66w, 3dHuman in Equestria
As they walked on for another half hour or so, they neared Carousel Boutique. Being not one for fashion, Rainbow said her farewell and told Callum to bring his drinking A-game. Of course, he was going to anyways but he couldn’t wait to see how well these ponies could handle their liquor. He walked up the Rarity’s front door and gave free gentle knocks, finishing the last one with slightly more force.
“Come iiinnnnn~.” Rarity’s voice called out, Callum done as he was told and entered the store.
“Rarity?” Callum asked, loud enough for the fashionista to hear. The white unicorn emerged from the top of the staircase.
“Oh.” Rarity looked down, seeing the human in her midst, giving him a warm smile “Why hello Callum.” She said as she trotted down the stairs “What can I do for you?”
“Thought I’d come and visit you to see if you’re looking forward for tonight.”
“Tonight?” She gave him a puzzled look “What’s happening tonight?”
“Well. Ash, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and I were going to go to Neon’s tonight for a bit of fun.” He smiled “Y’know, to release some of the stress of this week so far. That and I want to see what pony alcohol is like compared to human.” He finished the sentence with a shrug.
“I see, I am guessing that you are wondering if I will join you.” She asked, receiving a nod from Callum “Well…I do enjoy a bit of wine every now and again…I’ll come if you promise me not to let me drink too much.”
“If you don’t want to drink but want to see me and hopefully Ashley off our faces, you’re welcome to join.” Callum said as he walked back to the front door to leave “It’s going to be fun tonight, see you later Rarity. Meet us at Twilight’s at eight thirty.”
“Goodbye darling.” Hearing the door shut, she turned to retreat back upstairs to gather some sketches she had been working on earlier that day.
Lets see… Callum thought to himself. He had been walking around the town for half an hour once again since his very brief visit to Rarity. He wondered if he could commission her to make him some more outfits. Sure the uniform was great and all but he needed more sets of clothes, casual more than anything, maybe a tuxedo perhaps? He wasn’t too sure about it yet, wanting to think about what kind of clothes he would want first. He could always go for a pair of trainers. Those would be very useful after all since wearing boots all the time was a tad annoying. That’s Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow crossed off… Pinkie is probably going to think that I’m still playing tag with her, best wait a while until she calms down… Wait. Pinkie and calm down? he laughed at his own thought, getting strange looks from nearby ponies Not bad, needs more awkwardness in that one…Anyways, all that remains is Fluttershy. I wonder if she has forgiven Ashley for killing two of her chickens… Then again, she really loves animals so I doubt she has. I should pay her a visit anyway, haven’t spoke to her in a while.
Only a few minutes passed and Fluttershy’s cottage was in his sights. The canary yellow Pegasus was tending to a small group of birds in a nest that settled on one of her home’s branches. The trickling of water could be heard from the small river that flows under the short bridge near her home. Angel was happily sitting on the grass. The noise that plagued the streets of Ponyville could not be heard near the cottage, only the peaceful quiet with the occasional sound of her animals. Calming would be the word that would suit being near her home. The air seemed fresher on her hill, much like Sweet Apple Acre’s, probably due to the amount of plant life nearby.
“Hey Fluttershy.” Callum greeted the Pegasus calmly, trying not to startle the Pegasus.
Asides from the small shock of somepony behind her, she turned around, setting herself on the ground without making a noise.
“Oh…Hello Callum.” She greeted the human just above an audible level, hiding behind her mane.
Ah Fluttershy… Callum thought So timid yet so innocent. I still wonder why Ashley did what he did…Oh wait, the twitching. Of course.
“So how’s it going?” Callum asked, looking up to the nest she was tending to not moments ago “I see you like birds.” Pointing out the obvious, he was trying his best to get the mare to be less…Shy around him at least. Knowing that talking about someone’s interest was useful for snagging a girl back in the day, little tip that he took from his dad when Callum had reached sixteen years old. He worshipped his dad, even though he was the main reason why the human liked to prank so much. He and his father would always do some pranking with Ashley beside them, those were good times.
