• Published 8th Dec 2011
  • 11,089 Views, 201 Comments

Aitran - CTVulpin



Twilight and Rainbow visit a pony version of Myst

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Chapter 14

Back in Equestria…

The cucumbers lay forgotten on the floor as Spike grasped the book in his shaking claws. He watched in dumbfounded silence as Twilight and Rainbow picked themselves up off the ground, filling the rectangular picture on the page. “Ow,” Twilight said as Dash whapped her upside the head, “what was that for?”

“You came in after me!” the pegasus exclaimed.

“Well I couldn’t just leave you in… well, here, alone” Twilight said as she looked around.

“Twilight,” Spike said weakly, finally find his voice, “Rainbow. Can you hear me?” The two ponies carried on their conversation, unaware of the purple baby dragon looking at them through a book. Spike’s mind was on the verge of collapse as he gripped the book tighter, willing the ponies in the picture to see and speak to him. He’d seen and even taken part in some strange things since moving to Ponyville with Twilight, but this was beyond even his admittedly wild imagination. Who would’ve thought there was a book out there you could literally lose yourself in?

“I’ll go take a look around,” Rainbow was saying when Spike’s attention went back to the book. She flew out of the frame and Twilight began trotting away down the dock.

“Don’t go,” Spike begged as Twilight climbed the steps in the distance and soon disappeared from sight. He gave the book a vigorous shake, demanding, “Change the picture! Follow Twilight! C’moooon…” The book paid no heed to his begging, the picture remaining resolutely immobile. Spike sat down and let the book slide out of his hands and onto the floor. He remained in that dejected position for a moment, and then gave the book a hard glare. He started to reach a hand to it, intending to follow Twilight, but then stopped as her last instructions to him came to mind. Wait an hour and then go give the book to Princess Celestia. No dragonfire.

“All right Twilight,” he said, closing the book and picking it up as he got back on his feet, “I’ll get this to the Princess, but I’m not waiting.” He started to turn around when a string of knocks sounded at the door. “Uh, come in,” he said. The door opened quickly but in a controlled manner under the influence of unicorn magic and Spike’s jaw dropped as he saw Rarity step into the library, her gait firm and determined, her eyes hard as flint, and her normally pristine white coat now a solid grape-purple color. Spike didn’t know whether to laugh or take pity on her.

“Hello Spike,” Rarity said with forced calm, “You haven’t seen Rainbow Dash lately, have you?”

“Uh,” the dragon said, his eyes tracking down to the book in his hands.


It was a good day for holding court in Princess Celestia’s opinion. The usual wave of sycophantic upper-class unicorns was at a low point thanks to Fancy Pants and Blueblood’s excellent show of repartee at the latest big social event, freeing up the open-court schedule for more “common” petitioners. There was always more variety in the requests and reports from outside of Canterlot, and for an immortal alicorn variety truly was the spice of life. She had just finished mediating a compromise between a pair of merchants from Hoofington regarding the definition of the word “sandwich” when one merchant had laid claim to exclusive sandwich-selling rights in the town. The other was offering a line of wraps and had maintained that they were different enough to get around the exclusivity rule. After hearing both sides, Celestia had suggested the pair form a partnership and benefit from one another’s skills. She made a mental note to find an excuse to sneak down to Hoofington and try the wraps someday.

She was about to call for the next supplicant when a sparkling wisp of smoke flew in through a nearby window and gathered in front of her before transforming into a scroll tied with a red ribbon. My, this is quite early for a friendship report, she thought as she grabbed and opened the scroll in her magic, Twilight must have quite the… morning. She blinked and re-read the letter twice to make sure she hadn’t misunderstood anything. She stood up from the throne, glanced out the window to the sun, and the bit her lip and slowly sat back down. “Only one more for today,” she said to her seneschal, “An urgent matter has just come up that I must attend to when the next train from Ponyville arrives.” She pointed at one of the guards standing by the doors and said, “Awaken my sister and tell her to meet me in the foyer in half an hour.”

“Yes your highness,” the pegasus said, snapping a salute with a wing before heading out of the room.

Celestia took a deep breath and flexed her wings in an attempt to calm her nerves. “Send in the next supplicant,” she announced, “and warn them not to mince words.” So many have traveled a long distance to speak with me, she rationalized to herself, I should strive to inconvenience as few of them as possible.


Precisely half an hour later, Princess Luna walked down the stairs onto the main landing of the grand staircase in the castle foyer. Her eyes were half-closed, her silver shoes were missing, and she was wearing a periwinkle night cap with little moons on it instead of her crown in defiance of being called from her bed. Her sister, standing tall, proud, and as bright and alert as the celestial object she governed, cast a sideways glance at her as she came to a stop a few feet away. “For what purpose have you interrupted my sleep dearest sister,” Luna said flatly, not even making it a question.

