version should be 'Rainbow Dash froze as the voice registered in her mind.'

But overall, the story is great and I can't wait for more!

>>996941996941

Fixed! Can't believe I missed that...

wow. this is incredibly original. i think the problem helps itself out too much, but breaking apart a fight isn't exactly impossible. she is often a mediator.  

Image: http://i.neoseeker.com/mgv/60953-Shadow%20of%20Death/953/85/rainbow_dash_seal_of_approval_by_lemonyhoovesd3d8vey_display.png

also, i think that this was inspired when dash said "i'm with you sister" after she broke her wing and in the book, daring do broke her wing.

deductive reasoning, anyone?

That last bit is hilarious! What I would like to know is who was thinking what.

>>975411975411 they do seem to have middle names, possible middle name?

YES! RESOLUTION ENSUES!

Well written and fun to read. Also, I can kinda relate to the story line (my little brother is still mad though).

Keep'em comin'!

-ahem-

MOAR

YES WE WANT AN EPILOGUE

>>10122791012279 Now that I think about it HOLY-

Wow, I would have never thought of Daring Do as a long lost sister of Rainbow Dash. Nice story!

D'aaawww....

this piece is 20% better than the previous, and it can only get better from here.

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JFPOMuPaBJ0/TpXZHjRJ34I/AAAAAAAAAUc/S-Knn92ZKmE/s1600/tumblr_lmt3qdRJXT1qafrh6.jpg

Not epilog, make it a 4 chapters story or more! This story had to must potential to be a 3 chapter.

>>10123671012367

yeah, ikr? i saw that episode this morning on netflix, which is the only reason i made the connection.

neeeeeeeeeed

MOOOOOOAAAAR

NOW!

The dash has been doubled!  

wait, epilogue? Is there maybe possibly a chance for sequel status? Would make me happy

two Dashs? OH CELESTIA HELP US!

Is this Alternate Universe?

The story image implies that Dash's idol, Daring Do, is the sister she wants to forget.

According to canon that makes no sense.

... Okay, seriously, this can't just be the end. They have to go on adventures and stuff!

>>10126671012667

It was pretty clear that Daring had quite a bit of Dash's personality. I initially attributed that to Dash's personality asserting its self in the imaginary world she created when reading the series, but I suppose you could stretch that enough for it to be Daring using her sister as one of the fictional (meta!) Daring's inspirations.

Great story! Very similar to Sister's Do, but quite a bit more lighthearted, would love to read more!

>>975593975593 You are forgetting The Stare.

>>10122791012279 That, and Shining Armor.

>>10128381012838

shining armor?

I love it

were doomed yes send away the more annoying one now figure out which

Write more or i eat your heart

One slight inconsistency:  the description refers do Daring as Rainbow's "twin" but the story refers to Daring as the older sister at least twice.

Unless she's only a few minutes older or something

>>975399975399 No one knows Rarity's and Sweetie Belle's family name, The Apple family's family name is undefined, and the name/surname policies in Equestria are kind of weird.

This is my headcanon now. pls write more

Quite a touching story. Continue on please.

This is now headcanon, and deservingly so. More please? Sequel perhaps?

That, and perhaps I should use something like this in my fic. yeaaaaahh... I like that. You don't mind do you? it wouldn't be the exact same thing, but it kind of is your concept.

Hmm, a very interesting concept. Let's see how you ended it, shall we?

That was a very nice resolution. Well done. And an epilogue? Yes please

Great story. Would love an epilogue.

>>10122791012279

I did not watch that episode before getting the inspiration for this story. That is purely coincidence. And this is most certainly not a suspiciously specific denial... What makes you say that? OxO

>>10137001013700

I was drawing from my experience with my many twin cousins and my own honorary one (Same birthday, hospital, year and everything). They love lording it over their twin that they're older (Ha! I'm older! Take that honorary twin!), and by default, the one in charge. Even if they're only older by two minutes... Oi... They're annoying...

I made Daring the elder twin, by how much I'm not exactly sure, and she knows it. She's just not really annoying or condescending about it.

>>10156731015673

Sure thing. I don't mind. As long as isn't plagiarism, knock yourself out.

AWESOME! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A RAINBOW AND DARING ARE SISTERS! STORY!

Please make an epilogue! PLEASE!!!

I really hate to pry since this seems a little more personal, but do you know why Rainbow attacked you so suddenly?

This was a great idea. It's not like RD isn't already pissed and sitting right next to you. Is there anyone in the world that enjoys being talked about as if they're not in the room?

“First, let me get this out of the way. Rainbow Dash, I’m a little insulted that you haven’t told us this interesting bit of information.” She paid no heed to the flaring of Rainbow’s nostril. “I can’t seem to wrap my head around the apparent fact that you’re related to such a charming young mare when your current standing in that department could use…some…eh…work. Not to mention that you didn’t bother telling us about your troubles, darling. We could have helped.”

Yes Rarity, pour some gasoline on that raging bonfire--what could possibly go wrong?

you know, this ida actually works, i checked a pic of daring do. she really looks like dash o.o

but with the name, i would have put daring dash, and daring 'do' would be like the screenname or smth.

nevertheless, it's good, i'll see where this is going.

I can some what relate to this because I am a fraternal twin (younger by one minute) but I find that the back story more like my roommate that has a older brother rather than me and my brother.

Also if your planing a epilogue I must clue you in on twin dynamic. Me and my brother's way of telling each other we care about each other is I would say "please die in a fire" to which by brother would respond "only if you go first". we would mean nothing and say it with a joking smile of course. Twin dynamic consists of much of thees jibes ,small fights where no real punches are throne, and a surprisingly little amount of talking (which became evident when we went to College and we only had one 2 minute conversation a semester). But you may already know that since you said you have twin cousins.  

But over all I would feel the same way about me and my brother as Rainbow Dash and Daring Do do if this was to happen to us.

So you can say your fic is fraternal twin approved  

This kinda reminds me of Thanes loyalty mission from Mass Effect 2, kinda the same problem he had with his son Kolyat.

Aside from that, I just want to thank you for this greatly entertaining and moving story.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. The characters seem to grow, and it didn't pull down my belief suspenders.

That said, in places (many places) the dialogue seemed overly formal, or awkwardly worded. Not a huge deal, but when (not if) you write more, try reading out what the characters are saying, or listing to them say it in your head. That's the only thing that really took me out of the flow, though - I look forward to either a continuation/epilogue or your next work.

Ah...I had to go through SO much to find this. *Snuggles the fic*

BEAUTIFUL 5/5 spikes

and a rainbow for awesomeness

heck yes! very good. just read first chapter though have some yay's

This is an awesome story I will fav it

This made my heart smile...Thank you

Made me fav it, however i do wish there was more to it ( perhaps you could write a sequel?)

I LOVED your story ! Great job!

>>976821976821 can you help me? I cant uplode a chapter.

>>15847321584732

Upload a chapter onto a story of yours? I'm a tad confused.

EPILOGUE NOW

Epilogue?

AAAAAAAAAAAAA YES AAAAAAAAAAPEPPERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ŸEÈÉÊËĒĖĘŻ

Well done, sir.  Well done.

I like this story, so here. Have an epic Rainbow dash and an epic Daring Do.

Image: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/074/5/7/daring_do_by_secret_pony-d4styl1.png

Image: http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/043/f/7/rainbow_dash_by_secret_pony-d4p8ipz.png

It actually hit me right in the feels . This was so awesome. I rate it a 10/10.

This is great but could someone tell me of more like it.

This is so good my brain hurts and I'll need.....   MOAR!!!

*Read comment from previous chapter*