“Oh…Um, I’m just checking up on my bird friends here.” She said, looking up to the nest as well. Inside the nest were two white doves, one of them had its wing over the over “They’ve been with me for about a couple of weeks now. They just showed up out of nowhere.”
It was worth a shot, he held out his left arm at the doves. The birds looked at the human and themselves. It wasn’t long until the two perched themselves on his arm, Fluttershy was flabbergasted. She didn’t expect this to happen, she thought they would try to stay away from the human since he does look quite frightening.
“H-how did you do that?” She asked, her tone was more audible, she no longer hid behind her mane but hovered herself next to the human, her eyes stayed on the two doves.
“Some animals sense fear.” Callum stated, using his right index finger to stroke one of the doves head “Staying calm and not making sudden movements may make it easier for the animal to warm up to you and the main reason why they trusted me is because you didn’t try to run away or see me as a threat.” He took his finger away from the dove he was stroking and started to do the same to the other, a small smile had crept onto his face “They trust you and see that if you can trust me, then so can they.”
“Wow…” Even though she already knew this, it was still nice to hear it come from somepony such as Callum. It was the least she would have expected from him since he has a tough exterior. She wondered how he knew this, she was a tad embarrassed to ask such a thing but Callum kept on telling his story.
“I guess the most memorable thing like this to me…Would be when I became friends with a wolf.”
Looking briefly to the side, he nodded to the shy Pegasus. He lifted his left arm towards the nest, gesturing the doves to return there to which they did. Callum lowered himself to lie on the warm grass, staring at the clouds that stood still in the sky. Of course, he wanted them to pass by themselves but clouds here were unlike Earth’s. One feature he missed from back home, not that big of a deal though.
“Yes a wolf.” Callum began. Fluttershy took a seat next the human once she eased herself back to the ground. “Back when I was a teen. My father and I would go camping during the summer for about a week or so. There was a nice lake that not many knew of since it was far away from the town and was hard to find because of the large forest. Beautiful scenery, sometimes we would fish, but we didn’t kill what we caught. We would take a photo of whoever caught the fish alongside with their catch and then we’d throw it back into the lake, but sometimes we had to since we would sometimes run out of food. How I met the wolf was a sheer amount of luck. My dad asked me to collect fire wood. He gave me a hunting knife in case I was attacked and just before he did, he gave me a fish to use as bait to distract any predator that was chasing me.” He chuckled lightly to himself “Crazy coot always said that it’s better to have something and not need it than to need it and not have it.”
Fluttershy smiled, carefully listening to Callum’s story. She never really got to know about the human’s past but she saw here that the human had a soft side to him.
“As I was walking around the forest, I could hear some whining from a nearby clearing. I held the hunting knife in my hand in case I was going to be in trouble, I was sixteen at the time this happened. Using a knife effectively was taught to me by my dad. Anyway, I saw the wolf on the floor, in pain. I still wonder what managed to injure it. All I know was that its front left paw was sprained.” Letting out a slight sigh, he continued his story more “I know I could have just left it there but something inside me told me not to. I slowly crept up to it and didn’t make any sudden movements. Even though it would growl and bare its teeth at me, I continued on. I handed the wolf the very same fish I had from my father. All he did was sniff it before taking it carefully from my hand. Once I finished watching him eat, I turned to leave but saw the wolf try to follow me and well…Because of its injury, it couldn’t. Lucky me that I was pretty strong back then so I carried it back to our small campsite…Boy did my dad have a bitch fit.” He laughed a bit more, making the Pegasus in his presence feel a little more at ease.
“I told him that I could at least bandage up its injury with part of my first aid kit I had. We had to take precautions of course, after all, it was the forest and we needed to plan things out.” He looked towards the corner of his eye, seeing Fluttershy preparing to lay herself down in the spot where she sat. “Once I patched up the wolf and pointed away from our campsite, it left us. But here’s the thing, I would notice it in the bushes from time to time. Of course, I snuck out at night to check on its bandages and once it was healed, I took them off and the wolf let me stroke him.”