“You remember Star Swirl the Bearded, correct?” Celestia asked.

“Yes,” Luna said, raising her head slightly, “why?”

“Something of his has… emerged,” Celestia said, “It is something from after the Nightmare took you, but I thought you would be interested in it. Twilight Sparkle has become caught up in it, as has Rainbow Dash.”

“Caught up how?” Luna asked, quirking an eyebrow. The sound of hooves approaching from outside drew both princess’s attention.

“You’re about to find out,” Celestia said simply as the doors opened and four ponies galloped in: an orange earth pony wearing a stetson hat, a pink earth pony who was looking less bouncy than usual, a yellow pegasus with long pink mane, and unicorn whose white coat showed the faintest hints of purple. A purple and green baby dragon rode on Applejack’s back, an old book clutched protectively against his chest. “Rise,” Celestia said as the group came to a stop and started to bow, and then fixed her gaze on Spike. “Is that the book?” she asked.

“Y-yeah,” Spike said.

“Good,” Celestia said with a curt nod, “come with me, all of you.”

“I do not understand Celestia,” Luna said as she fell in behind the elder alicorn, “Thou said Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash were involved in this. I see here every one of the Elements of Harmony except those two. Where are Twilight and Rainbow Dash?”

“They’re in the book,” Celestia said, “We need to get them out. First, however, we need to figure out how.” The ponies following her started to ask questions, but when she refused to respond they quickly fell silent, exchanging nervous glances. Celestia led them into the throne room, which had been cleared of all but a pair of guards by the door. She came to a stop at the foot of the dais, turned around, and took the book from Spike. “How many of you know anything about an ancient pony named Star Swirl the Bearded?” she asked. Spike and Luna raised a hand and hoof, respectively, as the four little ponies exchanged a look.

“Ain’t he mentioned in the Hearth’s Warmin’ Pageant?” Applejack asked, “Told Clover the Clever ‘bout the Windigos?”

“Twilight’s Nightmare Night costume was Star Swirl,” Rarity said, “I remember all those bells on the hem…”

“He was a very influential scholar and mage during the tumultuous days surrounding Equestria’s founding,” Luna said, “his work laid the foundations for many schools of magic, and was… prominent up to when I became overwhelmed with jealousy.”

“Thank you Luna,” Celestia said, “that is a very good summation. He didn’t cease to be important after your banishment of course; in fact, he continued to explore and experiment with magic. Eventually he stumbled upon something beyond even the wildest of imaginations: the ability to travel to other places, entirely different realities, by writing about them in specially designed books. Had he been any other pony alive at that time, I would have forbidden him from pursuing that power, for there seemed to be almost no limits to what these other worlds could contain.”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said, “that sounds dangerous.”

“Sounds like fun to me,” Pinkie Pie declared, “Imagine, a world with giant cupcakes and chocolate rain! That would be the greatest place ever!” Celestia watched with bemusement until Applejack gave her fellow earth pony a firm poke in the side a disapproving look.

“Star Swirl was quite responsible with his explorations,” the Princess continued, “but early on he encountered another being who had also discovered the secret of traveling between realities, one who was far less considerate of others and extremely proud in his ability. For the sake of Equestria, and for the many other worlds he had discovered, Star Swirl decided to leave our world and cut all his ties to it. All who knew about his travels were sworn to secrecy or left with him, and he took all of his teleporting books and the notes regarding them with him. All that was left was the book he used to take his final leave, which I personally sealed inside the memorial erected to him. But it would seem that seal has been circumvented, for Twilight and Rainbow have been taken into the world Star Swirl chose as his sanctuary.”

“Uh, that maaay not be the same book you locked up Princess,” Pinkie said, holding up a hoof for attention.

“What do you mean Pinkie Pie?” Princess Luna asked, giving her a curious glance.

“Well,” Pinkie explained, “On the train ride here I talked Spike into letting me look at the book…”

“You kept talking until I gave in,” the dragon muttered darkly.

“And I noticed a little note inside the cover,” the energetic pony continued without missing a beat, “saying that that book is a copy of the original.”

Celestia opened the book and found the note. She read it and then peered at Pinkie over the top of the tome. “This is written in an archaic form of Equestrian,” she said, “I didn’t know you were a student of old languages.”

“Oh, I’m not,” Pinkie said, smiling. Everypony stared at her, dumbstruck for a moment.

“Ah,” AJ said at last with a nervous laugh, “That’s Pinkie Pie fer ya. Always full of surprises.”

“Indeed,” Celestia said slowly, closing the book while keeping her eyes on the seemingly oblivious Pinkie Pie.

“Pardon me sister,” Luna said, “but what, precisely, dost thou intend to do about this? And must I truly be here?”

