Ehhh, grammar could use a little work. Also, you don't need that disclaimer; we all know you don't own MLP. No smilies please. Storywise, it's a strong start, and it has my interest.

>>967699967699...I have been writing on FanFiction for a while now... Its really a form of habit to add a disclaimer to me. And I'm still new here and thusly it took me a while to even figure out to how to even upload or even make this thing... I'm too used to writing it on Word then putting under my accounts files and then uploading it... That and Word would always tell me if I messed up in the grammar. The only reason why the spelling is good is because the internet browser shows me my spelling mistakes. An what smilies are you talking about?

Really? Thankies!!

>>967841967841 Specifically, the ~*~ one. Unnecessary, even if it wasn't a smiley. I actually do enjoy this story idea, though; Pinkie is enjoyably ADD, and is easily distracted constantly. Should be an interesting ship, should it work.

>>967889967889 FORCE. OF. HABIT!!!

this story is so AWESOME!

>>984584984584EEEEE!!!! Thank you!

I like the concept of this story, and I'm loving the way you're setting it up so far, but I am slightly concerned. I think you should get a proofreader, as there are some grammar and spelling mistakes in here that really disrupted the flow of the story. In addition, there are some phrases and sentences that definitely could have been worded better.

As I said, I really like where this story is going and would love to see it completed, but I think you could definitely do better as far as the English language goes.

Other than my little nitpicky things, I think it's a great concept for a story so far. Can't wait to see some more updates!

~Hipster Heartstrings out(Because improper usage of the English language is so mainstream. )

>>999824999824 Trust me your not the first one to comment on my horrid use of grammar and spelling... But where do I find I proofreader for this? No I mean it. I'm seriously asking. I'm still new here... especially in the whole "typing up" concept of the stories and junk... But I feel that there are a lot of phrases and ways people speak that wouldn't be considered "grammar smart". Really, I'm just trying to do the best with what little help is in my disposable.

>>999824999824 Trust me your not the first one to comment on my horrid use of grammar and spelling... But where do I find I proofreader for this? No I mean it. I'm seriously asking. I'm still new here... especially in the whole "typing up" concept of the stories and junk... But I feel that there are a lot of phrases and ways people speak that wouldn't be considered "grammar smart". Really, I'm just trying to do the best with what little help is in my disposable.

>>10017811001781 Well, if you know any people online who are "grammar smart", as you put it, then you could just ask your friends. I would be happy to lend a hand if necessary, though I warn you, I tend to have a lot going on at a given point in time. If you have skype, feel free to talk to me there. hipster.heartstrings

Otherwise, just ask around friends and such. You never know.

Believe me the grammar nazi I know would love to proof-read my writing... Unfortunately there really is no way for her to do so... Seeing as how she's usually busy with her life and I'm never really sure what plans I will ever have any day this summer. And even when we DO hang out, she can't come over to my house since she has an allergy to my cat. And I don't want to go to her house to update chapters... That's just makes me feel like a user. Besides, I know she likes to read FIM fiction, but I also know she hates writing them.

Besides I'm trying to read the Huckleberry Finn this summer for my honers English class.... *sigh* and believe me when I say that it makes my grammar sounds like I'm the grammar nazi. Seriously, just read the first page of that book and any other computer grammar sound legit.

dude continue this story!

its great so far!

i hope to they get together X3

but yeah hope to see another chap soon

Image: https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSJ9_JjovfIZnfUqYSZ4zfarIBmxMifTZEpAzeiQ0nWkVnNmm9__w

Image: https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTMwq7xN2CXbVSdW4CFBqF5m4JE_DfmAjgNdjyw2Eeo6I2xkzwAJA

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Dyb453LAPIo/TjlYS4T-AUI/AAAAAAAAABc/5V4rLTqYljI/s1600/CAT.gif

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m97ya6Jh8U1r99ppx.gif

I demand more masterpiece, PRONTO!

>>11859391185939 The cuteness... Oh I have to write more pronto.... Grrrr... But I have studies....

>>11888791188879  Thanks!

why...why have you stoped writing

>>13049581304958 I swear I'm working on it right now... I just have soooo much piled up on me.

Let's play one of my favorite games: The  "Guess the Villain game!!! Wooooo!!!

The game is simple, you have a total of three chances to guess who the "Dark Figure" is, and what their main objective is(besides the obvious). One three guesses per comment. And whoever gets the closest answer gets a prize of their choosing!!!

And I shall leave you all with this--->

And have fun!!!

the green horn gives it away lol

im going to say changling queen? if not then i wana see who it is!

and i hope Discord gets a happy ending! ^_^

>>13299331329933 Good guess and observation....

