This is pretty good. :3

Damn. The picture alone struck a nerve with me... The story was excellent man. Although I question how someone could grow so attached to something so imaginary, this was a very intriguing read.

>>981986981986

Thank you! It means a lot to me!

>>981990981990

People grow attached to things, some more than others. Koroshi-Ya wrote the song that inspired this story, so I'd imagine he could answer the question better than I could. Personally, I wouldn't mind flying around the skies at night with Princess Luna, but I'm not obsessed with it to the degree of Terry Jones.

Thanks for reading!

That was good, well written and certainly struck a chord with me. I'd like to see that sadder ending though, i'm always up for a bit of sorrow. It took me a while though to realize the orange pegasus was in fact, not Spitfire with her gender swapped but Terry. Anyway, well done.

>>981990981990

Obsession is a strange and cruel mistress, one that it almost always irrational.  

>>982004982004

I would never have guessed a r63'd Spitfire.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, but I'm gonna wait a bit until I release the sadder alternate-ending. Watch it so you'll know when it comes out!

>>982019982019

I will, and my mind works in odd ways, it always manages to assume to weirdest of everything.

Nice story! I just didn't understood the ending very well.

>>982072982072

When I was writing this, I was very worried not everyone would understand the ending. But, I liked how it sounded and it made sense to me, my pre-readers, and my co-writer.

Thanks for reading it!

Better than anything I could do but never the less I liked it

>>982115982115

It's my first, but it's a start.

Thanks for reading!

Didn't like it. Can't sympathize for the main character in any way.

>>982215982215

It's not for everyone, but it wasn't really meant for sympathy.

Well hell that was awesome! Puts up a lot of foreshadowing ideas in my view

>>982305982305

Foreshadowing is one of my favorite things when it comes to writing.

Thanks for reading!

>>982339982339 Oh don't worry about Dimondium bro. Every fic I've seem him commenting on end`s up being him doing nothing but criticizing the author for the most basic of offenses, while believing him to be one of the best writers on the site. He is the type of person I call a partypooper. In my opinion, this is a very well done fic. Didn`t make me feel anything, but that`s simply due to me being a cold damn bastard. Like and faved, good job mate.

GODDAMNIT the song! I listened to this while reading when he was dying. God that gets you hard, you got me. Nothing has gotten me since I read My LIttle Dashie, and you did it. Kudos to you sir. now if you excuse me...

>>982456982456

Thanks, man. It means a lot to me.

>>982460982460

*hands you tissues*

>>981990981990

I read My Little Dashie. That was enough to get me to fall in love with her.

Uh,im pretty sure this has been made already,but not on FF.

Great story

>>982460982460 I read my little dashie and cryed to but i have a story that will make you cry for a hour it's called the things we leave behind by theswimminbrony It's a great story

That's exactly the same thing the song says, but in a story, instead in a rap.

And somehow, the end of the song coincides to the death of the guy.

That's awesome. That's how i thought the song would end like if it was a story. Thank you. I'm actually happier now!

Ok, gmod reaction incoming about this!

>>982588982588

A story with the same concept as mine? Like, exactly the same? Do tell...

>>982589982589

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

>>982617982617

I'm a sucker for a happy ending, but I will post a much more sadder alternate ending in due time.

>>982765982765 I mean a fanfiction of the song 'Rainbow'. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it sir.

>>982772982772

Oh, ok. Then in that case, yes, you are correct.

>>982617982617

Be sure to send me that reaction!

Well it was nice really, but I got a question though.

If Terry died in his human form, resurrecting him as a pony isn't some kind of dark magic?

I'm just asking, no intention of blowing anything.

Again, nice work!

>>983039983039

Well, his soul, his heart, and his mind had left his human body, at the care of Twilight's magic, and was materialized in Equestria. He never died. He was near death. On the brink of it, really. Twilight just saved him, after Rainbow Dash's persuasion.

However, in the human world, this would cause the life in his body to exist. To the regular human eye, he would've passed away. But, his soul was removed, and taken to Equestria. So yes, he did technically die, but at the same time he lived. It's complicated. Why didn't they take his body with him? Well, heart failure, and because I didn't want this to become a human-in-Equestria fic. Hope that cleared it up for you!