“We,” Celestia said, fixing her dark-toned sister with a determined stare, “are going to go through this book letter by letter while I search my memory for any clues to a method of contacting or retrieving our two lost ponies. You,” he gaze shifted to the four mares and Spike, her eyes softening with compassion, “will do your best not to worry. Try to find something in the city to distract your minds from this. I will send word when Luna and I have finished, by sunset at the latest. Go on,” she added when the group shuffled their feet and exchanged unsure looks.

“Yes,” Rarity said at last, turning away, “Come on girls, Spike, let’s get out of the Princess’s manes. Maybe… if we’re lucky we can find Fancy Pants hosting… something…”

“We could go to the donut shop,” Spike suggested.

“Oh, I like that idea,” Pinkie said, barely able to put some enthusiasm into her voice. Applejack and Fluttershy nodded in silent agreement of nothing particular and the five made their way out of the throne room. Celestia and Luna watched them in silence until the doors closed, and then Celestia allowed the weight of the situation show, lowering her head and letting some slouch into her posture.

“Come along Luna,” she said, “We may as well go somewhere more comfortable to do this.”

“You do not hold much hope for our success,” her sister said as she fell into step alongside the elder alicorn. She leaned against Celestia’s side and spread a wing over her back.

“I fear it will take a miracle to get them back,” Celestia admitted sadly as the sisters exited the throne room. The impassive door guards, utterly forgotten in their perfectly professional poise and silence, shared a concerned look as soon as the doors closed.


Aitran

“I’m back,” Twilight called as she trotted into the library. She looked around the octagonal room and then addressed the sole other occupant, “Where’s Star Swirl?”

“I dunno,” Rainbow said with a shrug, “He stepped out just after you did and told me to wait right here until he got back.” She was currently sitting in the exact center of the library, where an octagon broke up the normally straight-running boards of the flooring.

“I wonder what he’s up to?” Twilight wondered.

“So long as it gets us back to Equestria,” the cyan pegasus said, “I don’t- whoa!” She gave a start as a muffled horn sound came from below her hooves and the octagon started to rise from the floor. Rainbow rocked from side to side for a second before hopping off what was being revealed as an octagonal pillar of wood with a shelf carved into the side facing the library exit. A thick, dusty tome sat in in the shelf, its pearly-white cover reinforced by bronze on the corners and spine. “He did that on purpose,” Rainbow said grumpily, giving the short pillar a flat look, “That was… actually a pretty good prank for an old guy.”

“Confuse old age and grey hairs for addled wits at your peril, young pegasus,” Star Swirl said from behind the pair. They glanced back and moved aside as he approached the pillar and blew the dust off the book before reverently opening it. “I never told anypony about this particular book, not even Clover,” he said, “Even with our great foe trapped on another world, she would have thought the risk too great, especially considering where it will deposit you. Here is your way home my new friends, and thank you…” He trailed off and leaned an ear closer to the book, eyes narrowing as he listened to something. “Oh,” he said, turning his full gaze upon the linking panel, “That won’t do. Come on you two; we need to make a dramatic entrance.”


Equestria

Princess Celestia was coaxing the sun below the horizon when the quintet from Ponyville returned to the throne room. Their hope-filled eyes going first to the solar princess and then to Princess Luna, who was sitting on the throne in her full regalia with her eyes closed. Celestia’s horn dimmed as the sun’s light faded from the sky and Luna’s brightened as the moon rose quickly into its place and the stars twinkled into view. With the ceremony completed, Celestia turned her head and walked toward the group, her downcast expression telling them everything without her having to say a word.

“Say it ain’t what I think it is Princess,” Applejack pleaded, speaking for the entire circle of friends.

“We have had no luck,” Celestia said glumly, “But. We musn’t lose hope yet. If this book,” she pulled Aitran out from beneath her wing, “is not the original, perhaps the original version will contain some hidden message or clue that was not transmitted to this one.”

“Celestia,” Luna said, shocked, “You gave thy solemn oath that that book would remain undisturbed in Star Swirl’s false tomb. Would you truly violate that oath for the sake of such a…” she searched for a good phrase, settling on, “long shot?”

“For the sake of my beloved and most faithful student and her friend, yes,” Celestia said with an unwavering determination in her eyes, “For keeping the Elements of Harmony united, and for the sake of Equestria!” She took one resolute step toward the doors, her wings flaring upward, and then froze as a low buzzing sound filled the air and a grey unicorn with a long beard and bell-hemmed blue robes and an equally bell-studded wizard hat materialized in the middle of the throne room. He was quickly joined by a lavender unicorn mare and a rainbow-maned cyan pegasus.