“That’s a wonderful story.” Fluttershy said with a smile.
“I guess it is.” Callum returned the smile as he continued to stare at the sky “It was from then on that every time we went to the forest, the wolf would show up the next day. My dad said that I made the right choice in helping it and well, the wolf saw how friendly I was to my dad and it shown respect towards him as well. We even named him Razor. The worst part of it was when I stopped going to the woods altogether.” Seeing the slight saddened expression appear on Fluttershy’s face did make him feel a bit bad, but the story wasn’t over yet.
“Just before Ash and I were going to be sent off for the army, which was about four years from then, I went back to that forest one more time.” Fluttershy’s ears perked up a bit “And a pack of wolves had come out of the bushes behind me but I recognised one of them immediately. It was Razor.” A smile had returned to her face “At first, he didn’t recognise me so he cautiously came up to me, the others were close by. He gave me a sniff and recognised my scent, he knew who I was. He immediately leapt onto me, I knew he missed me and here’s the best part.” Fluttershy leaned her head a bit more out of anticipation. She was really intrigued by how the story would end
“The other wolves eased up around me, I guess Razor was the pack leader and they decided to trust me. I followed Razor into a small cave which I assumed was his home and he shown me his cubs and his mate. The cubs were scared of me and his mate growled but seeing Razor and the rest of the pack with me, they began to become more comfortable around me and I spent the night with them, playing with the cubs, helping feed the group and what not.”
Callum let out a relieved sigh, Fluttershy was the fifth person that knew about the human’s adventure alongside his father, Ashley, Nathan and Luke. Telling the story to the mare seemed to get her to come out of her shell, seeing her more comfortable in the humans presence.
“That was a beautiful story Callum.” Fluttershy said “I wouldn’t expect you to do a thing like that.”
“What?” Callum gave her a puzzled look “Because of my tendency towards violence?” Fluttershy nodded, Callum gave out a small laugh “We all have secrets Fluttershy. It’s a story I don’t like getting out much.”
“Why?” She asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.
“Tell me something Fluttershy, has your opinion in me change at all?” She nodded “Care to tell me how?”
“W-well…” As much as she didn’t want to talk about how she saw the human, she still thought that he deserved to know since he told her something from his past “I guess I see that you have a soft side underneath…your habit to be violent.” She squeaked, immediately hiding her face under her hooves and mane. She was about to apologise but heard Callum’s laugh once more.
“It’s alright Fluttershy.” Callum said as he stroked her mane which was soft as silk. “I asked for your opinion and trust me, I’ve had much worse. But I can see where you’re coming from.”
She slowly slid her face out of her hooves, looking up to see Callum still stroking her mane to make her feel a bit comfortable, which it was. She liked the way his fingers ran through her mane.
“Anyway…” Callum sighed “The main reason why I’m here is if you are willing to join Me, Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack at Neon’s tonight.”
“What about Pinkie Pie?” She asked confusingly.
“Yeeeeeeeaaaah…Couldn’t catch her. She thought I was playing tag.” He heard Fluttershy let out a small, quiet laugh. “But after your answer, I’ll try to find her. So what do you say? Wanna tag along?”
“Oh...Um...Of course...If that’s okay with you.” She answered shyly (What else can you expect?)
“Fluttershy.” Callum said flatly but broke out with a smile “I asked you, of course it’s alright.” He got back up and stretched “I’ll see you later tonight then.” Waving back at the mare who smiled as he left but remembered something.
“Oh and Fluttershy...”
“Mmmm?” She hummed.
“Can you not tell anyone about the whole wolf thing? I’d like to keep it under wraps.”
Smiling warmly, she replied “If that’s what you want...Okay Callum, I promise.”
“Cool, see ya.” Callum grinned, starting to jog back towards Ponyville. Having the discussion with Fluttershy seemed to do wonders for his mood. He felt calm and collected. But of course, that would be bound to change since he now had to try and find Pinkie Pie...
Wherever the heck she was...