Thanks for reading!

This story would make for a good short film, probably only be 5 minutes maximum but it would still be good.

And it's really saddening,  <feel> Wanting to live in Equestria </Feel>

>>983142983142

Oh you really cleared that up for me, it does make sense.

On a side note: Straight to Favorites!

>>983526983526

It's called a "short" story.

>>983611983611

Thanks!

I'm stuck on what to say.

there's one guy who doesn't like it, and other people going bananas about it.

Here's my thing: it's really sad that a dude wastes his life on a transsexual pony

Me? i wouldn't waste my time on a abomination like that.... P.S. i did read the entire story, but the idea i didn't like...

Listene to the song and if you read it at the right time when she says whats in the song you WILL feel chills up your back no joke. Also AMZEING fic wish my fics were this good....but they have alot of dark stuff (even though i hate those kind of fics) Anyways great work and can't wait to see more of your work...you know what i'm telling my other brony friends about this fic. Good luck in the future

>>983644983644

If you dwelve into the psychology of your characters, you're liable to kill your enthusiasm, so I never bothered to think about what caused him to have this obsession to such a degree.

There's also more than just one person that doesn't like it, but the one you're talking about was quite vocal about it.

>>983826983826

Thank you very much! My next writing thing is actually going to be an alternate ending, for those of us who like REALLY sad stuff, then a crossover with Ao Oni.

Hmm this story, it makes me think, how Mlp has affected my life, way of thinking, freetime spending, Mlp affected me to the core and from that core everything gets affected slightly.

I'm not going to write that this story is the best i've ever readed, i would be lying if i did, but what it did do was making me think about myself and i can hardly tell how happy i am to what i've become.

I hope that this story affects others in the way it affected me; being the trigger to just take the time to just think about stuff.

You as a writer are promising, my advice would be to continue, gain more experience and learn, maybe ask some other writers for tips.

But i just know that you will make true masterpieces, how you made the end, that was gold. Same with the whole flying/racing part you kept enough open space for the readers to wonder and when we began to wonder you gave us the happy ending we all/mostly were hoping for.  

Story: Good

Song: Good

Overall: Wonderful

Not a bad story but it felt rushed. I like drawn out stories.

Dunno what half these guys are on about, this is amazing stuff!

Great job, keep up the good work bro

No offense, but if felt kind of abrupt. man waits for Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash finds him in a hospital after his heart failed. Dash takes him to Equestria. they all live happily ever after. I was expecting more of a relationship, or at least a connection, between the two mane characters. That aside, great story!

Normally, when a fanfic is inspired by a song, its shit.  This one is actually pretty good.

Pretty decent execution of a fic for such a great song, didn't pull at my heartstrings like I was expecting going in, but it was alright. I also got a kick out of him being hospitalized where he was.

>>984033984033

I'm a sucker for happy endings, what can I say?

>>984140984140

Thanks!

>>984154984154

The problem with that is keeping your pacing up. In Writing class in my school, if I decided to write a multi-chapter epic, I noticed the pacing would be WAY too slow. Sorry if it felt a little rushed to you, but thanks for reading it!

>>984758984758

Thank you very much!!!

>>985017985017

I originally planned to go into detail about how Rainbow Dash knew about Terry, but I scrapped it early on, since it really did halt the story. But, there's more to this story coming.

>>985361985361

Thanks!

>>986342986342

I was beginning to worry no one would notice my little joke. Thanks!

>>986446986446 Oh, O.K.

>>982595982595 I think I read that one a a month or two. I have terrible memory.

>>987455987455 Well if you haven't I say read it. It's a amazing story wrote by a great writer

>>982497982497 Have you thought of writing an entire story? not like fallout: equestria (by god it would be awesome though) Because your work is amazing

>>987466987466 I might, but right now I have to get into writing again because I plan on finishing a story by winter.

Well i will have to read this story

>>987470987470

Thank you, and I am considering the idea. The problem is, I've already written the ending, so if I were to write the rest of the story, from the beginning to the end (which you've seen), I don't know if I'd be able to submit it as a new story. However, I can confirm an alternate ending, and a blog post will be up soon with a sneak peek.