“That,” Star Swirl the Bearded said with a curt snap of his head to look up into Celestia’s wide, unbelieving eyes, “will not be necessary Your Highness.” He glanced behind himself briefly and nodded when he saw Twilight and Rainbow before returning his gaze to the Princess. “Your students are quite capable of taking care of themselves,” he finished with a knowing smile. The silence that followed was absolute; even Pinkie Pie’s knack for reacting quickly to surprises was dulled by the quiet but undoubtedly dramatic entrance of the two lost ponies and their companion.

“My eyes,” Luna said at last, “they must be playing tricks on me. Methinks I see…”

“Dear Princess Luna,” Star Swirl said, beaming at the Moon Princess, “I can’t tell you how much good it does me to see you again, hale, hearty, and of sound mind once more.”

“Hey girls,” Twilight said, smiling broadly as she waved to her stunned friends, “how are you doing?” That broke the spell, and the two returned adventurers quickly found themselves in the center of a group hug and being peppered with questions from every angle.

“Ok, ok,” Rainbow said, laughing as she tried to simultaneously hug everypony and push them back for some breathing room, “We’re awesome, I know, but you’ll have to back off if you want to know just how awesome.”

“Star Swirl the Bearded,” Celestia said, touching the grey unicorn on the shoulder as if seeing if he was really there, “You look like you’ve barely aged a month, if that. How is this possible?”

“The short answer is that I cheated,” Star Swirl said mischievously. He took the Princess’s hoof with his own and bowed over it. “The more detailed answer is that my ability to dictate the characteristics of the realties I’ve sought to connect to is truly beyond anything I have ever seen. Aitran Island, and many other worlds to varying degrees, is a place where time all but stands still for a pony. Growth and aging happen so slowly there compared to here that it was not until Twilight Sparkle came upon me that I realized that by all rights I should have been in a real tomb ages ago.”

“Oh dear,” Twilight said, catching his last statement as the group-hug broke up, “You’re not going to…”

“I highly doubt it,” Star Swirl said with a reassuring wave of his hoof, “I’d have keeled over by now if that were the case. My body might still be working on Aitran time right now. If so, it would take some time for, well, time to catch up with me.” Twilight sighed in relief as Star Swirl gave her a grin. The grin faded quickly as he looked back at Celestia and Luna, who had come over to join her sister. “As pleased as I am to have seen you both, your majesties,” he said, “I must take my leave and return to Aitran posthaste. Two… very important ponies to me are in great danger and I must see to their rescue.” Celestia nodded her understanding and floated the Aitran book over to him. The book opened to the final page and Star Swirl started to reach a hoof toward the linking panel. At the last second he stopped and looked over to Twilight and Rainbow. “Farewell my friends,” he said, “I’ll keep the Equestria book unlocked should you ever desire to visit Aitran. I doubt I’ll have time to spend with you for quite a while though. And… I might have need of your assistance at some point. Again, farewell.”

“Farewell Star Swirl,” Twilight called out as the bearded unicorn touched the panel and faded from sight.

“Bye,” Rainbow said quietly, a second too late. She perked right back up and looked around at her friends with her usual smug smile. “So,” she said, “who wants to hear about me and Twilight’s crazy world-hopping adventure?”

“Me! Me!” Pinkie exclaimed, hopping up and down eagerly.

“I would as well,” Rarity said, drawing up uncomfortably close to the pegasus’s side with a charming shimmer in her eyes. A trace of ice entered those eyes and her voice as she leaned more heavily against Rainbow and added, “How about you tell it over a full, special spa treatment? I’ve got the perfect bath additives in mind for you.”


Dear Princess Celestia,
I know you are still waiting for the full report of my and Rainbow Dash’s adventure on Aitran. I might need to send it to you in parts, because we’re only about a third of the way through and Spike claw is getting cramped from writing all of it. While he’s resting, I’ve decided to report on what I’ve learned about friendship.
Isolation can cause serious harm to a pony’s mind, and even being left alone for a short time in an unfamiliar place can lead to despair. There was a point early in our adventure when an equipment malfunction prevented me from joining Rainbow Dash in exploring one of the other realities linked to Aitran and until she returned, I~~--~
Rainbow Dash here. Yeah, Twilight was happy to see me when I escaped that place, but that’s nothing compared to what I felt! I not only had to contend with a thick fog that wouldn’t go away on the surface, I had to go deep underground, alone, and try to figure out how to drive a cramped, clunky machine through a dark mine using random sounds for direction.
The point is, it felt like it took FOREVER to figure out what I was supposed to do and I was always on the edge of breaking down and giving up. Only the thought of getting back to Twilight, and from there to getting home, gave me the resolve to go the distance. Even when they’re not right there with us, friends can be a great source of strength.
I don’t think I could say it better than that, so I’ll just close.