Time skip: 7pm
“FOR FUCK SAKE, PINKIE!” Callum let out the earth shaking shout. Once more, it had been hours of him chasing the pink mare. Only this time, she decided to spice things up a bit with a few traps. Her latest one was him being launched into the sky by the mare’s party cannon, its deadly force of confetti and streamers launching into his chest. Even though it was basically pieces of paper and ribbon shot at high speed, it still managed to send him across the whole town, arcing into one of Applejack’s apple trees. Remarkably, the tree remained the way it was before the human landed on its branches. This just threw more questions into the humans mind but it was too busy trying to recall what happened, where he landed and of course, how much pain it should register for the human.
Which turned out to be a hell of a lot.
Where ever she hid her cannon, Callum had no clue. It just appeared out of nowhere. And of course, when he landed, he was greeted by the party pony once more, adding insult to injury. She stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at the human before zooming off in a pink blur, back to the town.
“Callum…” Ashley’s voice called out from underneath his landing tree, hearing Callum groan in pain, he continued “Are seriously idiotic enough to not know how to get Pinkie?” Judging by his friends puzzled look, he continued “*sigh* Use bait you moron.” He complimented the sentence with a face-palm
Shifting his body to the left, he fell out of the tree and hit the ground with a loud thump, with a side order of dust flowing from his impact. Ashley grabbed his friend’s shoulders and hoisted him back to a standing position.
“Cheers mate.” Callum gave a two finger salute to his friend as he darted back off to the town, searching for Pinkie once more. Ashley remained on the apple farm, shaking his head, arms folded.
He can deal with it.
Alright… Callum thought as he sprinted back to Ponyville Use bait… How the fuck will that benefit me getting Pinkie to stay still for at least ten seconds…
I could indulge my sweet tooth right now…
He began to hightail it towards the confectionary. Taking only a few minutes to reach the store, he opened the door and saw Mr and Mrs Cake cleaning up.
“Oh hey there Callum.” Mr Cake greeted the human with a warm smile “Did you find Pinkie?”
Slightly out of breath, his answer was slightly delayed “Still working on that. Do you have any cupcakes I can buy right this moment?”
“Uh…Sure.” Giving the human a confused look, but that faded away quickly since it was a sale. He went into the kitchen to retrieve a cupcake with lavender frosting, white sprinkles nearly covered the frosting itself, making the treat look like it was covered in snow.
“That’ll be two bits.” Mr Cake asked and Callum responded by through two bronze coins onto the counter. He grabbed the cupcake and left the building almost immediately.
“PINKIE!” Callum called out as he held the cupcake in the air, getting looks from ponies nearby, not that he cared about them at the moment. “I have something for you!”
That was odd…
Pinkie and not immediately consuming a sugar filled treat just for her was troublesome.
“Huh…Guess she isn’t hungry…” Shrugging to himself and closing his eyes, he brought his arm back down. He didn’t want to waste a perfectly good cupcake that he just paid for go to waste. He went to take a bite but heard some childish laughter.
Opening one eye, he noticed that the cupcake had been replaced…
By the pony he was hunting for…
Wait… Either he just became strong enough to make a pony feel as heavy as the sugar filled treat OR Pinkie is capable of shifting the laws of gravity into her own hooves and can manipulate the weight of objects and herself…
Highly likely the second option.
“Thanks for the cupcake Cal!” Pinkie said as she hopped off his hand. The human’s mind was completely fried at the given moment to what just happened. “I needed a top up.”
“What.” Was the only word Callum could muster, his brain was going overboard.
:/ Brain.exe is not responding due to unforeseen situation. Please choose one of the options below.
://> Brain implosion with a side order of zombie invasion which is yet to happen (A/N: Soon zombie plans shall come to reality, you know it and I know it)
://> There is no god and all will be destroyed by the flying spaghetti monster
://> Become insane and become one with nature, followed by world destroying spaghetti monster
://> Blame Pinkie Pie and the world shall remain the way it was.
He wanted to choose the first option, only if it didn’t imply him dying. He had no choice but go with option four. Luckily, his brain managed to recover.
