• Rainbow Dash has a reputation - she's loyal, spirited and often boastful, but everypony recognizes her mostly for being lackadaisical. However, does anypony ever truly know anyone completely? Within the deepest, most intimate recesses of our hearts, doesn't everypony have something secret they keep hidden away? Even from their best friends?
Twifight Sparkill
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20w, 1dSeattle's Angels
Comments ( 56 )
I think I learnt something reading this. I'm just not sure what. Big words, big words everywhere. ![]()
Either way, you successfully justified the one link I had to Rainbow Dash, her laziness. Curse you. ![]()
Great job! ![]()
Hello! Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting on the second story I've ever written - sadly, I am left feeling I have alot to learn about writing, ugh.
I really appreciate the encouraging words, I really do! I think I'll stick to silly pony stories though. I don't think I'm cut out for... this. You know? I tried though! That's what counts!
- Now that I think about it, I guess I am pretty lazy.
Echoing voidless' comment, I think it was good!
Rather unique as well, the show chooses not to touch on the fact that while she may be the most athletic of the group, she is also the laziest, two polar opposites. You explained it well, and if the writers needed an explanation to it, I have no doubt they'd go down this route. Still, you should write what you enjoy, it turns out better for both the readers and the author. But practise is practise, so this story might have helped you in the long run. ![]()
Look at me, trying to give advice. I've never done that. ![]()
You two make me very happy. Thank you.
- Makes a girl wanna cry! Oh wait, that's my hangover! Word to the wise guys, never drink and write. Once you get behind the keyboard, LIVES ARE AT STAKE! Always use a designated typist! Remember - DON'T DRINK AND PUBLISH!
Seriously though, way humbled and flattered! YAY! MADE MY DAY!
This was good! Kinda reminds me of myself in some ways... Certainly explains why she's sleeping all the time. It's funny though, using such an advanced vocabulary to describe Dash. Not to say that she's stupid, just thats she's a little more...
*equips sunglasses*
Down to earth...
YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An interesting piece of descriptive verse. Certainly, the tones and mood of freedom aren't lost on the bulk of the work. You've managed to capture a rather good interpretation of the duology of Dash's nature. The split between illustration and exegesis was well balanced, I felt, and it's really nothing more than a good photograph of scenery wrapped around a loose idea - which is what all good fiction should be.
My only complaint would be that Pinkie's dialogue didn't seem to be something I could hear her say, but that is nitpicking to extreme levels. Otherwise, keep it up!
Thanks so much for reading and liking my stories! Leaving comments really means a lot to me. You're awesome, Red. I see you reading alot of the stories I like, so this means EVEN MORE to me, as you've got great taste! Check out two great stories I think you'd like - Austraeoh and On the Edge of a Cliff. Also that joke was terrible. See you around!
Hey KitsuneRisu! Wow, it's ages now since we talked. Thanks for coming by! I have to disagree with you on Pinkie - and I hate to, seeing as we're practically sisters you & me - I think she's perfectly annoying as she is. You're such a crazy Pinkie fan! Sigh! So amusing. Be well, girlfriend!
- U MAD?
This was genuinely fun. And I plan to rely on some variation of it next time somepony accuses me of being indolent.
Ah, just completing this story made me feel more intelligent heh. Though i can't shake the feeling something is missing, as if more could be added, nonetheless it was a good read and i enjoyed it to the end. Once again good work.
You're right, of course.
I admit that when I jumped on ideas during my first stories, they were barely thought out - i'd literally just sit and write whatever craziness came to mind. I've since been taught, by a very good friend, that I should slow down and perhaps consider the most important question most ask of a story - WHY? As in, this exists and is of importance because of..? WELL!?
I appreciate your reading and liking my silly word marathons. You're good stuff. Charitable to a fault! Cheers!
It has so many words I can barely remember the definition of!
It's BRILLIANT!
Why does this appear in my "not-read" section every once in a while? Have you been changing something?