Your students,

Twilight Sparkle

Rainbow Dash

Comments ( 70 )

And thus closes the first chapter in the tale.

...But as with all myst books, the story never truly ends.


:)

Methinks Dash is in a bit of trouble there, and as The Magister says, Myst is a Neverending Story. I for one am looking forward to seeing how the MLP version of Riven goes, along with the other trio of mainline games when their turns come up.

"...in Books, and Ages, and life, the ending can never truly be written."

Great adaptation. Lots of fun stuff. A wonderful and interesting adventure all around. :twilightsmile:

Well that was pretty great fun.

I vote for the villain name to be "Ringo". :facehoof:

247233
No, the Neverending Story is an entirely different 'get trapped in a magical book' scenario.

Hmm... Copy 7.... Where are the other six?!?!?!?!?! :pinkiegasp:

247823
And that assumes that there's only seven copies... :pinkiecrazy:

there needs to be a sequel to this where Star Swirl comes back and needs the Elements to defeat his old foe:twilightsmile:

247823
Well, let's see... The original copy is sealed in Star Swirl's "tomb" in Equestria. That's one. There's a copy in each of the four worlds Twilight and Rainbow visited. That makes five in all. And then there's the one in Star Swirl's study-world. Six :pinkiehappy:
BUT... 247950 has a point. Star Swirl visited many other worlds and most had a link back to Aitran, requiring one book each. They're all accounted for. I think. :moustache:

247823

There is one in Star Swirl's tomb, one was with him in his Age in the green book, and one was in each of the four Ages Twilight and Rainbow visited on Aitran. Not to mention that there could be more on many Ages, as each of the Ages that Cirrus and Archeon destroyed from the Aitran library had one, and possibly other Ages as well. Also, am I the only one who realized that Star Swirl married Clover the Clever?

248704>>248835

Dammit, I really should hit refresh before writing a comment right after reading the chapter. Especially when I have to leave it for a while to do some chores.

Aaaaaand... it's done! I was thrilled to learn that someone had crossed ponies with my favorite game series ever, and overall, I was not disappointed. After this two-month-long ride, I think you deserve an in-depth review, so I shall give you one!

I'll start with how you adapted Myst to fit ponies. For the most part, this was done well; you did a good job of keeping the story of Myst intact. I like how you had Starswirl take the place of Atrus and Clover the Clever (I assume that's supposed to be her, anyway) of Catherine. Being able to adapt your source material in a crossover without ruining it is a powerful skill. One thing that confused me were the "frogaloids", as Dash calls them, from Forestsea. Channelwood in Myst is abandoned, and the addition of sentient beings other than the two brothers and Starswirl/Atrus feels out of place, and slightly ruins the experience for me. What was the point of them, other than perhaps to speed up Twilight and Dash's journey through the Age? Once we're finished with them, they're never seen again, leaving me wondering what will happen to their race and so on. It seems to add an unnecessary (and, frankly, boring) loose end that's never tied up.

Pacing was also an issue in some places for me. The first few chapters in which Twilight discovers the book and the two get trapped in Aitran were great, up until Dash's journey in Selentic (Ch 5). This was very boring, as it ended up being mostly a walkthrough of the actual Myst age from Dash's perspective with occasional, and mainly insubstantial, commentary from her. I want to know how she feels exploring Aitran – how it affects her, changes her view on things, and so on. In some cases, I was glad that you skipped over parts of the game that are more tedious than others, like the maze in Selentic, but still showed how Dash felt during it when she talks to Twilight later.

I also feel that Dash acts a bit out-of-character in Selentic. Myst can be a very difficult game, but she pretty much blasts through the age without any serious problems. I would have loved to see her get stuck on a puzzle, and see how she reacts, in frustration and growing fear, when she has no idea how to continue. Testing Dash's loyalty (to Twilight, in this case) is a great way to explore her personality and develop her character. This also applies throughout the story; there's never a point when the ponies truly get stuck on anything. I understand you don't want to draw out the story by having them spend five chapters trying to figure out where on Aitran the last page is because they missed the torn note, like I stupidly did my first time playing Myst, but for nearly every mystery to be solved a couple paragraphs later? You miss an opportunity for interesting character interaction/development.

Speaking of character interaction, I was super happy that you picked Twilight and Dash to fill the role of the Stranger, because they're my two favorite ponies, and they can have a fascinating back-and-forth because their personalities are so different but still compatible. I was slightly underwhelmed when their relationship wasn't explored that much in the story, their interaction mostly limited to helping each other solve puzzles. I mean, the two just underwent a very stressful adventure in each other's company, but I don't learn anything about how it affects their friendship. Do they grow closer because of this? Putting a small group of people alone for an extended period of time does crazy things to their mentalities; you see this in astronauts who spend time in space with a handful of others. Not saying you have to ship them or anything (although I do like TwiDash), but it made the story disappointing in places. Hopefully this is something you'll explore later on.