“So what do you want Cal?” Pinkie asked as she hopped around him, the sugar had instantly gone into her system the moment she ate the treat.
“I-uh… Want to go to Neon’s with Ash, the others and I?”
“*gasp* Oh I’d love to go! It’ll be sooooo fun! We can dance all night long with awesome music! Oh oh! And we’ll be with all our friends so it’ll be double the fun! Even triple because Vinyl Scratch is playing tonight!”
“Good to hear that Pinks…” He didn’t really want to have to listen to Pinkie make a huge list of what they were going to do that night. Not to mention he was a bit tired from having to chase after her. He decided to head to Twilight’s for a quick nap until it was time to meet up, ignoring the fact of what he did earlier since he wasn’t in the mood to tell her another word at the moment.
Trying to convince Twilight that he was sorry wasn’t easy. The same could be said for asking her to have a quick nap at her place. But after a while, she gave up for Callum and his ways. It was probably the best thing to do after all, no doubt about it. He didn’t bother to have a quick moment of sleep, now that he had recovered fully from the whole moment of chasing Pinkie Pie.
Speaking of the pink pony, she was the first to arrive, bursting through the door with a loud bang followed by streamers and confetti which were cleaned up in the time span of a single blink by the pony herself. Applejack was second, styling her Stetson like always and telling everyone how she was looking forward towards tonight. The third guest to arrive was Rainbow Dash, she too was eager for tonight since it was not only drinking, but Vinyl Scratch was playing. The cyan pegasus was easy to spot as a huge fan a mile away. Fourth to arrive was Rarity, saying she couldn’t find a dress to for such an occasion but Callum interjected, saying that the dress would just hinder her enjoyment of the night since she will most likely try her best to keep it clean.
The fifth guest was Fluttershy with a gentle knock on the door. The sound was almost inaudible but Twilight was the closest to the door and was lucky to even pick up the sound. Fluttershy being herself, she timidly walked into the building but she too thought tonight would be enjoyable.
The last to arrive was Ashley although he didn’t plan on using the front door. Instead, he climbed up the tree, up to Twilight’s balcony which she used for her astronomy hobby.
“How did you-“ Twilight began to question Ashley’s antic since for starters, he walked down her stairs.
“Your house is too easy to climb.” Ashley said with a grin, leaning himself off Callum who was standing still, arms folded. “Climbed up to your balcony. Nice view.”
“Well…” Twilight shot him a slightly angered look “Don’t do it again. My home isn’t a climbing frame. Not to mention I have a front door!”
Giving the lavender unicorn a shrug, he gestured to the door “Shall we get going?”
“Sure.” Rainbow spoke up. Ashley opened the door for all the others to exit. Spike was going to turn in early that night, knowing that something was bound to happen due to it not being the first time he witnessed ponies under the influence of alcohol. In fact, he found it quite humorous at first, until the next day when Twilight had a hangover. He shuddered at the thought before locking the door when both all the ponies and the two humans left the library for their night of fun.
“So Ash...” Callum began as the group walked towards the club. It would take around ten to fifteen minutes to get there. Rainbow and Applejack were already talking about a drinking contest to which Callum secretly looked forward to.
“We’ve got mentioned in a newspaper and I-“
“I’m going.” Ashley interrupted flatly.
“Huh?” Callum gave his friend a look of slight confusion, wondering why his friend didn’t let him explain the rest.
“Luna told me about it this morning and that she submitted some stuff about it.” Ashley said with a small smile “Well… She basically ordered me to accept it but I think it’ll be a bit fun. It will save a lot of time having to introduce ourselves to other ponies AND she wants us both to do something for her, not saying now since I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”
Callum already began to think about the surprise his friend just mentioned. Could it be about the pranks on Celestia? No, it couldn’t be…
He didn’t want to think about it any longer, it will just hinder his fun tonight. His bag carried the remaining bits he had earned from working but he needed to get the payment from Neon for last night. He knew Ashley didn’t have any funds at the moment and would only have the money he earned last night but Callum on the other hand, would gladly share his friends some of his money since after all the times Ashley paid for Callum’s tabs at bars, it was the least he could do.