I was forced to do a major re-edit for having the entirety dissected, then I changed the title and foreword - does that affect anything? I have friends I watch that've done more & I've never had any notification! How is that fair? How come YOU'RE so special!?
If you read this a while back, perhaps it's worth a redo for my having comrades that're willing to offer brilliant suggestions - out of what I've dared to show, this remains the work I'm most proud of. If it's causing you grief, I'm so sorry! I don't know how to write!
Please, accept whatever apologies required - I'M A BAD PERSON.
- ... in a good way, AMIRIGHT?
Well that's awesome, because for KitsuneRisu it's vastly improved.
Whew!
The weirdest thing is i'll get messages from writers who've changed their stories' titles, and i'll have no idea what I read in the past - then I check, reread, and voila!
Yet i've been told by several readers that my stuff continually jumps in their lists - WHY!? Am I that special? NO.
Such a weird world.
Nicely done! Poor Rainbow Dash. She needs to open up to her friends more often.
Oh, speaking of honest, I noticed this more in your first fic, but also once or twice in this one: Just because spellcheck says it's okay doesn't necessarily mean it is. In your first fic, you used "he" once to refer to Twilight. I'll leave it to you to find out where ![]()
Pfft! That was funneh!!
You always give me a good laugh, chuckle, giggle, or otherwise any way of expressing happiness and/or amusement. Nice job!![]()
This story, I am completely floored, this is one of the most remarkable things I have read in a long while![]()
You have been attacked— um, I mean reviewed by the Seattle's Angels, so expect things to happen. Such as more people reading things. Such as me.
As for this story, I liked it. It's a very valid justification for Rainbow's constant laziness, apathy and attention-whoring. Although it felt like it had something missing. I am unsure what. Perhaps I am just disappointed in Rainbow's friends — I hate people who make assumptions.
What? I didn't comment on this the first time I read it? Bad horse.
I didn't read it as "mental illness". Is that why it has the dark tag? I could read it as "there's a fine line between passion and mental illness". But mostly I felt the passion.
Also, we both got a story in the same review post! That means our destinies are tied. I am afraid. Please be gentle. ![]()
This is the definition of forced ideals. You have in this sense provided an explanation--and not without just reward. Excellent.
I can't think of the words to appropriately describe this, so instead I'll just say I liked it, and leave it at that.
>>1894133 I think it's past the point of passion and more along the lines of an obsession or a compulsion. That and the premise that she might be wrecking her body by crashing into stuff and pushing past her physical limits so much might justify the Dark tag.
On another note, I'm glad this got featured by Seattle's Angels. I think I first saw this story on the front page a month ago when I was procrast- taking a break from studying for a final I had that morning, and I wound up liking it.
You nailed it - this was totally a dark tag idea wrapped in an "Oh, Rainbow Dash is so lazy!" ideal. Goodness knows I struggled with how it should have been presented, but I'm glad the dark tag is getting some recognition. Very astute - good work.
This story was actually published mid-September and during the update had its title accented, sending it somehow to the top of my story pile. Do I mind? Heck no! I love this wordy little jaunt! Makes me happy every time I see it! Juicy enough to be interesting, yet small enough in portion to be quickly satisfying.
Sounds a bit like Regidar.
Whom I LOVE.
>>1903138 Believe it or not, this story's release date actually had me confused for a while. It took me about three days to notice that some of the older comments were about 15-20 weeks old. That might not sound relevant at first, but when I realized that this story had been here for a few months (as opposed to a few days) and was still sitting at a few hundred views...
Long story short, I'm the one who recommended this to Seattle's Angels. You can actually see that on their fic recommendation thread (comment ninety-something). Whether or not what I posted on that comment does this story any justice is debatable, but in the end, your story got some time in the spotlight and I have a 16-bit version of your story's cover image, so I think everyone's a bit happy with the end result.
Wow. I... really don't know what to say, Phazon. Thank you seems sort of anemic considering, but... well! THANK YOU from the BOTTOM OF MY HEART for liking this story enough to recommend it, but mostly for liking it - I am touched, and though the scope of our language allows us a myriad of ways to communicate, sometimes the simplest and obvious gestures suffice:
HUGS!