There were relatively few grammatical errors, most of them appearing later on. It was noticeable (to me, but I have OCD when it comes to grammar :twilightsheepish:), but nothing serious, so I applaud you for that. Also, forgive me if I got some of your story's details wrong; it's been a while since I've read the earlier chapters.

And that's all I have to say! Apologies for the wall of text. I had a lot of fun reading your story, and you even got me to break out my old 1999 iMac to play Myst as I followed Twilight and Dash's adventures. Definitely looking forward to more work from you, especially your adaption of Riven, which is my favorite game in the Myst series. Let's hope you do an even more awesome job next time!

A SATISFYING CONCLUSION INDEED

249377
Thank you for that. Now, here's my response:

> "This was very boring, as it ended up being mostly a walkthrough of the actual Myst age from Dash's perspective with occasional, and mainly insubstantial, commentary from her."
Trust me, :ajbemused: I had about as much fun writing that chapter as you had reading it. I doubt adding Twilight to the scene would have improved matters. I just wanted to get the Selenitic out of the way, and I also determined that i would never again separate the two ponies for very long.

> Re: the ease of puzzle solution
You have a good point, but I wanted this story to be a bit more about Twilight and Rainbow's moral dilemma of choosing between Cirrus and Archeon and the mounting evidence that neither was a safe bet. Besides, I personally think the part of the Selenitic I showed is a rather intuitive puzzle. Her experience with the underground maze could've been far more entertaining but :ajsleepy: I was sick and tired of that dumb place and had no desire to try and write that part.

> "I was slightly underwhelmed when their relationship wasn't explored that much in the story, their interaction mostly limited to helping each other solve puzzles."
I'll try and do better in the next story :twilightblush: That said, they were pretty focused on getting home from the get-go. I could have changed the focus of the last chapter to a reflection on what Twi and Dash had gone through together, or...
Y'know what? I'll see if I can't tack on some sort of Friendship Report to the end of chapter 14.

248835
I see how you could be confused, but the Clover mentioned in this story is NOT Clover the Clever from the Hearth's Warming pageant. :derpytongue2:
It's just a happy coincidence. :twilightsheepish:

:unsuresweetie: Ok, perhaps not so much. Her name was originally Raven, but I came to dislike that as a pony name, so I switched it up.
Sorry to have misled you :fluttershysad:

And so the first book closes. Looking forward to any potential sequels. I could definitely see Fluttershy being way out of her depth in the Aitran equivalent of Exile.

There is however one unsolved mystery. This is My Little Pony... so what was in the wooden box, in Archeon's secret room, on the equivalent of Mechanical?

And with the first chapter of the Aitran series coming to a close, I have one final thing to say...:yay:

252196 I think he wanted to skip that because...well, I don't want to spoil anything.

A story based off of Myst? :yay:

I loved watching my brother play it when i was 5. I could never beat it myself, even now.
I can't wait to see how you incorporated the puzzles into the story. (I haven't read it yet)

Wait a sec, this is based off a video game? Dude, I would totally play this, it sounds awesome.

Sequel?:rainbowderp:
Maybe?

wow, myst crossover??
I'm going to break my rule of not reading crossovers...

You sir, are a Genius. My friends make fun of me for liking it, but dammit, I LOVE MYST.

And Ponies too!

Any criticism has already bee said, so I'll just leave it here.

-Delta-

Fantastic job integrating Myst into ponies...
Absolutely fantastic job.
But the story never ends, and I wonder what else Star Swirl the Bearded will discover now that he's essentially immune to the ravages of time.
Here's me finishing this at 1 in the morning, definitely worth the 3 hours or so I should have been sleeping.
Kudos!

HAH, brick joke with Rarity, awesome.

Very awesome work man, as a fan of Myst, I give my hearty thumbs-up of approval :ajsmug:

Also, great ending, ties very nicely to the show feel.

I have finished reading your story, and I just wanted to say that this story alone made me more nostalgic than I have been for years (I remember how much fun it was to tackle this game with my family when I was little and finally beat it) and on top of that I love how you merged it so seamlessly with the MLP universe.

After reading it I was like: "Okay bless Equestria Daily for leading me to this singular work of art" and then I saw that you'd made a sequel. :yay:!!!!

I cannot wait until the Riven arc is completed and you move to Exile and Uru (I can't remember riven very well :fluttercry:) and I will be waiting anxiously for further chapters. Thank you for writing this and it's related stories... in all honesty, you brought me to this site.

I love three things about this after reading just the description and looking at the story status-

1. Twilight!!!!!:twilightsmile:
2. Completed Story
3. Not Part of a Series (which I usually end up having to guess the order of...)