“Also Cal.” Ashley began “Did you remember to hide your handgun and knife?”
“FUCK!” Callum let out in a slightly annoyed shout. He could have left it at the station, under the supervision of Shockwave, or he could have asked Spike to send a letter to the princess to look after. No one would dare to steal from the goddess of the sun, let alone it was a belonging of the human so they knew that they would have him and Ashley hot on their tail.
“I’ll be right back.” Callum said as he began to turn around to go back to Twilight’s but Ashley’s hand pulled him back by the shoulder.
“I’ll run it.” He gestured to the bag “I’ll get Spike to send a letter for Luna to pick up both mine and your stuff. And besides, I’m a faster runner than you.”
“Fair enough.” Callum shrugged, sliding his bag off him which contained his ammo, the handgun it belonged to, his knife and finally his money. He took out eight gold coins from his bag and placed them in his pocket. He wasn’t going to need his weapons for the night anyways.
Giving his friends a quick salute, Ashley immediately burst out in a sprint towards Twilight’s. Rainbow still admired the human’s capability to run at such a fast speed, Twilight’s mind took a mental note to record the human’s running speed and how far he can run before becoming tired. After all, it would be for science.
Fluttershy let out a relieved sigh as soon as Ashley left. Only Callum noticed her quite exhale. Rarity and Twilight had began to talk about what they thought the human world looked like, not thinking to ask the human that was right next to them. Applejack and Rainbow Dash on the other hand were arguing who could drink the most tonight.
With three loud knocks on the front door, Spike let out a groan as he descended down the wooden staircase and into the dark front room of the Library. Knowing where the door was, he felt around for the handle and with a click, he unlocked it with the nearby key and opened. He was greeted by the two legs of Ashley who stared down at him. In his hands were both his and Callum’s bags.
“Need ya to send something.” Ashley greeted the dragon with a small grin.
“Sure…” Spike replied with a yawn, he grabbed a nearby candle and blew his green flame onto it. The light made everything a bit green but it was better than nothing. The dragon was slightly blinded by the sudden change but his eyes adjusted quickly. He wandered to a nearby desk, placing the candle on top of it and opened the draw. He grabbed an inkwell, quill and some parchment.
“Ready…” He let out another yawn.
Clearing his throat with two coughs, Ashley began “Dear princess Luna. For tonight’s events. Callum, Twilight, the others and I are going to relieve some stress from the past few days with a night of drinking alcohol. As to why I am sending you this letter, I need you to come and retrieve two bags which contain both mine and Callum’s handguns and knives. Their ammo included.” Ashley stopped for a moment, watching as Spike jotted down the human’s spoken words. After a few seconds of human’s pause, the dragon gave him a nod to continue.
“The reason to why I am doing this is due to that we do not want to lose these items since they may fall into the wrong hands…Or hooves. Who knows? I would like you to keep them locked away until we can retrieve them the next day.
Yours sincerely, Ashley Cook.”
A couple seconds after finishing, Spike engulfed the finished letter in his signature green flames. Ashley was impressed by the dragons writing speed and now they waited…
The sound came from the side of the room with a very bright light. As the light faded, it left a dark blue alicorn who immediately locked eyes with Ashley before her eyes travelled down to the bags in his grasp.
“I will be taking those then?” Luna asked, Ashley said with a nod. Her horn began to glow a shade of blue which also engulfed the bags. To the human, their weight had disappeared so he let go of them, watching as they floated at the side of the alicorn.
“Since the night court is…*sigh* once again just me attending…” Luna began “Is okay if I can examine your weapons during the night?”
“You have my consent for my one Luna.” Ashley replied with a nod “It has Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark on the grip. But please, do not pull the trigger and take extreme care. They are very dangerous and I’m putting all my trust into you.”
She gave the human a nod and a sincere smile that would make almost any ones heart melt “I promise you I will be careful. Now go and enjoy your night out. I think these ‘handguns’ will quite the learning experience for me to look at.”