>>1905927 Aw, hey, don't mention it.
I just really liked this story and thought it had gotten less attention than it deserved. I haven't actually read any of your other stories yet, but I think that's something I'll get around to that sooner or later. Feel no need to look at mine, though. One of them is just an OC story, another one's a sequel to that OC story, another one is a ponified version of a 3DS game that was released about a year ago, and the fourth one is something that I may or may not end up cancelling (depends on what I decide to do with it when I finally look back at it again).
Having looked back over the Angels' review of this story, I'm going to have to disagree with them. There's nothing mind-blowing about it; it all makes perfect sense and thus makes me question why it needed to be written. Certainly, the purpleness of the prose, not to mention the nouning of a couple verbs (require, deny), don't seem to serve any purpose. If the caveat had been "Rainbow Dash is extremely smart and just has a hard time expressing herself," there might have been something more to this. The only thing that caught me was the line about her being afraid of her true loyalties. That was insightful; the rest bordered on incomprehensible.
Fangirling moment - bear with me: OMFG LunaUsesCaps read my stuff! WOO!
... very embarrassing, yet necessary and satisfying.
As far as this little introspection goes, I'm sort of poisoned by presentperfect's somewhat scathing opinion - he's certainly not wrong. However, for a bit of instant gratification it exists and I'm proud of it and I've had more positive than negative feedback, so... mm. I am apparently fixating. Silly of me! I mean, this had to be recommended to even qualify for Seattle's Angels, um... yeah.
I'm still totally fangirling. Thanks LUC!
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I mean, this had to be recommended to even qualify for Seattle's Angels,
Not necessarily, except in the respect that they might not have found your story if it was never recommended. In fact, out of the 27 stories they've featured so far, I think only six of them were taken from their recommendation thread, and they've had dozens on fics recommended to them. In a small way, I'm almost as fortunate that they agreed with my recommendation as you are for getting featured.
Nevertheless, I am strictly attuned to it all being due your malfeasance - YOU WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL PERSON!
C'mon, seriously... it's an 1,800 word essay on what could be considered obvious. Whether my first serious stab at an actual story or no, the fact that it's getting a second glance makes me SO HAPPY.
Let's hope I can at least live up to it all. NO PRESSURE.
- WAH!
It's okay. The prose falls flat with some grammatical errors, though, and it just makes me feel like someone's just trying to sound smart.
Very valid, the part about someone trying to sound "smart".
I was vainly attempting to create the feeling that Dash herself was quite eloquent and thougtful, akin to perhaps some manner of unanticipated genius.
Sadly, I possess NONE of those qualities myself. It's not Dash's fault; I let her down with poor grammar and abundant abuse of the language throughout.
At least you gave it a read and had the decency to comment. I really appreciate that.
- Thank you! WOO!
- What the heck is grammar!?
- ... I have no idea, apparently. However, if you need any verbs nouning or whatever, apparently I'm your mare.
- You're silly, Twi.
Hooray! Thank you for the 100th thumb up! My favorite story finally goes for a century! I'm so very proud.
The Dark tag was an addition well after the fact, suggested by two or three readers, that perhaps a suitable warning should be flagged for Dash's nearly masochistic need to beat herself into exhaustion for a dream she nay never realize.
It's really just a busying, obsessive mark for the few who noticed I can't tag worth beans, eh.
Kudos to you,, Feurisson! Thanks for making my day special!
>>2567428 Yeah, and in that time, I've done stuff with my own stories, one of which you actually plugged on a recent blog post of yours for reasons I will never understand (mostly because you haven't told me), and got another recommendation featured by the Angels (it wasn't one of yours... please forgive me
).
As for you, you got one story in the feature box, came kind of close to getting your most recent story there (I think it climbed about halfway up the popular stories box), and also IRL crap to deal with.







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