This sounds promising.

I'll read this in a bit, but in the meantime, it's spelled 'beginning'.  One G, two N's.

Sorry to be picky, but a misspelled title is not a good first impression, or a good representation of the story.  

>>964575964575

Thanks for the heads up, was to busy writing didn't really notice the title!

Odd though that Chrome didn't try to correct it for me.

Interesting Story... Very interesting...

I must Favorite, and follow.

A few issues I noticed.

Apostrophe S shouldn't form plurals.

If you're talking about the head of a school, you want principal, not principle.

A few sentences seemed a little run-on to me.

Nothing horribly distracting from the narrative, but you could probably do with a little more careful editing.

this looks good

If you haven't heard of us already, the Fallout: Equestria Side Stories Compilation Document is always open for new authors to post their stories and talk to other authors. You can find it here!

good chapter again

Sweet Celestia.

Now that I know the school is the one where all the students were killed by the Zebra's, I feel like I already know the ending.

>>969580969580

Trust me, you have no idea where I'm bringing the story, and if you recall earlier in the second chapter I think? It talks about the actual school that was attacked, only for a brief moment, this school is nothing like the one that fell, I have a great idea for this story but you'l just have to wait and see.

good story, some speling/grammer errors, though I see that you're well aware of that fact, the MAJOR problem I see is that chapter 3 is an exact copy of chapter 2 (unless I'm missing some small detail, that somehow differentiates them)

though I'm not sure where you're getting your FO:E info from, it just seems...out of order, as far as I know Stables weren't built until megaspells were developed, and that was thirteen years into the war, and the exchange of megaspells happened four years later, that's the only major problem, though I can name a few more smaller issues which I will save for later

>>978293978293

Oh shit it is an exact copy, gonna fix that! Posted the wrong one from Google Doc's, I'm not doing the dreams in order, if I do timeline errors like the stables its because I havn't read the fic in a few months so I don't exactly have the most fresh memory on it. I'm trying to ask people on things with time but not to many people specialize in FO:E Timeline. I would think of it as more of a test stable then if that is the case? I'll try to keep it as accurate as I can, I'm only one person.

Grammar is always going to be a problem with me unless someone else can review for me, I don't have the time to spend hours reviewing my work if I wish to keep up my production on my other projects.

I shall offer my services to proof read!

Also, brilliant chapter as always. I always look forward to new chapters!

>>978347978347 don't worry, if you need a timeline here you go:

X amount of time after the show (generally assumed to be 10 years), the Wonderbolts unlawfully enter zebra empire territory to rescue hostages from zebra gem pirates, increasing international tensions. Several Wonderbolts are slain in the process. (other sources say that all the Wonderbolts were slain),

the Zebra Caesar needing to strengthen his position on the 'throne' (from the various sources I've found, the Caesar served as a figurehead and the position was nonhereditary, though I think the Caesar could pick his successor), declared war on Equestria, using not just the Wonderbolt incident, but also the Zebra empire's need of gemstones, which Equestria had in great amounts almost to the degree of a monopoly, Equestria followed because they needed the coal from the Zebra empire to power their growing industry, while the Zebra's needed the gemstones to modernize,

the Zebra nation is split up into smaller nation-tribes, each having thier own level of being civilized/cultured (one tribe was supposedly just as cultured as Canterlot, and their city was just as impressive) and willingness to  fight, at the start of the war some tribes joined with the Caesar in declaring war on Equestria, while others stayed out (not that any pony would really know all this, given that apparently very little was know about the Zebra empire, though this could just be a wasteland thing), for the next ten years there was really only minor fighting, with prisoner exchanges being common and generally both sides 'played nice' (we don't really have all that much info on this period, perhaps this fic could give us some details?),

then the massacre at Little Horn happens, several zebra civilian refugees seeking refuge from the war, including foals, approach Princess Luna's School for Gifted Unicorns and are killed on sight. In response, their escort infiltrates the school and wipes out almost all of the faculty and student body. (but all the general population of Equestria would know is that the Zebra's wiped out a school of foals, while the Zebra's probably played up the Equestria killing refugees), also right around this time Hoofington gets razed by Zebra infiltrators (don't remember exactly how it got destroyed) (this is if you consider Project Horizons 'canon', which I do),

soon after Princess Celestia abdicates her throne, her reason being that she can no longer rule under these circumstances, leaving Princess Luna in charge of the government, Luna quickly reorganizes the government into a 'wartime' one, and sets up the six ministries, each one headed by one of the Mane6, also the focus shifts to a 'total war' perspective as vengeance is wanted for Little Horn and Hoofington, at this time the citizens of Hoofington vow to rebuild their city as a fortress designed as a death trap for the invading Zebra forces from the south, in order to deal with Equestria's total war stance many more zebra tribes joined with the Caesar in fighting the ponies as well as taking a total war stance themselves

sometime later Rainbow Dash creates the shadowbolts, an elite squadron of pegasi led by herself,

the first field test of a megaspell happens in year 13 and is ironically a mass healing spell,

then in year 15 the battle of Shattered Hoof Ridge happens, where Big Mac takes a sniper bullet meant for Princess Celestia, Applejack then dedicates herself to making armor that could withstand such bullets, and so magically-powered armor is created, along with the Steel Rangers the elite group of earth ponies who wear said suites of armor,

then in year 17 the Zebra's somehow acquire megaspells and the exchange of balefire happens later that year

sources: the timeline from the wiki and what I remember

sorry about the wall of text, you need a timeline? I bring it to you

oh crap hes going to be in the war

good chapter again

good again kinda weird about his dreams

OH COME ON!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png

>>995678995678

Made my day.

wow what are they acting all strict for

>>10231111023111

High Class family, Canterlot, pretty much the usual for him.

Y I NO GET PROOFREAD!?

I saw an error!

>>10276101027610

CUZ U NO ONLINE!

Been writing at around 2am for these chapters recently in my timezone.

Hmmm. 4th perhaps?

I really need to update this story, I've been very busy this past week with PMV's, I think i'm gonna release a chapter today since I just finished my Aviators Rig for my next animation. Probably my most complex rig yet.

looking towards the next

SO CLOSE AGAIN. Why can i never get first post? 36 BUCKING MINUTES AGO! I SAW THIS YESTERDAY!!!!

..... Go on.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png

I've been completely brain dead on this story ever since the last chapter!