So, yeah. You already got me excited about this story!:yay:

An amazing tale. Me GUSTA.

This story was amazing!:pinkiehappy: Now I need to play Riven so I can read the sequel. :rainbowkiss:

Not too bad. I'm a HUGE Myst fan, and as such, I've grown tired of the glorified walkthroughs that sometimes try to pass themselves off as fanfiction. You've certainly got more original content than most of those other "stories", and it was a fun read, but I still inwardly cringed a bit at the puzzle-solving sections and tended to skim over them.

I'll go start on Sohndar now, but I'd just like to use an old D'ni proverb to give you some advice: "The reader is entertained by the journey of another, but the writer is the changer of worlds." In other words, the more original content you put in and the less you rely on the games to fill the chapters, the better your story will be. Just think of how much more interesting Selentic would have been if you had decided to take some...artistic license with it.

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I think you could've just hit the "reverse" button repeatedly until it returned you to the start. :applejackunsure: Of course, I never had to backtrack more than one step due to making a mistake with identifying the combo-sounds, so... *ponyshrug*

Well, I promised I'd be back and it's been, wait, what? Over two weeks! That's far too long to go without stroking the ego of my favorite underappreciated author. Time for another long winded ramble.

This story has gotten plenty of feedback already, but I figured I'd take a break from mounting praise atop the Order-naries series for a bit and comment on my most recent read from this library instead, not counting the still in progress Summer Sun, Dawning Chaos. So then, Aitran. I won't lie, this was not one of my favorites, and having never played the game it references probably doesn't help, however, the fact that I very much enjoyed it anyway speaks volumes of its own.

The pacing is very slow, arduous at times, but I know enough about the source material to not blame that on the author. Myst is just one of those notorious games in that respect, so the fact that here what could arguably be said to be little more than a glorified walkthrough is even remotely compelling is quite impressive. Reading this even tempted me to try playing the game. I think I even have an old copy form an adventure games anthology collection around the house somewhere. Probably won't get around to it anytime soon though, got a few too many more recent games on my to-play list.

So what did I like about this story? The characters. The dynamic interplay between Twilight and Dash as they try to find their way around the world they've become trapped in is simply a joy to read. 55,000+ words with mostly only two characters is something of a minimalist approach in storytelling, but can make for some richly deep analysis of those characters. Beyond that the way they go about the process of figuring their way past all the puzzles they face and their thoughts throughout is just perfect. It all manages to quite accurately capture that sense of trial and error exploration found in classic adventure games. Reading this story gave me flash backs to my childhood and playing the King's/Space Quest series with my father.

I also enjoyed the mystery of Starswirl's trapped students; trying to figure out which to trust, oscillating in that choice as evidence mounted, until finally it became all too obvious that the answer was neither, then we meet the bearded one himself and all is made clear. I do however kinda wish there had been two alternate mini-endings where Twilight and Rainbow make the mistake of freeing each of the students.

Well that's my thoughts on Aitran. It has its flaws, but the good parts more than make up for it all in the end, and possibly help it shine all the brighter for the trouble. I haven't moved onto Sohndar yet, and with it possibly going on hiatus I'll probably hold off on it a bit longer.

Loved the game. And i love the fan-fic.:pinkiehappy:

Enjoying it so far. Still got 20 odd pages to go but my ereader's battery just ran out.

Never played myst before so had a look on steam to see how much it is. Steam sale: Cyan complete pack deal going for £9.99.... very tempted.

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I know that plot! It's [color=transparent]Myst. I've not seen one of these before...

Found this recently. Dunno how... just like that I suppose. Then I was like: Hmm... never played Myst, but let's give it a try... after reading chapter... four? Yes, four: Dang it, this sound like a great game. Let's give it a try.
I go buy it, download it, and start playing. 4-5 hours later (lost an hour or two due to me being stupid and not saving frequent enough and the game having stupid bugs and crashing for no apparent reason... Note to self: should have bought RealMyst instead of Masterpiece Edition, could be less buggy... oh well, I wanted to buy both and compare the differences.): Done, great game. Let's get to this story again. Ohhhh, changes. Cool. Though I still can see where they are. Ohhh, ending! Great! The ending I mean, it's sad that the story is over.
Reading comments... Wait, those puzzles were supposed to be difficult?:rainbowhuh:Wait, am I better at puzzle games than I ever thought?:rainbowderp: Okay, time to go and look for good puzzle games and check!
Thank you for adding yet another way of wasting time to my schedule... puzzle games!
Will buy sequel of Myst ASAIGotTheMoney.:twilightsheepish:
Keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

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I am also sometimes amazed that people found Myst difficult. One thing that helps is realizing that each Age is basically one big puzzle (or two in Selenitic's case) with the goal of finding and reaching the exit book. The only puzzle that gives me pause is getting to the Selenitic Age book, and that's more due to interface difficulty than mental stretching.
Riven is harder because the the most important puzzles don't have intuitive solutions, the clues won't seem like clues at first, and the puzzles themselves are in out-of-the-way locations.