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2614-13281252154005.png

ok this villain is not one we know of (mabye), and he wants.....revenge!!!

yes i think i see it now he wants revenge for.....something

nevermind

>>13348761334876 Hmmmm Your actually close... But not exact... For one thing... Did I ever say what gender the villain was?

ok i got it this time it might be queen chrysalis or some other villan who likes dizzy, but he told her before he was in stone that he was feeling loney and to find him someone for him but that this mare had to be powerful enough to break his stone prison so she tried celestia but sadly they where too opposite and tia choose her subjects over him now the target is pinkie because she is one of the elements and without discord there would be no more happiness for her did i get close?

>>13403021340302 Holy... CRAP!!!! YOU DID GET IT CLOSE!!!!!

However there are some points in that guess that aren't true. But still.... Still to freaking close

So this villain is a she (maybe, but let's just call it a she), but not chrysalis, considering she has red eyes. She obviously wants discord to be free, and has perhaps has used a love spell on him (or someone else) while he wasn't turned to stone. She has sharp teeth, perhaps a changeling, she has a past with discord, and disassociates herself from the princesses by referring to them as "The Sun and The Moon" indicating she does not know them personally. She may like discord, but this is unlikely considering she is so readily using a love spell on him, unless, of course, if she plans to break the spell once he is free so that Pinkie would still not want to trap him. If that were true however, that would mean there was no point in putting him under the spell in the first place. Back to the previous use of the love spell, she may have used it to make him love either her or another, but it did not work and had negative effects. I cannot tell why exactly "she" would want him free, only that it is for personal reasons. It is, however, clear that she is hooking him up with some pony powerful enough to set him free.

>>16355041635504 Actually one the account of the villain's gener... That was a slip up on my part... Technecaly the villain isn't even supoosed to have any real gender. I do plan on fixing that mistake in the end though. However you do have some nice obervations... But no the villain doesn't have any feelings for Discord that way.

>>16383761638376

Yeah I figured, it would be pretty counter productive to set your crush free by making them fall in love with another person.

>>16416621641662 Exactly! No, what the "Dark Figure" has planned is a little more complex than that.

Oh the guess the villain game. Always a fun one. Let us see the villain obviously has a history with Discord. Apparently when trying the love spell while he wasn't stone didn't go to well. This mystery shadow apparently seems to be pony shaped but given Discord and changelings doesn't mean much. This dark figure apparently likes Discord and wants what is best for him. I might be crazy but possibly a relative of Discord's or a friend of his?

I am enjoying this story very much and look forward to more of it.:Wish there was a Discord emote. Well this one is still good.

>>17900501790050

Actually the whole comment about "A statue taking a love spell better" was the fact that the "Dark Figure" noticed that it's plan was going a lot quicker with Discord than Pinkie Pie. And yeah this villain does want what's best for Discord... But no... It isn't any relative or friend of his.

>>17901851790185 Neither family nor friend you say? Makes things a bit more difficult to guess but more interesting. A being who cares for Discord yet he does might possably know the figure. Now I'm curious if there are some religion or cult that say Discord is their god or something.I'm also wondering if this figure also was behind the first time Discord got free. I might need to wait for more story to get more details to make a better guess. My second Guess a being that worships Discord.

I add a for luck. I also just like it.

>>17903131790313 Nope... No Cult of Chaos group in this tale... And you are award that the CMC was the reason why Discord got out the first time right?

>>17903471790347 Yup I am aware of the CMC helped free Discord. What I don't know is how much power your villain has and how manipulative he/she can be. Was the field trip a simple coincidence or a part of a great plan? Well I still have a guess left and I guess I'll hold onto it for when I think of something better.

>>17904091790409 Simple coincidence.

OH, YES!!! YOU WRITE DISCOPIE TOO!! SO READING! And:

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK…

“Twilight!”

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK…

“Twilight!”

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK…

“Twilight!”

Yeah, got the Big Bang reference there. I love that show. Keep up the awesome DisPie-lyness!

>>18515691851569 You're reading my DisPie fic!!! Now I will be SURE to finish it!!! Also you are the first person to get that reference. Here have a Derpy... I me some BBT!!! Sheldon is too cute for words, and who can go wrong with ShAmy?

My user name has become a story!

>>19297211929721 So it has... I was actually looking at my notifications going... "My story commented on itself? WTF?"

>>19297601929760

It is I, the personification of your story come to life!

But seriously, I wish you the best of luck with your story.

>>19297941929794 But I haven't even finished you! How can you exist?!

Thanks!

dun dun dun! ha take that twilight >:D

so i wonder when Discord the real one will come into the mix and i hope that him and pinkie get together.

but the thing i want to know is...who is this villain!

The villain is...

It is...

Chrysalis!

Maybe?

Cause Chrysalis has green magic

>>19562551956255 Not even close.

Is the villan the one who created Discord as a tool to either rule Equestria or destroy it but Celestia and Luna got in the way and sealed Discord? Awesome story by the way can't wait for the next chapter