>>987492987492

Let me know what you think!

>>987626987626 no not that, a new story. Nothing like Rainbow.

>>990865990865

Ohhhhh

Well, in the future, I hope to be working on another story, but I need to learn a lot. You saw me writing lines for 3 different characters that I didn't create in this story. Rainbow Dash and Twilight, who are both separate pieces of my own personality (so they came second nature to me), and Derpy. I'm absolutely god awful at writing lines for anyone else, so I'm gonna learn a bit.

So yes, another story is coming. Hopefully a big one. But it's not coming anytime soon.

I haz a sad nao..

>>10429411042941

*hands you tissues*

So, here it is! The alternate ending! Comment with constructive criticism!

Well that was actually pretty good. I have to say though, it's not something to cry for, but you can definitely sense the sadness in it.

I think I have nothing else to say to that.

>>12146691214669

School had actually prevented me from sitting down and really capturing something tear-jerking, but the sadness is there. Well, it may be tear-jerking to some people. Everyone's different.

There's also a little joke I hid in the alternate ending. Did you catch it?

>>12149251214925I AM CRYING SO MANY MANLY TEARS, I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Why, you manic, why?!

>>12152591215259

...wut?

I guess... this is enough Internet for today...

>>12178391217839

I'm not sure if that was a compliment or an insult.

Thanks...?

>>12180811218081 It's a statement.

Yeah, I'm not crying, but I can see the sadness there.

...care for a 2nd alternate ending? Make it a funny one.

>>12194841219484

No. Not that I haven't weighed that possibility, but adding some sort of humor directly contradicts the point of this story.

>>12254811225481

Oh, okay, sorry.

>>12256681225668

It's alright. If you want to write an ending the way you would've liked to have seen it, then by all means, do it.

>>12262141226214

No, no, I'm fine with it.

This is so sad and so beautiful.

You took your time for this and its worth every second.

>>12300611230061

Thank you, that means a lot to me.

>>12364461236446

I had the feeling that it would be appriciated..... and i was right i can foresee the FUTURE.

Ah-ha-haha-ha! (gill's voice, Street fighter 3)

very good..., that pastel colored abomination is better off experiencing PAIN

Terry got what he deserved, he's in hell, being burned for worshiping the homosexual ..

Bang your fist on that, terry!!

ka-hahaha-HA!

>>12485921248592

I think my IQ hurts..

Did my typing disgust you, or did i just waste your time?

Wow, and to think I've been purposely avoiding reading this because i thought it would be a bit too sad... i feel stupid now...

EDIT: by which i mean it is very, VERY good and I wish i read it sooner

>>12603551260355 I know that feel, bro... ny

>>13081361308136

Okay.....

That song and that alternate ending... I honestly don't know what to say right now. This is probably the first time on this site I ever was pushed passed the point of tearing up to full on crying... Minus the loud wails. My feels, you steam rollered the hell out of them(always was more emotionally affected by songs by alot of other things). Thank you for this touching story.

>>13091251309125

AWKWARD SITUATION METER REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS!  ABORT!  ABORT!

>>13121331312133

You're welcome. And thank you for reading it!

*hands you tissues*

Awesome Not Tear Jerking But It Was Sad.

>>13338641333864

I didn't really expect it to be tear-jerking. I just wanted it to be something that you can at least feel the sadness in, seeing as how I never write sadfics.

Thank you!

I hugged all my rainbow dashes in attempt to feel

>>13409831340983

>>13498191349819 please tell me there will be more

>>13502471350247

More of my writing? Yes

More writing related to this story? Possibly. I've got two or three other ideas to go through first, one of which I may never truly "finish."

>>13514021351402 finishall of your stories i wanna read them

>>13514371351437

I'm working quickly on them, one's a pretty short DoctorxDerpy shipfic, while the other is a long fic starring Lyra and the Doctor.

Watch me so you know when they come out, but I'll be sure to notify you somehow!

>>13530501353050okie dokie loki and that you,and i will watch

>>13533571353357

Thanks!