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Ohhhh, a challenge then?
Still, out of money for now... Darn for not having dollars as a currency...
I assume that the sequel of the story is based of the sequel of the game?:rainbowwild:
Will wait, will wait...

I got a lot to say, and I wish I didn't have to work mostly from memory.

First problem, it followed Myst way too closely. I think there was some opportunity for some real creativity here, but it was wasted, just a bit. This is just Myst, with ponies. If it were me (and it's obviously not) I would have taken the initial concept only. Actually, I would have made the Stranger a pony.

OOO! Aitrus writes a new age called Equestria, do I need to explain it from there?

Early thoughts: I assume time doesn't flow in the Illusions when no one is there, since they're illusions. Quantum mechanics and such.

*near the end of chapter three* Okay, I'm thick, I just realized what 'Illusion' means. It's the stand-in term for Age. I really got into it at this point!!!

I think you missed a grand opportunity with the generators. It would have been nice to see Twilight screw up and trip the breaker. Then have to climb back out and ask Rainbow to throw it again.

The linking book to Selenitic was on a display. The story goes that the book was damaged, and had to be held together with machinery. Like a cyborg book. You should have rolled with that! Though I'm glad you're throwing a few twists in there.

Chapter Five: "'Ah well, moving on!'"

This line felt way too casual and way too much of a dramatic shift. She should have just sombrely trotted away without a word.

For Stoneship, or whatever you called it, I'm a little pissed Twilight solved the compass puzzle through random luck. It really does bug me. Though I have to say it's one of those puzzles that you'd only get if you read a walkthrough. It's quite obscure, I'm still not sure how one's supposed to figure it out.

So you decided to make it clear the Channelwood natives weren't killed by the evil pricks. Not sure I like that. Though it's an interesting twist, as they have a guide this time.

Twilight mentions that a time-lock wouldn't protect the land from the elements...actually that's exactly what it would do. If time don't pass, nothing changes.

Not sure I like the ending. I think it would have been better if they remained on Aitran instead. That way Sohndar, like Riven, would have the big climax of Twilight and Rainbow returning home.

Oh, how do they ease the fears of Celestia? By putting a sign in front of the linking panel telling Celestia and the others not to worry, that they found a way out, it'll just take time, and don't follow them.

So, no Rime eh?

Oh, and where does the whole 'there's no sun on Aitran' thing come from? I'm pretty sure in Myst...or realMyst at least, there was a sun! There was a day-night cycle in realMyst too! WTF!? Also, where did those living quarters come from?

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You play the sequels yet?

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I'm ashamed to admit, I used walkthroughs when I played Myst, and it's sequels including Uru. I think I completed much of 4 and 5 without, but I didn't go pure. Which I wish I did.

Wait...the second journey in MOUL, I did figure out without help...I think. But it's a team effort to complete.

And...huh...I just remembered, I blogged all about this: Shameless plug Useful website.

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Sorry for catching it just now... kinda slipped my view in notifications...:twilightblush:
And no, I didn't. Though I plan to buy it soon now that I have a little cash on me. Maybe even this weekend. We'll see. Why do you ask?

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Oh, just curious. Let me offer you some advice. Don't read this story until you do, and don't look up any walkthroughs. I did and I regret it.

The entire franchise is a bit of a mess now, with the retcons they've implemented, which I hate. But one could lawyer out the retcons and ignore word-of-god, and the stories become a lot more solid.

I like whan CTVulpin did here regarding that. It works.

What was I getting at? Oh, yeah, Riven's probably the best, but I think the third one dropped the ball, and the fifth faceplanted, and the fourth is great. But I was wondering what your views might be.

And here I am thinking that nobody remembers "Myst":rainbowkiss:

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For Stoneship, or whatever you called it, I'm a little pissed Twilight solved the compass puzzle through random luck. It really does bug me. Though I have to say it's one of those puzzles that you'd only get if you read a walkthrough. It's quite obscure, I'm still not sure how one's supposed to figure it out.

By the blinking light on the lighthouse seen through the telescope at 135.

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Well I knew that, but how are you supposed to know those two things are related? Why is the compass even there?

1825427 Isn't that a MYSTery? :raritywink::rainbowlaugh::derpytongue2:

1940005 Hahah and I was told the place would be free of lobotomy patients tonight...:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

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Tee Hee, very funny. Try saying that to someone with Autism...oh wait, you JUST DID.

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